The Mom Crowd

Tara Parker-Pope reports today in the The New York Times about a study from Oxford and the University of Exeter in England that claims that a baby’s gender may be determined by the mother’s diet. According to the study those mothers who have a higher glucose level have a better chance of having a son. Generally, women who eat breakfast maintain a higher glucose level.

The data is based on a study of 740 first-time pregnant mothers in Britain who didn’t know the sex of their fetus. They provided records of their eating habits before and during the early stages of pregnancy, and researchers analyzed the data based on estimated calorie intake at the time of conception. Among women who ate the most, 56 percent had sons, compared with 45 percent among women who ate the least. As well as consuming more calories, women who had sons were more likely to have eaten a higher quantity and wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12. There was also a strong correlation between women eating breakfast cereals and producing sons.

The study does acknowledge that a baby’s gender is determined by the male sperm with an X or Y chromosome, but the condition of the mom may have an influence.

Frankly, I find this as silly as people telling me that I was having a boy, because I was carrying high. (I actually had a girl.) Although, maybe next time I am trying to conceive I won’t feel as guilty eating all my breakfast cheerios.

Do you believe that the report could be true? What other things have you heard to try when trying to conceive for a particular gender?

My goal is to breastfeed my daughter until she is one year old. Once she turns one she can switch to cow’s milk. Ace turns 1 in less than three weeks. Lately I have been thinking about my goal to nurse for a year and the decision to wean. I have already begun the weaning process. She only nurses about twice a day and can use a sippy cup if she needs to. I have never really pumped. I never expected the decision to wean to be so emotional.

All my personal reasons to stop nursing aren’t a factor anymore. I wear underwire bras again. I occasionally drink a glass of wine after Ace is down for the night. It doesn’t take Ace long to nurse. It only happens two or three times a day. I am not nervous about nursing in public anymore. The only personal reason that I have left is so I can take antihistamines and certain antibiotics if I get sick.

The convenience of nursing is awesome. I hate doing dishes. I don’t have to go downstairs first thing in the morning to make a cup of milk. My husband usually gets up with me, changes Ace’s diaper and then brings her to me in bed. Right now the convenience outweighs the alternative for me.

My daughter is small for her age as she is normally in the 20th percentile for height and weight. I like that she is still small, so it doesn’t seem weird to me to nurse her. Although when she sits up and nurses it’s a little bit weird. Sometimes I feel like a soda fountain at a buffet.

Nursing has definitely given me a bond with my daughter that I didn’t expect. I had heard about nursing creating a bond between you and your baby, but I didn’t understand what my friends meant. Now I feel like I know. When she nurses we have a connection that I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t nursed.

Ace is increasingly getting more adventurous and doesn’t want to be held as much. My little baby is turning into a toddler. I am not ready to fully wean her, because I am not ready for her to grow up. I didn’t think the first year would go by so quickly. Especially not in her second month when I wasn’t getting any sleep and nursing around the clock. But now she is almost one year old and I need to make a decision.

I know Ace may wean herself any day. My friend Kristin’s son just stopped nursing two weeks before his one-year birthday. There have been two nights where Ace didn’t want to nurse, because she was too full from dinner. It actually made me a little sad.

Right now I am going to continue to nurse past the first year until I have a peace about stopping or Ace isn’t interested anymore. I am happy with this unexpected decision.

I would love to hear your stories! When did you stop nursing? Did your baby wean themselves or did you wean them? How did you make your decision?

Jenn from Life on a Whim suggested that we write an article on “How to avoid being like our Mothers.” As I thought about the topic I realized that we can’t avoid it. We will be like our parents in some small way whether we like it or not. You can read Jenn’s thoughts in her post, “Help! I am Becoming My Mother” here. Below are my thoughts on the subject.

Every person has good and bad traits. McKenna’s post last week talked about how our kids copy what we do. The same holds true for us! Even as adults we pick up on the habits of our parents and copy them. I used to hate it when my husband would say to me, “You just sounded like your mother.” My perception of my mother is not always flattering, so I would take offense to that remark. Now I have to come realize it is inevitable – I am going to be like my mom. But it is up to me which traits I choose to emulate.

It is important to recognize the bad behaviors in your parents and sincerely ask yourself and your spouse if you are acting the same way. For instance, how do they handle conflict? Do they yell and scream or play the cold war? Is your mom a nag? Is your mom selfish and self-seeking? For example, my mother is a screamer and yeller when she gets angry. I have had to work through my anger reactions to not replicate what she does. Also, when I am on the phone with her she doesn’t really take an interest in my life and what is going on with me. Sometimes I do try to bring up something that I think she would understand and somehow the conversation immediately goes back to her. So I have learned that I need to take a genuine interest in others and don’t talk about myself all the time. Sometimes we don’t think about our parents’ bad traits, but I believe that if we stop and recognize them then we have a chance at not duplicating them in our lives.

The good traits that we happen to copy from our parents can be a good thing. There are some moms that we can even aspire to be like. I don’t try to be like my parents, but it still happens. My mom enjoys sending gifts and little notes. I often find myself giving little gifts and mailing notes to my friends. My father likes to experiment with recipes. Many times I will just wing it when making dinner and figure it out. Daniel usually asks me, “What did you do it this time?” It is almost impossible to avoid being like our parents in some way. Hopefully, we will be like our parents good traits, instead of the bad ones.

