The Mom Crowd

This week I caught the premiere episode of “The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom” on The Learning Channel (new episodes air Mondays at 10/9C). The concept of the show is this: regular, stay-at-home moms are selected to spend a week outside of their familial responsibilities to try doing the job of their dreams. It asks the questions “What if I pursued my dream job instead of becoming a stay at home mom?” “Could I do it?” and “Did I miss out on my true calling?”

After seeing the first episode centered on a SAHM of 10 years, Adrian Stark – who works as a fashion designer in a high-end California boutique for a week while her doctor husband, Bruce, stays home with their three daughters – I found that the show attempts to answer those questions in a bit of a confusing way.

Here are some random observations and reactions to what I saw:

1. It borrowed ideas from several familiar reality t.v. shows. When Adrian skipped town for a few days, she left a six-page to-do list for her hubby to follow – you know, instructions for how to care for the kids full-time. It was reminiscent of “Wife Swap” to see Bruce mocking the list, saying, “Moms take things so seriously!” To which Adrian responded, “If it doesn’t get done, it leads to chaos!” (I agreed with her completely. We moms know what we’re talking about when it comes to nitty-gritty, day-to-day responsibilities!) And as a viewer, I just knew Bruce was being set up to look like an idiot. A few minutes later, visions of “Supernanny” danced through my head as I saw the girls begin to lose control. As daddy kept up his laid-back parenting shtick, the younger daughters fought and threw things, leading to crying and general chaos. And finally, it seemed very “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” every time the “SLSM” truck parked in front of the Stark home. It’s this big, ominous black trailer acting as the “hub” of the show. Hostess Tracey Gold (yep, Carol Seaver in the flesh!) hangs out inside, surrounded by televisions, watching everything that happens like a modern-day “big brother”. It carried Adrian to and from her workplace and magically transformed her into a hip woman every time she stepped out of the truck (regular mom clothes weren’t going to cut it at the Bianca Nero boutique, y’all.)

2. The show required the mom to lie about everything she was doing. I wasn’t a big fan of that bit. I didn’t think it was necessary. Adrian’s husband and daughters were told that she was going to a spa for a few days. There were a few phone calls made to their home before Adrian left, and Adrian had to lie to her family about who it was. The show even provided a pair of black-pantsuit-wearing “assistants” to go into their home to clean and cook dinner while Adrian was out the first day. (I suppose this was all supposed to be in fun with its secret-agent covertness, but the humor was lost on me.) Near the end of the program, Adrian said, “I wanted to be a strong role model for my girls,” and then she sat down with them, saying, “I have to tell you all something. I have been lying to you. I know that’s wrong, but what I was doing was really exciting!” When they saw she had been designing gowns for an upscale boutique that had an occasional celebrity client (most dropped name: “Academy-Award-winning-actress-Jennifer-Hudson”), they all quickly let the dishonesty go. Somehow I don’t think my husband would be as understanding, but hey, that’s just us.

3. The on-the-job scenes were a stressful, high-intensity situation. Adrian was asked to design three dresses in three days (a task not even given on Project Runway!), but I don’t think she actually had to make all of them herself. Even though one designer kept telling her she was welcome at the studio, the others lurked around Adrian, giving off a nervous and strangely stoic vibe. They rarely assisted or gave her any concrete guidelines, but managed to hover over her with critiques and doubtful expressions. It would have made me crazy, but throughout the experience, Adrian did a remarkable job, creating three really pretty gowns in time for a last-minute (of course!) fashion show for some very important clients. The end result? Only one dress passed muster. The other two were “all wrong”. (I felt bad for her.) At the end of the experience, Tracey Gold asked Adrian, “Is the trade-off worth it?” As viewers, we’re led to believe that no, actually it isn’t.

