Am I A Broken Record; a few musings on childhood misbehavior
I think I have a record player, or should I say cd player, implanted in my brain. It causes my voice to repeat things over and over. Does this happen to you too?
I enjoy the tracks where my mouth says things like “I love you”. Things like “we don’t put pillows over the baby’s head”, not so much. When it comes down to it, sometimes I get so tired of repeating the same things over and over, know what I mean?
Things like:
- Stop whining!
- Get off of your brother; He is asking (okay screaming) for you to stop sitting on him.
- Please follow mommy’s directions.
- Will you please stop leaning on me and sit all the way in your chair (at dinner).
- Trowing a fit will not get you what you want.
- Pick up your toys or they will be taken away the next time I come in here and they aren’t picked up.
- We don’t hit in our house, we use our hands to show love.
- Don’t run away from me!
- If you get up from time-out before the timer goes off there will be further consequences.
- Get in your car seat!
- Why are you out of bed?
- Because I asked you to do ________.
- Go to the potty BEFORE any pee-pee gets in your underwear!
I think I might have said all of those things in one day! The trick is to say all of these things in a voice that isn’t angry. And boy does that get hard when I’m tired–or just sick and tired of repeating the same things over annoying behavior. The truth is that I should not be surprised that my children misbehave and don’t do everything they are supposed to do. Shocking, I know. They are kids and they aren’t perfect–just like I am not. But in all honesty, sometimes I wish that they never misbehaved. I have to remind myself that their mistakes are chances for them to grow in their character (mine too) and opportunities for me to show them that I love them despite their misbehavior or bad choices.
Sometimes when the broken record is playing I have flashbacks into my own childhood when my mom would say some of those same things to me. So weird.My hope is that on the days where I am repeating all the “behavior correction” tracks that I can squeeze in the tracks that tell them:
- I love you.
- Let’s have some special play time.
- You are important to me.
- I’m so glad you are mine.
- I love how God made you.
- You are significant.
I once heard that for every criticism you tell a child they need to hear 5 positive things about themselves. That is hard to do some days. I find it too easy to get into the pattern of just correcting behavior and being nitpicky rather than enjoying the day given to me and cherishing the everyday moments with my child. I mean, if I ask one of my kids to put something away and they want to spin in circles instead of walk on the way to putting it away, does it really matter? I’m learning how to let some of those things go so I can spend more time loving on my kids and laughing with them.
What phrases do you find yourself saying over and over again? Is there anything you say now that your parents used to say to you? And tell me your secret about how you speak kindly to your kids when they are whining about wanting to watch TV for the 150th time that day!
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