The Mom Crowd

I was going to write a post on Co-sleepers for this week but I had such a spontaneous art afternoon with my 5 year old that I had to share!It is now officially fall and here in Pennsylvania the leaves are turning beautiful colors of orange, pink, red, and yellow.  Driving through the valleys makes me wish I had a convertible so I could take in the beauty.  Every time I look out the window in the backyard I see leaves falling and drifting down to find a place to land in the grass.My 5 year old, Ewan, had an idea to go out and rake the leaves in the backyard–so he could jump in them, of course.  The other 2 boys were napping and I like to use that time to spend some quality time with Ewan.  In my head I could do several things at once (us moms  are so good at multi-tasking, aren’t we?)–I could spend time with Ewan, AND get the leaves raked, AND burn some calories too.  Score!We finished the backyard and moved into the front yard.  We have a beautiful Maple tree in the front yard that is also shedding its beautiful red leaves.  As we were finishing our raking, Ewan suggested that we pick some leaves so we could paint around them and make a collage.I couldn’t believe that my son was suggesting we do an art project together!  He isn’t necessarily a crafty kid.  I told him we could do whatever he wanted.  So he picked out some leaves of different sizes and we brought them in.Here is what you need for the project:

• Washable Tempera Paints
• Paint Brushes
• Paper
• Flat leaves of various sizes  (you don’t want them curled too much because it makes them harder to paint over)
• Paper towels
• A cup with water for rinsing the paint brush
• A plate (paper or plastic) for a pallet

As we were working on our project, Ewan shared that he had read about this project in a book at school and thought it would be fun to try.  It was so fun for him to tell me his idea and how to do the project!1. We used extra large 12″X18″ finger painting paper for our project.2. We set the paper on the table and then placed the leaves in a random pattern on the paper.3. We got our paint brushes loaded with paint and got ready to paint over the leaves.4. I helped Ewan hold down the leaves on his paper so he could paint around them leaving a white spot in the shape of the leaf.5. When he was done painting around the leaf we took the leaf off of the paper and set it on a paper towel to keep the table clean.When we were done, I thought the pictures came out great and it was a very simple project.  I was having so much fun with it that I wanted try some different variations with the paints. Even though Ewan was excited about his idea, it didn’t mean that he wanted to spend an hour doing it! So, I didn’t make a lot of them but i did have fun. We did take the leftover leaves that were covered in paint and made prints of them too.I think that this project would be great for kids 2 years and older.  Obviously, the younger the child, the more help he/she will need.  Two year olds will love going on a leaf hunt, picking up leaves, and trying to paint over them.  Just be prepared with a wet towel nearby for paint spills!I hope that you enjoy making this project with your kids as much as I did!  If you decide to make this project, take a picture of it, post it on your blog and leave a comment with a link so we can see your own budding artists at work!

No one likes switching doctors. It is a pain to do–especially when you are pregnant but sometimes it is worth it. There is no rule that says that you can’t switch providers during your pregnancy. Some women put up with poor service from their doctors or their staff because they feel the hassle of changing providers is too complicated. And we feel guilty and don’t want to make anyone feel bad. Some women stay with their doctors for future pregnancies even if their doctor left a bad taste in their mouth from their first pregnancy. Well ladies, I am here to encourage you to break free and find a provider that you feel comfortable with, that doesn’t make medical decisions based on their fear of being sued, and who will support the choices you want to make during your pregnancy or well-woman health care.

Even if you aren’t interested in an unmedicated, natural birth, there are some things to look out for that tell you a doctor has a bad habit of meddling in labor when it isn’t necessary. It is important for us to voice our concerns to the people we trust for our healthcare. I cannot even begin to stress how important it is for us to also take charge and responsibility for our own health. Educate yourself, ask questions, read books and be your own advocate!

I have compiled a list of “red flags” for you to consider as you think about your experience with your own Ob/Gyn:

Your doctor starts pressuring you to have a c-section as early as 28 weeks for fear of a large baby.

Your doctor’s c-section rate is at or above the national rate (33%).

Your doctor patronizes you or mocks you for wanting a birth plan or a natural birth.

Your doctor has an episiotomy rate over 30%.

Your doctor doesn’t fully inform you of the risks on induction, c-section, epidural etc.

Your doctor will only allow you to push your baby out with your legs/feet in the stirrups and/or on your back. (Feels uncomfortable with hands and knees or squatting or whatever position you want to birth in)

Your doctor’s routine procedure for induction is to break the bag of waters early on in labor.

Your doctor uses cytotec for labor induction. (Run the other direction!)

