The Mom Crowd

I have been friends with Sara and her family for several years. Living in a military town, I meet a lot of people who are serving our country, and unfortunately have to say goodbye to a lot of friends as the military moves them to other parts of the country. Sara’s husband, Josh is active duty Army and currently deployed in Iraq. They have three young boys. Sara has the most positive attitude and such a gentle spirit. She’s a tiny little thing, but she has her boys in order! Sara, thank you so much for writing this post for us and giving us an insider’s view on being a military spouse!

It’s been just over 3 months since Josh left. The Army says we have approx 12 more months to go. At times it doesn’t even feel like he has been gone for 3 months. Then you have those days where it seems like time is standing still. But you can’t get caught up in the number of days, weeks, or months. Once you start focusing on how many days you have left or how many days you have been apart you can quickly fall into despair. You just have to take it one day at a time and remember it’s only time.

Everyone who is not military always ask “How do you do it?” I have thought about this question time and time again and the only answer I can say is “By the grace of God.” There is nothing you can do to prepare yourself for a 15 month deployment without your husband, best friend and spiritual partner. You have to have total trust in God to get you through the time. Being a military wife has its set of challenges. But the way I look at it is who truly does not have their own problems? Even though we are separated and I have now become both mom and dad, I know there are those people who have it worse than us. For the most part we have been truly blessed.

Trust me I have those days when I feel like I am getting pulled in 20 different directions (okay I have actually quite a few of those days). Like when we have been sick in this house for what is going on 3 months. With three small children someone is ALWAYS sick. I myself have been ill with strep throat twice! Literally one week after Josh left, everything hit us. This is where your “family care plan” comes into action as the military would say. When you are 1800 miles away from home you soon realize your friends and neighbors are now your family. These are the people you learn to count on when your son’s bike breaks, you hear a noise in the front end of your car, or you are trying to hang your Christmas lights. While you learn to help each other out you also have to be independent. You will not last a month if you can not manage a household on your own. Another important quality you must have is multitasking. This is where it pays to be a mom. We are the best at multitasking. We can cook dinner, hold a baby, and cut coupons all at the same time.

Being a military wife definitely has its good side. I am very proud to say I am a military wife. Not everyone is cut out to be one. When the 15 months is over and you see your husband again for the first time it’s like falling in love all over again. You get the butterflies in your stomach and your heart drops to the floor. You definitely learn to appreciate one another during each deployment. If you can get through 15 months of deployment you know your marriage can pretty much survive anything.

I really am enjoying all of our guest bloggers this week! Our next guest blogger is Kristi Davis. Kristi has two beautiful children and is a certified personal trainer. She has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to fitness and nutrition! It is refreshing to hear some great advice from someone who is so down to earth and practical. I am very glad she agreed to share some of her knowledge with some of us who desperately need some help in this area.

Women are often many things to many people. You play the role of mother, daughter, student, wife, sister, employee, housekeeper, etc. It is so important that you take care of your mind, body, and spirit through good nutrition and exercise so that you can be there to take care of the people you love. Sometimes women feel guilty about putting
themselves first. They have a tendency to feel selfish. There is no need to feel guilty or selfish about spending time in the gym. After you get that workout in you will have so much more energy for the rest of the day. You will most likely be more productive and in a better mood than you would be if you skipped your workout. Another reason women put off exercise is because they don’t think they have the time it takes to workout. In reality we don’t need to take much time out from our day to get in an effective workout.

I recommend one hour of exercise 4-5 days a week. There are 24 hours in one day
and all you need is one of them. You are worth one hour! You might be wondering how you can get a total body workout in one hour. The answer is a combination of cardio and total body exercises using the weights and stability ball. Here is the plan below.

1) Warm up 3 minutes on the elliptical, bike, stair climber, treadmill, or whichever type of cardio equipment you choose.

2) Continue to do your cardio. Alternate 2 minutes fast pace, 1 minute of recovery. Then minutes incline or resistance, with 1-minute recovery. If you are on the treadmill you can vary this further with 2 minutes jogging, one minute walking, or 2 minutes sprinting 1-minute recovery. This is a cardio interval type of workout and burns more
calories than going one set pace on the equipment. Go for 27-28 minutes. Cool down 2-3 minutes.

