The Mom Crowd

Have you ever been sitting on the floor playing with your little one and felt bored or lonely? I know I have. I consider myself an outgoing person. I have plenty of friends. My husband is even a work at home dad and I still get lonely and bored at home.

I know I can call my friends and set something up. We have to coordinate naps and schedules and let the stars align. Also, on a selfish level I struggle with the thoughts “I always initiate,” and “Why can’t someone call me for once?” Whenever a friend does ask me for a play date I always try to say yes just because I am so happy they asked.

When I first came home I coordinated a mass play date with almost every stay at home mom I knew. It seemed to go okay but no one really seemed interested in continuing the group, so I didn’t try to keep it going.

The internet and blogs keep me going everyday. I am so thankful for having a blog to share my thoughts on parenting and to meet other moms. However, there is still something about seeing a friend or anyone in real life that meets a need on a different level. The grocery clerks that know my daughter by name don’t count.

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I’ve just got to start by saying how proud I am of McKenna and Amanda (and her talented hubby!) for producing the most excellent first episode of The Mom Crowd Show. In case you missed it, the grand debut was yesterday, and you can catch it by clicking here. I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I can’t wait to see more! And I am honored to be a part of this blogging crew.

Now, onto another reason I feel proud.

After two pregnancies, a stressful move from one part of the country to another, and hundreds of boxes of Cheez-Its, I was bigger than I had ever been. For many months, I was just too tired and stressed out to worry about it. Come last December, though, two things happened that inspired me to action: the annual Rocket City Marathon came running through my city – heck, my neighborhood! – and a friend of mine in Texas had just completed her first half-marathon. As I watched the runners push themselves and as I read my friend’s awesome account of her marathon experience, I found myself saying aloud, “I’d like to do something like that sometime.”

And I realized that there was no time like the present. I was new in town. I didn’t have a lot of money for entertainment. My phone wasn’t exactly ringing off the hook with social opportunities. I needed to lose some weight. And I needed a self-confidence builder. Enter my new, free hobby: running. I’d never really done it before. But I knew I had to give it a try. We have a treadmill at home, so there really was no excuse!

I started off slowly, with my friend Jan’s coaching. She made me a running calendar to follow, which I did, faithfully, for about ten weeks. I was feeling great, and the pounds were coming off. The psychological benefits were the most rewarding: I felt as though I was the most beautiful mom in the world. And frankly, it’d been a very long time since I’d come anywhere close to thinking something like that.

In mid-February, I realized that our family could not handle the sacrifice of scheduling that’s required of marathon runners. The runs were at least an hour long at that point. I knew I could keep up with it physically, but time-wise, we couldn’t fit it in, unless I got up before the kids (and yeah, that’s not gonna happen.) I knew I was going to have to suspend my marathon running goal, and I was okay with that.

I decided to focus on 5 and 10Ks (3.1 and 6.2 miles, respectively) from that point on. Right around that time, McKenna posted about running her own 5K race, and it was so fun and encouraging to read about her and other moms go for it. I kept at it, and McKenna was a great encouragement to me!

Ultimately, I chose to make my race debut a 5K, and I’m glad I did. I set a goal for myself and made it happen. It was an important accomplishment for me. (You can catch my take on the race at my personal blog.) My husband and the kids have been cheering me on from day one, and Lucy has watched me train day in and day out for the past several months. As soon as the sneakers come on, she asks, “Mommy exercising?” It makes me proud that she sees me do this on a regular basis. (The Cheez-It consumption, on the other hand, I manage to keep hidden from her! )

Why is this relevant to a mommy blog? Many of you may in the same boat that I was: lonely, bored, physically latent. I’d just like to say, if you have a desire to do something like this, go for it. As my friend Jan told me, “If I can do it, anyone can.” If it is possible, ask your husband, friend, or family member to watch the kids while you run for 30 minutes. It ultimately benefits everyone, because as we all know, if Mommy’s happy, the whole family is happy. And exercise is a great booster!

Most of all, when we get bogged down in the day-to-day mom grind, it can be easy to overlook doing things for ourselves. (I should know. I don’t even brush my hair now when I get out of the shower. Ha ha! Up, up, up it goes when it’s still wet.) Finding something that makes you happy and challenges you physically and mentally is great for your self-esteem. And the pride and confidence from your accomplishments is visible to the kids; they recognize it and appreciate it!

Have a great weekend, and do something that’s good for you!

I used wonder why first birthday parties were such a big deal. The party is really for the parents, right? Now I understand that the first birthday party is a celebration of life bringing friends and family together. The party marks a milestone of surviving the difficult first year for both the little one and the parents.

Our celebration turned out wonderful. I love party planning and helping everyone have a great time. Here’s a few keys that I’ve found that will help make your first (or any) birthday party a success:

• 1. Consider your child’s nap times when scheduling the time of the party. Plan the party around your child’s nap times so they will be happy when it is time to start. We started our party at 4:00 p.m. This allowed Ace to get two naps in during the day and all the kids that attended could eat dinner at the party and be home by bedtime.

