Your child is wetting his bed and of course as a mother this is a concern for you. Before you start to wonder if there is there something wrong with your child you need to be made aware of the fact that bed wetting is actually quite common amongst young children. Punishing your child for doing this is not the solution and will only make a bad situation worse.
What then can you as a mother do to help your youngster to stop wetting the bed? Here we offer some helpful suggestions for you:
Make an effort to take notice of when the bed wetting occurs
Do you find that your child is more likely to wet his bed after something has upset him? Bed wetting is often related to stress and often occurs right after a child has had to deal with something uncomfortable or disturbing in his life. In some instances though it may be related to an under developed bladder or your child may not wake himself up in time to go to the bathroom.
Pay attention to how much your child drinks in the course of a day
It is important that your child consumes enough fluids throughout the day and does not fill up on too many beverages in the evening and right before bedtime. If he does then his bladder is more likely to be full when he goes to bed. Make it a rule to get your child to drink more during the earlier parts of the day and less after supper.
If you have other children who are aware of the situation then talk to them about it
Make them understand that their brother or sister cannot help what is happening and tell them not to tease or make fun of their sibling. If the child is made to feel ashamed or embarrassed by family members then the problem may get worse instead of better because now there are deeper feelings attached to the behavior.
As a parent you should not scold your child for wetting his bed
Nor should you ridicule him for what is taking place. Just as teasing from other children in the household can make matters worse so can harsh words from you. Your child wants to please you after all and he wants your acceptance. If you get after him then this will affect his self-esteem and make him feel worse about himself.
Purchase a plastic sheet to fit onto your child’s bed
In this way changing the fitted sheet after the accident has occurred will be so much simpler and more convenient for you. The plastic sheet can be cleaned very easily.
If it is your toddler that is experiencing bed wetting problems then put training pants on him when he goes to bed. If he is able to get through three to four nights in a row without wetting his bed then tell him that he does not need to wear them anymore. Make sure you keep a few pairs of training pants on hand in case it happens again. If need be then start the training pants routine over again. Just make sure that your son or daughter knows that this is not a form of punishment!
In some cases bed wetting is the result of a medical problem such as a urinary tract infection
If your child shows other symptoms of a physical problem and you believe that this may be the root of the bed wetting then take him or her to see the family doctor for a check-up.
When your child wakes up in the morning and is dry praise him for it
This will make him feel good and it will also make him want to work harder to end the habit for good.
As a parent you must bear in mind that bed wetting is a stage that some children go through
It is not something permanent by any means. You need to be as patient as possible and you need to show your child support and understanding. If your child expresses worry over the situation then be reassuring and let him know that this is something that he will overcome. Tell him that lots of children go through this and he is not alone in this.
It is a piece of news that we hear often- children today are not as active as they should be. This is leading to many health problems that past generations of children never had to cope with. What children need is to be encouraged to go outside more to play and thus be more active. If your child would rather stay inside and play on the computer or hang out in front of the television set then here are some ideas to encourage your daughter or son to lace up their sneakers and enjoy some outdoor fun.
Set the right example for your child
If you do not practice what you preach then you are not setting a good example for your child to follow, no matter what their age. When you are active you then become a positive guide for your child. Go for walks, go for bike rides, go to the gym and take a class or spend time on the treadmill or the Stairmaster, do sit ups and push-ups in your living room or skip rope in your backyard. The important thing is that you keep active and your child sees you doing this. Find ways to include family members into your regular physical activities, both inside and outside.
Provide as much variety for your child as possible
If your child does only one type of outdoor activity then boredom can easily set in. That is why you need to provide your child with as much variety as possible to keep him enthused in being active outdoors. On one day he may wish to ride his bicycle. On another day he may wish to throw a Frisbee or a ball around in the backyard with friends and on another day play with his basketball. The more options your child has in terms of outdoor activities and sports the more he will come to associate being active with fun and enjoyment.
Make physical activity a family affair
At least once during the course of a week engage in an outdoor family outing together. It may be swimming in the lake, taking a walk in the park, playing badminton in the back yard or riding your bikes together in your neighborhood. Get as many family members together to join in as possible. You want your children to find pleasure in participating in outdoor physical activities. You want your son or daughter to find passion, fun and excitement in getting fit and staying that way. You never want exercise and being physically active outdoors to be a chore. If your child thinks of it as drudgery then his PlayStation is going to hold more appeal for him.
