The Mom Crowd

Two weeks ago I filmed a segment for ABC News show “Moms Get Real” with Juju Chang. The episode aired last week on ABC’s website. You can watch the show by clicking on the photo of it here on the right. In the show Juju Chang, Romi Lassally of truuconfessions.com, Anonymous Mom, and myself talk about Mommy Time.

The first question that Juju asked me was, “Was there a time that you realized that you needed mommy time?” I actually had 2 answers to this question. I told the producer on the phone that it is more of a day to day need. There are days when everything goes wrong. A day where the kids have misbehaved all day, have been whiny or very needy, or you just can’t figure out what they need. A day where you are just exhausted at the end of it. I also told the Producer that Summer has increased my need for Mommy Time, because I am with my kids 24/7. In the interview, I brought up a funny anecdote about how I had gotten blood, throw up, and poop on me in the span of 30 minutes (true story!) There are times when I just feel plain disgusting. Have you ever had a moment when you realized that you needed Mommy Time?

I don’t remember the next question that Juju asked me, because I was trying to remember to smile and not look like a doofus when they were talking. It was also difficult to pay attention, because I could only hear Juju and and Romi speaking through a static-y connection. I couldn’t see them. I totally freaked out when I realized that I hadn’t heard what Juju just said. I think she asked about why we need Mommy Time. I really believe we need Mommy Time because we pour ourselves out with all our heart, body, and soul all day long. We need some time to fill our cups, so we have something to pour out again. Our energy, patience, and compassion dries up and we need time to refill and rejuvenate ourselves. Why do you think we need Mommy Time?

Finally we discussed how we get Mommy Time. I feel very lucky that I am able to work out a schedule with my husband to find the time. Taking 2 to 3 hours by myself on a Sunday afternoon works for my family. My husband is completely off work and is able to watch the kids for me. I have tried to do every Monday night, but I found it hard to pull myself away from the house after a full day with the kids. I also needed time that wasn’t late at night, so I could be alert to work on my blog and do other fun things. I am not a morning a person at all. I have a friend that takes Saturday mornings off.

In the video they also mentioned a mom who confessed that she sat on the toilet for a break. I know I have sat down in the shower when I have felt overwhelmed. The important thing is that we take some Mommy Time to do whatever the heck we want without having to worry about our kids. How do you get Mommy Time?

Amelia recently wrote a blog post titled, How To Take Care Of Yourself (as the mom). The article has some good ideas to take care of yourself. iVillage published 31 Mommy-Time Ideas for Busy Moms which includes, chatting a with a friend as a way to relieve stress. There are many creative way to take Mommy Time.

Is Mommy Time realistic? Do you actually take time for yourself to do whatever you want? When was the last time you had a minute to yourself?

This is a Just Because post.

The video below is “I’m the Letter T” sung to the tune of “Hey There Delilah” by The Plain White T’s. I saw it this morning on Sesame Street and I thought it was pretty clever. I just have one question – if Timmy is wearing a T-Shirt and Tina is wearing a tube top, and the first T is wearing nothing – Does that make him naked?  (Maybe I shouldn’t post random things when I am tired. I say silly things. )

Before my little girl, Annabelle, came along I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to dress my daughter in clothes with cartoon characters and give into sneaky marketing schemes. I have watched one too many “What Not to Wear” shows and I know Stacy always throws out those Disney shirts. Of course, I realize that Stacy is usually helping a 35 year old woman and not a toddler. Still, it solidified the idea in me that cartoon characters are not cool. I wanted my girl to be hip and look like she is always dressed from the Gap.

I also wasn’t going to give into the Disney Princess phenomenon. I am realistic and don’t want to encourage a “princess” mentality. When I was pregnant with my first child I read “What’s Wrong With Cinderella?” in the NY Times. In the article the author is concerned that her daughter’s infatuation with princesses will lead to a life preoccupied with body image. She writes,

I worry about what playing Little Mermaid is teaching her. I’ve spent much of my career writing about experiences that undermine girls’ well-being, warning parents that a preoccupation with body and beauty (encouraged by films, TV, magazines and, yes, toys) is perilous to their daughters’ mental and physical health. Am I now supposed to shrug and forget all that? If trafficking in stereotypes doesn’t matter at 3, when does it matter? At 6? Eight? Thirteen?