• 2. Every first birthday party must have cake! The theme of our party was flowers, so my husband made two cakes in the shape of a flower. We bought a cake flower pan at Hobby Lobby and used boxed cake mix. We didn’t have time to make a special small cake for Ace so I just cut off one of the petals for her to dig into. No one cared that she didn’t have a special cake to herself.

• 3. Play fun party music! The key is not to play what you like, but what will get the party going. Just because I like alternative-folk music doesn’t mean that everyone else likes it. Nor does it make for a fun party atmosphere. We hooked up my husband’s laptop to a receiver which connected to a pair of large speakers and played music from Internet radio through iTunes. We placed the speakers outside an open window in the backyard so it could be heard both inside and out.

• 4. Have activities for all ages. We set out toys inside the house for the little ones. In the backyard we had horseshoes and a game called Washers for older kids and adults. All these games were borrowed so we didn’t have to spend a dime!

• 5. If you are serving food have it ready near the beginning of the party. This is one of my personal pet peeves. If I know that a party is serving food I usually arrive hungry and ready to eat. I don’t want to wait an hour while you fire up the grill. Serving food at the beginning of the party usually makes everyone happy.

• 6. Have someone else take pictures for you. I am so thankful for my friend Kara who got some amazing shots. I was free to mingle and take care of Ace while she digitally recorded the special day for us.

• 7. Have plenty of seating. I didn’t want my guests trying to cut their brisket served on a paper plate in their laps. I borrowed a couple of extra tables and chairs for the back yard. I covered them with plastic table clothes bought at the dollar store for 99 cents each.

• 8. Clean your entire house the week prior. I know this may seem like a daunting task, but it is worth it. I am much more calm and clear-minded when my house is clean. I never stressed if a guest wandered into a room with a closed door. A few guests used the guest bedroom to change and I was thankful that I had picked up that room.

• 9. Cut the cake at least halfway or two-thirds into the party so people can feel free to leave. Everyone wants to see the little one take their first bite of pure sugar cake, so don’t make them wait too long!

• 10. Open presents at the end of the party. Opening presents can take a long time, so it is best to do it after the cake. The people who wanted to see the gifts stayed and had a great time.

• 11. Make a slideshow of photos to play on the T.V. I put a bunch of photos on my ipod and hooked my ipod to the T.V. You can also make a video of photos and burn it to a DVD. Or you could connect your computer to the television and play a slide show. Many people wandered into the living room and watched the entire show. The party guests enjoyed seeing themselves in the slideshow. It is a great way to celebrate your little one’s first year of life.

• 12. Enlist help to set up before the party. You cannot set up all by yourself. Have a friend or relative come early and help. I am seriously thankful for the folks that helped me.

• 13. Carefully plan the food set up and flow of traffic before the party. Spending a few minutes to think about where the plates, food, and drinks go will help keep people moving through the kitchen and clear any traffic jams.

• 14. Place cheerios and goldfish out for the little ones. They will appreciate the snack just for them. The cheerios were a big hit at our party.

• 15. Have the washtub and a back up outfit ready. Ace got a quick bath to rinse off the icing and she got to wear two super cute dresses to her party. It was handy knowing I had a back up in case the first got covered in cake.

• 16. Don’t make people feel obligated to stay more than two hours. I really like to respect people’s time and they appreciate it too. If people want to stay they will stay, but I think a party is much more fun if it doesn’t drag out the whole day.

• 17. If you have a party at lunchtime or dinner then you should serve food. If you are just going to serve cake and snacks have it mid-morning or mid-afternoon. I think guests will be hungry if you have the party around a usual meal time.

• 18. Save money and time by serving lemonade and tea made from instant powder. I spent about fifteen bucks for the drinks and cups for fifty people. It was a lot cheaper than serving sodas! Honestly, the instant tea wasn’t that bad.

• 19. Don’t stress if everything isn’t perfect or you forgot something. The party will go on and everything works out. The focus is on your family and the new little one, not that you ran out of cups.

• 20. Be in the moment. Once the party is going – enjoy it! Don’t forget to eat, mingle, and be proud of your accomplishment – your family has survived the first year!

Did you have a large first birthday celebration? How did it go? Do you have party pet peeves or any rules that you usually follow when you host? Do you have any money saving tips for parties?

I hope you are honored some small way this Mother’s Day! I have only been a mom for exactly one year, but this has been the proudest year of my life. I mentioned earlier this week that I enjoy creative writing. I got a few minutes to myself tonight at Barnes and Nobles and I wrote this poem for Mother’s Day. (Of course WordPress doesn’t like my cool formatting, so it took out my extra spaces.) I hope it inspires you to blog or journal some your favorite sounds, sights, touches, tastes, and smells of being a mom.

