The Mom Crowd

What do you do if your child comes to you and wants _____ that you think are too expensive?

In our case that is shoes.  Our 5 year old saw a commercial for a brand of shoes and was convinced that the shoes would help him run faster.  He has recently grown out of his old shoes and does need new ones.  When I looked up how much the shoes he wants are I thought, “No way am I paying for those!”  At first I wanted to tell him that we were not getting those shoes because they are too expensive.  I knew that answer wouldn’t really make a lot of sense to him and would probably make him angry.   My husband reminded me that it could be a good life lesson and that we should think about approaching it from a different angle.

My husband asked me how much I would normally spend on shoes for the boys.  I told him and we came up with a strategy to help the 5 year old learn about managing money.  We also wanted to guide him and help him make a decision that he could be happy with.

We looked online with the 5 year old at the shoes he wants.  We did tell him that the shoes cost more than we want to spend on the shoes but that he did have some options. We told him that we would pay for a certain amount of the shoes and that he would have to come up with the rest of the money. We asked him if he would like to know what other kids do when they want something that costs more than they have.  He said, “Sure!”

We said that some kids:

• save up their birthday money and use it to buy something they want
• ask their parents, grandparents, neighbors if they have extra jobs they can pay him for
• choose to buy something less expensive that is within their budget
• wait for it to go on sale

He thought about it and he either wants to save some of his birthday money or do extra jobs to make up the difference.  As soon as he can pay up then we will happily take him out shopping.  We feel good that he is learning about how to live within a budget and work hard for the extra things he wants.  We shared that we have to make those same decisions when we want to buy things that are cost more than we have in our budget.  We feel like it is a real world learning opportunity for him–he’ll have to make lots of similar decisions about money as he grows up.

We look forward to using this strategy more as these situations come up more often in the future. I think he’ll feel good about participating in buying something that he wants.  If he figures out that those shoes won’t actually make him run faster then he’ll also learn another good life lesson.

How do you handle it when your kids want something that you think is too expensive?  What do you tell your kids?

**photo courtesy of   flickr’s plasticrevolver

This last week, I volunteered at my church’s Vacation Bible School.  It was a wonderful time, but incredibly exhausting!  Our church’s VBS was in the evenings from 6:30-9:15.  I volunteered very last minute as a crew leader, which meant I was responsible for taking 5-7 children through each VBS station.  The first night was overwhelming for me.  I had six children in my crew.  The two boys in my crew were hyper and wild!  I was constantly having to shhh! them and remind them to listen.  I had one little girl who wasn’t content unless all four of her limbs were wrapped around my leg.  In addition to a group of energetic children, I was performing all of the high energy songs and dance moves, mediating arguments over who was going to sit by me, and hunting down the nurse for icepacks for boo-boos.  I got home after those first two nights feeling completely drained and over-stimulated.  However, toward the middle of the week, I started feeling like I was getting to know these children better and started noticing the numberous positive qualities that each of them had.  I started looking forward to seeing them and following up on the stories they shared with me the evening prior.  It was wonderful and inspiring to see their love for God and I finished the week feeling as though I had a positive impact on these children’s lives and that they had taught me something about the simplicity of faith. 

Our church went all out for Vacation Bible School.  Our theme (like many churches this summer) was Crocodile Dock.  We went through the week’s swamp theme, stopping at a snack, game, interactive Bible story, craft, candle-light discussion, and large group stations.  The kids had a blast learning about Moses, the plagues, and telling the Pharoah to “let my people go!”  Every night we learned about how much God loves us and that we should “FEAR NOT!”  One of the most awesome experiences of my week was when one of my little guys told me that he was sad his friend wasn’t there.  He thought she was going to come and she wasn’t.  Tuesday evening, we prayed that she would come and I can not even describe the look on his face when he saw her on Wednesday night.  He was so excited that God answered his prayer and was overjoyed at the gift he had in communicating with God.  All he spoke about the remainder of the week was about how God heard his prayer.  I loved being a crew leader and even though it was exhausting, I would totally do it again! 

My own children are still too young to participate in Vacation Bible School, but I can’t wait for them to be a part of it!  Here are some reasons I think parents should sign their children up for Vacation Bible School.

•  You get a several hour break from your kids every day for a week!
• Your children will be in a loving environment with people who care about their well-being.
• Your kids will have a blast!  There is no such thing as a boring VBS!
• VBS will reinforce what you have been trying to teach your children about God, if you are a Christian.
• VBS is a good way for you to get to know a church that you do not attend if you are looking for a church home.

Have your children attended VBS’s this summer or in summers past?  Have you ever volunteered at a VBS at your church?

My son recently turned 4 and we wanted to have a special birthday party for him and all of his friends. Being on a very tight budget meant that we had to be extra thrifty, but we didn’t want to skimp on the fun. We had some ideas of places we would have liked to have the party, but once I called and got the information on the locations, I sat at the desk thinking how absurd it was to spend $200 on a birthday party for a 4 year old (just for room rental and maybe 2 hours of playtime). The days of the $50 all inclusive party at McDonald’s are no more and parents are now faced with growing pressure to have the fanciest and most extravagent parties for their children, even toddlers and preschoolers.

We opted to have Andrew’s party at our home and just tried to make the best of it.  He had more fun than we could have imagined.  He was just so excited to have his friends over to play and show off the Mickey Mouse cake that I made for him, he didn’t even know that it wasn’t a “cool” party!

