The Mom Crowd

 March is a big month for your contributors at The Mom Crowd: Amanda, our founder, just had her second child, and McKenna is going to Eastern Europe for the first time to meet her new daughter (for the first time!)  When Amanda asked for guest posters to step in and share their wisdom, the response was phenomenal.  Keep coming back to The Mom Crowd every day for fabulous information, tips, stories, and inspiration!

Trina is a busy married (but single!) parent:  she takes care of her two year old and her beagle Gidgett, and gives support to her now-overseas husband.  After all that, she still has time to read her favorite blog, The Mom Crowd.

Once upon a time, I got married, had a rough-but-good pregnancy, experienced beautiful labor and welcomed a little girl into the world with my husband of 2 years.  We had plans of watching her grow together.  My husband could not wait to hold his little girl.  Fast forward 16 months:  I am a single mom.  No, I did not get divorced.  My husband in the United States Air Force and is currently deployed for a year in the war.  Gone are the days of “Honey, can you please change the baby?” and “I need a free day – can you watch her?”

When my husband left for the war in August, our daughter had just turned 18 months old.  At the time, I had no idea how much work it actually was being a Single Parent.  There are many nights where I crawl into bed un-showered and in the same clothes from the day before. To say the least, it’s been an interesting adventure for my daughter and me. 

My favorite single parent moment (when it finally hit me I was all alone) was when my daughter was very sick with a stomach flu.  She has tendency to always throw up on me.   This time, she spewed all over me, herself, the dog and anything else in her way.  After picking the vomit out of my eyes so I could see, I headed to the shower, still dressed, with baby in arms.  We stood under the running water until no trace of the sickness remained.  

Remembering all of my many single mom stories makes me laugh now.  I also feel blessed to have this special time with my daughter.  This might sounds selfish, but I will never have this alone time with her again.  It has made our relationship stronger.  My single-mom days have also made me a better mother for my daughter and for any other child we have in the future.

It has now been 6 ½ months since my husband was deployed, and life is going well. The holidays have passed, and Daddy will soon be home for his R&R.  He gets to be home for 14 days and then back to war for another 7 months.  Though we can’t wait to see him, my biggest concern will be fitting him back into our life and routine.  My daughter and I have a schedule and do our own thing.  It has been a long time since I have had to take into consideration what my other half might have planned!  Since this is such a short trip, I am considering letting the schedule go (a little) and just go with the flow.  I am also aware that Daddy does not understand how much work at 2 year old is! 

Through this experience, I have developed a new respect for all single parents. No matter what your situation is, you deserve an award for all you do for your children.  Hang in there!

Are you a single parent?  What kinds of challenges do you face?  What strategies have you found to help you get through your days?  How do you strive to keep a positive outlook?

One of my friends, a mother of two, recently posted on her blog about how she was inspired by a book entitled Not Quite What I Was Expecting: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure.  You simply write a statement about life in six words.  My friend decided to do several about motherhood.  Here are a couple:

No thanks. I’m good with two.

When do I get adult conversation?

I thought it would be a fun exercise for myself (and for you!) to try cranking out a few of these before we jump into the weekend.  Here I go, and these are completely off-the-cuff:

Lucy is such a cute name.

When will he quit his pacifier?

My little boy’s initials spell “EAR”.

Time goes quickly when they’re tiny.

I’ll blink and she’s in college.

Hand-me-downs are great for small budgets.

Thank God for Target’s red stickers.

Potty-training is my least favorite part.

I should go to bed early.

Wow.  I’ve gotta say, once you get going, it’s hard to stop!  This would be a fun little activity for a baby shower (but then, I was an English teacher, so maybe I’m just a nerd.) Care to add your own?  Hit comment and have at it! 

Last Friday I shared my grocery shopping philosophy and I wanted to know how you shopped and budgeted for groceries. We had a great discussion in the comments.

Amelia asked if everyone includes household items like cleaning supplies and diapers in your grocery budget.  Most everyone that commented does include all household items in the grocery budget. There was also a discussion on whether or not gas should be included. I like to keep our gas separate, so I can track my spending better.

