The Mom Crowd

Recently someone asked me, “What determines your success as a parent?” I immediately thought about when I worry and my husband tells me, “Ace is okay and she is growing and doing well. You are doing a great job. Don’t worry.” So my answer to the question was my daughter is alive and healthy and developing, so I must be doing a good job. Those first appointments at the Pediatrician’s office felt like my scorecard. My daughter’s weight indicated that I was doing a good job feeding her. She passed all the developmental milestones, so I was doing great. Right?

John MacArthur says, “Success in parenting is measured by what the parents do, not by what the child does.”

My daughter’s development, behavior, and weight are not true reflections of how well I am doing as a parent. What matters most is that I am doing all I can to ensure her well-being and to raise her according to the standards that my family agrees upon. McKenna’s post about Mommy Guilt quoted an article by Lori Radun. Part of the quote says, “acknowledge that you are not responsible for everything your child(ren) do.” We are responsible for some things that our children do, but not everything. We can’t control every health issue and behavior in our children.

There is freedom when you realize that even if your child doesn’t turn out the way you guide them, you are still a success because you loved and disciplined them the best you knew how. My desire is that my daughter will be a woman of integrity, compassionate, unselfish and generous. If she does not exhibit those characteristics doesn’t mean I am not a success as a parent. Those traits are up to her. I can only guide her and be an example myself. Then I am a success as a parent.

How about you? How do you determine if you are a success as a parent? Do you agree with John MacArthur’s quote?

My friend Natalie recently emailed me asking for support and encouragement, because she is feeling the nauseating effects of morning, noon, and night sickness. She knew that I could empathize with her pain because I had terrible morning sickness the first 19 weeks of my pregnancy. Feeling nauseated and vomiting all day long is one of the most horrible feelings in the world! For all you moms out there that never got any morning sickness, count your blessings! For those of us that are experiencing the joys of vomiting every day or who have – here are some tips to help get you through that horrible phase of pregnancy.

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Our newest sponsor, Baby Cakes, has graciously offered you, our fabulous reader, a 10% discount code to be used at her super-cute online store. Baby Cakes offers fun and trendy baby gear, accessories, apparel, and toys for babies and toddlers. To receive 10% off your order use Promotion Code “momcrowd” at check out. This offer is good through June 1, 2008.

Here are a few of my favorite items from her store. Please click on the photo for more information!

Many times my ten month old crawls over to me while I am busy emailing and checking updates online. I pick her up on my lap and together we enjoy watching YouTube videos. Ace jumps up and down on my lap and talks back to the monitor while we watch. We tend to watch the same videos each time, so I researched YouTube and found a few more videos that we can watch together.

Below I list 36 videos that are kid-safe and won’t annoy you. The videos are divided into seven sections: Pop Stars and Kid Shows, Classics, YouTube Classics, Geography Songs, Laurie Berkner Band, Nickelodeon, Tiny Toons, and Ralph’s world. To view the videos click on the photo of the video. So grab your little one and enjoy!

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Of course we all believe that our kids are a blessing, but what message are we sending our children? If they are a gift to you, do they know it? When they just spilled milk all over the couch they may not feel like a blessing at that moment, but we do have times when we can express our love for them.

What are the words that you say to them? Even caring and loving parents may not send the right message if their words don’t back up their intentions. Telling your kids that they were an accident, even in a joking manner, may communicate the message that they weren’t wanted.

My parenting class asks, “Are they an interruption or a part of your dreams and goals?” A child may even feel their parent’s resentment, because a parent had to give up their dreams when they learned that they were pregnant. I really hope that my baby is a part of what we do. I had the option of staying home with her for two weeks or bring my baby and go with my husband and friends to the Philippines from Texas. My husband and I thought and prayed about it. We reminded ourselves of our goal to include our children in our trips. So she became a part of our dreams and goals and we all went on the trip.

Have you told them? Kids like to hear it straight. Saying the words “I am so glad I get to be your mom (or dad).” to them sends a message that they are significant and that they matter.

My daughter is only ten months old, but I believe she can already tell how much we love her. One way that I show my baby how much I love her is by jumping up and down and clapping when I go get her from her nap. I say, ”I am so glad to see you!” when I first walk in, even though she only napped for 45 minutes and I am certainly not done returning emails and switching loads. My baby would definitely get a different message if I growled at her when I walked in and unhappily changed her diaper.

Spending time with your children and telling them how much you love them will help them see themselves as a blessing to you.

How do you show your kids that they are a blessing to you?