The Mom Crowd

I am not a morning person.  I love to sleep.  The lack of sleep that comes with having children is probably my biggest personal challenge (and sacrifice)–well, that and staying calm when the children are not listening to directions–but that is a whole other topic. We prefer to have our kids go to bed on the earlier end (oldest and middle child with no nap=b/t 6:45 and 7, with nap= 8:30 or maybe 9, baby=b/t 6:30 and 7:00).  We parental units like to enjoy some sit in front of the tv time to decompress quality time together.  The unfortunate problem with this is that our kids tend to get up early and when they get up TOO early–it is often way before the chickens are stirring from their coops.  Like before 6am.  Anytime before 6:30 is too early in my book–7:00 is perfect.

When we moved the oldest and middle child to the same room this summer we ran into some problems.  They either accidently or purposely woke each other up.  Middle child had a habit of pooping around 6 a.m. in his diaper.  Rolling around in poo and smelling up the room probably woke up oldest child.  Before we moved older child into middle child’s room, middle child would hang out in bed for a long time quietly talking or resting and would get up when he heard others up.  Older child loves people so when he wakes up wants to be around ANYone and EVERYone.  No leisure time in bed for him. You can see how this could be a problem with room sharing.

4 and 5 year olds don’t always understand that waking up their siblings can be a very selfish thing to do–not to mention it can really make mommy’s day miserable. Especially if she is dealing with 2 children who did not get the right number of hours of sleep.  More whining and fighting anyone? We recently took out their lamp on their nightstand because one brother (I’m sure you can guess who) would decide to turn it on when he woke up–didn’t matter what time in the morning, and didn’t matter if other brother was sleeping. And trying to explain that other brother was whinier, grumpier and less pleasant to be around didn’t phase him.  Grrrrrrr!  And of course the lamp lighter brother had the biggest attitude about going back to bed. So what do you do when your kid gets up at the crack and refuses or “can’t” (aka WON’T) go back to bed for sleep or rest?

We have tried several things, some worked better than others:

1. A few years ago, we put a lamp on a timer so older child would know when it was okay to get up and out of bed.  It seemed to work for a while but then he figured out how to mess with the timer and/or unplug it so we stopped being consistent with it.

2. We have finagled with bedtimes to see if that helps.  We love the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and have moved some bedtimes up earlier so they would sleep later.  Counterintuitive I know, but it does work.  Overtired children are more likely to wake up more often in the middle of the night and wake up early.  Have you ever noticed that when you have a late night out your kids wake up at their same ol’ time or EARLIER?  I am always hopeful they will sleep in–but I keep reminding myself that when they become teenagers and hibernate in their rooms sleeping through the mornings on the weekends I’ll get to really get to sleep in myself.

3. Patiently (keyword: patiently) leading them back to bed to rest until mommy or daddy come get them.  It may only be enough time for some slight dozing or snuggling on the parental end but at least I am cozy in bed and not starting my day yet.  I have had my fair share of mornings being grumpy, mad mommy insisting they go back to bed but that only makes it WORSE–they resist more and I get all riled up so I’m definitely NOT getting any more sleep.  I’m too busy kicking myself for getting frustrated and trying to tell the adrenaline to shut off.

4. Teach them about time with a digital clock.  This is obviously better for older kids but it has been working a little at our house.  We had a special “training session” where I taught the kids how to get out of bed, open and shut their bedroom door quietly so they wouldn’t disturb the other person sleeping.  We practiced getting out of bed and using “quiet feet” (we have wood floors on 3 of the 4 levels in our house so it often feels like we live inside a drum) several times. They had a lot of fun with it.  I also have been going over with them almost daily that when the clock says “6:0_, 6:1_, 6:2_, 6:3_” then it is too early to get up and out of bed.  They can lay in bed quietly (and we practiced several examples of what is NOT quiet) and then come out when the clock says “6:4_”.   They can say it verbally back to me but when it comes down to practice they are still a little sketchy about it.  Sometimes they forget to look at the clock, sometimes they read the numbers in the wrong direction–I mean they are 4 and 5 so of course it is going to take them a while to get it down.  They have surprisingly had a lot of fun with all this training and are proud of themselves when they get it right.  It still seems like they wake up at the same time more often than not. We have also been working on teaching about time with an analog clock just to help them with time in general.

