The Mom Crowd

The saying might be used almost to excess. But there’s a lot of truth to the idea that couples seldom know what to expect when they’re expecting. One’s first child is an event that’s almost impossible to fully plan for. However, this by no means should suggest that you should or can get away with not planning anything at all. Making that transition from a couple to parents is probably the single most important thing you’ll ever do with your life.

It’s taking total and complete responsibility for every aspect of another person’s life. A living being’s hopes, dreams and even ability to conceptualize those ideas will come down to how you raise it. As such, it’s important to do as perfect a job as possible. Nobody’s going to do a perfect job of raising a child. Given the conflicted nature of the human psyche, it’s impossible. But one can do a perfect job of making the attempt to be perfect.

Starting from the top

First, try to really take the lesson about perfection to heart. It’s something easy to grasp on an intellectual level. But it’s very difficult on an emotional one. Especially when you look at your baby’s face for the first time. Logic tends to fade away when you look at the product of your love.

Preparing the environment

You should then start planning for some of the more practical aspects of raising a child. People usually jump right to the toddler stage when considering the living environment. The impression usually goes along with an idea that a baby can’t walk and therefore is safe. But it’s important to remember that the environment can come to the baby rather than the baby coming to the environment.

But there’s good reason to begin planning for a baby by looking for pest control Riverside CA, or in the area where you live. Because as the name suggests, pests are the big exception in how your baby’s environment operates.

Bugs and other insects can walk right up to or even onto your baby. And the invasive mammals are often even worse. They’re in love with the idea of finding warm spaces. In fact, that’s often why they enter into a home in the first place. They’re trying to find some warmth when the weather becomes unpleasant. Anything from the colder parts of winter to a bad storm might provide initial motivation. But once they’re in your home they’re going to keep on looking for warmth.

Everything from mice to rats to bats would love to snuggle up to your baby. But rather obviously, you’re not going to want that to happen. That’s why in the time coming up to, and after the birth, you’ll want to make regular use of pest control services. This can ensure the health of not only your baby, but your home in general. After all, having to move because of pests isn’t much fun for kids.

Consider your schedule before rather than after

You’ll also want to replan your schedule around the baby. It’s important to remember that you’re going to be tired. Tired on a level that you’ve probably never felt before. There’s a number of psychological and biological reasons for it.

But the simple fact is, you’re not going to be up to a lot of careful consideration of your scheduling once the baby comes. Therefore, it’s best to plan around it beforehand. Consider what social function to keep, which to reschedule, and which you’ll drop. It’s best to err on the side of caution when it comes to how much time you’ll need to spend on the baby.

Consider the role of pets

Bugs aren’t the only living things to consider. You’ll also want to determine how to handle dogs and cats. One of the easiest ways is to simply put up a baby gate. This serves a double purpose. It can keep animals away from the baby. This isn’t always a perfect solution, and it’s why you’ll want to put it up early and then go on from there.

The biggest issue is that animals, and especially cats, can often jump over gates. As such you’ll want to consider how to get the best use out of them. But oftentimes, it simply comes down to having a small box or the like under the gate in order to make it a little higher. In the end, that little extra testing can provide a lot of help further down the line.

When kids get fidgety, many parents end up resorting to medication on the advice of a medical professional. While sometimes this is helpful, at other times, restless behavior is often interpreted as inattention arising from ADHD. Consequently, a child is given a stimulant drug; and, since these drugs do work, helping a child to focus, it’s easy to conclude that this is the right solution.

However, there are two possible downsides to putting a child on Adderall, Ritalin, or Strattera The first is that there are possible side effects, including severe headaches, insomnia, and depression. The second is that ADHD symptoms could also be attributed to other causes. For instance, common symptoms of ADHD include getting easily distracted and confused, frequently losing things, struggling to follow simple instructions, and experiencing a quick onset of boredom with most tasks. However, it’s important to bear in mind that many symptoms of ADHD aren’t exclusive to ADHD. Similar symptoms could also be attributed to a number of other causes—like uncomfortable clothing, sleep deprivation, dietary deficiency, and emotional upset.

1. Uncomfortable clothing.

Your child could be sensitive to bunches in socks and pinching underwear. If you suspect that this might be playing a role in your child’s restless behavior, you could try seamless socks or undies. However, even if you discover that your child is not hypersensitive to the texture of clothing near the skin, he or she will probably be delighted at how seamless clothing technology can make clothes so comfortable.

