The Mom Crowd

I recently hired two regular sitters for my kids when the fall semester starts up. We’ve always relied on family members to babysit for us, so this will be the first time we are trusting our children in the hands of non-family. This will also be the first time that I am regularly away from my children. Due to this upcoming change, I put together a handbook for our babysitters. When I was a babysitter, I would have LOVED it if my families left me with a handbook like this! I babysat for many years as a teenager and it was very hard to remember all of the last minute instructions parents left me as they were kissing their children goodbye. I can’t expect that a babysitter is going to remember when bedtime is, what to feed them for dinner, whether they need to bathe Susie first or give her a bottle first, etc…

I opened up my word processor and got to typing! For those of you who are crafty, I could totally see the handbook being done in a cute scrapbook style!  Mine is in a cheap, navy blue folder with prongs.  Some of this may be excessive, however I would rather be over-prepared than under-prepared.

So, what’s in my handbook?

Contact information

• Our full names
• Our home address and phone number
• Our cell phone numbers and my husband’s work phone number
• Emergency contact (Grandma) home/cell/work numbers

Rules

• I listed my children’s basic no-no’s (climbing on table, hitting each other, etc…)
• I gave basic household rules (no shoes on in our house, our policy on television, etc…)
• I gave the babysitter basic rules as well (keep stair gate and bathroom doors shut at all times, no smoking, guidelines on having visitors over, etc…)

Special instructions

• Potty/Diaper instructions-I listed where diapering materials are kept and instructions on what to do with dirty diapers. I also gave instructions on where the kids are at in potty training and instructions on when to let them sit on the potty.
• Outdoor instructions-I gave instructions on outdoor play. I asked that the sitter check for fire ants and check with me before hand if they wanted to play in the pool. I mentioned where the wagon is kept and other quick notes about outdoor play.
• Mealtime instructions-I noted where mealtime accessories are kept and a few notes about mealtime with my children.
• Bedtime instructions-I mentioned their nap schedule and bedtime routine. I most importantly noted that Darah must have her lovey for bedtime to be successful!
• Discipline instructions-I explained our discipline strategy with our children, located time-out and the buzzer for them, and explained which offenses deserved a time-out. I also explained redirection when time-out was over and what I expected from each child after time out (apology, hug, etc…)

List of foods

• I basically just listed the foods my children will eat so they don’t have to guess what to feed them if they need a meal or a snack.

Medical information

• I gave a complete list of all of our medical providers and specialists, including their addresses and phone numbers. This has been a handy list for myself!
• I typed up each child’s full name and their birthday and indicated if they have allergies and typed up the medications they are on. I also typed up their health issues, including a list of all surgeries and medical procedures and dates.
• Health insurance information, including copies of our insurance cards.
• Darah and Connor both carry a special card indicating their need for an antibiotic in case of an emergency due to their heart defects. I copied these for our babysitters.

More resources for creating a babysitter handbook:

Children’s Safety Zone Guide for Babysitters

Checklist for Preparing a New Babysitter

A Babysitter’s Guide to Babysitting for a child with diabetes

Printable Babysitter Checklist

What else would be beneficial in a babysitter handbook?

I recently watched a documentary called Raising Cain which is about some of the unique needs and issues that boys face today. It has some good insights in it-especially in understanding why boys seem to have more trouble in school than girls do. The documentary looks into the emotional needs of boys and how important the influence of men are in their lives.

My husband and I came up with this list together but he had most of the ideas. He has spent a lot of time thinking about how to raise 3 boys–all who have unique personalities and interests. I realize that some of you may not have a father in your sons’ lives but I hope this list helps you appreciate the men who are involved in your kids lives. Richard Rohr, author of Adam’s Return: The Five Promises of Male Initiation, after studying male initiation rites all over the world, says that all boys need men who are not their father to teach them what it means to be a man. So to all those men who are helping our sons become men–this is for you.

1. Play. When it is time for bath time at our house my two older sons ask every night, “do we have time for wrestling?” Every night. It is probably their favorite time of the day. During the day I let the boys climb on me but it just isn’t the same as rough housing with daddy or wrestling with their daddy. There is something fun for a boy when he gets to test his strength with daddy. Even though the boys know daddy is stronger, it gives them confidence when they can get a good wrestling move in on daddy. Jon uses that time for physical bonding and to teach them that they can get bonked around and have fun at the same time. I always hear squeals of laughter and delight and it makes my heart smile. You have probably noticed that men play much different than us moms do.

2. Modeling. Having different men involved in our sons’ lives models different examples of what it means to be a “man”. Having a variety of male influences in the lives of boys helps them to see that they can still be a man if they don’t like to play sports and prefer to read instead. My 4 year old loves being outside and trying out sports. He loves to run around and be active playing different outside games. My 3 year old will play along if we are doing a sports activity but his MO is books, stories, and imagination. Reading and playing imagination games really get him excited. Right now we just encourage play and trying lots of new things but I wonder if as they grow older my 4 year old will be more of a jock and my 3 year old will be more of an academic or creative person. There is a lot of pressure on young boys that they need to fulfill a certain criteria in order to be a man but they truth is that there is a huge spectrum of diversity in interests and talents. Which leads me to my next point….