5. I haven’t tried this one yet, but I just saw a little blurb in Parents Magazine about it and I am seriously considering ordering one.  A Good Nite Lite was designed by a dad whose kid kept getting up at 5am. He designed the night light to glow like a sun when it is daytime and okay to get out of bed, and like a moon to show that it is still nighttime and to stay in bed.  It costs $35 bucks which might be worth it for some extra sleep.

I realize that this post is geared for older kids in big beds, not babies.  That is a different post that maybe I’ll write about another time.  I have some experience in babies that get up too early too.

So, what do you do when your kids wake up too early?  What has worked for you?  What has been the biggest disaster? 

Earlier this week, I was discussing with my hubby the definition of “preppy“.  It all started because I called our son “Mr. Preppy” – he was wearing a polo-shirt style onesie and the collar was “popped” for a second.  So cute.  In fact, it was his outfit for fall pictures at pre-school a few weeks ago.

It got me thinking about all the different fashion statements we like to make with our children.   For the first several years, they are definitely wearing what we choose for them.  In a way, we make them little reflections of ourselves.  Have you ever dressed your child in clothing that:

• represents a favorite sports team/alma mater/band or musical act?
• makes some kind of political statement?
• matches your own outfit to a tee?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this; it’s part of the fun of having a child, in my opinion.  We’ve all done this in some form or another, either by choice or because the clothing was a gift from family members, right?  (My children have been wearing more than their fair share of Philadelphia sports teams gear for the past 2 years, that’s for sure. ) 

I’m curious: do you think about what style you want your baby to wear?  Do you seek out certain plaid, button-down styles?  Do you gravitate toward the frilly stuff for your daughter?  Are you prone to stocking up on shirts that have the latest Disney characters screened on them? 

I work in our church nursery each Sunday, so I glimpse a little bit of everything: kids in hand-me-downs, kids in linen overalls and white-collared shirts, kids in Baby Gap from hat to socks, kids in cartoon-related clothes, kids in garage sale clothes.   

The picture above is one that I took of my daughter’s closet when she was first born: stocked with precious dresses and outfits that were ultimately only useful one or two times.  I loved dressing her in them and I miss all that frilliness.  But she’s going on 3 now.  She’s in pre-school two days a week.  It’s all practical, all the time for her.  Jeans, tees, sneakers, and a jacket.  We can’t afford much more than this.  We get everything at Target and Wal-Mart, and we’ve become huge garage sale fans, scoring scads of good clothing at a fraction of the cost.   

Other moms’ thoughts on this subject:

• Junior High, Revisited 
• How to Dress Up Your Kids In Style
• Do  You Have a Problem Dressing Your Children In Wal-Mart Clothes?
• Dress  Your Child For Success: 5 Steps to Building Confidence Through Appearance

What do you think? What habits have you formed in acquiring your kids’ wardrobes?How important is your child’s clothing to you?  Is this irrelevant in our troubling economic times?  Weigh in below.

I can’t believe it’s Halloween.  The older I get, the quicker it comes.  I’m no longer a child in a classroom counting down the long October days to the 31st.  I no longer fret over what would be the best costume.  I don’t worry about how many pieces of candy my mom will allow me to eat each day.  Yes, the tables have turned; now it’s my turn to monitor all of this for my kids.  Since they’re still 2 and 1, though, I don’t have to go through the whole Halloween shebang just yet.  This year, our focus has been on having the most budget-friendly holiday.  If you’re like me, you don’t have much extra cash for store-bought costumes or full-sized candy bars to give away.   