Here are some money saving ideas to remember when planning your little one’s next party:

1.  Have your party at home or at a local park -  Parties at home or the park can be just as much fun as those at more expensive venues.  Parties at the inflatable rooms can cost you hundreds of dollars and don’t include cake or snacks.  Your party at home (or the park) can be as cheap or as pricey as you are comfortable with.  A home party provides comfort for your guests and a park give you free entertainment!

2. Not every decoration has to be themed – While it’s tempting to go buy out the party store of all the cups, plates, napkins, table coverings, etc of your child’s favorite character, it’s just not necessary.  Buy a few select items at the party store, then stop at the dollar store for coordinating solid colored plates, napkins and utensils.  A few accent pieces are fine, but there is a such thing as overkill!

3.  Party favors don’t have to be store bought – Consider buying clear treat bags from the craft store and baking cookies as party favors.  Simple cut-out cookies in the shape of your child’s favorite character or a cookie with the guest children’s names on them are more special than the junk trinkets that usually find their way home from parties.  Another alternative is to print out coloring pages from the internet and give a small 8-count box of crayons as a party favor.

4. Bake your own cake – A simple dollar white cake mix and your favorite homemade buttercream icing make for a delicious treat.  Go to websites like Wilton to learn simple decorating techniques that will impress your friends and make your child’s cake extra special.  Also, you can always find small figurines at the dollar store or party supply store that can make your child’s cake really special and tailor made.  Let your child help you stir the icing or place the figurines to get them more excited about their special cake.

5.  Your love, not your pocketbook are what your child will remember the most – No matter how much or how little you spend on your child’s birthday party, the most important thing you can do for them is show them how much you love them.  THAT is what they will always remember!

What are some of YOUR favorite childhood birthday party memories?  Do you have any tips you would be willing to share on having a fun and relatively inexpensive birthday party?

Photo Courtesy of martin_kelley

Last week, my son was stung by a wasp on his hand.  He didn’t cry and he didn’t have a reaction until about two days later.  His entire hand was swollen and red.  I called my pediatrician and the nurse told me to just keep an eye on it and to bring him in if it became hot to the touch.  It cleared up after about two days of redness and swelling.  The day after it cleared up, he was stung by another wasp!  (We found the nest and my husband has reclaimed our backyard from those horrible creatures!)  Again, we didn’t notice any reaction at all and he didn’t cry or act like it hurt.  Two days later, his entire arm was swollen and this time, incredibly hot to the touch.  There was a huge red spot covering his entire bicep.  While the reaction was similar to the first sting, it was a lot more intense.  So, I called the doctor and he wanted me to bring him in.  I shamefully told him that my son had been stung by wasps twice in the same week and reassured him we found the nest.  The doctor thinks it is at high risk of becoming infected, so we were given instructions to prevent infection, which could turn to a staph infection.  I didn’t know that wasp and bee stings could lead to infection.  It makes sense when I think about it, but I thought allergic reactions such as breathing difficulty were the only real risk of wasp or bee stings.

So, until my son’s boo boo heals, we are to do the following:

• Use ice to relieve pain or discomfort
• Apply hydrocortisone cream to it twice a day
• Take over-the-counter Zyrtec instead of Benedryl because our doctor thinks it works better and my son becomes hyper and wirey on Benedryl, which is opposite most children.
• Clean it twice a day with a clorox/water solution.  I have never in my life heard a medical professional direct someone to use clorox bleach, so this was interesting to me.
• Fill a prescription for a steroid cream and have it on hand in case the red spot becomes streaky or asymmetrical and call or take him to the hospital right away.

I initially felt silly even being concerned about my son’s wasp sting, especially since I had already called the pediatrician last week about the same issue.  I tend to write off what I consider small medical issues because I have three children who all carry their own set of more major medical issues as it is.  But I am glad I listened to my gut that this reaction was worse than last week’s reaction.  I have learned in parenting and medical care for my children is that medical professionals are paid by me (and my insurance) to answer my medical questions and treat my children, so I have given up on feeling guilty about using the service that I am paying for.  Besides, what a parent may think is minor, may actually end up being serious, so it’s always better safe than sorry!

Have your children had a reaction to bee or wasp stings?  Am I the only one whose never heard of cleaning an infected area with a clorox/water solution?

My son’s second birthday is coming up next week and I just realized that it’s been a year since he’s had his picture formally taken.  Not only that, but his big sister (now over 3 years old) hasn’t had hers done since her first birthday.  I realize that I am probably in the minority here; my nephews, for example, have their pictures taken 3 or 4 times a year.  Here are my reasons for not getting professional pictures done more frequently:

• we’re cheap we don’t have a budget for it
• I take a zillion pictures of my children throughout the year; their lives are well-documented
• I’m lazy
• it’s a high-stress situation for me, and I tend to avoid high-stress situations whenever possible
• our family has not made a habit of it – my husband and I have never even had professional shots done!  (A friend did our wedding pictures.)

It’s gotten to the point that I just don’t even think about it – until we receive a wallet-size from a family member or friend in the mail.  Then I’m like, “Oh shoot!  I should really do that.  Maybe this Christmas…”  And Christmas comes & goes.  Or, I keep thinking our church will do another pictorial directory and we’ll just get it done then.

How often do you get your kids’ pictures taken?  Is it a high-stress situation for you?  What has made your picture-taking experiences less stressful?