3. Affirming emotions. “Boys/Men don’t cry” is probably one of the biggest lies that gets passed on to boys. Continuing to teach that to our boys is harmful but when a boy hears from a man that it is okay to have feelings (like sadness) and that it is okay to cry means much more to him than hearing it from his own mother. Jon has mentioned to me that it is a tough balance to teach boys how to both express those sadness feelings and also not be made fun of by peers. Boys learn how to express anger, sadness, and joy from watching other men. Tell the men in your sons lives to draw out their emotions and to affirm them.

4. Risk Taking. Us moms are the nurturers. We tend to tense up and shout out “Be Careful!” when our kids try something new–like climbing up the ladder for the first time at the playground. Our husbands and other men tend to hang back and tell the kids to go for it. Both are important. Kids definitely need nurturing but it goes against my nature to encourage a lot of risk taking. I appreciate that about my husband. I don’t want my sons to be wimps but I don’t think I would be able to teach them how to take a lot of physical or mental risks on my own.

5. Modeling Attitudes And Behaviors Toward Women. My husband is good about pointing out that they are to be respectful toward mommy. He is proactive in teaching the boys to honor women/girls and that they aren’t the “bad other”. It is a normal development when suddenly boys think girls are “yucky”. They start to realize that Barbie is for girls and girls like pink–and that stuff is “sooo yucky”. Sure, they learn it from social cues around them but when boys see other men treating women with respect they will learn it too. We don’t want our sons to think of women as weak or to patronize them but we do want our sons to be chivalrous and respectable young men.

I know that as my sons grow up it will be important for them to have other positive male influences in their lives. As they grow up I will encourage them to spend time with their grandpas, uncles, godparents, and family friends. We have often talked about having an all boys camping trip with some good friends of ours who have a son too (unfortunately we currently live across the country from them). I think creating opportunities for male bonding and influence will come more often as the boys grow older. Together we can shape these boys into the men we want to see them become.

How well do you like your Pediatrician? Occasionally I get asked by my friends who my Pediatrician is and how well I like her. When I needed to choose one I read a ton of  articles online about what to look for and asked my friends for referrals. We also interviewed our doctor to make sure that we had the same theories on health care and our personalities fit.

Here are a few practical tips about choosing a Pediatrician:

Consider the location of the office. How far do you want to drive for well baby check ups? Do you want to drive farther if you really love one doctor?

Interview prospective Pediatricians and have your questions ready. They usually have designated office hours to be interviewed. It can really save you a lot of heartache to meet them in person before they show up in your hospital room. Also, you will be able to check out the office before you bring your baby. Is it clean? Are the well children separated from the sick children?

Make sure that they service the hospital you are birthing at. Not all pediatricians have access to every hospital in town.

Do they really match your health care philosophy? For example, how well do they encourage breastfeeding if you want to breastfeed? They may say that they encourage breastfeeding, but what is their philosophy on supplementing? Especially during the time while you are waiting for your milk to come in. Most doctors won’t say that they prescribe a lot of medicine. I think you have to tell their philosophy about meds by the way they speak about prescriptions.

Find out how long the nurse has assisted the doctor. I think you can tell a lot about a doctor by how well they get along with their co-workers. My doctor’s nurse has been with her for over 18 years. That seemed like a good sign to me.  Also, there may be no way of knowing, but having a competent nurse comes in very handy. Many times she has solved my problem over the phone without coming in for a visit.

Ask for referrals from your friends. This is by far the best source of information in finding a Pediatrician. I asked everyone I knew and interviewed one based on the information I received. Moms can tell you first hand if they are pleased with their doctor’s office.

Does the Pediatrician’s office have weekend hours? I have went in on a Saturday once and I was very thankful that I didn’t have to wait three more days with my super sick baby to find out what is wrong.

Find another doctor if you don’t feel comfortable with your own. At your first visit you don’t sign a contract agreeing to only use them as your doctor for the next five years. If you don’t like the care you are getting or the way they communicate information to you, then you have freedom to find another one you like.

Pray and trust your Mom Instincts. Sometimes you have several choices and they all seem like good options. I would go with your instinct and go with the doctor you have peace about. That is how I ultimately chose mine and I have been happy with my decision.

Do you have any tips for new moms looking for a Pediatrician? Do you like your doctor? Why do you like them? Have you had any problems with your Pediatrician?

