The Mom Crowd

Last week, our family had several days with no plans.  Pre-school was out due to fall break.  Playgroup fell through.  By Friday, the kids & I were going a bit crazy.  So I did what I don’t normally do: I packed them up for an outing, just the 3 of us.  After about 90 minutes, we were back home, and I said, “That’s why I don’t go out alone with the kids.”  At the time, I felt totally justified in this.  I mean, come on: my kids are 2 & 1.  The park is a big place, the slides are fast & scary, the threat of injuries & falls is ever-present.  I was exhausted chasing them both around.  My daughter walked right into my son’s moving swing and got cold-cocked in the face.  Cue the crying in pain.  Not ten minutes later, she had a major face-plant on the ground when trying to climb into her carseat (big ole bump & bruise to prove it).  More distress followed.  To cheer Lucy up, I took them to the library for fall craft day “for a quick minute”.  It was fun, but difficult, as many of you can attest, to help Lucy use a glue stick with my squirmy son on my lap.  (I gave him what I hope was a non-toxic marker and let him go to town on his hands.)

But after hearing what some of my friends have been up to lately (or reading their Facebook statuses, rather), I realized I am pretty much a lazy wuss.

Enter Sharon, Jenny, and Amy, my three new heroes.  Sharon lives in Israel with her family as missionaries, and she came back to the States for an extended visit while hubby remains overseas in seminary.  Jenny is traveling from San Antonio to Pittsburgh over the course of two weeks, visiting friends, with her two children in tow.  Oh, and she’s pregnant.  Amy is headed to Arizona with her family for a job relocation.  Her fourth child was born just months ago.  When they commented on their amazing itineraries, I had to ask them a few things… just in case I’m ever daring enough to venture out with my children past a five-mile radius.

Let’s start with the basic details: how many kids do you have, what are their ages, and were you traveling with your spouse? 

Sharon: I have two children, ages 4 and 1.  Although we’ve done this flight many times, this was the first one without hubby along to help.  

Jenny: I have two kids, 4 and 1, and one on the way.  No, my husband is not traveling with us on the way up; he’ll actually meet us in eastern PA (where he’s traveling solo for work) and drive home with us.

Amy: I have four children, ages 6, 4, 2 1/2 and 3 months!  Yes, I was with my husband!  (I tried a trip once with the 3 kids while I was pregnant – it was a nightmare!)

How far did you travel/are you traveling? 

Sharon: We traveled over seven THOUSAND miles!

Jenny: We will have driven over 1,700 miles when we meet up with my husband and head back home.

Amy: We are in the middle of driving from Virginia to Arizona (it’s about four days). [Editor's note: Virginia to Arizona is roughly 2,185 miles.]

What was/were the primary mode(s) of transportation?

Sharon: We flew from Israel to Houston (with a stopover in Germany), then drove from Houston to San Antonio.  Lufthansa is awesome by the way; best airline coffee I’ve ever had! 

Jenny: 2001 Honda Odyssey!

Amy: All 6 of us are riding in the comfort of our 2001 Mazda MPV (I’m pretty sure it’s the smallest mini-van out there). 

What were your worries going into this time of travel?  What steps did you take to alleviate your anxiety?

Sharon: My primary concern was keeping the kids occupied on the longer flight (10 1/2 hours in an airplane is a long time!).  I was also worried about my son wandering off in the airport (which he has done before).  So, I drilled into my son the importance of staying next to mommy and helping me take care of his baby sister.  He did beautifully!  And I tried to pack a lot of things to keep the kids entertained.  The airlines provided a pack of cards for my son, so we got to play MANY games of Go Fish.  The baby was a little bit harder.  She basically took a lot of cat naps, and I would take her to the back of the plane to crawl around when she got bored in her seat. 

Jenny: Mostly I was concerned about the kids’ antsiness and impatience during the longer stretches in the car.  So I just really made sure that we had a variety of activities to keep them busy.  We brought crayons, coloring books, dolls, books, cds, and toys.  And when all of that didn’t work, it was time to use the dvd player (and I didn’t feel one bit guilty!).  I also made sure I listened to them, and when it seemed like things were getting to be too much, we took breaks to run around and play. 

