The Mom Crowd

Last week, our family had several days with no plans.  Pre-school was out due to fall break.  Playgroup fell through.  By Friday, the kids & I were going a bit crazy.  So I did what I don’t normally do: I packed them up for an outing, just the 3 of us.  After about 90 minutes, we were back home, and I said, “That’s why I don’t go out alone with the kids.”  At the time, I felt totally justified in this.  I mean, come on: my kids are 2 & 1.  The park is a big place, the slides are fast & scary, the threat of injuries & falls is ever-present.  I was exhausted chasing them both around.  My daughter walked right into my son’s moving swing and got cold-cocked in the face.  Cue the crying in pain.  Not ten minutes later, she had a major face-plant on the ground when trying to climb into her carseat (big ole bump & bruise to prove it).  More distress followed.  To cheer Lucy up, I took them to the library for fall craft day “for a quick minute”.  It was fun, but difficult, as many of you can attest, to help Lucy use a glue stick with my squirmy son on my lap.  (I gave him what I hope was a non-toxic marker and let him go to town on his hands.)

But after hearing what some of my friends have been up to lately (or reading their Facebook statuses, rather), I realized I am pretty much a lazy wuss.

Enter Sharon, Jenny, and Amy, my three new heroes.  Sharon lives in Israel with her family as missionaries, and she came back to the States for an extended visit while hubby remains overseas in seminary.  Jenny is traveling from San Antonio to Pittsburgh over the course of two weeks, visiting friends, with her two children in tow.  Oh, and she’s pregnant.  Amy is headed to Arizona with her family for a job relocation.  Her fourth child was born just months ago.  When they commented on their amazing itineraries, I had to ask them a few things… just in case I’m ever daring enough to venture out with my children past a five-mile radius.

Let’s start with the basic details: how many kids do you have, what are their ages, and were you traveling with your spouse? 

Sharon: I have two children, ages 4 and 1.  Although we’ve done this flight many times, this was the first one without hubby along to help.  

Jenny: I have two kids, 4 and 1, and one on the way.  No, my husband is not traveling with us on the way up; he’ll actually meet us in eastern PA (where he’s traveling solo for work) and drive home with us.

Amy: I have four children, ages 6, 4, 2 1/2 and 3 months!  Yes, I was with my husband!  (I tried a trip once with the 3 kids while I was pregnant – it was a nightmare!)

How far did you travel/are you traveling? 

Sharon: We traveled over seven THOUSAND miles!

Jenny: We will have driven over 1,700 miles when we meet up with my husband and head back home.

Amy: We are in the middle of driving from Virginia to Arizona (it’s about four days). [Editor's note: Virginia to Arizona is roughly 2,185 miles.]

What was/were the primary mode(s) of transportation?

Sharon: We flew from Israel to Houston (with a stopover in Germany), then drove from Houston to San Antonio.  Lufthansa is awesome by the way; best airline coffee I’ve ever had! 

Jenny: 2001 Honda Odyssey!

Amy: All 6 of us are riding in the comfort of our 2001 Mazda MPV (I’m pretty sure it’s the smallest mini-van out there). 

What were your worries going into this time of travel?  What steps did you take to alleviate your anxiety?

Sharon: My primary concern was keeping the kids occupied on the longer flight (10 1/2 hours in an airplane is a long time!).  I was also worried about my son wandering off in the airport (which he has done before).  So, I drilled into my son the importance of staying next to mommy and helping me take care of his baby sister.  He did beautifully!  And I tried to pack a lot of things to keep the kids entertained.  The airlines provided a pack of cards for my son, so we got to play MANY games of Go Fish.  The baby was a little bit harder.  She basically took a lot of cat naps, and I would take her to the back of the plane to crawl around when she got bored in her seat. 

Jenny: Mostly I was concerned about the kids’ antsiness and impatience during the longer stretches in the car.  So I just really made sure that we had a variety of activities to keep them busy.  We brought crayons, coloring books, dolls, books, cds, and toys.  And when all of that didn’t work, it was time to use the dvd player (and I didn’t feel one bit guilty!).  I also made sure I listened to them, and when it seemed like things were getting to be too much, we took breaks to run around and play. 

