The Mom Crowd

The work of a Stay at Home Mom now equates to an annual income of $122,732. This is based on a survey of over 12,000 mothers on salary.com. They also based this number on how much it would cost to outsource 10 typical job functions of a mother: housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, facilities manager, van driver, psychologist, laundry machine operator, janitor and chief executive officer.

On mom.salary.com users can calculate for themselves how much a mom’s job is worth. And then, guess what? The user can print out a “pay check” and an Earning Statement and give it to their mom for Mother’s Day. For real? This is exactly what every mother wants for Mother’s Day -  a piece of paper that doesn’t really have any value.  (Of course, if this was a real check then I would be happy to receive it.)

The check is nice sentiment if the number on the check was 1 Zillion dollars or something else equally cute to show that your mom is worth more than current than current market trends.  There is no number that can be applied to the value of a mother’s love for her children.

* My check is only worth $115,757 because of where I live in Texas.

What do you think of Salary.com’s assessment of the value of a mother’s work?

I actually want some time alone for mother’s day. Is it wrong that I don’t want to be with my family the entire day? I don’t want to change any diapers. I don’t want to listen to any crying. I don’t want to worry if my toddler has eaten anything for dinner. I just want to go away for a few hours. I want to sit in a coffeehouse and read. I want to sit in a movie theater. I want to watch something on t.v. that isn’t making me count to five or yelling at me to say things out loud. I want to relax and recharge my batteries.

For me I never imagined having two kids just under 2 years old would be that difficult. I had already had one, so I knew what to expect with the second baby. I knew I had the skills. As it turns out each baby is different and has their own preferences. I have to learn a whole new set of likes and dislikes. Now I have to be even more mindful and deliberate to have some Me Time.

My husband and I went out on a date this past Saturday to enjoy some time together and enjoy the green light from my midwife for you know what. I told my husband this morning that I didn’t know how much I needed that time apart from my kids until I got the time. I was excited to see my kids this morning. I felt refreshed and relaxed today.

I really value the time I have apart from my family, because it makes me a better wife and mom. So really all I want for Mother’s Day is just a few hours by myself.

If money was no object and you could have anything for Mother’s Day, what would you want?

While discussing my emotional roller coaster after having my baby boy 8 weeks ago with friends one mom made the comment that Postpartum Depression (PPD) is worse after having a boy. She attributed it to the higher testosterone levels while pregnant with a boy.  I have unscientifically surveyed my friends and most have agreed that their PPD was worse after having a boy than when they had a girl.

In the last few weeks I have had a few episodes of baby blues and anger. Now at 8 weeks I feel like my symptoms are calming down and my hormones are leveling out. My baby blues mostly consisted of my crying at night while watching a commercial or a t.v. show.

When I was angry I wasn’t angry at my new son, but at my husband and 23 month old daughter. My husband got sick and I was angry that he couldn’t help and I had to do everything. I know it wasn’t his fault that he got sick, but I still didn’t like it. I have been angry at my toddler daughter too. One day after I got angry with her I emailed my friend Amelia about my feelings and it read:

I do get really mad when Annabelle wakes up her brother. And then last night she was doing her usual – i don’t want dinner, but want to be in your lap while you eat – thing. In the process she swatted her plate of food away and it landed on the floor. I grabbed her, spanked her, ran her up to her room and put her in her crib and left her.  But i was so upset and upset at myself for getting so upset about it. (i hope that makes sense.)

After I had gotten angry I remembered that Amelia had written a blog post about anger and PPD here on The Mom Crowd and I went and read it. In her suggestions on how to deal with it, she suggested that you talk about it with a friend. So I emailed her and she called me back. Our conversation helped me, because it made me not feel so crazy. She told me that she had gotten mad at her husband for being sick too. She said that it was good that I put Annabelle in her crib and walked away. She encouraged me to watch my symptoms and to keep an eye on how often I get angry.

Thankfully my bouts of anger have pretty much subsided. I am normally an easy going person. I also don’t cry at every sad thing on t.v. anymore. I was also able to talk this out at my 6 week follow-up appointment with my midwife. She brought it up and asked me how I was doing emotionally. We talked while I nursed my baby. This would have never happened at my former OB/GYN’s office.

After the birth of my daughter I only had some baby blues. I remember bawling during the Series Finale of Gilmore Girls and texting my husband to come home from Target so I could have a hug. I don’t know if my Postpartum Depression was worse after my boy, because I also had a toddler to deal with.

In February the BBC reported that French scientists found a “statistical quirk” in their research suggesting that the mothers of boys have a greater chance of having a severe case of PPD.  I have also researched around the web and it doesn’t seem like their is difference in the severity of PPD in relation with the gender of your baby.

Have you noticed a difference in PPD between genders? Have you experienced a form of PPD and how did you handle it?

While we are on the subject this is a great post about not judging what form of PPD treatment people use over at Postpartum Progress (click here).

I have heard of many schools here in San Antonio, Austin, and Houston that are closed, because of the swine flu. Are you at home with kids, because their school is closed?

Check out these posts about what to do with your kids while they are at home:

• Entertaining Your Pre-Schooler
• Bringing Outdoor Play Inside
• A Fun Craft or Gift with Magnets, Pictures, and Glass Pebbles
• Making the Most Out of Play Time with Your Baby

Yesterday my friend, Natalie, took her 3 year old son and 8 month old girl to the doctor’s office. They started taking the toys out of the waiting room just as her son was playing with them. When they spoke with the doctor they found out that there had been a confirmed case of Swine Flu in their office that morning. Natalie and her kids have been exposed to the virus.  You should check out Natalie’s husband’s political take on the virus here.

Are you afraid of the virus? Is it really a pandemic if only 50 people in the US are infected? Are you washing your hands more often?

This week Compassion International sent a team of 5 bloggers, 3 leaders, and 1 photographer to Kolkata, India (used be called Calcutta) to write about their experiences at Compassion International projects. These bloggers are witnessing extreme poverty, unclothed children and what the face of hunger looks like.

It is easy for us to look away or count the poor as a statistic. We feel helpless to cure poverty and to fill a little belly on the other side of the world. I would like to challenge you to follow and read the words of these bloggers everyday this week.

You may not be able to go to India yourself right now, but you can experience this amazing trip through their eyes. Mission trips to serve the poor change your life forever. Let the words of these bloggers change your world view. You may come to be thankful for all that you do have, you may feel compelled to support a child, or you may see miracles this week.

Click here to follow every post of each blogger here on the Compassion International website. Check it every day and walk with them on this incredible journey in India.