The Mom Crowd

It seems that I’ve been catching a lot of flicks lately that involve mother-child relationships.  I guess it’s a common theme in storytelling: the power of a mother’s love, and the ties that bind a mother and her child together.   

If you like watching movies and spending time with your mom, here are some movies you might enjoy seeing together for a moms’ night in:

• Under the Same Moon.  Recently released on dvd, this is about a young boy separated from his mother.  He’s in Mexico with his ill grandmother, and she’s in California trying to make a new life for them.  Eventually, she was hoping she could have him join her in the States.  This story is centered around current immigration issues and the hardships of poor families trying to survive in an unfriendly culture.  The little boy is adorable, and I enjoyed watching him interact with everyone he came into contact with.  It’s An American Tail for grownups.  Here’s the trailer:

• Mamma Mia!  Also just released on dvd.  How many of you went and saw this in the theater?  Were there any men anywhere?    I saw this on a girls’ night out and couldn’t stop laughing.  It’s definitely fun and silly, perfect for a night with your musical-loving mom.  A friend of mine recently shared with me that she watched this two times in a row with her mom, using the dvd’s sing-along feature.  Mother-daughter bonding at its finest!    Here’s a brief bit from a touching scene with Meryl Streep (as mother Donna) and Amanda Seyfried (as daughter Sophie):

• The Visitor.  Another tale of immigration woes, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie starring Academy Award-nominee (for this role) Richard Jenkins.  He befriends a Syrian musician named Tarek, who is detained in New York City for his illegal status.  Halfway through the movie, Tarek’s mother appears, and her character is a gentle study in the measure of a mother’s love.  If you can’t see this with your mom, see it with anyone.  It’s very, very good.  See from the trailer, which makes me cry:

• The Mirror Has Two Faces.  Ever since I’ve started writing for The Mom Crowd, I’ve looked for a way to mention this oldie-but-goodie directed by and starring Barbra Streisand.  I watch it about once a year.  Barbra is Rose Morgan, a single and brilliant literature professor who falls for a geeky, handsome math professor on the same New York campus (I think it’s Columbia U.).  Lurking in the background of this experimental relationship is Rose’s mother, played by the legendary Lauren Bacall (Academy Award nominee for this role).  The mother-daughter relationship in this story is fascinating to me – Bacall is all high-fashion glamour, and Rose is the “ugly-duckling” daughter at odds with her.  Rose’s transformation from an insecure lonelyheart into a self-confident woman hinges on a single key scene with her mom.  Watch for it.  Here’s another favorite scene, both for the mother-daughter dynamic I’ve described and because Jeff Bridges is so sweet in it (first 3 minutes):

What are your favorite mother-child movies?  Any favorites you like to watch with Mom?  Are you now humming “Mamma Mia”?  Is it weird that Pierce Brosnan appears in two of the four movies I’ve listed?

Baby-naming is on our minds here at The Mom Crowd this week: it’s time for another round of celebrity baby names!  About a year ago, I posted on this topic, and now I can’t help but be curious any time a celebrity has a child.  What will their name be?  Will it be “normal” or totally wacky?  Here’s what I’ve found for 2008:

• Nouns are still a trend for first and middle names.  Jessica Alba named her little girl Honor.  Nicole Kidman’s new daughter is Sunday Rose.  Mary Lynn Rajskub (“24″) named her son Valentine.  Chris Noth’s son is Orion. 
• Naming the kids after places is becoming popular.  Gwen Stefani’s new son is named Zuma Nesta Rock – Zuma is the name of a favorite beach in California.  Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz went even nuttier with Bronx Mowgli.  I’m sure the more we hear about it, the more normal it will seem.  I just hope we don’t start seeing Manhattan Ariel or Long Island Simba on a list anytime soon.
• Confusion is the key!  Lots of celebribabies will have plenty of awkward introductions in their futures when they spout out their mouthful of monikers: Jerry O’Connell & Rebecca Romijn named their twin girls Charlie Tamara Tulip and Dolly Rebecca Rose.  (Not only do you have to keep those flowers straight, you have to remember that Charlie is a girl.)  Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck decided to name their second daughter Seraphina Rose Elizabeth.  And Lisa Bonet clearly wins this category with Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha, her son’s new name.
• As thrice displayed, Rose makes a lovely middle name.
• Pretty and classic are still around!  Yay for Max (Christina Aguilera and J. Lo), Levi (Matthew McConaughey), Thomas David (Jack Black), Luke (Natalie Morales), and Stella (Tori Spelling)!

My favorites from this year are Emme (J. Lo & Marc Anthony’s daughter) – though I can’t figure out how to say it still, is it “Emmmm” or “Emmy”? – and Vivienne Marcheline (Brangelina).  I love the way those beautiful long French names roll off the tongue.

What are your favorite celebrity baby names from this past year?  Biggest head-scratcher?  Are you now more or less likely to choose Rose as a middle name?

This is a quote from a video I saw on Yahoo! this week.  It featured a mom named Erica, who writes for The Boston Globe and a mom website, Bo-Moms.   She was talking about whether or not Facebook makes you a bad mom.  The interview highlighted the pros and cons of online interaction with friends throughout the day, namely through Facebook, and concluded that, like any other hobby that a mom has, it is healthy – in moderation.

I enjoyed the interview, basically because I felt like I could relate to Erica so well.  She shared a story about her 2-year old physically grabbing her hand off of her mouse in an attempt to get her attention.  Yeah, occasionally things like that happen around here.  