Your doctor makes you feel stupid when you ask questions or share how you feel about pregnancy, procedures, birth, or your general health.

Your doctor makes you feel bad about your weight gain but doesn’t offer you any guidance on nutrition or diet.

If you want a natural birth with minimal interventions:

Your doctor says things that aren’t supportive of your desire to have an unmedicated birth. For example, “you don’t need to suffer needlessly…the drugs are safe for the baby…good luck with that…”

Your doctor requires continuous electric fetal monitoring.

This is by no means an exhaustive list but it is a start. If your doctor or practice makes you feel uncomfortable at all or if you have a gut feeling that leaves you uneasy as you interact with them then consider switching practices. Emotional relaxation during labor is very important and if you feel uneasy around your birth team then it can have a negative impact on labor.

You will remember your birth for the rest of your life so it is important to go to someone who treats you with dignity, respect, and care. Doctors don’t have emotional attachments with all their patients and will not be offended if you switch your care to someone else. Many doctors are overbooked (How many times have you had to wait and wait to see your doc only to feel rushed during appointments?) and will not be personally offended if you switch providers. You don’t have to tell them why at all–unless you want to.

If you are looking for a more personal care style for your womanly health care then I would encourage you to see midwives for your pregnancy and well-woman visits. Many certified nurse midwives also do yearly exams. There are many women who enjoy the holisitic care that midwives offer but still prefer epidurals or need c-sections for their births.

Finding a doctor or midwife that you feel comfortable with may be a challenge but it is worth the extra time and effort!

Have you ever switched doctors? What’s your story?

The baby, Graham, is getting closer to walking every week.  And now I am in the process of getting him some shoes so that when we go outside his little toes won’t get too cold.  I recently purchased some Robeez Tredz shoes which are absolutely adorable.  I liked the idea of the Tredz because we live in a cooler, rainy climate and thought that a more water resistant shoe that was still soft soled would be a good choice.  I used the Robeez soft soled shoes for both the older boys for the first 6 months to year after they started walking.  I had read about all the advantages of the soft soled shoes and knew that spending lots of time walking barefoot or close to it would help their feet develop properly. Plus, I love that they are easy to get on and don’t come off easily either.

Unfortunately I had to guess at his foot size and got the 12-16 month size.  Graham just turned 1 but I couldn’t get his squishy, fat feet in the shoes.  I tried jamming them in but it was no use–they weren’t going in. It looked like I was trying to wrestle an alligator as I tried getting his foot in that shoe.  So now I have to send them back to the online store and either get the larger size or try a different shoe.  My concern is that the larger 16-20 month size will still be too narrow. I had this same problem with my second child. He had fat feet and I had a terrible time finding shoes for him.  He wore Robeez for a long time because I couldn’t find shoes for him.

I know it is good for babies to walk barefoot as much as possible but we like to go outside a lot and the weather is already cooling off into the low 50s in the mornings. I don’t want his little toes to fall off from frostbite.  So what do I do?  I don’t want to go from store to store trying to find flexible shoes that fit his feet. And I don’t want to keep returning shoes that don’t fit either.  I am on the hunt for the perfect walking shoe for babies.  Can you help me?

Does anyone else have this problem?  What did you do?  What shoes have you found to work great for your beginning walkers?  Or your kids that have wide feet?

You know how they say that hindsight is 20/20? Sometimes I wish I had a chart on how many times I would have avoided something had I listened to my instinct that something wasn’t quite right.  I think that we were created with an ability to detect problems and sense things in our children so that we can protect them.  Haven’t you ever had your “mama bear” come out when your child needed you? Maybe another child was hitting your kid at the playground or another family member was taking a dig at your little one.  Aren’t we willing to go to great costs to protect our children? If you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, we have been given a gift to know when something is right with our kids–emotionally, physically, mentally.  I know there have been times when others have told me that everything was probably fine when it turns out that it wasn’t.  Sometimes others doubt our instinct.  Sure, we aren’t right 100% of the time–but I am a big believer in listening to your gut.

We took the baby to the ophthalmologist today because I finally listened to my instinct.  Several months ago I noticed that Graham’s right eye looked crossed when he would turn his head to look at something.  When I brought it up to the pediatrician he said he thought it was probably pseudostrabismus which is basically an illusion of the eyes crossing.  He told us to watch and see if the light reflection in the irises of the eyes was in the same place and that if it wasn’t it to set up an appointment for a pediactric ophthalmologist.  He felt pretty certain that it was pseudostrabismus since Graham’s eyes seemed normal otherwise and we couldn’t get him to do it in the office.  Trying to find the reflection of light in the eyes is very difficult to do in a baby because they don’t tend to stay in one place for long.  We started watching for the light reflection in his eyes and from what we could tell it seemed like pseudostrabismus.  But something in my gut was telling me to call the eye doctor. My husband and I kept paying attention and trying to get the baby to turn his head to make his eye cross.  I had a feeling I should call just to get a second opinion and then one day my husband noticed the light reflection wasn’t in the same place in his eyes.  So I set up the appointment.

