The Mom Crowd

Okay, I know times are tough (are you tired of hearing that?) and we are all looking for ways to be frugal and save money.  I have come across a few things that I love so I thought I’d share–from one mom to another .

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Postpartum doula services have been around for several years now.  When I hear of women talk about doulas they usually refer to birth doulas and not postpartum doulas.  I know that most of our readers are moms—some of you pregnant with your first child, others with your second, third (or more!), or have friends who are pregnant.  I thought that I would highlight some of the benefits of a postpartum doula for any of you who are interested in hiring one for yourself, a friend, or a family member.

For any readers who are not familiar with a birth doula (Greek for “a woman who serves”), a doula is hired by a mother and father to provide additional labor support to the mother.  The doula’s job is not to take away from the father’s role during the birth, but is there to offer suggestions for coping with contractions and to help the parents follow their birth plan.  A birth doula also provides emotional support and helps parents make informed decisions during the birth.

A postpartum doula helps with newborn care, breastfeeding, meal preparation, some light housework, help siblings, and general education of caring for newborns. One of the couples (and now friends) from my birth classes had a difficult birth and decided to hire a postpartum doula to help with the transition of becoming a mother and being at home with the baby.  The mother and father have their own business so the dad wasn’t able to take a huge amount of time off to help her recover from the birth and take care of her and the baby.  Their extended family situation is unique (and not necessarily helpful) and they felt like they would benefit from the services of a postpartum doula.

The doula service they hired required a minimum of 15 hours and the hours of service are flexible.  My friend has found it to be such a blessing.  It has been great for my friend to not have to worry about making lunches or doing some simple tidying around the house.  In my birth class we cover newborn care in the last class.  I pass out a worksheet that covers how much time it takes to take care of a baby (and yourself). Parents are usually surprised that taking care of a baby takes so much time away from those daily tasks of laundry and meal making.  Hiring a postpartum doula can take some of that extra stress away from the new parents.

As she was telling me her birth story and talking about her postpartum doula, I thought that hiring a postpartum doula for a 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th time mom would be a blessing.  Most mammas get a baby shower when they are pregnant with their first baby.  And many mammas have friends and family who arrange for meals to be brought to the house after a baby arrives.  I thought that in addition to bringing meals that a group of friends could pool some money together and hire a postpartum doula for a friend.  1st time or 4th time mammas would benefit from such a great gift!

Postpartum doulas are often flexible in their schedules and can come a few times a week, a few hours daily or however a family wants to work it. Doulas are professionals who have received several hours of training and are trained to be supportive to a family’s parenting style.  If you are planning on hiring a doula for your postpartum care, you can interview or meet them before choosing them.  To find a postpartum doula in your area you can go to the DONA website and look up more information on doulas.

So, what do you think?  Have you had a postpartum doula? Know anyone who has?  What was your experience?

- photo courtesy of genevieve_southern

All the moms I know love it when their babies nap. When babies get out of that newborn stage where they sleep anywhere and everywhere sometimes napping gets a little more challenging. Once the baby is a few months old and mommy has to go back to work, take care of other kids at home, actually get some cleaning and laundry done….you know what I am saying– it is wonderful when the baby sleeps for a good long chunk during the day so some of those things can get done. It is so relieving for many moms when babies learn to nap in their bed, on the floor, in a stroller, in a car seat…..point being when the baby doesn’t have to be held every time he needs to sleep. Some babies just don’t transition from that newborn “I’m going to be such a laid back, easy sleeping baby” to napping on their own very well.

Have you ever rocked and rocked your baby to sleep only to have him wake up 20 minutes after you lay him down? Do you get stressed out if your baby fusses or cries before falling asleep? Would you prefer to help your baby nap well without letting him cry? Do you wonder why your baby can only sleep for 45 minutes during a nap? Have you ever wondered when your baby needs to drop a nap? Will your baby only go to sleep if you nurse him to sleep? Does your baby/toddler have a hard time napping in general? Do you struggle with having a consistent bedtime/naptime routine? Do you wonder how much sleep your baby/toddler/preschooler needs over a 24 hour period? Do you feel like you’ve tried everything and you still need help getting your child to nap?

