The Mom Crowd

Sometimes babies need a little extra medical attention when they are born and need to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. There are many reasons why a newborn would need to visit the NICU. The NICU can be an uncomfortable, scary, intimidating environment. I have spent 15 days in the NICU and many days in various hospital rooms. Some simple things like making sure every nurse in the hospital had our cell phone numbers, posting pictures of our family on my daughter’s bassinet, bringing in the mobile from her empty crib at home, and calling dibs on the next open comfy recliner made our stay more comfortable. There are many other things you can do to make your NICU stay less intimidating and more comfortable.

Create your own privacy

• NICU’s are typically the least private areas of the hospital. While being in a “fishbowl,” it’s important to create some privacy for you and your baby while you’re visiting. Most hospitals will provide screens that you can arrange around your child’s bassinet during breastfeeding or bonding time. Take advantage of those screens!

Kangaroo Care

• Kangaroo Care is a special type of bonding with your newborn. It’s basically just skin to skin holding by undressing your newborn and unbuttoning the front of your shirt. This is great for any newborn, but it’s especially important for babies who aren’t able to go home right after their births. Moms AND Dads can do Kangaroo Care. The benefits of Kangaroo Care can be found here.

This is YOUR baby, not the hospital’s

• When Darah was in the NICU, I felt like the hospital owned her. I wasn’t very proactive in her care because I felt like I would mess everything up. I wish I would have been stronger about voicing my concerns or insisting that I do her basic care when I was present. If you want to give your baby his or her bath or next feeding, then tell your nurse. Do not be late for these appointments because your nurse has other patients they need to attend to and most NICU’s operate in a very structured manner.

Learn the “rules”

• There is usually a limit on number of visitors, age of visitors, and who is allowed to hold the baby. Visitors (and parents) who are sick are to stay away and everyone must go through a hand-washing ritual with surgical scrub brushes.
• If you have a friend whose child is in the NICU, make sure you are following the rules. It made me frustrated when I had to remind people to wash their hands. If you’re a smoker, make sure you put a clean shirt on that you haven’t smoked in before visiting. Second hand smoke is the last thing any newborn needs, especially one with medical issues.

Go Home!

• Spending every minute of your day by your baby’s bassinet will deplete you of the energy you need when your baby comes home from the hospital. If you live far from your child’s hospital, look for the closest Ronald McDonald House and bunk there at night. I stayed at the RMH of Dallas for 6 weeks during one of Darah’s hospital stays, and was able to rest, eat (food they provided!), and meet other families so I was not so lonely.

Take care of YOU!

• You just had a baby and you need to recover (physically and emotionally)! Do not overdo it. If you’re having a hard time emotionally, ask your doctor for a support group of other moms in the NICU or suggestions on coping emotionally. Be watchful for signs of postpartum depression. Make sure you eat and are getting breaks from the hospital.

Most important: Ask questions!!!

• If you don’t understand something, keep asking for answers! If you are not comfortable with something, insist that you receive a better explanation. While these nurses and doctors probably do know more about your child’s health, this is YOUR child and you are an important player in their medical team. Keep a journal of your child’s medical information. Include feeding schedules, weight, medications, procedures, and any new diagnosis in this journal. Darah almost received a very wrong dosage of heart medication, but because my husband and I were aware of her medications, we interrupted what could have been catastrophic! After you leave the NICU, you will have a new title: Momologist, which is just as more important than any other “ologist” (pumonologist, cardiologist, hematologist, oncologist, neurologist, etc..) who takes care of you child!

Check out these informative sites:
Neonatal Nursery

When Your Child’s in the NICU

What has been your experience in the NICU? What helped make your stay more pleasant?

There are only five more days left until Father’s Day! It’s time to show the fathers and grandfathers to our children how much they are loved and appreciated! My favorite gifts for Mother’s Day are the personalized ones. I am a sucker for cards with poems about two tiny handprints! My husband really likes personalized gifts as well, although he also is a sucker for anything “Spurs” related. For Mother’s Day each year, my husband has the children create artwork for me. I have a collection of the sweetest paintings and cards the kids have made with their dad over the past four years. Here are some gift ideas for Dad!