I am a huge fan of Facebook.  It is a great way for me to stay connected to all of my dear, distant friends – and like the moms mentioned in the video, it helps me feel connected to the world outside my own little house.  I occasionally have an intelligent thought rattling around my brain – one not related to grilled cheese sandwiches or potty-training – and I relish the opportunity to share those thoughts with someone older than the age of 3.  Facebook is fabulous for that.

I always hear people say, “It’s a time-waster!” Yes, it certainly can be!  The key is however much time we spend on Facebook or any other internet activity is really our choice.  The interview discusses this: making a plan that suits your family best, whether it’s to get online for 30 minutes a day or to wait till the kids are asleep (which is what I do), and to keep family time the first priority.  If it’s something that keeps your emotional well-being strong, it’s not a bad thing.  Erica also says that “you’ll just know” if it’s taking too much of your time, the same way we try to keep our other hobbies in check.  At that point, we should just turn off the computer and settle in doing something else (with the kids!).

Do you use Facebook?  Do you like it?  How do you keep a healthy balance of internet time (or “me” time) and family time?  All practical suggestions are welcome!

For her second birthday, my daughter Lucy received a video: Bear In the Big Blue House, and it was all about potty training.  Over & over we’d watch it, and I had all the suggestions and songs memorized.  11 months ago, that marked the start of potty training in our house.  Looking back, I can see that while it may have taught Lucy a thing or two, it was probably a little soon.  She saw the video as entertainment and showed no signs of being ready for a potty.

Every now & then over the past year, she’d sit on her little potty, but only sporadically would she go.  There were times I thought she was ready, only to find out it was a little phase of interest.  She was still filling up diapers on a regular basis and never talked about the potty.  We incorporated all kinds of incentives, like stickers and candy.  Still, she would never initiate the process.  It took all kinds of urging.

To my relief, about a month ago, Lucy started telling us that she wanted to go.  This was a huge turning point.  At Christmas, when my mom was visiting, I said, “Oh, it’s going to be so much work.”  I was referring to the dozens of times we’d be in the bathroom each day, going through the whole routine, washing our hands.  My mom said, “It’ll be hard at first.  Then it’ll start to get easier.”  Between Christmas and New Year’s, I had a whole week at home with Lucy, so I knew it was time to get it done.  No more excuses. 

Here’s what I did/do.  I went by gut instinct and read no books or blogs on this matter (I’m lazy that way.):

• I removed all of Lucy’s diapers.  I figured, if they’re not there, we won’t use them.  Time for underwear all the time at home.  Pull-ups for naptime, bedtime, and for away trips.
• I remind Lucy to use the potty about every 15-30 minutes.  Some people set timers for this.  I tried that, but it wasn’t necessary.  I’m a good nag.  If she hesitates, I’ll remind her of a sticker or candy (or both) as a reward.  Sometimes that works.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes she is willing to go.  Sometimes she isn’t.  The more I nag, the less interested she becomes.  So I try to remind her in moderation.
• I repeat the same phrases so they became a part of her vocabulary.  “I have to go potty.”  “Keeping my undies dry – that is the goal.”  “Now is a time to hold it.” “Only babies go pee-pee in the car.” “I’m so proud!”  “I did it!”  I sing songs about these things before, during, and after.  She sings them too.
• One time, I knew she had to go, but I didn’t say anything.  I just shut up and watched her.  About a minute later, she got up by herself, didn’t say anything, and went to the bathroom.  Once, she left the room to take care of her business in the middle of watching a video, which was shocking to me.  Success!!
• I use anything as an incentive now.  If she brings me a book to read, I’ll say, “I’ll read this to you right after you use the potty.”  If she asks for a cup of milk, I’ll say, “Go on the potty and you can have some milk right after.”  Done.  She’s peeing.
• I remind her to brag about her accomplishments to everyone who’ll listen: Daddy, her pre-school teacher, her friends, my friends, etc.  This garners so much praise for her that she stays motivated.  A couple of days ago, for example, she went 3 times at her friend’s house during playgroup, twice self-initiated.
• I emphasize how much better underwear feels than a diaper.

The challenge for us now is transitioning to full-time potty usage at other places.  We’ve got it down at home pretty great – what about car trips, visits to church or friends’ homes, and pre-school? (Not to mention overnight!)  I’ll be trial-and-erroring it in all those situations.  Little by little, she’s making up her mind that underwear is better than diapers/pull-ups.  I can see that we’re almost there – and I’ll be so relieved when it’s behind us.

I’ll close with a song from the aforementioned video:

I realize that there is a lot of information available about potty-training, and I just wanted to share a bit of our story today.  What are your potty-training success stories?  Is this the worst part of raising toddlers (it ranks down there for me, because of the energy it requires)?  Any tips or suggestions for the transition to staying dry everywhere? 

One of the best things about the Christmas season is watching classic Christmas movies.  My husband’s favorite is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  My favorites are It’s A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story.  I just realized that they all have a long-suffering wife/mother figure.  Something about the stress of the holidays, huh?  Poor Ellen Griswold is always running around, simultaneously trying to support Clark while cleaning up his messes.  Mary Bailey has four little ones to look after, and a husband who’s miserable.  (Remember the scene where he yells at the kids’ teacher on the phone?)  And Ralphie’s mom is a classic representation of motherhood: always making dinner, trying to keep the Old Man happy, and lovingly raising two boys.  She’s my favorite.

What movie does your family watch every Christmas?   

Here’s one of my favorite scenes from A Christmas Story, re-cut for some added laughs.