When Do You Feel Normal Again After Having a Baby?
My baby is 3 months old today and I am just now feeling like I am my old self again. After I had my first baby I remember an older couple telling me to wait until the 3 to 4 month mark and life will begin to get back to normal. So far their advice has been right with both of my kids.
Around the 3 to 4 month mark my babies started sleeping longer. They didn’t need to be fed around the clock. I even had some of my brain cells back. Now that I think of it, maybe my brain cells are coming back because I am getting more sleep. (If only I went to bed on time!)
Also, around the 3 to 4 month mark my babies started to smile and coo. Seriously, life doesn’t get any better than when your baby wakes up smiling every morning. Until that smile comes babies can seem like a chore, especially in the first few weeks.
Melissa recently commented on an older post of mine titled, “Its Okay Not to Love Your Newborn.” She wrote:
I too am struggling with my feelings toward my daughter. She is almost 3 weeks old and I do not feel a bond with her yet. I know I love her to some degree b/c I am constantly thinking and worried about her. Maybe that’s it. She does feel more like an obligation or a chore than an enjoyment. She cries a lot & I am blown away by the amount of responsibility it takes to care for her. I feel trapped & scared that it will never get better. I want her to hurry and grow then feel guilty b/c I know when that happens I’ll regret that I didn’t enjoy her at this time. It’s very depressing.
I replied to Melissa through email and I explained how things do get better. I have never loved the newborn stage. I am already tired from 40 weeks of pregnancy, labor & delivery, and getting no sleep all while having to learn to care for a new person. I feel like each baby has their own personality and the early weeks are spent getting to know the baby. Both the mom and baby are getting used to each other.
I certainly enjoy the newborn stage as best as I can, but I am always glad when I am on the other side of that mountain. Now that my baby is 3 months old I can see the bottom of that mountain. I can see my life becoming normal again. I am not spending every waking second worried about my new baby. I am close to getting a full night’s sleep again. It is easier to travel. I am incredibly thankful to be on the other side of the mountain that began with first reading those two blue lines.
Do you love the newborn stage? When did your life feel like it was normal again? Did it ever return to normal? Or was it new kind of normal?
* The photo is of my husband and Baby Roman in the Guadalupe River on Memorial Day.
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No! I absolutely do not like the newborn stage! They are so tiny and vulnerable that I feel a constant underlying stress. It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I do love the smell of infant poo, though! (:
I actually DO love the newborn stage. Anywhere from birth to about 2.5 is my favorite (the 3′s and almost 4′s have been difficult in my house!). As for feeling normal, I don’t think I’ve yet to experience normal, and my kids are almost 4 and 18 months! Then again, we had a loss between having them and my body was totally messed up from that. And while our sleep is better, we still struggle with that. I guess I have a new kind of normal… but sometimes I really do miss the old kind!!!
While I do love the newborn stage I never did like the nights during that time. I think I started feeling “normal” again at around 3 months old. Both my boys were great sleeping so they were both sleeping through the night then and that is about the time I felt right going out into the public with them too.
Oh wow, it’s nice to hear that not everyone loves the newborn stage! My hubby and I weren’t fond of those first few months, but everyone we spoke to seemed to think it was the best thing ever! As Kaylee gets older (she’s 21 months) things just more and more interesting!
Feeling like my old self after having a baby? That’s tough. I felt human again after 3 or 4 months, but not like me. I really love running and racing, but it was almost a year before I could back to being somewhat competitive, and I’d say that I’m only just now getting back to being at the level I was before she was born.
I didn’t mind the newborn stage too much, although it’s certainly not my favorite. It took me a LONG time to feel “normal” again. And I guess there are various stages of that. It seems like 4-6 months was a milestone for me, but I feel like in a lot of ways, I didn’t really feel “normal” again until my kids were around two, when they could really communicate and be more independent.
I’m with Christy, the first 3 months are completely sweet for me. There is something quiet about a newborn’s presence in the house – and I am a sucker for sitting and holding my babies as long as they’ll let me. And then swaddling them tight and laying them down wherever I need to be. It’s a simpler time. (Or it used to be. If we have a third, I know “the quiet” will be much more relative!)
I absolutely LOVED the newborn stage although I did feel better physically and emotionally after the 3-4 month stage. I bonded with my babies before they were even born and I know how fast they grow so I’ve always tried to enjoy every single second with them. I held them when they were newborns pretty much the entire time. Family and friends would get annoyed with me because I wouldn’t share.
I agree, there is something magical about hitting that 3 month thing, you do seem to find your groove by then for sure.
However, having said that…my little guy is 8 months old next week and I feel far from normal. However, that could be due to the lack of sleep, who knows! He isn’t a good sleeper and still gets up multiple times a night to feed
I feel very lucky that I established an incredible bond with both of my babes within the first couple of days of their birth. Part of that could be due to the fact that I am very comfortable around newborns? I don’t know.
While I did enjoy the newness of my newborn, it was hard for me as a first-time parent b/c I had NO idea what Morgan wanted most the time. Thankfully after a few months I got better at perceiving her needs. Also by that time she and I were both on a regular routine, including sleeping through the night. It’s amazing how sleep can make a difference. However, I think I honestly didn’t begin to feel normal again until after we were done breastfeeding (at age 1). No longer were our lives constrained by a feeding schedule and no longer did we continue the host/parasite relationship. While I wouldn’t trade the nursing experience, it felt very limiting and stressful for me.
I love photographing everyone else’s babies at the newborn stage, but that’s it. I DIDN’T like my kiddos in it.
Three months is pretty darling, but six months is SWEET (just love that age!).
Every time my husband and I talk about adoption, I mention not wanting a newborn. I’d be pretty happy just to skip to that fun six month stage…
Hi I have a 17 month old and a 3 month old. I am 27 and feel ravaged from the pregnancies and they were difficult for me. My question is how long before I’ll feel back to myself again?
I’m starting to feel as if it’s hopeless. I’m so weak and drained all the time. It just seems like such a sacrifice. My blood pressure always gets very low and high after pregmancy and it makes me feel awful. It’s okay for now. Please tell me something reassuring. I’m stick in a major depression. Love my family with all my heart, just wish I felt better ti be happier for them and me.
I have only been home two days with my newborn after spending the first 8 days of her life in the hospital with an awful infection in my uterus. I just feel awful, not sick but emotional as hell, constantly wanting to sleep or cry. I dont feel that bond with my baby girl, I know I love her ofcourse but I dont feel like undying bond to her. My heart jumps everytime she makes a noise. I couldnt ask for a better baby, she simply eats and sleeps, that it. Shes quiet unless shes hungry, but I cant help but feel like all I want to do is sit on the couch and cry or sleep. I am terrified of ending up back in the hospital and I am very scared of being alone with her. HELP! Is this normal, when am I going to feel normal again?