Amy: One of my biggest worries was having to travel with sick kids.  That was one reason why my last trip with the kids alone went so badly.  Two weeks before leaving, I made everyone wash their hands 50 times a day, take their vitamins, I prayed daily about it, and I wouldn’t let anyone who seemed sick near them!  Two days before we left, my 4-year old ended up with a fever and a sore throat.  Ugh!  We hit the road while “praying without ceasing” for our sick, whiny little girl.  A few hours into the trip, she perked up and was fine!  Praise God! 

Any close calls or major stress-filled moments?

Sharon: Just exhaustion.  I probably slept about two hours during a 24-hour period.  Oh, and we almost missed our plane in Germany!  Fortunately, that flight was delayed, so we made it without a problem. 

Jenny: It’s always hard to mediate a fight or change a dvd while driving, so there were a few near-misses where I had to swerve back into my own lane!

Amy: None whatsoever, unless you count getting stuck in traffic for 30 minutes in Jackson, MS, while having to pee!  I was seriously thinking about grabbing a diaper! 

What got you through the journey?

Sharon: Knowing that it was temporary. 

Jenny: Knowing that at the end of the trip, I get to see my best friends.

Amy: God did.   Admittedly, we did use the dvd player a few times.  We also had little gifts from a friend to open throughout the day.  Each gift was a little activity the kids could do to occupy them for a short time.  I also brought my manual breast pump so I could bottle-feed the baby in the car.  That way we only had to stop for food and potty breaks. 

Would you do it again?

Sharon: Well, I kind of need to, since I’ll be flying home with them in December.  But, after that… I’m waiting until they’re a little bit older! 

Jenny:  I’m only halfway through, but it’s definitely been worth it.  So that’s a yes.

Amy: Umm, not unless I had to!  It’s tough, but we do bond as a family and it’s great seeing the sights of our great country as we drive to our new home.  Maybe we’ll do it again after we buy our RV - ha ha! 

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So I’ll officially shut up now about how it’s so much work to take the kids to the park or store by myself.   

What are your travel stories?  How have you survived long-distance flights or road trips with young children?  Is the Mazda MPV the smallest mini-van out there?

Dick Hoyt is one of the most inspirational parents I have ever heard of.  Their story is so empowering and inspiring.  My husband told me about them after reading about them in his Sports Illustrated magazine a while ago.  When I think of how to love my children, this is the picture that comes to my mind now.  I hope to give my child the amount of love Dick gives to Rick.  Rick was born with Cerebral Palsy.  While doctors encouraged Dick and his wife to place Rick in an institution, they knew that their son belonged in their home with their family.  When Rick learned to talk with computer assistance, he told his dad he wanted to compete in races.  Rick’s amazing dad competed in the Ironman Triathalon with his son.  The last part of this video will surely force you to find some tissues if you haven’t already needed them.  You can learn more about this dynamic duo at their website: Team Hoyt.

Today I picked up our family’s copy of 1001 Things Your Kids Should See & Do for the first time in a long time.  It was inspiring and encouraging, because it gave me some good ideas and reminded me that I am doing a pretty good job of being a mom so far.   (Sometimes, I’m just a little too hard on myself.)  On the other hand, it showed me that I can’t even do (or haven’t yet done) some of the things on the list.  Ruh-roh!