It turns out that Graham has Duane Syndrome. It is not a serious condition–and the problem isn’t that his right eye crosses–it is that his left eye can’t move to the right or left very well. It can only look straight ahead so it looks like his other eye is crossing in.There is no treatment for it because the nerves that control the muscles were miswired while developing in the womb.  There is a possibility that surgery could be needed later if he has to keep his head turned in order to see straight.  While I was listening to the doctor tell me about the syndrome I was so thankful that I took him in.  I was glad I listened to my instinct to get it checked out.  Now I know what is wrong with his eyes and I know what problems to look out for.  And now I won’t worry that something really is wrong even though the pediatrician said it was probably fine.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, Ewan, we had been going to an OB recommended to us by a friend.  As we went through our childbirth classes and I was learning about all the different options I had for labor and birth I started feeling like sticking with that OB would not have been a good choice.  I started feeling like I would have ended up with a general barking orders at me while he gave me an unwanted episiotomy.  So we switched to another OB and ended up having a great birth where I felt safe and in control.  Of course it is hard to say what would have happened exactly had we stayed with the other doctor but my instinct told me to switch and I am glad I did!  It started me on a journey to help women be empowered to birth their babies.

Instinct is a very powerful thing.  Especially when it comes to protecting our children or ensuring what is best for them.  So, if you have that nagging feeling in your gut about something, listen to it.  Get it checked out–even if others are telling you different. Maybe it will turn out to be nothing but you might be right and you’ll be glad you did.

What stories do you have where you listened to your gut and were glad you did?

I think I have a record player, or should I say cd player, implanted in my brain.  It causes my voice to repeat things over and over.  Does this happen to you too?

I enjoy the tracks where my mouth says things like “I love you”.  Things like “we don’t put pillows over the baby’s head”, not so much. When it comes down to it, sometimes I get so tired of repeating the same things over and over, know what I mean?

Things like:

• Stop whining!
• Get off of your brother; He is asking (okay screaming) for you to stop sitting on him.
• Please follow mommy’s directions.
• Will you please stop leaning on me and sit all the way in your chair (at dinner).
• Trowing a fit will not get you what you want.
• Pick up your toys or they will be taken away the next time I come in here and they aren’t picked up.
• We don’t hit in our house, we use our hands to show love.
• Don’t run away from me!
• If you get up from time-out before the timer goes off there will be further consequences.
• Get in your car seat!
• Why are you out of bed?
• Because I asked you to do ________.
• Go to the potty BEFORE any pee-pee gets in your underwear!

I think I might have said all of those things in one day!  The trick is to say all of these things in a voice that isn’t angry.  And boy does that get hard when I’m tired–or just sick and tired of repeating the same things over annoying behavior.  The truth is that I should not be surprised that my children misbehave and don’t do everything they are supposed to do.  Shocking, I know.  They are kids and they aren’t perfect–just like I am not.  But in all honesty, sometimes I wish that they never misbehaved. I have to remind myself that their mistakes are chances for them to grow in their character (mine too) and opportunities for me to show them that I love them despite their misbehavior or bad choices.

Sometimes when the broken record is playing I have flashbacks into my own childhood when my mom would say some of those same things to me.  So weird.My hope is that on the days where I am repeating all the “behavior correction” tracks that I can squeeze in the tracks that tell them:

• I love you.
• Let’s have some special play time.
• You are important to me.
• I’m so glad you are mine.
• I love how God made you.
• You are significant.

I once heard that for every criticism you tell a child they need to hear 5 positive things about themselves.  That is hard to do some days.  I find it too easy to get into the pattern of just correcting behavior and being nitpicky rather than enjoying the day given to me and cherishing the everyday moments with my child. I mean, if I ask one of my kids to put something away and they want to spin in circles instead of walk on the way to putting it away, does it really matter?  I’m learning how to let some of those things go so I can spend more time loving on my kids and laughing with them.

What phrases do you find yourself saying over and over again?  Is there anything you say now that your parents used to say to you?  And tell me your secret about how you speak kindly to your kids when they are whining about wanting to watch TV for the 150th time that day!