More Information:

Shopping for a Pediatrician on WebMD

Choosing a Doctor for Your Baby on Baby Center

Choosing a Pediatrician on Expectatant Mother’s Guide

10 Questions to Ask When Choosing a Pediatrician on iVillage

Choosing a Pediatrician on Ask Dr. Sears

Do you ever feel like your house is actually a plastic factory because of all the plastic toys, sippie cups, and utensils you have for your kids? I do. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at all the plastic that has invaded every room in my house. Especially when I read things that remind me that every piece of plastic ever invented is still on the earth and hasn’t decomposed. Or that animals are dying because plastic toys, bags and other products end up in the oceans, rivers, lakes, forests and animals eat them. Or when I read about how there are harmful plastics in plastic forks, cups, plates, spoons that my kids use everyday. I know that I don’t want to contribute to further global damage any more than I have to but it is truly impossible to avoid ALL plastics. Even though I aspire to reduce, reuse, recycle everything, I know that I will not be able to do that. My kids see things that interest them and 90% of the time they are made of plastic. I could simply institute a rule where we only buy used toys (nothing wrong with that) or wooden toys. Again, an unlikely solution. If I knew what I know now when I first started having kids, I would have stuck closer to cloth and wooden toys. I have already replaced or discarded several plastic eating items–they are much easier to replace.

I have begun to think more about the toys I get for my kids and to be a little more choosy when purchasing something new. I can’t control what grandparents get for the kids but I have encouraged them to think a little more green when it comes to toy buying.

There are lots of options for non-plastic toys and dinnerware so I thought I’d pass them along in case you have one of those moments where you contemplate throwing away every small piece of plastic that you have stepped on one too many times and need some replacement items. Or maybe you are tired of replacing batteries or hearing that obnoxious toy song for the umteenth time.

A word about wooden toys: one thing that attracts me to wooden toys is that they tend to open the mind for more creation and imaginative play. Instead of having plastic superheroes and movie characters that have already been created for you, wooden toys are more generic so that the imagination can take over. They also are more geared for educational learning. Wooden toys are not only durable but they have a “classic” look to them and are easier to pass on to the next generation.

Even though I could probably open my own store full of plastic toys, (we have a whole plastic bin full of “characters” that the boys play with all the time!) I keep my eye on earth friendly, natural, fun toys too. I don’t mean to communicate that all plastic superheroes, barbies, or Polly Pockets are evil–it is just nice to know that there are other options out there than the mainstream toys we are bombarded with everyday.

Toys:

RosieHippo Toys

Oompa Toys

Melissa and Doug

Water bottles, plates, spoons etc:

Kleen Kanteen

Bamboo Baby Fork and Spoon

The Snack Sack (a portable cloth sack that includes a stainless steel bowl–used instead of a ziplock bag)

Stainless Steel bowls, plates, cups from Lifewithoutplastic.com

More bottles, cups, spoons at thesoftlanding.com

The physical reaction to the MMR vaccination may be old news to parents who have children over the age of 1 but I hope that my daughter’s experience will help all those who are coming up on their little one’s 1-year check up. I don’t intend to give any medical advice here; I am only sharing what happened to my daughter, Annabelle.

The MMR vaccine stands for Measles, Mumps, and Rubella. Children receive 2 doses of the vaccine. The first does is given at 12-15 months of age and the second at 4-6 years of age when they are about to enter school and are at a higher risk of contracting one of the diseases.

Annabelle received the MMR vaccine, Chickenpox vaccine, and Pneumoccal Conjugate vaccines at her 1-year well visit check up. My pediatrician warned me that in 10-14 days she might get a fever and a rash, because of the MMR shot. Exactly 10 days later she got a high fever. She was sick for three days with a fever of almost a 103 degrees and she had funky, runny poop. Then as the fever was finally settling down she broke out in a rash and her face swelled up. My instructions said that the rash shouldn’t last more than three days and to call if they turned purple. Thankfully the rash only lasted three days, but she was ill for a total of a week.

In the bigger picture I would rather my daughter get a fever and rash that goes away, than the more serious risks of measles, mumps, or rubella. The CDC states that 1 in 5 persons will get a fever and that 1 in 20 persons will get a rash from the vaccine. Annabelle was one of the lucky recipients of the 1 in 20 chance.

Some parents choose to separate the vaccine into three different shots to decrease the chance of a reaction. The CDC claims that there isn’t any reason to separate the shots and “studies have shown” that parents may forget to schedule the extra visits to receive all the rest of the vaccinations and thereby put their children at a higher risk of not getting vaccinated. I don’t know what exactly Dr. Sears suggests on the MMR vaccine, but a recent blog post on his site says that there may be a shortage of the plain Mumps vaccine and gives a few suggestions about how to handle the shortage. The decision to separate the combination shot or not to separate the shot is up to you.

Additional Resources:

The CDC Information Statement about MMR

Detailed Background and History about Measles and Mumps vaccines from The National Academies Press

Related Post:

Aluminum in Vaccines

Did your child have any reaction to the MMR shot? Did you separate the shot into three?