4. The show seemed to imply that being a stay-at-home mom can’t be the dream job. It’s tagline read, “For anyone who has put their dreams on hold.” I can understand that a lot of us don’t always feel called to our position as moms, and sometimes wonder if there isn’t more out there for us. But for many moms, being a mom is their dream fulfilled. I would have enjoyed it if the show had explored this more. Even though Adrian admitted “It’s a beautiful gift to be a stay-at-home mom,” she never really said that much more about it.

5. And she was offered a full-time job at the boutique by week’s end! I’m not sure if it will always work out this way in future episodes. After all we’d seen in the boutique, it didn’t seem too promising for Adrian, so I was wondering if there was any push from the producers to make this happen. In front of her family, Adrian was offered the job and told she had two hours to accept. Not only that, she’d have to start the following Monday. Talk about a big decision! And in such an environment of heightened intensity. It’s like going on a dating show and saying that the man you just met is your soulmate… when actually, it’s not such a great fit once the t.v. cameras go away. Adrian did accept the job, and it ends with the family in excited agreement that her dream finally came true. I just can’t help but wonder what’ll happen to their family’s dynamics now. The girls have never been in day care before.

So while it was interesting viewing, I felt conflicted when it was all over. Is the message in “The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom” that being a stay-at-home mom isn’t good enough? Am I a less interesting person because I’d rather raise my kids myself instead of pursuing a full-time dream job? And will all of the moms in future episodes readily abandon their posts to take the glitzy job that might be offered to them?

Did any of you watch this show? What did you think? (p.s. Even in the closing credits, Tracey Gold was still hunkered down in the stealth-mobile, watching everyone on those tv’s!)

I’ve been listening to Colbie Caillat’s Coco nonstop. It’s sunny and cheery and mellow. It makes me feel like it’s already spring, like I can go put on some shorts and drive with the windows rolled down. If you haven’t already gotten your hands on this record, do so immediately!

So anyway, as I was driving Lucy to preschool the other day, I listened more carefully to the last track and noticed it was about a mom-to-be! Simple, sweet, and precious. Apparently Colbie Caillat wrote this song for a friend, Barbara, who named her daughter Capri.

She’s got a baby inside / And holds her belly tight
All through the night / Just so she knows
She’s sleeping so / Safely to keep
Her growing / And oh when she’ll open her eyes
There’ll be no surprise /That she’ll grow to be
So beautifully / Just like her mother
That’s carrying

Oh Capri / She’s beauty
Baby inside she’s loving / Oh Capri
She’s beauty / There is and angel growin’ peacefully
Oh Capri / Sweet baby
And things will be hard at times / But I’ve learned to try
Just listening / Patiently, oh Capri
Sweet baby / Oh Capri
She’s beauty / Baby inside she’s loving
Oh Capri / Your beauty
Just like your mother / That’s carrying…Oh Capri

The first video (below) gives you a chance to hear the song.

I thought some of you might enjoy seeing a live version, as well. The little girl for whom the song was written dances around onstage while Colbie sings it. It’s so sweet – be sure to watch the whole thing. Capri reminds me a lot of my Lucy.

This warm fuzzy goes out to all of you moms-to-be. Happy weekend.

Mine is Jennifer Garner. The pictures I see of her with her daughter Violet are adorable. And she’s real. This picture in particular shows her looking like a regular, everyday mom (T-shirt? Check. No makeup? Check. Unstyled hair? Check. Still looks great? You betcha.)

She kicked butt in this, and incorporated her pregnancy into the show’s storyline.

She was too cute in this.

She played a wonderful wannabe-mom in Juno. (Check out Amanda’s take on the film.)

I thought she looked fabulous in this, my favorite Oscar dress ever. (She even slips and nearly falls with aplomb, and on “Hollywood’s Biggest Night”, no less.)

Year after year, I keep taking her picture to my stylist to copy her haircut.

And you gotta love a pregnant celebrity who keeps her priorities straight.

Who’s your favorite celebrity mom?