Heidi asked if anyone had any experience using a Food Saver (a vacuum sealing kit). Trina thinks that as long as you put the effort behind it and remember what you have in the freezer then they really do save you money.

How much should you spend on groceries?

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The New Year is a great time to reflect on 2008 and set goals for 2009. But why should we add more pressure to our lives by setting goals that we may or may not obtain? Goal setting helps you focus your energy and set your priorities. You take control of your actions and time, rather than letting time and money slip through your hands wondering where it all went at the end of the year.

Accomplishing goals boosts your self-confidence and gives you a ton of motivation to make your life better. Even if you are satisfied with how your life is going, setting a goal and the challenge of seeing if you can meet them is incredibly motivating and enjoyable.

The key to taking pride in meeting your goals is to set SMART goals. Don’t just throw random resolutions into the void hoping that they will somehow be met. Create goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely.

One goal that my husband set for himself was to read one non-fiction book a month for the entire year.  He could have said, “I would like to read more non-fiction books this year,” but how would he have known if he met it?  His goal is SMART.

The goal: To read one non-fiction book a month for the entire year.

specific: one non-fiction book
measurable: one book a month for the year
attainable: challenging to find time to read, but not too far from reach
realistic: reading non-fiction isn’t a chore for him
timely: there is a timeframe for his goal.

On New Year’s Day last year my husband and I found a family member to babysit our baby while we went out to lunch and discussed our goals for the year. We will probably do the same this year. We set goals as a family and separately as individuals.

Sharing our goals with each other brings us closer together in our marriage. He also holds me accountable for mine, but only if I ask to hold me accountable! Conversely I don’t nag him either. It is just a fun exercise to even express our goals and dream out loud to each other. We like to set goals for different categories such as physical, financial, spiritual, social and intellectual.

Over the next three days I am going to post ideas for SMART goals in the financial, physical, and intellectual categories. I hope you come back and join me as we discuss our goals in these three areas!

As many of you know, our family is adopting a child through Reece’s Rainbow and a while ago, The Mom Crowd hosted a raffle to help bring another child from Reece’s Rainbow home.  You can catch up with this beautiful family and their new daughter, Addison {AKA: Nika} at their family blog.  Is that enough “hyperlinking” for ya?

I wanted to take a moment to share with you about Reece’s Rainbow and their mission.  Reece’s Rainbow is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to raise awareness regarding the plight of children with Down syndrome in foreign orphanages and their availability to be adopted, to raise adoption grants for waiting children, to seek out adoptive families for these children, to help adopting families during their adoption process with fund raising opportunities and paperwork assistance {and emotional support-I threw that one in!}, to provide humanitarian aid to foreign orphanages, to facilitate support groups for birth parents of children with Down syndrome to help decrease the number of children placed in orphanages, and to enact social change abroad about children with Down syndrome and other special needs through the testimony of adoption.

In 2006, Reece’s Rainbow expanded from an outreach program for families with children with Down syndrome in Atlanta to an organization promoting international adoption of children with Down syndrome.   In the short two years since beginning this new focus, over 120 children with Down syndrome and other special needs have found forever families with the help of Reece’s Rainbow. As of June 2008, they have dispersed over $86,000 to adopting families and have waiting children with substantial grants ready for their prospective parents.  Many orphans around the world are not receiving adequate nutrition and health care.  In Eastern European and other countries, orphans with Down syndrome are commonly transferred to mental institutions if they are not adopted by the age of four. After they are transferred, most die within the first year from lack of basic care.

There is a special way you can help Reece’s Rainbow fulfill their mission.  Every year, Reece’s Rainbow hosts a Christmas Angel Tree Project.  Right now, you can see every child with Down syndrome waiting for a family through Reece’s Rainbow and sponsor one or more of them for Christmas.  With every $35 donation, you will receive a special ornament with a picture of the child you are sponsoring for Christmas.  Will you consider sponsoring an orphan with Down syndrome this Christmas?  In order to receive an ornament, donations must be received by December 15th.  Please visit their site today and help bring an orphan home for Christmas!