The Mom Crowd

 I have been thinking about holiday traditions the past few days.  Mostly, I have been feeling anxious about whether or not my family has any.  My kids are now to an age where traditions seem to be part of their development because they understand more about what is going on around them and they want to participate. When I mentioned it to my husband this evening, he was perplexed as to why I felt like we don’t have any. We put up a tree, do an advent calendar, read the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas morning, open presents….. It was then I was able to clarify that I feel like we are missing something UNIQUE to our little family unit.  What is something that we do over the holidays that incorporates fun and sentiment all in one scoop?

 This year I thought we’d make some roll out sugar cookies together and that maybe THAT could be our special thing. Except when it came down to it, I felt more like Monica Gellar from Friends wanting to shout at the children, “Wait!  You don’t know the system!” And part of me wanted the cookies to look pretty and professional.  The kids had fun dumping out piles of sprinkles over the freshly iced cookies and licking their fingers every few seconds. So much for pretty symmetrically decorated cookies.  At dinner when we were debriefing the whole experience my oldest shared, “Mommy didn’t let us touch anything.”  That isn’t true–I did let them use the cookie cutters but I had to tell them to wait several times–my rationalization is that it was my first time making rolled sugar cookies and I was figuring it out for myself first before I let them help me very much.  All I could see was warped cookies not being picked up carefully and so much sprinkles around me I thought I was at the beach.  In the moment I was thinking that maybe this isn’t what one of our traditions should be.  I have to learn to have more fun and not care if the whole house gets trashed with cookie sprinkles while the baby swipes freshly cut out cookie dough from the cookie sheets. 

 One thing we have done and are planning on doing again is to gather some other friends and go Christmas caroling in our neighborhood. We did that 2 years ago and it really made an impression on our oldest son.  He has asked if we are going this year again.  We are having people meet us at our house after an early dinner and then we will go out for an hour to sing to the neighbors.  We’ll come back to our house for some hot chocolate and desserts to warm up again. 

 Maybe we don’t need any more traditions than what we do have.  Maybe I’m putting too much stock in the need to be unique. Maybe my kids will remember making cookies and going Christmas caroling with fondness and feel all kinds of nostalgia when they think back on their childhood.  I hope so.

 But, I am wondering, what do you do for your special Christmas or holiday traditions? When did you start doing them? Were your traditions passed on from when you were a kid?

I read two great articles last week called 10 Things You Should Never Buy New and 10 Things You Should Never Buy Used.  Ironically, I had been thinking that week of all of my favorite hand-me-downs or favorite things that we have bought “new-to-us.”  Some people just are not and will never be hand-me-down lovers.  I am the complete opposite.  I check Craigslist and Ebay very regularly.  There are a lot of items in my house that were either handed down to us or we bought used.  One of my most favorite places to shop is a resale shop called Kid-to-Kid.  While I love hand-me-downs and buying used, there are some things that just are a no-go.  For example, I don’t buy my own clothes used and sometimes, simply for convenience sake, I will spend a little more to buy brand new.  I also ALWAYS buy new when buying gifts for others.

The items that you should never buy new according to MSN include books, DVDs and CDs, children’s toys, jewelry, sporting equipment, timeshares, cars, computer software and video games,  office furniture, and hand tools.  Items you should never buy used according to MSN include laptops, carseats, plasma televisions, DVD players, vacuum cleaners, camcorders, shoes, mattresses, wet suits, and helmets.

I generally agree with these articles.  Carseats, helmets, and other safety gear should always be new! However, electronics are risky when you buy used, but depending on how good of a deal you can find the risk may outweigh the cost.

So, what about you?  Are you a hand-me-down gal or do you prefer to have everything brand new?  What do you think of these lists?  What are your favorite used finds?  What things will you never, under any circumstances, buy used?  

Recently the incredible Mommy Zabs commented on one of our posts and brought up the subject of letting your kids spend the night at other people houses. I thought it was a great topic to discuss, because I know I am going hear my daughter asking to spend the night at her friend’s house one day.

For advice on sleepovers I turned to my sister-in-law, Denise. She has three girls at the ages of 15, 8, and 6. Needless to say, she has plenty of experience with slumber parties and letting her girls spend the night at their friend’s houses.  I did a Q & A with her on the subject:

How old was your first child when they spent the night at a family members house? At a friend’s house?