Amy: One of my biggest worries was having to travel with sick kids.  That was one reason why my last trip with the kids alone went so badly.  Two weeks before leaving, I made everyone wash their hands 50 times a day, take their vitamins, I prayed daily about it, and I wouldn’t let anyone who seemed sick near them!  Two days before we left, my 4-year old ended up with a fever and a sore throat.  Ugh!  We hit the road while “praying without ceasing” for our sick, whiny little girl.  A few hours into the trip, she perked up and was fine!  Praise God! 

Any close calls or major stress-filled moments?

Sharon: Just exhaustion.  I probably slept about two hours during a 24-hour period.  Oh, and we almost missed our plane in Germany!  Fortunately, that flight was delayed, so we made it without a problem. 

Jenny: It’s always hard to mediate a fight or change a dvd while driving, so there were a few near-misses where I had to swerve back into my own lane!

Amy: None whatsoever, unless you count getting stuck in traffic for 30 minutes in Jackson, MS, while having to pee!  I was seriously thinking about grabbing a diaper! 

What got you through the journey?

Sharon: Knowing that it was temporary. 

Jenny: Knowing that at the end of the trip, I get to see my best friends.

Amy: God did.   Admittedly, we did use the dvd player a few times.  We also had little gifts from a friend to open throughout the day.  Each gift was a little activity the kids could do to occupy them for a short time.  I also brought my manual breast pump so I could bottle-feed the baby in the car.  That way we only had to stop for food and potty breaks. 

Would you do it again?

Sharon: Well, I kind of need to, since I’ll be flying home with them in December.  But, after that… I’m waiting until they’re a little bit older! 

Jenny:  I’m only halfway through, but it’s definitely been worth it.  So that’s a yes.

Amy: Umm, not unless I had to!  It’s tough, but we do bond as a family and it’s great seeing the sights of our great country as we drive to our new home.  Maybe we’ll do it again after we buy our RV - ha ha! 

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So I’ll officially shut up now about how it’s so much work to take the kids to the park or store by myself.   

What are your travel stories?  How have you survived long-distance flights or road trips with young children?  Is the Mazda MPV the smallest mini-van out there?

It’s that time again: the start of school.  For many of us moms, it’s the start of pre-school.  My kids have been in pre-school for about four weeks now (and my mental health is the better for it!)  Lucy is in the 2-year old class, so she brings artwork or little projects home twice a week.  Eli, 1, goes once a week, and doesn’t bring anything home yet.

I love that the kids get to do fun projects at pre-school.  I love seeing how proud Lucy is when she shows me what she did, and listening to her cute voice describe it: “What did you make, Lucy?”  “A col-LAGE!”  Another new word in her ever-expanding vocabulary.

So this is just the beginning.  Soon, artwork is going to start piling up all around us if we don’t have a plan of action for what to do with it.  I’m sure lots of you moms know what I’m talking about.  What happens when there’s no more room on the fridge?

Thanks to ideas I’ve read in various magazines over the past couple of years, I’ve acquired some helpful tips for this issue.  I don’t really take credit for these ideas – except for #1 and #3, which I just thought of as I was writing this post.  I hope this helps you prevent mountains of construction paper from forming in your house & car!

1. Turn your laundry room or spare wall into a gallery.  As I mentioned last week, my house has out-of-date wallpaper.  In our laundry room – a place where I spend a fair amount of time each week, and also the room we walk through to get to the garage – the wallpaper is pretty busy.  So I started taping up the kids’ artwork and projects.  Every day that Lucy brings home something new, she helps me pick out a spot on the wall, and up it goes.  It’s her artwork-central.  She loves it.  I get to appreciate it, and the less of that wallpaper I see, the better.
2. Take pictures of the artwork as it comes in, and save them in a special folder on your computer.   Then the opportunities are endless:  use the pictures for your screensaver, or make a photo year book for each school year!
3. Create a blog just for their artwork.  Give the address to family members and friends so they can comment.  The kids will love the praise on their own special webpage!
4. Mail pieces of artwork to distant relatives.  Not only does this get it out of your house, it gives Grandma a special surprise amid her bills!
5. Keep a special portfolio, box or file for each of your childrens’ work.   At the end of each quarter or semester (or any time you feel is necessary), sit down with your child and the artwork, and do a cleanout.  Have them choose their 5 best pieces, and save them in the portfolio with the dates and their signature.  Then decide what you will do with the rest.  Tell your child that any of options 2-4 are acceptable, but it’s time to make room in the portfolio for new things that come in.  Not only does this whittle down the amount of paper you’ve got at home, it gives your child ownership in what is kept, and even helps develop a critically-thinking mind.
6. Frame your favorite pieces to be hung on the walls.  I saw a picture of this in the latest Real Simple; the decorator created a collage on the wall of framed family pictures and artwork.  It was really cool and colorful.