Some random selections:

• “No. 28:  They need to see you struggle with difficulties.”  This one resonates with me a lot lately; the kids have seen my hubby & I struggling with bills, physical pain, and a fire where my hubby works.  And all of this was just in the past week!  As much as I want to put on a happy face for them, it just isn’t possible every minute of the day.  What they’ll remember is how we handled that stress.
• “No. 53:  They need to listen to Mozart or Beethoven every morning before school.”  Now if only I can find some Mozart or Beethoven!
• “No. 85:  They need to stand up when meeting an adult.  And shake hands while looking them in the eye.”  I like this.  I would love to meet a child (or teenager!) who can do this.  It is so rare.  And it is obvious from a lot of adults I meet that this skill is not taught that often.
• “No. 105:  They need to give up their bedroom to visiting friends and relatives.  It’s good practice for future giving.”  It sure is.  This one challenges me.  We have company coming in a few days and the thought has actually crossed my mind to give them our room.  But that means I’d have to clean EVERY room in the house!  Ha!   This is probably not so practical with a 2-year old and a 1-year old.  So I’ll bookmark this idea for a few years from now.
• “No. 148:  They need to RSVP.  It doesn’t matter what it stands for, it simply shows whether they were raised by wolves or not.”  Amen!  My hubby posts a lot of his youth group activities on Facebook (where they all hang out when they’re not actually hanging out), and most kids can’t even be bothered to check the “maybe” box, let alone “yes” or “no”!  I’ve often said that RSVP-ing is a dying art; my poor friends used to host a dinner at their house every Tuesday night and they’d never know if they’d be cooking for 2 or 20.  Guess what?  They don’t do Tuesday night dinners anymore.    It’d be great if current parents would commit to teaching their children that simply saying “yes” or “no” to an invitation is courteous and essential.

If you have this book, what’s a tip you like?  I’ll be posting more of these in the coming weeks.

Congratulations!  Over sixty of you bought a whole lot of raffle tickets and I’m so happy that we were able to help the Balsis family in this way!!  They are now home from their first trip to Russia and have met a little girl who has Down syndrome and will be bringing her home very soon.  Addison Veronika is the cutest thing ever!  She is going to be two years old next month.  While our raffle is closed, they still have a lot of expenses coming their way with another trip to Russia and the costs of finalizing their adoption.  If you would like to follow the Balsis family and/or financially support their adoption, you can do so by visiting their adoption blog: Dreaming on an Angel.

Before I announce the lucky ducky winners of our fantastic prizes, I want to send a big THANK YOU to the sponsors and co-hosts of this raffle!  I am blown away by the generosity of others and grateful for your support for this special family’s adoption journey.  Thank you so much, from the bottom of our hearts!

Now onto the big announcement!  All winners have been notified by email as well.  Congratulations!!

• Shay K.- Serena and Lily Rory Crib Set
• Amelia S. -  Dear Johnnies Robe and Gown Set
• Vanessa B. – UPPAbaby G-Lite Stroller
• Judith D. – UPPAbaby G-Lite Stroller
• Amy A. – Born to Love Pink Argyle Visor Beanie
• Shylo U. – Bella Tunno Circus Spots Chalk Placemat
• Claudine E. – JessiJeanJewelry Blue Swirl Glass Pendent
• Julie O. – Ellie Bellie Kids Lavender/Lime Tutu
• Kim D. – SlickSugar Guitar Tee
• Williams Violet – Cuddlebee Brown Dot Bib and Burp set
• Robert B. – JP Lizzy Sprout Tote
• Cheri P.  – BabyRock Apparel Sorry Boys tee
• Brian R. – Baby K’tan Camo Baby Carrier
• Michael G. – Made By Angie Primary Dots Wipes Case
• Kristie B. – Itzy Ritzy Bitzy Blanket in Black Damask andBlack Minky Dot
• Shylo U. – Paperluxe Studio Set of 24 Notecards
• Aimee B. – BabyRock Apparel Heart and Crossbones Shoes
• Breanna P. – Born To Love Tan Visor Beanie
• Sherry F. – Baby Rock Apparel Sweetheart Onesie
• Jessica S. – Wet happened? Carnival Bloom Wetbag
• Natalia D. -  Baby Rock Apparel Preschool Tee
• Amy A. – Clairebella Candy Stripe Blue Moses Basket
• Jenna P. – Mia Moda Ciello Stroller
• Brigitte V. – Bella Tunno Sweet Tooth Play Smock
• Debbie B. – Born To Love Pink Visor Beanie
• Sherry H.  – Cuddlebee Fun Dot Bib and Burp Set
• Naomi S. – Baby Rock Apparel Angelic Onesie
• Kara S. – Ellie Bellie Kids Mocha Messenger Bag
• Carmen M.  – Little Showoffs Myself Tee
• Colleen B. – Little Showoffs Rock Star Newborn Onesie
• Craig G. – Ribbies Hair Clippies
• Jodi R. – Sarabear Havana Diaper Caddy
• Sherry F. – Mairzey Dotes Dotty Bird Bib and Burp Set
• Jennifer S. – Pink Axel Peace Beanie
• Jeanette W. – Pink Axel Peace Beanie
• Kari B. – Georgie Tees Let’s Get Smashed Onesie