The Five Senses of Being a Mom

Hearing you laugh
when you wake in your crib
Singing in my ears
“Mama” and “Dada”
Listening to cabinet doors open
and all the Tupperware thumping to the floor
Knowing all your toy songs by heart
“One giraffe has spots all over him…”
Discerning all your cries
and knowing exactly what you need

Snacking on your tiny toes
Mashing bananas in oatmeal
Retrieving tree bark and petrified bread pieces
from your little mouth
Taking away your joy of eating
my black flip flops
Introducing you to avocado, butternut squash
and asparagus
Delighting in cheerios
lined around the coffee table

Smelling lavender and soap bubbles
lulling you to sleep
Catching the smell of roses and star-gazers
in the bright delivery room
Transitioning to solids
brings a whole new aroma to the room
Folding fresh miniature shirts and shorts
wafting of Spring mountain breeze
Rubbing my nose in your round
baby-fresh belly

Seeing your swaddled petite body
placed on my chest
Gazing into your beautiful brown eyes
Catching my breath every time
I see your first steps
Staring at you in my arms
all day long
Walking into the nursery
and seeing you stand up for the first time
Watching you grow and develop
in leaps and bounds

Cradling my sweet baby in my arms
Pressing my finger
into your tiny fisted hand
Squeezing your plump thighs
in my gentle grip
Holding your hand
as you walk across the room
Swinging you up in my arms
and kissing you all over

As I indicated a few weeks ago, I’m a big picture-taker, and I have been my entire life. Strangely enough, I never took any formal photography classes in high school or college (and now I’m kicking myself for it.) I’ve taken a couple of community courses in the past few years and have been employing some of the things I learned ever since. That said, let me be clear: I take pictures for fun. I edit and print my photos based on what appeals to me, not necessarily what is “good photography”. I really have no mind for the science of photography and rely mostly on the auto features on my cameras. And I am totally aware that there is a myriad of amazing mom (and mom-to-be!) photographers out there. Those of you who took the plunge and tried Best Shot Monday know what I’m talkin’ ’bout! So don’t misunderstand and think that I think I’m some kind of photography genius. Oh, no.

Here’s what I’ve learned (all from books, other blogs, and the aforementioned classes). If you’re feeling like you just can’t get a good shot of your adorable child, try some of these basics:

• Get close up! There’s nothing more boring, in my opinion, than a picture of someone who is too far away. You shouldn’t have to squint to see what facial expression the subject has. This applies to larger group shots too. How many of those do you have where it’s a sea of “heads” and you can’t really make anyone out?

• Get down to the kid’s level. A picture taken from the parents’ point of view makes the child look really small. It’s a lot more exciting to see the child right up front rather than from above. I find it’s especially effective when you’re looking “up” to the child.

• Don’t make your child pose for every picture. Some of the most interesting pictures I’ve ever seen and taken are candid. Get into the habit of shooting every expression your child ever makes and every action he/she ever does, with or without them looking at the camera.

• Avoid the “say cheese!” routine. Those tend to yield the most unintentionally-lame smiles the kids muster. I’ve found that cracking a joke or doing something funny gets those natural smiles out quickly. This is easier to do with digital cameras, too, because they’re not directly up to your face, blocking your expressions from the kids. But you gotta be fast! Lately I’ve found myself singing “Head, shoulders, knees & toes” to Lucy to get a real smile out of her when I take pictures.

• Crop out whatever is distracting, unnecessary, or uninteresting. This vastly improves a picture. The idea is to fill the frame with the subject. If that’s impossible to do straight out of the camera (SOOC for you photo-philes), utilize a cropping tool in your photo software. I remember learning somewhere that it’s better to avoid using your zoom feature, and instead crop the far-away subject on your computer (the picture comes out clearer.) Here is a basic example:

Before:

After:

• It’s okay to cut off part of the subject’s head. I realized recently that I do this a lot! There are some old-school types who just can’t handle this, and that’s okay too. Whatever pleases you aesthetically should be your goal. My thought is that a good picture doesn’t have to be perfectly centered or framed. Here’s another post from Shutter Sisters on the same topic.

(I told you I do this a lot!)

•  Blurry photos aren’t necessarily bad photos.

•  Experiment with creative subjects and shoot from different angles. It’s fun to look at the “everyday” with a different perspective!

•  When shooting outdoors, have your subject wear something red. I’m not sure why, but red really pops in natural light. Here are some examples:

•  Cloudy or overcast days are best for outdoor pictures. I remember hearing somewhere that wedding photographers prefer overcast weather for outdoor shoots. Sunshine is indeed pretty; squinty faces in direct streaming sunlight are not. If it’s a blazingly sunny day, head for some shade for the people-pictures, if possible!

•  Take your camera everywhere; have it on hand at all times! I can’t stress this enough. The beauty of a digital camera is that you can take as many pictures as you want and just delete the bad ones, so take out your camera and play! You just might capture the perfect moment when you least expect to.

(As you can see, I’m a big fan of black & white and sepia tones for the classic moments!)

Some books that get these points across with lots of great examples are How To Photograph Your Baby, How to Photograph Your Family, and How To Photograph Your Life by Nick Kelsh. I like his books because they’re very easy to understand.

Other places online to find great tutorials and photographic inspiration (these people seriously put me to shame):

Shutter Sisters

Mother May I

The Land of K.A.

Momology

The Hip Momma’s Journal

Are a photography junkie like I am? Do you take scads of pictures of your children on a weekly (or daily!) basis? We’d love to see your photos. Link us to some of them in the comments section!