A few months ago I wrote a post entitled “Unsung Wonder-Moms in Film“, which lauded mom characters in movies that weren’t necessarily about motherhood. The topic spurred many of you to comment about your own favorite movie moms. And a friend of mine, after reading my article, responding with the following:

Although she’s a bit of a weeny, I always liked the mom in Footloose. She was one of those moms who was loving and steady, but ready for the family to heal and move on.
Oh, and can I say Marilla Cuthbert from Anne of Green Gables? She was definitely a wonderful adopted mom of Anne; she was loving, steadfast and supportive, despite her initially frosty exterior.

I couldn’t agree more with Chrissy’s inclusion of Marilla (played by Colleen Dewhurst) as a remarkable maternal figure to Anne-with-an-”e” Shirley. In case you are not familiar with these names, they are main characters in a popular adolescent literature series, the first and most prominent title being Anne of Green Gables. A deliciously entertaining pair* of mini-series was made in the late ’80s based on the stories. It is must-see entertainment, full of adolescent adventures and indelible life lessons, as well as endearing Canadian accents. The lead actress, Megan Follows, is fantastic. If you haven’t yet sat down with your daughter, a sister, or a favorite girlfriend to have an Anne Shirley marathon, get thee to a public library and check out these excellent videos (Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea). Then cancel your weekend plans and enjoy.

Anyway, I probed Chrissy for more of her opinions and insights about Marilla Cuthbert, and our Q & A session is below. In case you haven’t seen it, watch out, for there might be spoilers.

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How old were you when you first saw the movie? Did your age impact the way in which you first viewed Marilla as a mother figure? As an adult, has this impression changed any?

I think I was around 8 or 9. Yes, I do think my age impacted the way I first saw Marilla. Initially I thought she was very stern, and since my focus at that time was more on Anne, I just simply didn’t notice Marilla’s role in the story as much. As I continued to watch the movies over the years, I began to pay attention to other characters and, of course, that included Marilla.

When in the story did you start to see Marilla’s “frosty exterior” begin to melt?

I think there are elements of this from the very beginning of the story. Most notably, there’s a scene in which Marilla is telling the lady that brought Anne from the orphanage that there was a mix-up because she and Matthew asked for a boy, not a girl. The lady says that another family in town might be able to take Anne and it just so happens that the matriarch of that family walks up at that moment. She’s obviously a very hard, uncompassionate woman and almost immediately starts barking out orders at Anne. Marilla watches this in silence, and says that she actually needs time to reconsider and that she should talk to Matthew before making any decisions about Anne.

And of course, who could forget the scene where Anne forgets to put the cheesecloth over the sauce for the dessert she’s making for dinner with Miss Stacey? In a dramatic gesture at the end of the meal, Anne commands everyone to drop their forks because a mouse perished in the sauce earlier that day. Marilla is embarrassed and apologetic and rushes away all the dishes. But Miss Stacey starts to laugh, and eventually Matthew and Marilla join her in side-splitting laughter.

What is your favorite scene with Marilla and Anne in any one of the Anne movies?

There are so many good ones that I don’t think I can name an exclusive favorite! Although there are many funny scenes between the two characters, there’s a really touching moment right after Matthew dies, when Marilla hears Anne crying in the night. She gets up, comes to Anne’s room and comforts her. She says that even though Matthew seemed better able to express his love for Anne, she loves and has loved Anne just as much as Matthew did.

How specifically was Marilla steadfast and supportive?

Although Marilla was strict with Anne, she also encouraged her to reach for her dreams of teaching and going to college. She stood by Anne in the face of others’ prejudice against orphans (ex. Diana’s mother not forgiving Anne when Diana accidentally got drunk). Marilla was proud of Anne’s accomplishments and praised Anne for them. Marilla was dedicated to Anne and despite the many ups and downs that they went through, she remained faithful and committed.

Is there any nugget of wisdom or advice that you remember Marilla sharing with Anne?

