The Mom Crowd

Have you heard of the term “baby wearing”? Have you wondered exactly what it is all about? I remember when I first heard the term and I wondered myself, “um, ok”. Well after some research, it turns out it is a very beneficial thing to do for the new mom. Don’t be afraid to do it. Here are some reasons to begin your “baby wearing” experience with that beautiful new baby of yours.

 It’s Convenient

When you have your baby strapped to you it makes life a little bit easier. It frees your hands to do other things. For example, doing the dishes or folding laundry. Maybe you work from home and need to type. If you are out and about and need to do some errands you can put your baby in the carrier and actually push the shopping cart or hold your basket at the farmers market. More and more baby carriers also double as a blanket, nursing cover or even a changing pad. This definitely lightens the load and allows you to remain productive even when you have a newborn.

 Breastfeeding

When you have your child so close to your skin all the time this helps to promote breastfeeding. In some cases, which a few of the carriers I have seen you can even feed your baby in private while walking around. This is awesome, live your life and your baby is content also.

 Cognitive Development

Babies are extremely observant. When they are worn up right, they are right in the action and it keeps their wheels turning. It allows them to witness everything you do throughout your day. Whether you are cooking, folding laundry, taking a walk, or grocery shopping, your baby is constantly in observing mode and soaking it all in. Babies who are worn are also being constantly talked to by their parent or guardian versus a baby who is pushed around in a stroller and in front of the parent. This allows you to have more interaction with your child and in return creating a stronger bond. All of this encourages learning and brain stimulation in your baby.

 Postpartum

You might be experiencing all kinds of new feelings after you have your baby. There are several things that are probably on your mind one of them being getting back into shape. When you utilize baby wearing you are able to get those daily exercise workouts in. Wearing your baby will distribute their weight a little more evenly, allow you to go in places where you can not take a stroller, and even enable you to boost up your workout and burn more calories.

Some new moms even experience postpartum depression. When you are wearing your body it allows for you to get in those extra little snuggles and kisses that will help you to beat the depression. This allows you to bond even more with your baby without feeling burdened with life’s day to day tasks.

The benefits are endless, and here we have only named a few. So put that baby carrier on your registry, and begin your baby wearing. It’s all worth it!

The Internet and the launch of social media has completely revolutionized the world of communication in more ways than many people may think. Over 1.2 billion currently use the most popular social media platform Facebook, according to Socialnomics.

A more impressive figure, though, is that a large number of them are mothers. Studies have confirmed that over 75 percent of the mothers in America use this particular website, according to Nielsen. There are several key points that could explain why mothers enjoy using social media as much as they do. 

It Allows Them to Express Themselves

One of the main reasons that mothers enjoy using the Internet overall is because it allows them to be able to express their thoughts and feelings publicly. Close to 40 percent of mothers around the world even write an online blog and over 60 percent read other blogs at least monthly, according to Forbes and NextWeb.

Moms are a powerful group on the social media landscape.  So much so that companies build whole engagement platforms around moms and their connections to friends, families and followers through blogs, Twitter feeds and Facebook fan bases.

Even though there are a small percentage of people that make a living writing blogs, over 30 percent of bloggers throughout the country are mothers, according to HubSpot.

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It’s really hard to stay current sometimes when it comes to fashion.  I am no fashionista.  Most days it’s comfortable pants, a simple top and some flip flops.  Since I work from home, I don’t really need to go anyplace.  Since we live in a really small town, I don’t feel like I have anything to really dress up for.

Then the other day, I went to the store and noticed that the lady in from of me was wearing fluffy yellow slippers, sweats and a shirt.  Then it hit me, I was just a pair of fluffy slippers away from officially giving up on what I wear. UGH…….

Since most of us don’t have the money for a full head to toe makeover, you can start with this list of five ways to get out of the mom rut. It’s okay, it happens to the best of us, but the good thing is, you can totally take control and get your pre-motherhood groove back.

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If you’re anything like me, you are probably selfless to your own downfall.  Whether it’s with friends, family, and especially with a significant other, this can create complications.

With my most recent breakup, I’ve found that these complications usually don’t arise as a major issue with the other person (that’s a separate subject entirely), it morphs into an ugly resentment monster, usually pent up deep within our own selves.

The resentment monster then begins to slowly manifest itself in the form of snippy comments, aloofness, or if you’re lucky enough to have to navigate my map of emotions, complete silence and disengagement.