If you answered YES to any (or all!) of these questions, then you will probably enjoy The No-Cry Nap Solution. Especially if you are fond of gentle, gradual change that includes as little crying from the baby as possible. I found this book very easy to read and it truly did address many problems that parents face when it comes to children and napping. Elizabeth Pantley offers several step-by-step guides in her book and is very gentle in her approach to getting children into a good napping routine. Her approach is compassionate and also practical.

When I got the book in the mail, I first skimmed it to see what she had to say about situations that I am currently facing with 2 of my children. My youngest (16 months) still takes 2 naps a day and I am ready for him to go down to one. I wanted to see what she had to say about dropping the morning nap. She has a list of criteria to help you determine if your baby still needs 2 naps. After reading her list (very helpful!), I determined that Graham isn’t ready to drop his morning nap. Then I skimmed the chapter on how to know if your child is ready to drop naps all together. Again, very helpful–and she had a GREAT section on how to create a good “hush hour” for your non-napping children. She had some sample daily sleep/nap/activity schedules to help guide you as you create healthy sleep routines for your kids. Again, very helpful.

Then I read the book from the beginning. She covers why naps are vital for a child’s development (and a parent’s sanity), she has a nap plan worksheet to help you decide what steps to take next, and is very encouraging to keep trying while figuring it all out. This book is a good choice to read even for parents who want to help prevent sleep problems with their newborn baby. She offers several suggestions for parents to start practicing right from the beginning.

I have been a big fan of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, since I read it 5 years ago. I found that The No Cry Nap Solution has very similar theories and ideas as Healthy Sleep Habits. The No Cry Nap Solution is much more practical and easy to read than Healthy Sleep Habits. For parents who tend to have more of an “attachment parenting” style I think The No Cry Nap Solution is a GREAT choice. Even parents who are in more of the “BabyWise” or “don’t mind if your babies learn how to soothe themselves to sleep” camp will appreciate all the suggestions and information the book offers. I found that Pantley is more comfortable with allowing a baby to nap in a swing, stroller, bouncy seat, car ride (motion sleep) than I am. In the early newborn stage when babies fall asleep so easily, motion sleep makes sense because that is what babies are used to. I found from my own experience that swing naps or car naps were not as restorative as when my kids slept in their own beds. Pantley is much more gradual in her approach (than I have been) to getting kids to sleep in their beds rather than a swing or moving stroller during naptime. To Pantley’s credit, she does have a clear plan/outline for parents on how to switch from a motion nap to a motionless nap. It just takes longer than the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child way.

I enjoyed reading this book and give it a thumb’s up review. If you have read any of Elizabeth Pantley’s other books and enjoyed them, then no doubt you will enjoy this one as well.

For discussion: What nap problems are you dealing with right now? Let’s comiserate together!

 I have been thinking about holiday traditions the past few days.  Mostly, I have been feeling anxious about whether or not my family has any.  My kids are now to an age where traditions seem to be part of their development because they understand more about what is going on around them and they want to participate. When I mentioned it to my husband this evening, he was perplexed as to why I felt like we don’t have any. We put up a tree, do an advent calendar, read the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas morning, open presents….. It was then I was able to clarify that I feel like we are missing something UNIQUE to our little family unit.  What is something that we do over the holidays that incorporates fun and sentiment all in one scoop?

 This year I thought we’d make some roll out sugar cookies together and that maybe THAT could be our special thing. Except when it came down to it, I felt more like Monica Gellar from Friends wanting to shout at the children, “Wait!  You don’t know the system!” And part of me wanted the cookies to look pretty and professional.  The kids had fun dumping out piles of sprinkles over the freshly iced cookies and licking their fingers every few seconds. So much for pretty symmetrically decorated cookies.  At dinner when we were debriefing the whole experience my oldest shared, “Mommy didn’t let us touch anything.”  That isn’t true–I did let them use the cookie cutters but I had to tell them to wait several times–my rationalization is that it was my first time making rolled sugar cookies and I was figuring it out for myself first before I let them help me very much.  All I could see was warped cookies not being picked up carefully and so much sprinkles around me I thought I was at the beach.  In the moment I was thinking that maybe this isn’t what one of our traditions should be.  I have to learn to have more fun and not care if the whole house gets trashed with cookie sprinkles while the baby swipes freshly cut out cookie dough from the cookie sheets. 