Here are some ideas to keep Halloween easy on the wallet: 

• Make your own costume.  Sometimes, the store-bought ones look so cheesy anyway; using clothes from around the house really adds character and originality to a costume.  I remember once I was a princess, and I borrowed a prom dress and jewelry from one of my mom’s friends.  All I needed was the tiara!  Another time, my mom made me a cheerleading outfit and sewed the year I would graduate high school on the sleeve of my sweater.  (I remember thinking, ‘Wow, 1994 will never come!’)  The best homemade costumes, though, have wit.  One year, I made a “sandwich-board” costume out of posterboard to look like a giant Dawn dishwashing soap bottle.  And in eighth grade, my friend Jaimee and I decided to be a giant yellow happy face.  We pulled it off, too.

• Borrow a hand-me-down costume from a friend.  This year, I was fortunate enough to borrow a lion costume for Eli and a giraffe costume for Lucy.  They will even “match” in all of their jungle-ness!  If you already purchased a costume this year, save it and be on the lookout for someone who can put it to good use next year.
• Wait until the last week of October to buy your pumpkins.  True, the selection might be picked over, but if you’re carving it up anyway, what’s the big deal?  We bought a decent-sized one for $3 this week at Wal-Mart.  Also, plan on reusing your carving kit for next year; that’s another $4 saved.
• Go trick-or-treating with friends in another neighborhood.  I’m not trying to sound cheap here, but since I made plans to take the kids someplace else during the evening hours, I don’t have to worry about buying candy to give away!  (When you’re really on a shoe-string budget, this helps.)
• Add Halloween fun to things you already eat.  Use food coloring in your muffins, buy the black spaghetti noodles for a clever dinner idea, and roast your pumpkin seeds for a healthy, tasty snack.  (There are lots of ways to do it, but this is the simple recipe I used.)  

What are some other ideas you have?  I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!

Ack!  For about a month now, Lucy has perpetually had her fingers in her mouth.  I trim her nails about every two weeks, but lately there’s been nothing there for me to trim! 

I grew up hearing, “Dawn, stop biting your nails.”  (That, and, “Dawn, stop cracking your knuckles.”)  If you’re like me, that’s like being asked to stop breathing – it’s just a nervous habit!  I still do both of those things, but I’m much better about nailbiting than I used to be.

Now I’m hearing myself say the same things repeatedly: “Lucy, please take your finger out of your mouth.”  Sometimes she obeys, sometimes she doesn’t.  When I catch her doing it in the rear-view mirror, she leans over so I can’t see her, and then keeps doing it.  Oh, that savvy little girl!

 I grew up knowing about a bitter formula that could be put on kids’ nails to deter them from thumbsucking or nailbiting.  Not Tabasco sauce; there’s something different that I’m thinking of.  Anyone know what it is?  I’d rather find out here than pay to ask my doctor this simple question.

How have you dealt with your child’s finger-chewing habits?  Any other strategies I should know about?  Thanks for your help!

The American population is revved up for the elections in a couple weeks and the economy is on everyone’s minds.  While the candidates debate on how to best heal our economy, I thought it would be a good time to discuss our responsibility to ourselves, our families, and to our society to start living within our means.  Our society has  a “have it all-have it NOW” mentality and we are seeing firsthand what happens when individuals in our society and when our own government lives outside of their means.

Other than the good ole’ makin’-a-budget-and-stickin’-to-it plan, there are some small steps you can take to help yourself start living within your means.  Not only can you use these ideas to help yourself to start living within your means, you can incorporate these philosophies into your parenting strategy.  It is important for our children that we set an example of living within our means and that we teach them that they need to live within their own means.

Here are some philosophies we try to live out within our family:

“The Latte Factor”

• My husband discovered this term from one of the financial gurus he reads (I can’t tell you which one this phrase belongs to…).  The basic idea is that it’s the “lattes” that get us in trouble financially.  For some, it is literally the “lattes” (from Starbucks) that are making big dents in their budgets, but for others, “latte” is figurative for other little purchases made throughout the week.  Most people don’t know where their money goes after they get paid and it’s usually these small purchases that is the culprit of this disappearing money.  If you spend $1.18 a day on a diet coke (guilty as charged), that is $36 every month.  I’m not saying you should stop buying your diet cokes each day, however those small dollar purchases can really impact your monthly budget.  My husband is constantly grilling me about “the latte factor” and while it can be irritating at times, I appreciate that we are aware of where our money goes each month because we are paying attention to all of the transactions we are making.
• Parenting Tip: Encourage your children to keep a record of how they spend their allowance.  If you know they are really anxious to buy the new Guitar Hero game, you can help remind them that when they buy bubblegum from the machine, they are delaying their coveted purchase that much longer.