Surely there are other ideas and tips out there for cherishing the work of each of our little Picassos, Monets, or better yet, Dalis.    What have you done?

I think I have a record player, or should I say cd player, implanted in my brain.  It causes my voice to repeat things over and over.  Does this happen to you too?

I enjoy the tracks where my mouth says things like “I love you”.  Things like “we don’t put pillows over the baby’s head”, not so much. When it comes down to it, sometimes I get so tired of repeating the same things over and over, know what I mean?

Things like:

• Stop whining!
• Get off of your brother; He is asking (okay screaming) for you to stop sitting on him.
• Please follow mommy’s directions.
• Will you please stop leaning on me and sit all the way in your chair (at dinner).
• Trowing a fit will not get you what you want.
• Pick up your toys or they will be taken away the next time I come in here and they aren’t picked up.
• We don’t hit in our house, we use our hands to show love.
• Don’t run away from me!
• If you get up from time-out before the timer goes off there will be further consequences.
• Get in your car seat!
• Why are you out of bed?
• Because I asked you to do ________.
• Go to the potty BEFORE any pee-pee gets in your underwear!

I think I might have said all of those things in one day!  The trick is to say all of these things in a voice that isn’t angry.  And boy does that get hard when I’m tired–or just sick and tired of repeating the same things over annoying behavior.  The truth is that I should not be surprised that my children misbehave and don’t do everything they are supposed to do.  Shocking, I know.  They are kids and they aren’t perfect–just like I am not.  But in all honesty, sometimes I wish that they never misbehaved. I have to remind myself that their mistakes are chances for them to grow in their character (mine too) and opportunities for me to show them that I love them despite their misbehavior or bad choices.

Sometimes when the broken record is playing I have flashbacks into my own childhood when my mom would say some of those same things to me.  So weird.My hope is that on the days where I am repeating all the “behavior correction” tracks that I can squeeze in the tracks that tell them:

• I love you.
• Let’s have some special play time.
• You are important to me.
• I’m so glad you are mine.
• I love how God made you.
• You are significant.

I once heard that for every criticism you tell a child they need to hear 5 positive things about themselves.  That is hard to do some days.  I find it too easy to get into the pattern of just correcting behavior and being nitpicky rather than enjoying the day given to me and cherishing the everyday moments with my child. I mean, if I ask one of my kids to put something away and they want to spin in circles instead of walk on the way to putting it away, does it really matter?  I’m learning how to let some of those things go so I can spend more time loving on my kids and laughing with them.

What phrases do you find yourself saying over and over again?  Is there anything you say now that your parents used to say to you?  And tell me your secret about how you speak kindly to your kids when they are whining about wanting to watch TV for the 150th time that day!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been playing the album “No!” by They Might Be Giants during mealtimes.  Most lunches, in particular, I’m home alone with the kids, and musical stimulation is necessary for me to not go crazy with boredom.  (The kids are cute & all, but not exactly great conversationalists.)  I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. 

This album came out in 2002 – well before my kid-making days – which explains why I’m late in discovering it.  But what a fun discovery!  There are 17 tracks, but I’ve chosen a few favorites and why we like them.  Scroll down a little further to hear the songs instantly as you read about them!  They are all very short.

“In the Middle” – A cute little ditty that doubles as a public service announcement to tykes who want to cross the street. 

Don’t cross the street in the middle of the block
Use your eyes to look up
Use your ears to hear
Walk up to the corner when the coast is clear, and wait, and wait
Until you see the light turn green

I find myself doing a choreographed jig to this one when I’m making the grilled cheese.  (Yes, I think I can dance.) 

