Are Baby Showers for a Second Baby Appropriate?
When I was pregnant with my second baby I wondered if I should have a baby shower or even register at a store. A part of me wanted this second baby “off the grid,” because Babies R Us likes to sell your information to marketers. According to “Parenting, Inc.” by Pamela Paul, baby showers for second children have become more prevalent in recent years, because of big box stores and baby registries.
Some people think that if you already had one baby, then you already have everything you need to for the second one. Another baby shower could give the impression that you are greedy. Baby showers for a second baby or even a third and fourth can be completely appropriate, here is why:
- Every life is worth celebrating! Every baby is significant and birthing them is no easy task! It is important to celebrate the mother, the new baby’s family and baby. A new arrival is always exciting.
- Baby showers can be fun if the new baby is a different gender from his or her siblings. My friend Natalie had a shower for her first baby girl after having one son. It was a lot of fun to go overboard with the pink, bows, and dresses. She was very excited to be having a baby girl. It was quite the celebration!
- Sometimes you do need new baby items. Practically every baby needs diapers. You can shower second time parents with diapers or cards with money to buy cloth diapers.
- Baby showers can be anything you want them to be. There is more freedom to have a non-traditional baby shower with your second baby. You can have a BBQ with the guys attending or a girls night with desserts. I like the girls night out, because you can leave the kids at home with daddy.
- Have a shower and collect gifts for a local shelter. Let guests know that a shower is being held in your honor and gifts will be given to a local shelter. You can collect diapers and baby clothes for a crisis center in your area.
Baby showers are to celebrate the mother and the new baby. I think we all should be celebrated with each baby we have! How you get showered is up to you.
Did you have a baby shower for your second and third children?
-photo courtesy of rshannonsmith
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I didn’t have the typical big shower for our second son. With my first, my best friend threw the shower. Families and friends from my home, two hours away, made the trip. With our second, it was just the ladies from my church. Not many clothes as we were having another boy, two years later. So, no need for clothes. A few fun gifts, a few gifts for the big brother and a few things for me.
And food!
It was lovely.
I think every single baby born deserves a celebration. Whenever you have a shower for any child after your first born, you could have a “baby sprinkle”. The purpose of this type of celebration is to “sprinkle” the baby with gifts instead of “showering” with gifts. Since you most likely got lots of stuff like baby baby furniture, travel gear, re-usable clothes and shoes, you won’t need that much stuff for your 2nd, 3rd, etc. child. So you “sprinkle” the child with smaller gifts like tons of diapers and wipes (you can never have enough of those), baby food, bathing stuff, etc.
My first and second children were 11 years apart, so I did have a shower for the first two. My third child was a boy, so my BFF gave me a shower for him. I remember the “lady in charge of all things” at the church we went to told my BFF “we only give one baby shower per family”. I didn’t necessarily want another shower, but I did want to feel like people were excited about our baby. For my fourth baby, my son’s playgroup threw me a nice shower. It was a total surprise and I was very touched. I agree that every baby is a blessing and should be celebrated. It’s not saying that the mom is greedy and wants gifts. She wants each baby to be recognized as the blessing that he/she is. I would go to a shower for any friends’ 3rd, or 5th or 8th child! I think each child is a gift and should be celebrated.
We were recently offered a shower for our second baby, and I said that we’d agree to it only if it was a celebration without gifts. Actually, I suggested everyone could bring me casseroles to freeze; I’d be okay with that, but because of the Holidays that wouldn’t work very well.
While I can understand lots of circumstances where a shower seems like the natural thing to do (girl after boy, large gap between children, a surprise addition), additional showers just don’t sit well with me. If we didn’t already have just about everything we need, I might feel differently. I’m also quite certain we’ll receive many gifts once this peanut arrives!
I forgot to add, I DO love the idea of collecting gifts for a local shelter!
An interesting fact – in the Middle East, they throw showers after the baby is born, rather than before. I think that having a post-birth baby shower would be a great idea for later additions to the family, especially if we want to make it a *true* celebration of the baby
And, like you said, since we already have a lot of the big, “recyclable” necessities (furniture, car seats, strollers, etc.), I like the idea of a baby “sprinkle.”
I love going to baby showers, and most moms I know aren’t affronted if I give something small like diapers, wipes, or a gift card to help with expenses. It can be overwhelming, the amount of stuff a new baby needs, and any help is greatly appreciated!
My situation was similar to FireMom’s. I felt awkward about having a second shower, but a dear friend insisted. It was smaller and I didn’t register for it. I just enjoyed the fellowship. My second is a son so I needed boy clothes anyway.
I also was blessed with a lot of diapers, which is indeed a great help.
Totally appropriate. Why wouldn’t you want to celebrate every baby coming into a family? And isn’t every family going to need hundreds of diapers throughout that first year?
I had a baby shower with our second child… first was a boy, second was a girl, so we needed a few things like clothes and girlie accessories. I felt like even if she had been another boy, I would have wanted to celebrate her arrival. We struggled to conceive her and she was such a blessing that the blessing was the biggest part of the shower… not the gifts, but the love!
If we are able to have another baby, I’d love to do a girls night. One of my friends got a group of people together and had a mani/pedi night at a local spa. Diaper showers are also great ideas! I agree with Stephanie that it’s not about the mom being greedy, but just wanting to share her joy with other people!!!
I love the idea of collecting items for a local shelter. i also agree with celebrating the arrival of the second baby. that child needs to be loved just as much as the first. but because you may still have everything you need from the first, what i did for my cousin’s “baby sprinkle” was hold an arts and craft shower. where guest come and decorate various baby items, like onies, bibs, towels, or paint pictures/canvas, and things like that. there were still prizes and of course food!