The Mom Crowd

At a recent dinner party I attended the husbands were lovingly razzing us Stay at Homes Moms, because we only call them at work to see if we can spend fifteen bucks at Target. One husband wondered out loud how a mom who “stays home” could use so much gas in one week. The wives and I retorted that they should be thankful for having such low maintenance wives and how in the big picture we barely spend money.

One mom and I realized that we don’t even wash our face with proper face wash, because we are so cheap. So this got me thinking about what other things make us frugal mamas.

Here are 10 signs that you might be a Frugal Mama:

1. You wear the same three pair of blue jeans over and over.

2. You love the little red stickers at Target.

3. You buy Easter and Christmas dresses for the next year on clearance the year before.

4. You check the Baby+Kids section of Craigslist everyday looking for deals.

5. You are up early on Saturday mornings hitting the sales in front yards.

6. You talk yourself out of buying the items you picked up while standing in the checkout line.

7. You brag about what you saved in coupons and sales after every trip to the grocery store.

8. You haven’t had a hair cut in six months.

9. You love the challenge of coming in under budget.

10. You don’t buy toys, because you wait for family and friends to buy them for you.

What makes you a Frugal Mama?

- photo courtesy of iChris.

This has been going around lately on blogs & such, and I couldn’t resist sharing it here.

Have you seen this?  What are your feelings after reading it?

3.31.09. Today is the first ever “Spread the Word to End the Word!” I am excited to celebrate this awesome day with all of The Mom Crowd readers! As you know, the word “retard” is abused and misused by so many people. Most people use the r-word as slang or tongue in cheek, however, it is disparaging and hurtful to the millions of people with intellectual disabilities, their friends, and their families.

Spread the Word to End the Word is a campaign created by young people with and without intellectual disabilities to create a societal taboo on the r-word. The Special Olympics and John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox on Scrubs) are endorsing and publicly representing this campaign. Rallies are being held in work places, high schools, middle schools, elementary schools, and colleges around the world. The state of Delaware will be asking all 40,000 high school students to pledge to not use the r-word in their vocabulary.

I challenge you to not just roll your eyes thinking this is yet another political correctness movement. I challenge you to hear the words of those with intellectual disabilities, their friends and their families. I challenge you to remove the word from your language that destroys the dignity of so many individuals in our world. I challenge you to “Spread the Word to END the Word” today and tomorrow and the days to come!!!

Any mother would be proud to be Soeren Palumbo’s mom! This kid has defined why the r-word is so offensive. I hope you will watch this high school student’s amazing speech!

I will close this with a personal message from Dr. Cox err…John C. McGinley:

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Danelle “Barbi” Ice is a problogger and the founder/editor of HomemakerBarbi.com, an online Home & How-To magazine with free resources specializing in homemaking, parenting, frugal living, and family life.  If you liked this article, visit Homemaker Barbi!

New moms wonder about a lot of things as they experience pregnancy, from losing baby weight to pregnant body image.  What you’re most curious about – the weird, funny questions and deep, dark feelings – are what we’re not afraid to talk about.  If you missed yesterday’s 6 truths about pregnancy and motherhood, go read it first.

Below, we’re giving you 6 more truths you don’t have to wonder about anymore!

1.  It’s okay to wear your maternity clothes before you need them just so people will know you’re pregnant.  It’s completely normal to wish you were showing the day you find out the news!  Before you start to show, you walk around feeling different and pregnant, but to the rest of the world you look exactly the same.  If you’re excited for your new maternity clothes and really want people to know your news, by all means – pack away your pre-pregnancy clothes and go maternity now.

2.  Pregnancy tees with funny sayings are A-OK!  Celebrities are wearing them these days, even dads are wearing them.  Shirts that have funny pictures and sayings about pregnancy are all the rage.  2chix.com has “Bun in the oven”, “What’s kickin?”, “It’s a girl”, “Pregzilla”, “You had me at epidural”, and the list goes on and on.  More and more moms want to show off their pregnancies with baby bump t-shirts that advertise the joyous news.  Will you get weird looks and comments from some childless people?  Yes, but who cares!  Enjoy your pregnancy any way you want to – these shirts are a definite “Do”!

3.  Be balanced about baby talk or risk burning out others.  While some husbands and relatives will be just as consumed with thinking about and talking about the baby as you are, keep a balance.  The baby is in you, growing, moving, changing your habits, and with you everywhere you go, every minute.  It’s natural that your thinking will be focused on baby-related talk much of the time.

Please keep this in mind: your husband, friends, and family members are excited about the baby too, but they still love the pre-pregnancy you as well.  It doesn’t have to be baby talk 24/7!  Every once in a while, it’s okay to call up girlfriends and chat about this week’s episode of Lost.  Have a romantic dinner date with your hubby in which you talk about dreams, stories, and interests not centered on the baby.  You can still be the woman he fell in love with, dreams about, and lusts after too – not shifted into the role of mommy and baby-maker 100% of the time!

4.  Breastfeeding is not for every mom.  If you can’t breastfeed, don’t feel guilty.  If you don’t want to, don’t feel bad.  Own your decision and do not listen to unsolicited recommendations from your friends or family.  The decision to breastfeed or not is yours alone; it’s your body and only you have to feel comfortable with what you do.