 One thing we have done and are planning on doing again is to gather some other friends and go Christmas caroling in our neighborhood. We did that 2 years ago and it really made an impression on our oldest son.  He has asked if we are going this year again.  We are having people meet us at our house after an early dinner and then we will go out for an hour to sing to the neighbors.  We’ll come back to our house for some hot chocolate and desserts to warm up again. 

 Maybe we don’t need any more traditions than what we do have.  Maybe I’m putting too much stock in the need to be unique. Maybe my kids will remember making cookies and going Christmas caroling with fondness and feel all kinds of nostalgia when they think back on their childhood.  I hope so.

 But, I am wondering, what do you do for your special Christmas or holiday traditions? When did you start doing them? Were your traditions passed on from when you were a kid?

As someone who likes to live Green (I have much higher hopes that I will one day do much better than I currently am doing), I was recently challenged to try a new way of living.  Going paperless.  That’s right, no disposable papers in the house.  Wipes, toilet paper, diapers, paper towels, kleenex, napkins, menstral pads and tampons….But one thing at a time.  It is overwhelming to try and do it all at once.

 We have pretty much been paper towel-less for a few years because we were given 2 bags of  microfiber cloths from Sams.  I pretty much use those for EVERYTHING.  The only thing I use paper towels for is to make bacon in the microwave.  It was an easy transition for us.  I also started using the Diva Cup a few years ago and have enjoyed that.  Disposable menstral pads drive me crazy and irritate my skin and I don’t like the idea of using chemical products “up there.” I haven’t tried cloth menstral pads yet but I would like to try them as a back up to the Diva Cup.

 We have posted before about cloth diapers and the benefits but there are many other things we also can do to reduce our waste. I realize that this post will probably elicit verbal noises from you while you read it but it should make for an interesting, and hopefully not revolting read for you. 

I recently read a post from another blogger who has decided to cut down on her toilet paper use by using cloth wipes instead.  

She is just using the wipes for pee and not poop.  As I was enjoying my time on the internet I went down some bunny trails to other bloggers who have also written ab

out going toilet paper-less.  One woman has a great post about what her family does and how her toilet paper-less system works (a lovely basket that holds clean pee wipes, a wipes warmer for clean poop wipes, and a dirty wipes bag).  She does keep a roll of paper t.p. on hand for guests who feel uncomfortable using the cloth wipes.    

 I have to admit, I was inspired.  Why use scratchy toilet paper when you can use soft flannel or cotton?  Why pay for something that can be washed and reused? I can use a small trash can with a lid to put the dirty cloth wipes in between washes. I could probably get a wipes warmer from Freecycle or Craig’s List. I think cloth wipes are more effecient no matter where you are wiping. I use fewer cloth wipes than disposable wipes when changing a dirty diaper.  It might take a bit to get over the whole big kid/grown up poop thing…but how much different is it than using cloth diapers and wipes on babies and toddlers?  Not much, really.  And I have seen a lot of poop over the past 5 years. 

 We already use cloth diapers so what is a few more wipes to the laundry?   Making your own cloth wipes for baby bums or your own is not very expensive at all.  All you need is some soft flannel from the fabric store and a sewing machine.  You can read about how to make your own here and here.  The latter tells you how you can make your own by reusing all those extra flannel receiving blankets you got from your baby showers.   I am not much of a sew-er but I can definitely do that!

 When I told my husband about my new inspiration he gave me “that look” that said, WHAT?!  Really?  And then he said, “Um, can we talk about this later?  I think I need a little more time to digest another crunchy idea of yours.” So, he’s digesting and I am formulating how many wipes I think I will need to supply our family bathroom habits.  I don’t know how much toilet paper your kids use but now that mine wipe themselves, we go through toilet paper like crazy and I am not too fond of jammed toilets.  I’m all for saving pennies–and time not spent unclogging the toilet.  

 My thought it that it might be a little extra laundry but the “nether-regions” of my family will appreciate the softness of the cloth toilet paper and I will enjoy not spending so much money on toilet paper at the store.  Just for fun, I also came across this: The Biffy.  When my husband saw that you could have your own personal toilet bidet he said,  ”No way are we getting one of those!” I don’t see myself purchasing a Biffy anytime soon. 

So, any thoughts?  Anyone want to join me in the change over from toilet paper to cloth toilet wipes? Tell us if it grosses you out or if you think it is something you might consider doing!