“Do I really need it?” and “Can I afford it?”

• Do you really need 1,000 minutes and unlimited texting on your cell phone?  Do you really need 150 channels on your television?  Do you really need that gym membership that you’re not using?  The answer will be “no” in most of the circumstances you ask yourself “do I really need this?”, however the follow-up question must always be “can I afford it?”  I’m not suggesting you live a life of eating rice and beans every night and I’m not suggesting you get rid of your internet and use the library computer, however if you can’t afford something, you can’t afford it.  There are many fabulous luxuries in our society, however there’s a lot of empty money spent on channels never watched, gyms never visited, and furniture never sat in.  In order to live within your means, you have to be able to tell yourself “no” at times.
• Parenting Tip: Be honest with your children about your family budget and explain to them that if you add an expense, you will have to take away another expense.  Explain to them that in order for your family to increase their cable channels, you will have to have dial up internet.  Allow them to share their thoughts and play a role in your family’s budget.

Keeping up with the Jones’

• Right now, the Jones’ are facing foreclosure because the Jones’ were not wise with their money.  Being the Jones’ may be fun for a while, but it will inevitably catch up to you.  If you are unwise with your money because you are trying to have it all, you will eventually wind up not having anything.
• Parenting Tip: Remind your children that “stuff” is not what is important in this life.  Volunteer as a family at the food bank or homeless shelter.  Expose them to families who do not have very much.  For Christmas, have your children give presents to children who are less fortunate than they are.  Set an example to your children by not complaining about what you don’t have. Being around people who are less fortunate than you are will not only impact your children, but it will impact you and remind you of all of the things you have.

Stinky debt

• There are some debts that I feel can be classified as investments.  School loans, mortgages, etc… can be considered investments, when under control.   Buying a house that you cannot afford or pulling out as much in school loans as you can are not wise investments and can easily put you in a place where you are living outside your means.  However, the stinky debt I am referring to is stinky credit card debts.  If you are using credit cards and not paying them off each month, you are not living within your means.  There’s not much more to say about that, other than stop using your credit cards.  If you can’t get by without using your credit cards, eliminate other expenses in your life (cable, cell phone, move into a smaller apartment, etc…) so you can afford your bills and not be consumed by the credit card monster.
• Parenting Tip: The best gift you can give to your children is your example.  Explain to them how credit card debt works and how interest can consume your monthly payments.  If they ask to borrow money in between their allowances, show them how interest works and charge them interest on that loan.  The main thing is to teach them why credit card debt is so difficult and show them the freedom of a family not living in the chains of debt by not being consumed by it yourself.

Delayed Gratification

• If you want to purchase something that is not a necessity, sleep on it.  A lot of times you will not feel as urgent about purchasing that item the next day.  Another great idea is to have those splurges be a reward for yourself.  Set goals (financial, weight-loss, etc…) for yourself and promise yourself that you can buy that item once your goal is met.  This practice of “delayed gratification” will not only help your wallets, it will also help you to be a more disciplined person in general.  However, if you cannot afford to purchase a non-necessity, then you have to tell yourself to wait until you can afford it.
• Parenting Tip: If there are things your children really want, tell them to add it to their Christmas list or birthday list.  This will not only make these celebrations more exciting, it will also help steer your children away from a “have it all, have it NOW” mentality.  You can also use these items they want as rewards for them.  Buying them whatever they want, whenever they want will not only be bad for your checkbook, your children will never learn how to live within their means or discipline.

These are just a few tips I have for you. What areas do you struggle with living outside of your means?  What steps have you taken to help yourself live within your means?  How are you teaching your children to live within their means?