Potty Trained When Home
My philosophy on most developmental milestones is, “wait until they’re ready and it’ll be a whole lot easier.” I have not always had this philosophy, but I’ve learned that racing to the next stage too early is very frustrating for me and for my child. One of my friends wisely told me that there are two things you can’t force a child to do. You can’t make them eat and you can’t make them use the potty. Children will learn very fast that they have complete control over those two things and the power struggle is inevitable if you push too hard.
We have been doing a lot of potty exposure in my house. My first child has special needs and went through a period where we thought she was ready to be potty trained, but she isn’t, so we are still exposing her hopeful that she’ll start being ready soon. However, through all of this exposure, my two year old son has become very interested in the potty. It got to the point where he would go pee whenever I put him on the potty. I decided that it was time to say goodbye to diapers.
We woke up one morning, I showed him his brand new Thomas the Train underwear and told him that he was a big boy and he was going to keep his undies dry by using the toilet whenever he needed to go potty. Every 30 minutes I took him to the potty and he did his thing proudly. He was motivated to use the potty with the promise of washing his hands when he was done.
We are now about a week and a half of being accident free at home. Sometimes he does not want to go when I tell him it’s time to use the potty, but I gently explain to him he can continue his activity once he goes potty. He has been very compliant. He still needs to learn how to poop in the toilet and I am hoping he will begin to tell me when he needs to go instead of needing reminders. I am also going to get over my fear of accidents in public and start keeping him in his underwear when we leave the house.
Potty training my son so far has been a very easy feat. I really believe that it is because he was emotionally, physically, and behaviorally ready for this milestone and it was never something that was forced on him. It sure feels good to only have 2 of my 3 children in diapers! I am hoping that he will rub off on his big sister and she will start showing an interest in becoming potty trained.
Do you have a more laid back approach like I do or do you have a different approach? How have you encouraged pooping in the potty and spontaneous potty usage instead of needing reminders? Are you afraid of public accidents like I am?
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I think with our daughter things were very different. We started putting her on the potty at 9 months because of her issues. Our Dr. suggested we put on the potty when she started pooping. At 9 months she was only pooping every 4 days and it took her about 20 minutes to go and a lot of screaming and crying. Once we stated putting her on the potty to go #2 it went a lot quicker and less painful for her. I think since she was using the at 12 months if I put her on the potty. But she started waking up on her own at 18 months dry and if I put her on the potty she would go. I did not start fully potty training until 25 months. I felt and she felt she was ready. I took a long weekend and since then she is diaper free. I do not push her when she has an accident since I do feel potty training is a long process and the more pressure she has to be “Perfect” I think will set her back. So when she does have an accident I tell her it is ok and lets go and sit on the potty. This is my first however I am not sure if this was the right way or not.
We tried so hard to encourage the potty with our son (who is now almost 4). When he was 2, we bought him a little potty, talked about how “cool” it was to go in the potty and let him come with us when we went. He always seemed very interested and would tell us when he was wet or “dirty”. We thought for sure he was ready, but our first attempts to get him to use the potty were a nightmare. We decided that if we waited, he would eventually want to try it by himself. All of his friends were potty trained and I think one day it clicked with him that he could do it too. Peepee in the potty took a long time, but we still struggle with poopoo. He fights going into the bathroom at that time, but once he’s in there, he pulls his undies off and hops right on the potty to go. His 17 month old sister has been in love with the potty and goes in there, says “peepee” and wants to sit on the big potty. We’ll strip her down and put her on there, but she just wants to sit for a second. I figure after our struggles with our son, that if she’s showing interest, she can sit on it as often as she wants!!!!
I was very laid back with potty training also. I knew that my kids would show me when they were ready, and that made it so much easier. My son was doing his BM’s on the potty right after he turned 2, but it took me almost a year to train him to pee on the potty. I definitely had a fear of accidents in public. I felt like it was so much easier to just change a wet diaper than to deal with a mess in public. Once I decided to just jump in and make him wear undies all the time, we had a public accident our first day! We were in Target and he was looking at toys and just peed right on the floor. I just looked at him in horror and I didn’t quite know what to do. Luckily we had some napkins in the cart and I just wiped it up and took him to the car. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Hang in there- my mom (who had 9 kids!) always told me “they won’t go to college in diapers”.
Kaylee is 21 months and has shown an interest in the potty for months now. She announces “mommy is peeing” whenever I use the bathroom. And she’s pretty good at telling me whens she’s pooped or peed. Sometimes she even tries to change her own diaper. Interesting, right? But we’re definitely taking a more laid back approach the actual potty training (we won’t start until we see some dry diapers through the night or at least for a few hour stretch). I don’t want to stress her out.
With our first (a boy) we started training him early – 18 months. He showed interest and could start and stop his pee at will. However, it just didn’t click with him until he turned 3. He would never go on his own and didn’t quite get the feeling of having to go. I hate that we spent so much wasted money on those horrible pull-ups and so much time and energy taking him potty when it just wasn’t “clicking”. Our second (a girl) pretty much begged to be potty-trained at 18 months. A dream! However, she only JUST night time trained at 4 1/2. With our 3rd, another boy, I decided to wait until he was really ready. I spent two whole days devoted to potty training and gave up because he would pitch a big fit whenever I took him potty. Then 5 minutes later would pee his pants. It took several accidents in cloth trainers (with plastic pants) before he got the idea. One day, much to my surprise, he said he had to go – and he went! It’s been smooth sailing ever since. He is 3 years and 3 months old. For me, it just wasn’t worth the time or energy potty-training a child who isn’t ready while homeschooling and raising 4 kids. As far as training on the go, I just put pull-ups on him for the added protection and praise him like crazy if he stays dry (or pees in the public restroom). He loves stickers and high-5′s! Now, if anyone has advice for getting a 6 1/2 year old boy to stay dry at night, I’m all ears. He’s a hard sleeper so he never wakes up to pee. I wake him sometimes to go when I go to bed but he won’t remember it in the morning. Help! If I get him night time trained I’ll only have one in diapers!
Amy, when is the last time he drinks before going to bed? I had to cut my son off from ALL liquids at least an hour (sometimes two) before he went to bed and take him to the toilet right before bedtime to ensure a dry morning (he too is a hard sleeper). Also, how cold is it in your house? We’ve discovered David has more difficulty staying dry at night if it’s chilly.
People here toilet train their children very early, usually before age two. I’m not sure how it gets done, but I’m sure it has a lot to do with living in an honor/shame culture.
Also, I would like to know if anyone has employed Elimination Communication (aka infant potty training) with their children. Successful? Not worth it?
We did Infant Potty Training with our daughter due to circumstance.We started her at 9months. I know a few moms who did do IPT and it seemed to work for them. I am not sure if it did help my daughter potty train faster but I might go the same route when we have another.