If your child likes a team sport then support him or her in that
If your child expresses interest in participating in a team sport then sign him up and be his cheering squad! Not only is this an excellent way to remain physically active and fit but it is also a wonderful way to meet new people and make friends and to improve your child’s ability to develop skills as team player. Investing in your child’s health and well-being is so important.
Talk to your child and find out what he likes doing
You cannot know what physical activities or sports your child would like to get involved in until you ask. Find out what he or she wants to do and enjoys doing and then help him in that. Maybe your child wants a new bicycle, a new pair of hockey skates, a scooter or some other type of sports equipment. You could buy what he/she wants for Christmas or as a birthday gift. By showing interest in this you can build interest in outdoor physical activities for your son or daughter.
Your son Joey does not want to do his homework tonight. The same thing happened last night and a few evenings last week. The problem is not that he does not know how to do his work but that he just seems to be unable to focus and just get down to it. As a mother you can offer help to your son to make sure that his homework gets done, not just tonight but every night that he has it to do.
Here are some six suggestions as to how you can offer homework help for your child:
- Your child needs a special area where he can sit down and do his homework without being interrupted. It needs to be quiet and away from distractions such as the television, the computer, toys and other children in the home. The work area you set up for your child needs to have an appropriately sized desk (or table) and chair. The space that is designated your child’s area for homework does not have to be large but it does need to be peaceful.
- You need breaks when you are doing your work and so does your child. A younger child can work a short period of time before needing a break while your older child or teenager can work for a longer period of time before needing a break. Encourage your son (or daughter) to take short breaks between studying or working on school work.
- Getting your child into a routine of doing homework at approximately the same time every day when they are young will help them to develop good study habits and will be beneficial to them as they get older and as their workload increases. Building good habits should start young. Help your children in getting into a routine of homework and studying early in their lives.
- To help your child be as organized as possible buy a large sized calendar for the wall and post it near his homework area. Make this your child’s calendar for work assignments. Use a marker to write down when assignments are due and when tests are coming up. Your little one cannot forget important dates for homework assignments when you hang a big enough calendar right in front of his desk (and his eyes!). If you do this your child will never be able to use the excuse that he forgot to do his homework!
- If your child asks for your help with his homework then there is nothing wrong with you helping out- a little bit. In that way you will become well acquainted with the work he is learning in school. But you don’t want to end up doing his work for him. Proofreading his work to look for spelling or grammar errors is fine as is looking to see if his mathematical calculations are right but remember it is his work so he must do it. You can provide some mommy assistance but he is the one that needs to learn from what he is doing.
- Rewarding your child for his hard work, effort and concentration is important. If he has done his homework for the last week or two and completed it on time then find a way to treat him. Let him know that you see his efforts and praise him for that. Positive reinforcement works for everyone of all ages. Your son or daughter wants your acceptance and wants to please you. When your acknowledge that you know he or she is putting in a great deal of effort this means so much to his or her level of self-esteem.
- As a mother you need to provide a gentle and supportive helping hand when it comes to assisting your child with his homework responsibilities. When you guide him in the right direction you can help him to develop positive study and homework habits that can see him through his entire school career.
Some kids look forward to meal times while others not so much. If your child does not want to eat- a problem that is particularly common with toddlers- then you need to find ways to make meal times as fun and interesting for your child and the rest of the family as possible.
Here are some ideas that you can try. Some may work better for your little ones than others. Try a few and see what works for your family. You may be surprised how easy it is to make meal times an enjoyable experience for everyone at your table!
Put Your Creative Juices to Work
If you are a creative mother in general then getting creative in the kitchen should be no problem for you. Find ways to make food look fun and make it appeal to what your kids like. Arrange foods in an enticing manner on your children’s plates. Chop up vegetables and fruits and then arrange them in a way that they spell out your child’s name or make them look like animals. This can also easily be done with nuts or sunflower seeds. Use condiments such as ketchup, mayonnaise and mustard to make smiley faces on your child’s food. Get creative with celery, broccoli, cheese and meat. The more creative you can be the better. This makes it all the more likely that youth daughter or son will want to eat his food.
Think Fun Characters for Cutlery
Buy utensils for your children that are appropriate for their age group. If you purchase forks, spoons, bowls and plates with their favorite characters on them such as Disney characters, Barbie or Dora the Explorer then they are more likely to dig into their food because they are surrounded by the characters that make them smile and giggle. This is an instant pick-me-up for a meal!
