The Mom Crowd

I have been surveying a lot of my friends about what they feed their kids. I needed ideas on what to feed my 17 month old daughter and I wanted to know how my daughter’s diet compared with her peers. Turns out that that my daughter is normal. Since Annabelle has moved on from mashed baby food she has become picky, moody, and is eating less.

My pediatrician warned me that my baby’s appetite will decrease, because she isn’t growing as fast. She also told me that she won’t eat when she isn’t hungry. It makes sense, but sometimes you need a reminder.

My friends confirmed that being picky is perfectly normal at this age. It is frustrating when one day they love strawberries only to push them away the next day. My friend Myra wrote a phenomenal guest blog post here about her son’s picky eating habits. I think about that post often. Annabelle isn’t that picky, but I now understand better where Myra is coming from. She wrote about being judged in restaurants when she fed her son a PB&J. Now I feed Annabelle whatever she will eat, just to keep her in her seat and not to make a disturbance when we eat out. At home I try to be more strict and let her pout a little until she does calm down and eat whatever I placed on her tray.

I did get a few suggestions from my friends about food ideas. My friend Sarah made me feel better about feeding my child canned vegetables. They are soft and ready to go. Another friend only gets her daughter to eat protein once a day.

I could beat myself up about what my daughter eats, but I decided not to. In the last three days she has had cheese pizza, french fries, and pancakes. Not the food of champions. I used to pride myself in making homemade baby food and now I cheer if my daughter eats her chicken nuggets. Ensuring that my daughter actually eats the nutrition she needs is stressful, but it all comes along with the territory of parenting an increasingly independent toddler.

What do you feed your toddler? Do you have a picky eater? Do you find feeding your toddler stressful?

Mothers have a security gland and when that security glad is beeping it is hard to ignore.  Some of us may fear for the future of our family and our nation, because the media is constantly over sensationalizing our nation’s current economic downturn. Here are 7 facts that you may not hear from the news outlets that will help decrease your fears of the future.

1. Today’s economic crisis is NOT like The Great Depression. Historians have deeply studied the problems leading up to the Great Depression in 1929 and we don’t have same problems today. The FDIC did not exist yet, we are now a service based economy versus a manufacturing economy, farming is not our main source of jobs, and trading between countries has become easier. In 1929 the unemployment rate was 25%. This past July it was 5.7%. For a more in depth look at how we are different today I would highly recommend reading this 1-page PDF.

2. Think long term when you look at your 401k and your investments. A lot of us have seen our retirement accounts and mutual funds take a dip. My only comfort is that investing is over a 5 year period. The market naturally goes up and down. We have seen bear markets in the past and on average they last 10 months. The only people who get hurt on a roller coaster are those who jump off midway through the ride.

3. The DOW only represents 30 companies. So when you hear that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is down, remember that it only measures 30 of the thousands of publicly traded companies.

4. The FDIC insures your money in the bank up to $100,000. As long as your money is in an account at a bank that is FDIC insured, then your money is safe. There is no need to pull it out and hide it under the mattress. Who of us has more than 100,000 dollars in one bank account anyway?

5.  There ARE companies who are winning in this economy. We keep hearing about Wachovia, Washington Mutual, AIG, and other companies that are going bankrupt or being bought out, but smaller banks and companies are gaining from their downturns.

6. Buying single stocks are risky. According to Dave Ramsey, ” Looking back at the last 78 years, the performance of the stock market as a whole has averaged near 12 percent annually; yet the average return of the single stock investor is closer to 7 percent annually. “  If we play the single stock game, then we inherently have more risk to lose our money. Honestly, I don’t know any of my friends who are playing the stock market. If we keep to a good growth stock mutual fund then we will be alright.

7. You have more effect on your destiny than Washington. We live in a land of opportunity. We get to chose our own career paths. According to ‘The Millionaire Next Door’ 80% of America’s millionaires are first-generation rich. We have our personal responsibility to take charge of our lives and care for ourselves. Washington may not spend our tax dollars with wisdom, but we do have a say in our spend and earn our own money. When you have goals and plans for your money, you have a lot more peace about the future.