I think that Marilla often gave Anne very practical pieces of advice because she was so pragmatic herself. But one piece of indirect advice was given when Marilla told Anne that she regretted the fact that she never forgave her old beau, Gilbert’s father. Marilla basically told Anne not to be too proud or unforgiving with people, because you could run the risk of alienating important relationships and ending up alone. Pretty good advice, I think. There was also the time that she offered to soothe Anne’s disappointed hopes and confusion about love with plum puffs. You can certainly never go wrong turning to yummy and sweet baked goods in times of trial.

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I agree wholeheartedly. Thanks, Chrissy, for your insights! What about you, dear moms? Are you a fan of these great movies? What are your thoughts about Marilla as a mom figure?

Happy weekend, and check back next time to see if I delve into the argument of whether or not the mom in Footloose is, in fact, a weeny.

* Just a note to acknowledge the third movie made, Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story – I only saw it once but was not terribly impressed with it. And for you hard-core fans, did you know that this is in the works? Holy cow!

I always find it a bit amusing to see what modern-day celebrities name their little unassuming children. I remember a few years ago when Courteney Cox & David Arquette named their daughter Coco. “Coco? I guess that’s interesting,” I thought. It’s either going to remind people of perfume or chocolate cereal, but what it makes me think is that she’s the daughter of a very famous Friend. (That Monica Geller can name her kid anything she wants! According to one site, Coco comes from Courteney Cox. Makes sense to me!) So, Coco it is, and she’ll pull it off, too! The more I hear it, the more it sounds completely everyday, like, why aren’t more girls out there named Coco? But could I get away with naming my child something like that? Not hardly. Thinking about introducing my daughter “Coco” to, well, pretty much anyone makes me laugh inside. (Sidenote: If I followed the “Arquette formula” with my own daughter, her name would be Dace. Hmm.)

By now, you must be thinking of little Apple Martin, one of the most famous head-scratchers of a celebribaby name. I think it’s cute. Or maybe you’re thinking of Pilot Inspektor, who is the son of Jason Lee. The “Lee formula” is simple: any profession + any misspelled profession = unique celebribaby name. Try it! Here’s mine: Cable-Guy Teecher. It even has a touch of irony! In this celebrity baby-naming world, you can also take any unexpected noun and use it for your baby’s name: Camera. Puma. Seven. Denim. Audio Science. (Those are real ones.) Again, I’m convinced that these names only work on the famous, where audacity in baby-naming is not only common, it’s expected. Case in point: Nicole Richie named her new daughter Harlow Winter Kate. Harlow is beautiful, uncommon, and dramatic. But just in case it wasn’t enough, they threw in “Winter”. I didn’t even bat an eye at this. That’s just what they do, those famous folks!

Funny thing is, after scanning this list, I noticed a couple of my top boy/girl picks from the past! And no, it wasn’t Daisy Boo for a girl and Banjo for a boy. We long considered Ava & Milo for each of our kids, respectively, until we chose to go in a different direction.

Which I guess means that not all celebribaby names are completely unusual. Levi, Gulliver, Truman, Rafferty: these are really pretty cool. Intellectual-chic. Any one of them could also be the lead-singer of a rock band. And some celebribaby names are just downright sweet: Violet Affleck and William Huckleberry Paisley are a couple of my favorites.

I think it’s easy to make jokes about this topic because the celebrity moms & dads out there have complete control in deciding what to name their children. So when they go the nutty route, it’s like an invitation for us to laugh a little incredulously. Right? Tell me I’m not the only one!

For more on the topic, or to see other notable celebribaby name choices, check out:

Recent Starbaby Names at The Baby Name Bible

Celebrity Baby Names Blog (one of many!)

a little off-topic, but fun just the same (a great gift idea!)

Coco Arquette’s imdb page! (for real)

Do you pay attention to what celebrities name their kids? Have you named your child the same thing as a celebribaby, either on purpose or by coincidence? Which ones are your favorites, and which names make you say, “They named him/her what?!”? Happy weekend, and for good measure, be sure to share what your kid’s name could be, using either the Arquette or Lee formulas!