My daughter was about 1 year old when she spent the night with my parents.  It was easy and painless.  She spent the night at a friends house when she was 3. I got the call in the middle of the night and realized that she was way too young for a sleep over at a friends house.

Do you have any rules in place before you let one of your daughters spend the night at a friends house? Do you have to meet both parents before letting them spend the night? Do you need to have been in their house before that evening?

Absolutely there have to be rules in place before you let your child spend the night at someone’s house.
*It is VERY important that you go to the house BEFORE the night of the sleepover
*You should have spoken to the parents and know who stays at the house

One thing that my husband and I did to help other parents feel comfortable was we would plan the sleepover when he was not going to be home.

Did you have any fears the first night your child spent the night with someone else? If so, how did you handle them?

Yes, I had plenty of fears the first few nights that all of my girls spent the night at other people’s houses. The first way that I handled it was to say a prayer. That helped me to remember that I knew and trusted the people they were staying with. If all else failed I would call and talk with her.

What do you communicate to your child before they spend the night with someone else?

Make sure that they understand that if they feel uncomfortable they can always call you. We also have had the discussion about their bodies being their own and that no one was allowed to touch or see them.  Also, we discussed manners and how they should behave in another persons home.

Do you communicate any rules about bedtimes, foods, or movies with the parents hosting the sleep-over?

Yes, by knowing the parents I feel comfortable communicating what types of movies my daughter can or can not watch. I also have asked before that the junk food be limited.

Have you ever had to tell your child that they could NOT spend the night at someone’s house?

Yes, If I have not gotten to know the parents of the other child I will not let my daughters spend the night.

Do you let your kids go to Slumber Parties?

Yes, but all the rules that I previously stated apply.

Do you host Slumber Parties? What do you do to calm the fears of parents letting their children spend the night with you?

Yes, I host slumber parties. When the girls are under 10 we made sure that my husband was going to be out with friends. Also, when the parents come to drop their child off I always let them come in the house and stay until they feel comfortable. I make sure that the parents know what we are planning. We exchange phone numbers, home and cell.

Finally, do you have any advice for other parents about letting their kids spend the night at a friend’s house?

Use your best judgment. If it feels wrong don’t be afraid to say no. Make sure that you know who your kids are friends with. You can’t know all the other children that your child meets at school but if you talk with them you can get an idea. Invite their friends over for short play dates. By doing this you will be able to meet their parents.

Thank you, Denise, for letting me ask you a few questions!

Have you let your kids spend the night at their friends’ houses? What rules do you have in place?

I was going to write a post on Co-sleepers for this week but I had such a spontaneous art afternoon with my 5 year old that I had to share! It is now officially fall and here in Pennsylvania the leaves are turning beautiful colors of orange, pink, red, and yellow.  Driving through the valleys makes me wish I had a convertible so I could take in the beauty.  Every time I look out the window in the backyard I see leaves falling and drifting down to find a place to land in the grass.My 5 year old, Ewan, had an idea to go out and rake the leaves in the backyard–so he could jump in them, of course.  The other 2 boys were napping and I like to use that time to spend some quality time with Ewan.  In my head I could do several things at once (us moms  are so good at multi-tasking, aren’t we?)–I could spend time with Ewan, AND get the leaves raked, AND burn some calories too.  Score!We finished the backyard and moved into the front yard.  We have a beautiful Maple tree in the front yard that is also shedding its beautiful red leaves.  As we were finishing our raking, Ewan suggested that we pick some leaves so we could paint around them and make a collage.I couldn’t believe that my son was suggesting we do an art project together!  He isn’t necessarily a crafty kid.  I told him we could do whatever he wanted.  So he picked out some leaves of different sizes and we brought them in.Here is what you need for the project:

• Washable Tempera Paints
• Paint Brushes
• Paper
• Flat leaves of various sizes  (you don’t want them curled too much because it makes them harder to paint over)
• Paper towels
• A cup with water for rinsing the paint brush
• A plate (paper or plastic) for a pallet