I turn into an unresponsive, and probably a passive aggressive stone statue, “Everything’s fine, no worries, yea cool, whatever”.  Looking back, those are a few of the delightful gems that my ex-boyfriend had to endure.

Selflessness aside, I have myself to blame for choosing to try to be a super woman girlfriend, and expecting a superman boyfriend in return.  My former boyfriend is a musician (a tremendously successful musician, who I still cannot get over).  We’ve been involved for three years, and bond regularly over contemporary art and reggae music.

Based on my personality, I know that I will stop everything at the sound of a needle dropping for someone I love.  But, I also need to feel the love back.  I believe the littlest gestures, and small amounts of individual attention, make a world of difference.  I dropped engagements, plans with friends, and huge dreams of drama school to be completely devoted to a person who I still think is insanely brilliant, without giving myself enough credit to think similarly of myself.

While I am still reeling over the separation, blaming myself for not being supportive “enough”, awkwardly trying to figure out if we can be friends, and secretly hoping things might be different if we have a second chance, I do realize that there is a balance, and I clearly haven’t achieved that balance.

I recall disagreeing during a one year anniversary (on and off anniversary) because I wanted to go dancing, and he didn’t.  I ended up picking up the tab for “our” dinner and hearing a convincing argument as to why we should do something at a later date (which we never did).  Almost immediately, I began telling myself that I was “too needy” and how “selfish” I am to want to go dancing with my significant other.  But, in retrospect, it was my selflessness that choked a lot of the love, and maybe even permanently caused the flames of love to fizzle.  I lost sight of my passions and goals and desires, and I became a femmebot machine, nodding at every whim, and graciously exhausting myself at every command.

I know I’m not alone in this epidemic.  So what can WE as women do about it?

First, I think we need to check in with ourselves every so often.  Or, as a wise friend says, “Check yoself before you wreck yoself”.  If you are or anticipate being in a relationship at any point in the future, make sure you’re achieving your goals, and pursuing your dreams regardless of who is in the picture.

Second, if you have any gut feelings that you’re being mistreated, manipulated, disrespected (in any way), speak up!  If it’s repetitively harmful (physical or emotional), get out. You’re not crazy, and you’re not needy.  You’re intelligent, and wildly talented, you’re just maintaining your self worth.

Finally, if you feel like you’re battling to keep a spark alive, or a relationship that has an expiration date, and nothing is changing, make the change yourself.  If you’re exhausting every inch of your soul, energy, finances, and conversations to convince someone to be with you, to help you out, to spend one night a week at home with you, let them go!

The fact is, I am perfectly imperfect, but I let my expectations cloud the physical inactions (and actions) that I received.  I created a prince in shining armor, and became a resentful monster; all I had to do was make a change, and focus on myself.

As women, it seems rather easy to exhibit moments of self-control, self-indulgence, self-motivation, or self-loathing. Yet, how often do we focus on achieving self-love?

If you were a young girl who grew up with an absent father, either physically or emotionally, chances are that helped shape your overall self-concept of yourself. Many teenage girls and young adults go through stages of promiscuity or falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, in search of the “father figure” they’re trying to replace. Sadly, most will never suppress those desires unless they mend the pain they experienced as young girls. So how exactly do they go about doing that?

Positive affirmations can truly begin to create change in how you view yourself. They are basic statements that you repeat over and over again, preferably while standing in front of the mirror. If you indeed suffer from low self-esteem, they won’t be easy. Some women get increasingly emotional and find it difficult to do. Perhaps that’s because for every negative thing that’s been said to us and taken in, requires three times as many positive ones just to balance out.

Below are a list of statements you can use in the beginning.

∙ I am healthy and happy.

∙ I have a lot of energy.

∙ I am surrounded by love.

∙ I am getting wealthier every day.

Just by saying what you want in life, you then begin to see and feel it, thus attracting it into your life. Words are powerful!

While positive affirmations are a great and healthy start, there are two books I’d highly recommend for further self-discovery. Both are by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D. The titles are Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families and its companion A Gift to Myself: A Personal Workbook and Guide to “Healing the Child Within”. Both are in paperback and available through Amazon.com.

The tools above helped me come a long way in my personal journey of self-love. Not being dependent on others for happiness, reassurance, approval, acceptance, and more, allows me to value what I have to offer in others. That only comes from valuing and loving me.