What is the Best Piece of Advice You Recieved?
I recently went to a baby shower and they asked everyone to write a piece of advice for the soon-to-be-mom. I wrote, “Trust your instincts.”
This was the best piece of advice that I received. Two weeks after I brought Ace home I tried Baby Wise for two days and I was in tears at the end of the second night. Daniel and I were discussing our next steps and he told me to trust my instincts, because he said that deep down I knew what Ace needed. That advice lifted all the guilt I had from not being able to live up to certain standards. I was now able to set my own standards, it was freeing. So now every time I am asked to give advice to new moms I was always say, “Trust your instincts!”
What is the best piece of advice that you have received?
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Trust you instincts! Perfect! I would have said “You know more than you think you know.” But yours is simpler and more direct. I’ll be back to your site for more gems.
The best piece of advice I received was basically, don’t completely change and adjust your life for you baby. Don’t quit going places because you have a baby… bring them along. Let the baby adjust to YOUR life instead of centering your life around your baby/child. The result has been kids that are really flexible and laid back and we all have a lot of fun together!
“Don’t forsake your marriage.” Having kids does take from the one-on-one time you spend with your spouse. My addendum to that advice would be, “have early bedtimes for the kids!” At 7pm, both of our kids are asleep and my husband and I have several hours together before our bedtime to have grown-up discussions…and my kids are very well rested because bedtime is one area I feel like I got right!
Breanna, I like the idea but that sure is hard to do, especially if the people around you don’t appreciate having a young one come along. Some places just aren’t baby-friendly (quiet coffeehouses, certain restaurants, even some church events). I wish I cared less about what others think and just had the confidence to bring my kids everywhere. I’m dealing with a church paradigm that doesn’t want the babies along on youth retreats. (They’re a distraction). I can respect that, but it sure is hard not having my husband around for those long weekends away. We did two this fall, and there will be two more in winter, plus two whole different weeks in the summer when I’ll be home with the kids without their dad. That’s very hard for me (esp b/c I’m new in town, so I don’t have many friends and no family around).
Anyway, my advice was not given to me, it’s something I’ve learned after having 2 kids. I am an organized person, but I find keeping baby clothes organized in dresser drawers, closets, etc. is very stressful, because the clothes keep changing size so quickly! It seems when I finally get in that dresser and get the drawers organized just so, two weeks pass and it’s time to shuffle in/out a whole new batch of clothing. (I have 2 kids, one boy (4 mos) and one girl (21 mos), and they’re 17 mos apart. That’s a lot of size changes!) So recently I said aloud to my mom, who was visiting: “I wish I just had three tubs lined up on the floor for their clothes: one marked “Too Small”, one marked, “Just Right!” and the last one, “Too Big”. When they’re clean, I’d just throw them in the appropriate tub and dig for what I want when I’m dressing them. I’m sure there’s an easier way than that, but this idea sure would work for me!
Hi ladies – I’ve lurked a little, but thought I’d join in on this one. I have a 5 year old son now, so we’re past the baby stage, but there are two things I’ve learned: 1. Don’t be pressured by other people’s expectations of how to parent. Nobody knows your baby like you do. I make decisions based on what’s best for my son, and don’t let other people’s opinions sway me. 2. Make time for your marriage. It’s so easy to become so wrapped up in your infatuation with your baby, that your husband can take a back seat. So I agree with McKenna. We have dates where we talk about things other than raising our son, and it keeps us connected.
I agree with “Don’t let your marriage take a backseat!”
Dawn, I have been in your situation, so I know how hard a traveling hubby is. I hope that the church changes their thoughts on kids being a distraction! It would be a blessing for you to enjoy retreat ministry as a family. It makes it not feel quite as costly to the family life–although I found that as the boys got older it was easier to stay at home. It was worth going every once in a while to be together as a family.
I love your idea of too small, too big, and just right!
And Amanda, “trust your instincts” is great advice!