Children’s Books about Dad

• My children always give their dad a children’s book about Dad so he can read it to them at bed-time. He really likes this tradition. Here are some children’s books about Dad: “Froggy’s Day with Dad” by Jonathan London, “Father’s Day” by Anne F. Rockwell, “My Dad!” by Charles Fuge, “The Day the Dog Dressed Like Dad” by Tom Amico. Head over to your local bookstore and you’re bound to find a whole section of children’s books about Dad ready for Father’s Day.

Personalized Photo Book

• You can make a personalized photo book on Shutterfly, Snapfish, and similar photo hosting sites. All you have to do is upload the pictures, arrange them on their templates, type in any special wording you would like and wait for the order to arrive. Don’t forget to hunt for coupon codes before pressing “Submit payment.” My friend did this for her husband and I thought it was a GREAT gift idea!

Day of Pampering

• Start his day off with a special breakfast, give him a massage (or a massage gift certificate!), rent one of those action movies he keeps wanting to see that you keep rolling your eyes at, remind your kids all day that Father’s Day is all about Daddy! You can also have the kids make him a homemade coupon book. The coupons can include washing the car, household chores, foot rubs, 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to watch sports, etc…

Photo Shoot

• Have professional pictures taken of your kids without telling him, or include yourself in the photo shoot. You can also give him a gift certificate for a “Daddy and kids” photo shoot or a whole family photo shoot. You can buy a cute frame for his desk at work or have the kids decorate a frame for him.

Guitar Hero

• What Dad doesn’t like Guitar Hero? Even dads who don’t typically “game” will enjoy this game! You will probably enjoy it as well! It’s my favorite past time these days.

What’s his “thing?”

• As mentioned above, my husband loves the Spurs. When I’m in a rut for finding a good gift for my husband, I can usually drive up to the Spurs gift shop and find at least one gift that is sure to please him. Other gift ideas include purchasing a Sports Illustrated cover of his favorite athlete and framing it for him, hiring a tennis instructor, increasing his hard drive space on his computer, or planning a fishing trip for him. Think about what your husband enjoys doing and you’re sure to have a few great gift idea for him!

What about your ideas? Do you know any other great gift ideas for Dad?

SAHM is the internet savvy way of saying “Stay-at- Home-Mom.” Stay-at-home Moms choose for many reasons to stay home with their children. For some, the costs of childcare outweigh the income made if the mom worked outside the home. Other moms are miserable working their 9-5 job and are looking for a change of pace. Other moms choose to forego the workforce so they can spend that time with their children. No matter the reason, there are millions of women who are SAHM.

Ask any SAHM and you’ll receive a laundry list of job titles she holds. Childcare worker, teacher, taxi driver, facilities manager, short-order cook, laundry attendant, janitor, counselor, CEO, entertainer, personal stylist, administrative assistant, accounting clerk, nurse, plumber, automotive mechanic, and cake decorator are only a few of her job titles.

While there is no monetary compensation or typical work benefits like 401k’s or sick leave, there are a lot of satisfying rewards in being a SAHM. The obvious include being there with your children for every milestone, boo-boo, and story time. The not so obvious (and somewhat selfish) benefits include, having breaks for yourself when the kids are napping, all day pajama days, and a more flexible schedule (unless Connor is your child, requiring you to be home for his 9:00am and 1:00pm naps because he is too cool to sleep in the car. LOL!)

The hardest part of being a SAHM for me is that I have three bosses (my husband, Darah, and Connor) who do not always synchronize their job assignments for their lowly slave me. Even with the most supportive of husbands, sometimes he will expect things of me that are just not possible depending on the mood of the day. Some days are very laid back and I’m able to shorten my to-do list. Other days are so chatoic and I’m unable to accomplish anything! These days may include a sick child, a child who won’t nap but desperately needs one, or a child who takes off his poopy diaper and smears it all over his crib. The “more flexible” schedule comes at the cost of having to be on call of untimely events.

I found this article which outlines four things every SAHM needs to know. These four things include:

1. Be proud of what you do.
2. Keep in touch with friends.
3. Stay organized.
4. Get in touch with your creative side.

What are your days like? Do you find your job as a SAHM harder or easier than when you worked?

Darah and Connor are into everything! They’re incredibly nosy and love snooping in trashcans, couch cushions, and cabinets. When we went on vacation, I knew I was going to have to be a few steps ahead of them if I didn’t want to constantly be saying, “don’t touch that,” “put that down,” “out of your mouth,” “leave that door shut,” “honey, can you please keep that away from him?” Taking a few extra moments to plan for the very un-baby proofed hotel room we were going to be staying at worked to everyone’s advantage.