Since I was a very young child I have wanted to adopt a child someday.  I loved the idea of adoption and dreamed of adding to my family through adoption someday.  When I became a Christian, adoption took on a whole new meaning for me.  I was chosen by my Heavenly Father and adopted to be His child.

When our biological daughter and first born was born with Down syndrome, my adoption dream evolved into adopting a child with Down syndrome in the future.  The incredibly high abortion rates of children prenatally diagnosed with Down syndrome and my growing love for my own biological daughter with Down syndrome fueled my passion to adopt one of these precious children.  Over 90% of these prenatal diagnosis end in abortion.  That broke {breaks} my heart.  Shortly after my daughter’s birth, I started researching domestic adoptions of children with Down syndrome.  What I found was incredibly heart-warming.  In America, there are waiting lists of families who WANT TO ADOPT a child with Down syndrome.  Learning about the waiting lists encouraged me to start researching international adoptions of children with Down syndrome.  What I found was not so heartwarming. A lot of countries discourage families from keeping a child born with special needs and there are way too many children sent to orphanages and later institutionalized because they have Down syndrome.  Dateline recently did a special on one country’s institutions and they are under-resourced, understaffed, and basically inhumane.

While researching international adoptions of children with Down syndrome, I found Reece’s Rainbow.  Reece’s Rainbow is an adoption ministry aimed at finding homes for orphans around the world who have Down syndrome.   They have helped to save over 90 orphans with Down syndrome (or other special needs).  While they are mainly focused on saving children with Down syndrome, they do have an “Other Angels” page where they share information about children who have special needs other than Down syndrome.  Our raffle beneficiaries, the Balsis Family, is working through Reece’s Rainbow in their adoption of a little girl who has Down syndrome.

About six months ago, I started really feeling like it was time to pursue an adoption of a child with Down syndrome through Reece’s Rainbow.  Several months later, my husband started feeling a heart tug as well.  One child in particular really spoke loud and clear to both of us that NOW was the time to grow our family through adoption.  We are very excited to announce that we have committed to adopting a very special 8 month old little girl who we are calling “Reese.”   Reese has Down syndrome and also a cleft lip and cleft palate.  We are hoping to bring her home from Eastern Europe in early spring. I realize that adopting a child with special needs is not the road often traveled for most folks, but I want everyone to know that my husband and I are not “special people.”  We were given a very special gift when our daughter was born with Down syndrome and we have a very special love for her.  While we are overjoyed to save a child who needs a Mommy and Daddy, we are selfishly ecstatic to be having another daughter who has Down syndrome and to experience the gift she is going to be to our family.

There are so many ways you can make an impact in these orphans’ lives:

• Adopt! I know this may seem like a crazy notion to most of you, but before you dismiss it completely, I encourage you to strongly think about this option.  You will be blessing a child, but will also be blessed in more ways than you can imagine!!
• Give! We have our AWESOME raffle going on right now which benefits a specific family and gives you a great chance to win something.  However, you can also donate to children who are waiting for their forever families, children whose families are in the adoption process, or give a general monetary donation to Reece’s Rainbow.  All of these options (except for our raffle) can be found at Reece’s Rainbow.
• Visit Reece’s Rainbow and see the many other ways you can help!

To receive information on domestic (American) adoptions of children with Down syndrome, visit the Down Syndrome Association of Greater Cincinnati.