The Mom Crowd

We all know that children pick up everything they hear.  When we converse, my hubby and I are constantly spelling key words, finding creative synonyms, or using parental code.  It is a hoot to watch my daughter listening with all her might.  She reminds me of myself when I am listening to people speak a foreign language I’ve vaguely studied – I know every sixth word or so.   When she does follow us, she jumps in with questions and responses.  She’s quick, that girl.

Lucy often calls her brother “Buddy” now, because that is a nickname we have for our son.  This makes us smile.  And hearing our son say, “Get down! Get funky!” at the dinner table is good for a laugh.  (We taught him that.)  But I am most proud when my children use phrases we want them to say without being told.  Here are just a few biggies:

• “May I please have ______________?”  Long ago, my daughter mixed up some of these words and now every request begins with “Please may I __________?”  I think she thinks “Please may” is one word, because I’m hearing it in other questions now: “Please may can we go to the bookstore?”  Regardless of the word order, I’m just happy to hear the “please” and the tone of a question being asked.  When the kids get forgetful, they get demanding, and their mouths produce all kinds of imperatives that I find rude, like when my son drops his cup and says, “Get my cup, Mom!”
• “May I be excused?”  We’ve been working on this one for about a year.  Often when my child was finished eating, she’d just get up and leave the room.  I didn’t care for that to become a habit, so we started teaching this request.  It’s still a work-in-progress.  My son has about outgrown his booster seat, so this will begin all over again soon.
• “Thank you.”  This is a no-brainer, yet small children don’t have the natural inclination to be grateful for anything!  They know how to say thank you – they just hardly ever do.  I am always shocked and delighted to hear an unprompted thanks. 
• “I forgive you.”  Our kids get plenty of practice saying, “I’m sorry” every time they are finished with time-out.  My husband and I feel it is equally important that they hear an “I forgive you” when they apologize.  It is becoming as natural as saying “You’re welcome” to a thank you.   When we coach our children through an argument, one of them always ends up saying, “I’m sorry.”  And the other is prompted to say, “I forgive you.”  Forgiveness is powerful.  Hearing and saying the words is a necessary part of conflict resolution.  I don’t want my children to grow up being unfamiliar with this phrase.  The other day, when my son apologized to his sister for pushing her, he stood there expectantly.  She didn’t say anything.  Eli said, “Mom, Lucy needs to say, ‘I forgive you.’”  Then she did.  I feel good about that. 

What phrases do you spend energy trying to teach your children?  What is something you say that your child has repeated?