Baby Level

• Get down at your baby’s level and crawl around your entire hotel room looking for choking hazards, sharp edges, or anything that may be dangerous for your child. You’d be surprised at the odd things left behind from the previous guests in your room under the beds, in the chair cushion, and in the drawers. If you have a child who can open doors, bring along a couple of doorknob covers.

Duct tape

• Duct tape will seriously be your best ali in baby proofing your hotel room. Cover outlets, tape up cables and cords, keep those closet doors that don’t have latches shut, and latch those drawers shut all with duct tape!

Balconies and Windows

• Make sure that your child cannot open the door to your balcony and that the window coverings do not pose a danger to your curious child. Cords hanging from the blinds can be extremely dangerous, so make sure they are not in your child’s reach

Restraint

• Make sure you call ahead and request a crib for your child to sleep in, or pack your pack-and-play. My three year old is in a big-girl bed, however we made sure she had a pack-and-play crib to sleep in at night. Not only did this keep my children safe at night, it also served as a great time-out for my three year old when she was acting naughty.

Bath-time

• I brought my own comet and sponge to clean the bathtub out for my kids. You don’t have to be that crazy like me, however you do need to make sure you keep an eye on the bathwater temperature! Hotels sometimes do not set their water heaters to the same level yours is at home, and so the water can get extremely hot very fast!

Common Sense

• Never leave your child alone. You can take all the precautions you want, but you will never have a completely baby proofed room. Don’t forget the lock the deadbolt on your door as well to keep anyone with access to your room OUT!

What baby proofing tricks do you use when you’re on vacation?

Darah and I attended a Music Together class when she was 18 months old. It was one of the most enjoyable things I’ve done with Darah. In Music Together, we sang a lot of fun songs, did a lot of dancing and silly movements, played with cool instruments, and just had a really good time! The teacher encouraged the parents to get very involved during the classes, and we all just fed off the teacher’s high energy and zany personality. For the past six weeks, I have had the wonderful opportunity of attending a Kindermusik class with Darah (now 3 1/2) and Connor (17 months old). At first, I was going to attend with Darah only, but due to the difficulty in arranging sitting for him during our class, I decided to sign him up as well. Kindermusik is very similar to Music Together, however the Kindermusik class seemed to explore the body and movements while singing or listening to music, while Music Together seemed to explore the actual music more. I think you get just as much out of both of the programs, just a little different.

The first week of Kindermusik was difficult because Connor didn’t want to attend to anything we were doing and I was split between both children. If I think hard about it though, none of the children were perfectly attending to the class, so I think I probably was more stressed out about it than necessary. Since that first week, the kids have grown so much in their music exploration. Darah really never had much of a problem attending to the group songs and activities like Connor did, but she still has learned how to follow the direction of the teacher, move fast-and-slow, start-and-stop her instrument or movement, transition between songs and activities. Connor, though has grown up so much during our class. The first session, he threw major temper tantrums when it was time to transition. When we would put up the maracas, he would cry and run away with his maracas. When the teacher started singing her “drums away” song, he would grip his drum even harder while crying. I left thinking he just wasn’t mature enough for a group activity like Kindermusik. By week two, he got a little better about it, and even though I would have to pry each instrument away from him when it was time to transition, the crying didn’t turn into all out temper tantrums. By week three, though, he would start putting his instrument up when the teacher started singing the transition song. There were still tears, but he was following direction. Last week, he actually seemed to look forward to the transition to see what was coming next. He eyed the hoola hoops the whole time and every time the transition song would start, he’d clean up and run over to the hoola hoops, hoping this was the transition that was going to lead to them. There were still some tears, but he was in no way uncontrollable, and I loved that he was following direction so well.

The last six weeks has been a very enjoyable time for me and my children. I am so glad that I didn’t find a babysitter for him during the music class and went ahead and signed him up as well. I’m sad that this session is finishing, but you better believe we’ll be signing up for another one!

I strongly recommend you find a Kindermusik or Music Together or Gymboree music class in your area to try. Most locations will let you try out a class for FREE!!

Have you been to a Mommy and Me Music class? What did you think? What other fun activities have you done with your baby or toddler?