I sort of agreed with the author and was concerned about what ideals the Disney princesses were going to teach my future little girl.

I had my standards until I my daughter watched Sesame Street and became a fan of Elmo. Now she will sit on the couch point to the TV and say “Elmo! Elmo!” After we watched the movie ‘Enchanted’ together she came out of the playroom wrapped in a blanket to make a dress, with a purse on her arm and singing. I let her watch Dora and she became glued for the whole episode. She recognizes Dora everywhere she sees her image.

Now it makes me happy to see my daughter get excited when she recognizes a character. The moment my daughter sees her Elmo shirt she says “On! On!” I won’t go overboard and I get a lot of items from garage sales and hand me downs. In my plans to have a trendy dressed daughter I never thought how a TV character would bring my daughter so much joy.

Annabelle naturally gravitates to princess items. Some of that princess stuff is junk and I have some limits on what princess items I allow my daughter to have. I would love to take Annabelle to Disney World and let her run around the park dressed as a princess.

I have come to terms that this will be a phase in my daughter’s life. I grew out of my Strawberry Shortcake phase and I am healthy functioning adult. I am glad that I have given into some of the marketing hype, because it is neat to see my little girl get excited over her Dora pajamas and her Disney princess kitchen. And honestly, it is fun for me too.

Have you had a similar experience? What cartoon items do your kids love? Do you have limit on what  items you allow? Do you think the princess phenomenon is detrimental to our girls? And finally, who else doesn’t like the sassy Tinkerbell merchandise?

- top photo courtesy of Chekit

The work of a Stay at Home Mom now equates to an annual income of $122,732. This is based on a survey of over 12,000 mothers on salary.com. They also based this number on how much it would cost to outsource 10 typical job functions of a mother: housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, facilities manager, van driver, psychologist, laundry machine operator, janitor and chief executive officer.

On mom.salary.com users can calculate for themselves how much a mom’s job is worth. And then, guess what? The user can print out a “pay check” and an Earning Statement and give it to their mom for Mother’s Day. For real? This is exactly what every mother wants for Mother’s Day -  a piece of paper that doesn’t really have any value.  (Of course, if this was a real check then I would be happy to receive it.)

The check is nice sentiment if the number on the check was 1 Zillion dollars or something else equally cute to show that your mom is worth more than current than current market trends.  There is no number that can be applied to the value of a mother’s love for her children.

* My check is only worth $115,757 because of where I live in Texas.

What do you think of Salary.com’s assessment of the value of a mother’s work?

I actually want some time alone for mother’s day. Is it wrong that I don’t want to be with my family the entire day? I don’t want to change any diapers. I don’t want to listen to any crying. I don’t want to worry if my toddler has eaten anything for dinner. I just want to go away for a few hours. I want to sit in a coffeehouse and read. I want to sit in a movie theater. I want to watch something on t.v. that isn’t making me count to five or yelling at me to say things out loud. I want to relax and recharge my batteries.

For me I never imagined having two kids just under 2 years old would be that difficult. I had already had one, so I knew what to expect with the second baby. I knew I had the skills. As it turns out each baby is different and has their own preferences. I have to learn a whole new set of likes and dislikes. Now I have to be even more mindful and deliberate to have some Me Time.

My husband and I went out on a date this past Saturday to enjoy some time together and enjoy the green light from my midwife for you know what. I told my husband this morning that I didn’t know how much I needed that time apart from my kids until I got the time. I was excited to see my kids this morning. I felt refreshed and relaxed today.

I really value the time I have apart from my family, because it makes me a better wife and mom. So really all I want for Mother’s Day is just a few hours by myself.

If money was no object and you could have anything for Mother’s Day, what would you want?