Additional Resources:

Putting ‘Panic’ in Perspective: 6 facts to help dispel the fear and 10 key reminders for investors
The 2008 credit crisis: A step-by-step look at how we got here
Investing a Bear Market
Having a Monthly Family Budget Meeting
We Are Not Headed for a Great Depression
A new Great Depression? It’s different this time
5 Myths of the Financial Crisis

Many of us don’t have time to read the paper or watch the news. (Most of it is fear-mongering anyway, but that is an entirely different story.) So I am sharing some headlines that have been in the news lately that may be of interest of interest to us moms. Starting off with one of my most favorite foods on the planet, cereal. Seriously, do you remember that episode of Seinfeld with Janeane Garofalo where she even orders cereal at a restaurant and eats it for lunch? I am close to loving cereal that much.

• Consumer Reports Rates 27 Different Kids Cereal – Based on the cereal’s fiber, sugar, calories, and nutritional content in a serving the top four cereals are plain Cheerios, Kix, Life, and Honey Nut Cheerios (yay!). The worst cereals are Post’s Golden Crisp and Kellogg’s Honey Smacks, Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops, Cap’n Crunch, and Pops. You have to be a member of Consumer Reports to get the full report, but WebMD does a good job summarizes the report.

• New Blood Tests During Early Pregnancy for Down syndrome – Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences came out with a report yesterday from a few doctors who are testing the pregnant mother’s blood, because some of the fetus’ blood ends up in the mother’s blood. They are looking for extra chromosomes usually found in Down syndrome, Edward syndrome, Patau syndrome. They are hoping that their findings will help women be tested as early as 5 weeks and lessen the need for more invasive tests that could lead to miscarriages. For me, I can see the need for this, but it doesn’t effect me. I just recently turned down all those tests in my own pregnancy. I am going to have the baby either way. My fear is that almost 9o% of women diagnosed with a fetus with Down syndrome abort the baby. When they do get the DS confirmation and abort, the baby is pretty far along. So if this test does become common and women find out at 5 weeks that their baby has Down syndrome will the abortion rate rise or fall?

• Letting Your Newborn Sleep With a Fan On May Reduce the Risk of SIDS – According to the report, “Young infants who sleep in bedrooms with fans have a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome than babies who sleep in less well-ventilated rooms, new research shows. Investigators concluded that sleeping with a fan lowers SIDS risk by more than 70%.” The article says that a fan is not a substitute for placing them on their backs. The reports are interesting, because I know SIDS was a fear of mine and I am up for anything I can do reduce the risk. I am not sure I will be militant about this for my next little one, but it is something to consider.

• More Controversy over Cough and Cold Meds for Children – We have already covered previous FDA findings here and here. Now the New York Times is reporting, “manufacturers of pediatric cough and cold medicines announced Tuesday that they would voluntarily change their products’ labels to say that they should not be used in children under the age of 4.” The FDA is considering taking some cough and cold medications off the shelves and making them available by prescription. However, none of this would actually take place for a few years if it did happen. The FDA also fears that adults will then give their children medication meant for adults instead and over medicating them. My daughter is still under 2, so I haven’t used any of them on her. I am more of a Tylenol and home remedy kind of mom.

What is your favorite cereal? Would you start using a fan now for reduce the risk of SIDS? Has the news about cough and cold medications changed your mind about using them? Or do you find that they work?

One of our readers recently sent us this question about sending her son for an overnight stay with his father.

Hi, I wonder if anyone can give me any advice. I separated from my son’s father when I was in early pregnancy. He has had a little contact with him, one visit once a week sometimes once a fortnight. He is now asking for my son to stay with him every other weekend. Naturally at the moment I am planning on telling him that he needs to get more used to his father being around before I can even consider it but I’m probably being really selfish and I don’t want him to go to stay there at all. I don’t think his father will be able to cope and he lives an hour or so away. I’m petrified something bad will happen. Can anyone relieve my fears and give me advice on how to deal with it and how to get my son used to his father being around? I just don’t know what to say.