“I Am Not Your Broom” – The most TMBG-like.  In other words, totally random and silly, and not so musical.  Sure to get everyone’s attention.  Last week, it actually came on while I was sweeping.  Lucy stood there processing it all.  It was so funny.

“Bed, Bed Bed” – Its percussion beat had all three of us pounding on the table and dancing in our chairs.  Pull out the pots & pans and watch the family drumline fall into place!

“John Lee Supertaster” – Starts off with a funny spoken intro, and launches into a cool tune that sounds right out of the Ocean’s 11 soundtrack.  It’s perfect for a puppet act, which I’m trying to get my husband (a puppeteer) to put together.  Motown-style background singers and a superhero for a character?  What’s not to love?

“I Am a Grocery Bag” – Like it’s straight off a Beck album.  Ask the kids to list how many items they can recognize in the song.

In the special “Grooves for Mom” category:

“Sleepwalkers” & “Lazyhead &  Sleepybones”

“Where Do They Make Balloons?” (Eli, my 1-year old, busts a move to this one; evidently he likes the mellow stuff.)

And my personal favorite:

“Clap Your Hands” – it’s SO incredibly funky and fun, I dare you not to dance!!  This one has Lucy begging, “Again??!!” over & over.  I feel like I’m in 1960s motown when I hear it.  Air organ playing!!

Listen for yourself!

SeeqPod – Playable Search

Other albums my kids enjoy:

Lisa Loeb & Elizabeth Mitchell – “Catch the Moon”

Rockabye Baby - “Lullaby Renditions of U2″

Do you have these albums?  What other pop favorites of yours have made kids’ albums worth hearing? 

Finding a reliable, energetic babysitter or nanny can be quite a challenge these days. When I was in high school, I remember competing to be “THE sitter” with many other high school girls. I babysat all the time and made quite a bit of cash. Now that I am a mom, it seems like there just aren’t as many eager young teens and college age gals looking for babysitting gigs.

I posted last week about creating a babysitter handbook, but that’s just not very valuable if you don’t have a babysitter! Here’s some ideas on where to find a great babysitter.

• Church – check with your college/young singles pastor or youth group leader at church for names of people who may be interested in babysitting!
• Local colleges – Most colleges have job banks where outsiders can post job opportunities for the students. This is how I found one of our regular babysitters!
• Tell EVERYONE you know! – You never know when your child’s soccer coach has a next door neighbor who is looking for a great babysitting gig!
• Homeschooling groups – Check your local homeschool group for reliable high schoolers who want to sit for families. The great thing about hiring a homeschooler is they are sometimes more flexible in their schedules. If you need a Friday morning sitter, you may be able to find a trusty 17 year old who is free on Friday mornings this way!
• Your local gym/day care center/karate class/music class/etc.. – Check with people who are already in the caregiving business, and even better, check with people who are already caring for YOUR children! The child care worker at the gym or your child’s day care teacher may be looking for some extra cash on the weekends or evenings. Scoop them up!
• Nanny or Babysitting websites-I don’t have any experience with this route, but you can join a website similar to this site or this site and have access to babysitters and nannies in your area, their contact information, their resumes, and their availability.

When you’ve found a couple candidates, there’s a few things you can do to make sure they are a good fit before inviting them into your home.

• Have a phone interview. If you need specific, regular times for the babysitter to work, make sure they are available when you need them. Also, confirm pay over the phone and if they have transportation.
• Meet them face to face. My mother-in-law met with our potential nanny at Starbucks and bought her a drink and discussed in more detail why she was wanting a nanny position and what made her qualified to care for children. My mother-in-law is super laid back, so it really was perfect to have her there. Other MIL’s may not be a great person to take on this interview. If you want to have someone else there if you’re husband is not available, ask a close friend. It’s always good to get someone else’s input on something like this.
• After the first meeting, I invited our potential nanny over to meet the children and see how she interacted with them. Prior to this, I offered her the job contingent on how she and the kids interacted and on her background check results. All went GREAT and we found ourselves a great nanny!

The most important part of finding a great babysitter is not letting them go when you find them! Pay them competitive rates and make sure you are not micromanaging them. Make them feel very appreciated and never take advantage of them! Happy hunting!

Where have you found your awesome sitter or nanny? What makes your relationship work so well? Any other advice?