Try on Themes for Size
Having themed meals whenever possible is a way to pique the interest of your children and have them scurrying to the dinner table to partake of the fun feast. Choose different locations from across the globe and make a meal that features dishes from that area. Try French, Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Greek and Thai, among others. Play music unique to that area and hang some decorations. This will also provide a means for your children to learn more about other parts of the world. Another theme could be favorite family recipes passed down through generations. You may wish to do your family one night and your husband’s on the next theme night. The point is to make it as fun as possible and to find as many ways as possible for your children to join in.
Let Them Help
If they are old enough then let your children help you to prepare meals. Whether they are sprinkling croutons on a salad, spreading butter on rolls or setting the table find ways that they can be a part of things in the kitchen. They may be more interested in eating the food if they know that their hard work went into helping you to prepare it.
Be Patient and Do Not Stress Out
Do not be too hard on yourself if your child simply refuses to eat. In most cases the child is not hungry and will ask for food when he or she does feel hungry. You might want to look closer at what your child is eating and drinking throughout the day to determine why, for instance, he does not seem to have an appetite when it is time for supper. Make sure your child is not consuming too many beverages throughout the day that cause him to not want to eat his supper. You may even decide to change the times that you have meals at to see if it will be more accommodating for your child’s appetite. Only do this though if it does not cause problems with other family members and does not conflict with other aspects of family life.
Your son Timothy has a new friend who is always around when he needs him and whenever he wants to play. He shares his toys with him, engages in lively conversations with him and talks about him to family members all of time. There is only one problem with Timothy’s friend. He is not real.
Imaginary Friends- Not Uncommon
Having imaginary friends is not that uncommon. Approximately 65 percent of children between the ages of three to five years of age create friends that are imaginary. It generally takes place at a time when a young child’s identity is starting to form and they are beginning to test the boundaries that exist between what is real and what is fantasy. While imaginary friends are usually outgrown by the time a child starts school, research has shown that approximately one-third of children continue to have an imaginary friend through the age of seven. For very young children imaginary friends are often based on physical objects such as a doll or a stuffed animal. Girls tend to have imaginary friends more than boys do, according to studies that have looked at this and parents are more likely to be aware of the imaginary friend of their daughter’s than their son’s.
Relax and Don’t Sweat It
If your child has an imaginary friend that is important to him or her then you may be alarmed by this. You may wonder if this is a sign that your child has a problem, such as being socially maladjusted. You may also wonder how you should handle the situation. Should you treat the situation as if it is completely normal or should you discourage the presence of the imaginary friend in your child’s life?
Relax. That is what you should do about the imaginary friend situation- just relax. In most cases a friend that your child has created is nothing more than the result of a mind that is creative, curious and trying to understand and make sense of the expanding world that he or she lives in. Your child wants to learn and explore and for some children, imaginary friends help them to do just that. You will be happy to know as a mother that children who have the most active of imaginations tend to grow into creative and curious adults who are always hungering to learn- and they show no signs of being socially maladjusted.
Purposes for an Imaginary Friend
For a child an imaginary friend may serve a variety of purposes. An imaginary friend:
- makes it possible for your child to try out different types of relationships at a time when their social development is at a critical point
- allows a child to explore such things as control, discipline and power without having to cope with authority figures in the real world
- helps a child to cope with anxiety in his life that is associated with a transition (such as a move, a new baby in the family or a death in the family)
When to be Worried
As a parent you need to pay close attention to the duration and the intensity of your child’s friendship with the figment of their imagination. You need to be concerned if your child does not show any interest in interacting with other children but instead wants to spend much of his or her time playing with the imaginary chum. This can point to some sort of psychological distress that is going on with the child and it needs to be addressed.
In time your child’s interest in being involved with an invented friend will disappear as he becomes sure of himself and as your child develops meaningful friendships with his peers. However if your child seems deeply engrossed in this imaginary friendship and it shows no signs of dissipating but instead seems to be picking up speed then it is time to speak with a professional to find out if your child may be dealing with some anxieties, fears or worries that he has not shared with you.
Some children create imaginary friends to help them cope with the complex, uncertain and often frustrating issues that crop up in their lives. As a parent you should not discourage your child’s manner of interacting with the world by his existence of a made up confidante. You should also not poke fun at the relationship. Remember that this friend seems all too real to your child and plays a role in his growth. You should not become too involved with the drama either though. You can go along with the situation up to a point. It does have limits. You can also use a gentle but firm way of reminding your Timothy that his friend is make believe.