As we were working on our project, Ewan shared that he had read about this project in a book at school and thought it would be fun to try.  It was so fun for him to tell me his idea and how to do the project! 1. We used extra large 12″X18″ finger painting paper for our project.2. We set the paper on the table and then placed the leaves in a random pattern on the paper.3. We got our paint brushes loaded with paint and got ready to paint over the leaves.4. I helped Ewan hold down the leaves on his paper so he could paint around them leaving a white spot in the shape of the leaf.5. When he was done painting around the leaf we took the leaf off of the paper and set it on a paper towel to keep the table clean.When we were done, I thought the pictures came out great and it was a very simple project.  I was having so much fun with it that I wanted try some different variations with the paints. Even though Ewan was excited about his idea, it didn’t mean that he wanted to spend an hour doing it! So, I didn’t make a lot of them but i did have fun. We did take the leftover leaves that were covered in paint and made prints of them too. I think that this project would be great for kids 2 years and older.  Obviously, the younger the child, the more help he/she will need.  Two year olds will love going on a leaf hunt, picking up leaves, and trying to paint over them.  Just be prepared with a wet towel nearby for paint spills! I hope that you enjoy making this project with your kids as much as I did!  If you decide to make this project, take a picture of it, post it on your blog and leave a comment with a link so we can see your own budding artists at work!

Congratulations!  Over sixty of you bought a whole lot of raffle tickets and I’m so happy that we were able to help the Balsis family in this way!!  They are now home from their first trip to Russia and have met a little girl who has Down syndrome and will be bringing her home very soon.  Addison Veronika is the cutest thing ever!  She is going to be two years old next month.  While our raffle is closed, they still have a lot of expenses coming their way with another trip to Russia and the costs of finalizing their adoption.  If you would like to follow the Balsis family and/or financially support their adoption, you can do so by visiting their adoption blog: Dreaming on an Angel.

Before I announce the lucky ducky winners of our fantastic prizes, I want to send a big THANK YOU to the sponsors and co-hosts of this raffle!  I am blown away by the generosity of others and grateful for your support for this special family’s adoption journey.  Thank you so much, from the bottom of our hearts!

Now onto the big announcement!  All winners have been notified by email as well.  Congratulations!!

• Shay K.- Serena and Lily Rory Crib Set
• Amelia S. -  Dear Johnnies Robe and Gown Set
• Vanessa B. – UPPAbaby G-Lite Stroller
• Judith D. – UPPAbaby G-Lite Stroller
• Amy A. – Born to Love Pink Argyle Visor Beanie
• Shylo U. – Bella Tunno Circus Spots Chalk Placemat
• Claudine E. – JessiJeanJewelry Blue Swirl Glass Pendent
• Julie O. – Ellie Bellie Kids Lavender/Lime Tutu
• Kim D. – SlickSugar Guitar Tee
• Williams Violet – Cuddlebee Brown Dot Bib and Burp set
• Robert B. – JP Lizzy Sprout Tote
• Cheri P.  – BabyRock Apparel Sorry Boys tee
• Brian R. – Baby K’tan Camo Baby Carrier
• Michael G. – Made By Angie Primary Dots Wipes Case
• Kristie B. – Itzy Ritzy Bitzy Blanket in Black Damask andBlack Minky Dot
• Shylo U. – Paperluxe Studio Set of 24 Notecards
• Aimee B. – BabyRock Apparel Heart and Crossbones Shoes
• Breanna P. – Born To Love Tan Visor Beanie
• Sherry F. – Baby Rock Apparel Sweetheart Onesie
• Jessica S. – Wet happened? Carnival Bloom Wetbag
• Natalia D. -  Baby Rock Apparel Preschool Tee
• Amy A. – Clairebella Candy Stripe Blue Moses Basket
• Jenna P. – Mia Moda Ciello Stroller
• Brigitte V. – Bella Tunno Sweet Tooth Play Smock
• Debbie B. – Born To Love Pink Visor Beanie
• Sherry H.  – Cuddlebee Fun Dot Bib and Burp Set
• Naomi S. – Baby Rock Apparel Angelic Onesie
• Kara S. – Ellie Bellie Kids Mocha Messenger Bag
• Carmen M.  – Little Showoffs Myself Tee
• Colleen B. – Little Showoffs Rock Star Newborn Onesie
• Craig G. – Ribbies Hair Clippies
• Jodi R. – Sarabear Havana Diaper Caddy
• Sherry F. – Mairzey Dotes Dotty Bird Bib and Burp Set
• Jennifer S. – Pink Axel Peace Beanie
• Jeanette W. – Pink Axel Peace Beanie
• Kari B. – Georgie Tees Let’s Get Smashed Onesie