How are you like your mother? Are there any traits in your parents that you have had to ensure that you don’t copy? Has anyone ever told you that you like your mother? How does that make you feel?

This is a guest post from my friend Myra at Moon and Back Studios. Myra is a talented designer and the mom of a very picky eater (see photo).

I’ve been cursed. Not in the pin in the voodoo doll sort of way. I’m talking about the kinds of curses parents put on their kids. You see, I was once a picky eater. I remember pushing my mom to the limits at meal time. And I vividly recall worrying about going to a friend’s house for dinner for fear they would serve something with fresh tomatoes (yuck), avocadoes (double yuck) or liver (the very worst yuck of all). Of course, there were many other foods that made The List, but even I couldn’t hold a candle to the Little Man (LM). And I had no idea what was in store for me.

But first my disclaimer: I write this in the spirit of McKenna’s recent article. I truly am not competitive about LM’s picky eating. I’m not proud of it. In fact, it might be one of the most frustrating experiences of my life, and certainly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Now here’s the part that might sound unbelievable but I promise it’s true. I am convinced that the picky problem started with LM at birth. It seemed as though I had the only child in the world who wouldn’t latch on. I went to the breastfeeding classes (alone) and knew all about its merits. So naturally, when LM refused breastfeeding, like any first time mother, I worried he might have severe nutritional deficits. Maybe even graduate at the bottom of his class. Or worse. So I pumped. Then, at just two weeks LM wound up in the hospital for a two week stay. But that’s a whole other story.

During the time in the hospital, I still diligently pumped. But LM hated breast milk, even with me on a bland diet. So we tried formula. Then colic ensued. So our pediatrician suggested Nutramagin. Worse colic. So the doctor prescribed another brand that was something like $30 for a 3 day supply. You’d think at that price the brand would be burned in my brain. It made the colic only slightly better.

We were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist who told us if he had a nickel for every baby he saw with colic, he’d be a rich man. He patted us on the back, suggested we get some sleep (no – really?), and sent us home. Thanks for that. And my PPO thanks you too.

Fast forward to the LM at 2. At this age, he was too old for the four kinds of baby food he was willing to eat, so we tried to introduce “real” food. While trying to convince him that Cheerios are super fun “kid food”, he would gag violently when a single one was placed in his mouth. Finally, he was willing to eat PBJ sandwiches, but only when cut into bite-sized pieces that could be stabbed with a baby fork. Eventually, with some persuading from his aunt, he tried Goldfish crackers. Ahh, making progress. Then he added applesauce and yogurt. And of course, anything from the dessert food group was fair game. But there it stopped. For THREE years.

When I asked my pediatrician for advice, she lectured me about not giving in. She implied that I was being controlled by my child. But my husband and I are pretty strict parents. We haven’t raised a little dictator who rules our home.

The pediatrician suggested that we put food in front of the LM and when he got hungry enough, he’d eat. “Don’t be a short order cook,” she warned. So we tried. And in the spirit of the game, the LM raised the ante to an all out, 2 ½ day hunger strike. He was miserable, but not as miserable as we were. I felt like the worst mom on the planet. So on the third day, I made the PBJ and handed him the baby fork.

Now LM is five years old. Every single bite of every meal must be negotiated. We make deals about “healthy food” so he can have “snack food.” Until just recently, going to a restaurant required packing a meal that fit nicely in my purse. And really, that was quite easy. PBJ, Goldfish crackers and applesauce don’t take much room in a nice sized bucket bag. Restaurant dining with family also included (and still does) knowing stares from relatives who think we’re pushovers and should do a better job standing our ground. But what’s the point of shoving food into the LM’s mouth while he gags to the point of throwing up? Believe me, there were moments of desperation where I tried that. It didn’t work.

We had a mini breakthrough on the way to my birthday dinner in January. LM announced from the backseat, “you know, I might try something healthy tonight.” Just like that. We ordered grilled chicken and green beans, and he actually ate some. That was his first taste of meat since the ground up mystery meat in the baby food.

Since the breakthrough on my birthday, we’ve added chicken nugget Happy Meals to the menu selection. He tried the hamburger version first, and promptly informed me that “the brown stuff in the middle is gross mom.” But I don’t eat it either, so I can live with that.
When we’re invited to a birthday party, I try not to stare wistfully at the kids hungrily shoving pizza in their mouths. We wouldn’t have any of that. Instead, LM waits patiently while they eat, content with the knowledge that cake is on the way.

So, back to McKenna’s post and the spirit this is written. Please outdo me! I want to be one-upped. I want to know there are moms out there with experiences like mine – maybe even worse. And maybe someone will have some brilliant advice. All I want is to be an underachiever.

For the record, I could very easily lapse into ordering at a restaurant in a very When Harry Met Sally kind of way. But I do my best to refrain from requests for “on the side” because I don’t want to be one of them. But I still will not touch a raw tomato.

Our friends over at DoesMommyLoveIt.com is giving away three copies of the book, The Baby Gizmo Buying Guide. All you have to do is stop by their post and comment to enter! But you better hurry, because the contest ends tomorrow.