5.  Not every woman adjusts to motherhood quickly after her first baby is born.  Some women shift into “mommy mode” during pregnancy.  However, others may still not be used to their new role for several months after giving birth.  Give it time and don’t feel bad if it doesn’t come to you naturally right away.  Your new role is a major life change, and it will grow on you with time and experience, so don’t worry!

6.  It is natural to be proud of your pregnant body one minute, and self-conscious the next.  If you’re 7 months pregnant, feel as big as a house (I did), and uncomfortable, it’s hard to feel beautiful and attractive 100% of the time.  Your thoughts may vary wildly, from proud and wanting to show off that baby bump to wishing for your skinny pre-pregnancy body back.

When I was pregnant, I could walk through a store feeling big and proud, until I saw a beautiful (non-pregnant) woman walk by, wearing a stylish (non-maternity) outfit.  Instantly, I’d have a desperate longing for my regular body back, I’d feel large and un-pretty, and feel a little out of place.

While not enjoyable, this body image flip-flop is completely normal!  Your body image in your mind is the picture of how you envision yourself.  For most of us, that picture is how we’ve looked for most of our lives, not the way we look now that we’re pregnant.  It can be hard for the brain to reconcile the discrepancy between those two images during pregnancy.  Focus on the end result: a beautiful baby, an addition to your family, and your non-pregnant body back when it’s all said and done!

If you liked the 12 pregnancy truths, be sure to subscribe to Homemaker Barbi’s RSS feed and The Mom Crowd’s RSS feed for more articles about motherhood!

Photo courtesy of stock.exchange. 

Danelle “Barbi” Ice is a problogger and the founder/editor of HomemakerBarbi.com, an online Home & How-To magazine with free resources specializing in homemaking, parenting, frugal living, and family life.  If you liked this article, visit Homemaker Barbi!

Pregnancy is an exciting time of change and anticipation, and many of us expecting mamas start reading every pregnancy book, magazine and website available!  New moms want advice, knowledge, and the security of others’ experiences to know that what we’re feeling is normal, even if this isn’t your first baby.

There are plenty of things you may wonder about at some time during the 9 months, however, that you won’t read about in books. We’re giving it to you straight:  6 truths about pregnancy and motherhood that nobody tells you.

1.  You do not have to (and probably won’t) lose your baby weight immediately.  We’ve all heard the cliché: It took you 9 months to gain the weight, and you can’t lose it overnight.  This saying is a cliché because although we may not like it, these words are true!  It is not good to jump into hardcore exercise right after birth, especially if you did not maintain a high level of physical exertion during your pregnancy.  Take it easy and start slowly.

With the changes your body had just gone through in the birthing process, your top health priorities are rest, recovery, and adjustment.  Your blood volume will decrease, your organs will shift back into place, your body will learn how to be non-pregnant again. Be patient with your body and focus on your health and wellness, not your size and weight.

2.  Even celebrities cannot lose their pregnancy weight overnight.  Of course we see them on the magazine covers 6 weeks after birth looking Oscar-fabulous, but remember that their lifestyles (most times) do not mirror ours!  Our favorite stars might have nannies to help out, personal chefs to cook for them, and personal trainers to come exercise with them daily.  Even with this help, they still have to work hard at exercise and wait for their body to make its natural transitions at its own pace.

3.  Not every mother gets post partum depression (PPD).  Some women do, some women don’t, and not all of your pregnancies will be the same.  If you need help dealing with your feelings, talk to your doctor immediately.  However, if you don’t get PPD, just count your lucky stars! Always be understanding that other moms may be going through post-pregnancy feelings you didn’t, and that’s okay too.

4.  Not every mother enjoys pregnancy.  For some women, pregnancy is an incredibly taxing physical experience.  Some moms have excessive headaches or prominent morning sickness.  Pregnancy is hard work and a very difficult transition for your body and mind to make.  If you don’t enjoy being pregnant due to these or other circumstances, don’t feel guilty.  It’s okay if you don’t feel happy and glowing every day.  Just focus on the good aspects, do the best you can, and take care of your body and your baby!

5.  Sometimes it’s better to keep your baby name choices private.  When you and your partner have chosen names that you love and are ready to pass on to your children for their entire lives, it can be very disheartening to hear comments to the contrary.  It is not unheard of for friends, family members, or even complete strangers to ask if you’ve chosen names and then tell you why those names are bad!  It may defy common-sense, but I was told the name I chose for my son was weird, ugly, icky, old, hard to spell, bizarre, and that “I should come up with something better”.  And if that isn’t bad enough, it’s my husband’s middle name!  Sometimes, relatives and in-laws can even argue about which family names should be used.

Since name choices are personal and something you should be able to feel good about (without receiving any inappropriate or insensitive comments), it’s okay to keep these private between you and your spouse and children.  How do you politely decline to answer when someone asks if you’ve decided on names yet? Simply say, “We haven’t decided for sure yet. We still have plenty of time.”

6.  It’s okay to tell everyone you’re pregnant as soon as you find out!  Finding out that you’re expecting is exciting.  After all, that news changes your life forever and tells you that you’re about to experience an exciting 9 months as you and your spouse wait to meet the fruits of your love.  Talk about anticipation!  While some OB/GYNs and pregnancy books advise not to share the news until you’re out of the first trimester (due to the higher risk of miscarriage in the early months), you should do what feels right to you.

Be sure to come back tomorrow for the sequel, 6 MORE Truths about Pregnancy and Motherhood that Nobody Tells You!