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Here is my sister-in-law’s, Denise, response to the question. I asked Denise to write up a response, because I know that she has been in that same situation. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of fears I would have sending my little one off and establishing a new kind of relationship.

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When my ex-husband decided he wanted a divorce I was shocked. My first reaction was that he would never see our daughter again. That was obviously not a rational thought. Whatever happened between us she was still ‘our’ child, he had not done anything illegal, and he wanted to be in her life.

Our split happened when she was 2 1/2. She was not ready for an overnight visit at that age. It began with him taking her for 6 hour visits at a time, usually on Saturdays. The next step was a one night visit. Progressively we made it to a Friday-Sunday visit.

Before any of that could happen he and I sat down to discuss ground rules beyond the divorce decree. Things like where and when he would pick her up and drop her off.  I wanted consistency.
The one thing that helped me get through all of this has been remembering that she is not just my child. Even thought he had wronged me, I couldn’t penalize our daughter for. She needed/wanted to see her father on a regular basis. When we sat down I asked him to make the decision to either be in her life or not. I told him he couldn’t do it half way, that would not be fair to her. Another important issue was where he stayed, it needed to be kid friendly and safe.

After all of that was settled and she went with him for the first time I had to deal with my emotions. The first few times I was terrified, I cried, and I let my imagination get away from me. What I did the next time was plan things for myself, things that kept my mind busy.
All of this seems to have worked. I have nothing more than a working relationship with her father but she is a well adjusted teenager now. She knows that things did not work out between us  but she also knows that both of us lover her fully.

Things have not always been perfect between her father and I. There were many time when we had discussions abot her care but they were just discussions. We made sure not to have them in front of her. I worked very hard not to let my personal feelings for him get in the way.
I know that this answer is long winded and may not fit your personal situation perfectly but hopefully you can take something away that will help you!

Have any of you been in this situation? How did you handle it? 

My husband and I are discussing where we want to go on our second Babymoon. A babymoon is simply a little vacation that you take with your spouse to enjoy your time together before the baby arrives. I remember hearing about the idea of a vacation to enjoy your time together before your world is turned upside down and I thought it was a fabulous idea. We love to travel, so this seemed like the perfect excuse to take a vacation.

Our plans for our first babymoon started grand with a week in Paris. Then the trip got downgraded to a weekend in New York City, then we decided to drive to Austin for a weekend, then we came to our final decision to just drive north into the Texas hill country and see where we landed. The weekend turned out wonderfully spontaneous in our Mustang convertible. Little did I know that that would be one of the last times we could go for a ride with the top down. Driving with my windows down on the Camry just isn’t quite the same.

We found a hotel and mentioned that we were on a babymoon. Then the front desk clerk gave us a deal on the room. The next day we found a hole in the wall BBQ place playing John Wayne movies. As we walked around Inks Lake I saw an old couple in blue jeans canoeing. I thought that if they could do it, then I could canoe eight months pregnant. Rowing around the lake was the highlight of my entire weekend.

We took our trip about two months before I was due. I actually felt infinitely better towards the end of my pregnancy, than in the beginning. My friend took her babymoon towards the beginning of her pregnancy before she got uncomfortably huge. I don’t think it matters when you take your babymoon, just as long you do one.

Taking the time to be together and not worry about commitments or the future was invigorating. We appreciated the peace of the trip before we got back to painting the nursery, birth planning, and sleepless nights. Of course I miss the spontaneity of being a DINK, but I really feel like we celebrated the end of our childless phase with our babymoon. I am glad we took the opportunity to take a small trip with just the two of us. Now we will be taking our second babymoon, before we become a family with two children under the age of two (at least for two months)! I want to appreciate the quiet of only one child, before my life becomes even more full of the joys of parenting.

How about you did you do anything special before the baby came?