3) Next you want to get the best bang for your buck when it comes to strength training. You need to do exercises that target large groups of muscles. Squats and lunges with a body bar (optional) are two of the best moves you can do for your legs. You can do 3 sets of 12. Rest in between sets. After you complete your sets try 3 sets of 12 push-ups. You can do them on your knees or on the stability ball. The push-ups target your core, chest, and triceps. Do you have a bosu ball at your gym? It looks like half a stability ball with a base. Try doing your bicep curls on the bosu. This will tone your biceps and your core. You can also work your triceps on the bosu. If your gym doesn’t have one or you are working from home try balancing on one leg while you lift the weights. Remember to keep your knees soft, core tight (suck in your stomach), shoulders back, back straight, and breathe while you are lifting weights.

4) The final exercises will be for your abs. The bicycle is the most effective abdominal exercise. To do this exercise start by laying on your back. You will then take your shoulders off the ground; chin faces up towards the sky, place your hands behind your head for support (don’t lace your fingers together) take your right shoulder up and across your body to meet your left leg. At the same time bring that left leg in towards your chest. Return to start and do the exact thing on the other side. Do 3 sets of 30 seconds. Finish your abs with some basic crunches on the stability ball (more effective than on the floor).

5) Stretch! This is the most important step and most people forget it. Stretching prevents injury, increases flexibility, and helps prevent sore muscles. Stretch out every muscle you worked with basic stretches. Breathe deeply as you stretch. Relax and don’t tense your muscles or allow them to bounce. Hold the stretches for 20 seconds.

You are done! You now have the energy to take your kids to the park or fold that mountain of laundry you have been avoiding all week.

Also, if you don’t have a gym membership you can do most of these exercises from your home. All you need are some good sidewalks, a park, or if you’re lucky enough home exercise equipment, a pair of light weights, and a stability ball. You can buy the stability balls at Wal-Mart and Target for around $20.00.

Lastly, if you only have 30 minutes to exercise choose with the cardio interval program. If you plan on working out again in the next 24 hours don’t work the same muscle groups. You need to give them a rest (abs excluded). You can do your cardio but you need to avoid doing the cardio intervals on back-to-back days. You can also opt to work different muscle groups like the shoulders, back, inner-thigh, and outer-thigh.

Kristi Davis
Certified Personal Trainer

Do you have any time saving exercising tips of your own?

I recently went to a baby shower and they asked everyone to write a piece of advice for the soon-to-be-mom. I wrote, “Trust your instincts.”

This was the best piece of advice that I received. Two weeks after I brought Ace home I tried Baby Wise for two days and I was in tears at the end of the second night. Daniel and I were discussing our next steps and he told me to trust my instincts, because he said that deep down I knew what Ace needed. That advice lifted all the guilt I had from not being able to live up to certain standards. I was now able to set my own standards, it was freeing. So now every time I am asked to give advice to new moms I was always say, “Trust your instincts!”

What is the best piece of advice that you have received?

Ace is six months old. I am still learning how to balance taking care of her and the house during the day. I could get things done while she naps, but then I end up either napping myself or justify taking a break. I sometimes think I will fold that basket of laundry after I lay her to bed, but then I usually get distracted.

Maybe getting the house in order is low on my priority list. I am home now and I don’t feel like I am living up to that part of the job. Is managing the house part of the job?

At the end of the day, Ace is great. She is fed and taken care of. Does staying home and managing the household get easier when they get older?

Does balancing the house and taking care of a baby depend on your cleaning and organization style? If I liked to clean, would I be more motivated to get it done? If my husband was more worried about the house would I be more motivated to get laundry/organized/dishes done?

I don’t expect all of these to be answered. Do you have any thoughts? If you stay home, what was it like when you first started?

P.S. I have written about this before. I guess I am still struggling with it. This is what came to mind when I thought about writing.

Often times the amazing things that we do as moms don’t make national
headlines. Sometimes our small accomplishments make the headlines at
our dinner tables and sometimes they go unnoticed. So here is your
chance to toot your own horn. Go on toot it! Let’s celebrate our
small victories together.

What did you do today that made you an amazing mom?

I’ll start:

I vacuumed the living room today. Now when my daughter rolls around
on the floor she doesn’t get cat hair and fuzz all over her drool
covered face. I have been wanting to do this forever. I am so glad it
is done!

Your turn…