2. Sleep deprivation.

Although your child may no longer be a baby, he or she will still benefit from regular bedtimes. Since consistency is important for kids, bedtime is no exception. If despite going to bed on time every night, your child shows signs of sleep deprivation, then you have to get to the root of why they aren’t getting a good’s night rest. Is it the temperature in the room? Is it a lumpy mattress? Is it the noisy TV in the living room next door? Is your child worried or scared about something? It may take a while to get to the reason, and it’s a question of eliminating various factors; there also may be a few reasons why your child isn’t sleeping well at nights.

3. Dietary deficiency.

We often only notice nutritional deficiency when it becomes severe; however, nutritional deficiencies can be subtle. For instance, your child may be eating some magnesium-rich foods, but still not getting enough magnesium.

The following supplements have been found helpful in improving brain function and nervous system health:

•   Essential Fatty Acids. Try giving your child EPA, DHA, GLA, linoleic acid, and arachidonic acid.
•   Flaxseed Oil.
•   Vitamin C.
•   B complex.
•   Magnesium.
•   Probiotics.

Speak to your doctor or a nutritionist to get a good estimate of how much your child should take of each supplement. In addition to investigating any dietary deficiencies, you should also test your child for any food allergies. For instance, they may have unidentified gluten intolerance, but love snacks and meals that have a lot of gluten.

4. Emotional Upset.

Your child may be chronically emotionally upset about something that they have not shared with you. It’s helpful to speak to a school psychologist to get a better idea of how your child is doing emotionally at school in relationship to teachers or other children. They may be stressed out over a few conflicting relationships, an excessively critical teacher a bully, but have not told you about it. They may be getting teased, or have no friends, or feel low self-esteem because they aren’t keeping up with the rest of the class. Sometimes a child may be more open to sharing their feelings with a school psychologist than you, because they are afraid of upsetting you.

If your child is fidgety, there are many possible causes that could be more easily remedied rather than resorting to medication. Besides taking these four steps, you could also work on making your home environment more relaxing. While, of course, you don’t want to overdo it, there are many subtle things you can do, like having more indoor flowers, using subtle essential oil scents, reducing the breakout of exuberant sibling quarrels, and turning down the TV when it gets too loud.

 It is the sort of thing every mom thinks can never happen to her. But according to Dr. Kima Joy Taylor, director of the CATG Initiative via drugfree.org:

Drug use is on the rise in this country and 23.5 million Americans are addicted to alcohol and drugs. That’s approximately one in every 10 Americans over the age of 12 – roughly equal to the entire population of Texas.

That represents 23.5 million American moms that at some point in their lives, had to deal with the reality of having a kid who was addicted to a mind and life altering chemical.

To be sure, no one sets out to be addicted to drugs and alcohol. No one ever believes it can happen to them. And no proud mother ever looked at her precious little angel and predicted that beautiful baby would grow up to be an addict.

That kind of disappointment is hard to put into words. There are all kinds of negative emotions wrapped up in that reality. Here is a brief look at some of those emotions, and what other moms can do to be a pillar of support when it is needed the most:

Provide Her with Helpful Resources

A typical mother already wears far too many hats for one person. She is already under a lot of pressure in the best of circumstances. A young adult child living at home does not just add to the pressure but multiplies it.

Rather than encouraging her to bear all that responsibility with dignity, provide her with resources like substance abuse rehab for young adults. Help her find facilities in her area that can take the load of rehab and counseling off her shoulders, and even provide her with additional support for herself. A mom in crisis does not need more courage to face the coming storm. She needs professional assistance.

Don’t Let Her Drown in Guilt

Some churches provide excellent support in situations like these. Others drown a person in a sense of moral failure. What guilt systems don’t take into account is that sometimes you can do everything right, and things still end up going horribly wrong.

You can talk with your teenager about alcohol consumption, move to the best possible neighborhoods, be involved in the child’s life without being overbearing, and be a perfect role model. Even so, your teenager is a human individual, not an automaton.

Guilt can create a paralyzing feedback loop that can lead to depression and worse. The conviction that one can do nothing right often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Friends don’t let friends drift into that dark place if they can do something about it.

Life Goes on

After realizing there is a problem with one of her children, one of the worst things that happens to a mom is that she develops tunnel vision. She can only focus on that problem. Everything else fades away into the periphery. This can be disastrous to family health, as she might have a spouse and other children that suffer from her emotional absence.

Other moms need to help her process her guilt and find useful resources so that she can reengage with the world around her. The last thing she needs to deal with is a marriage on the rocks, and the downward spiral of her other children.

For life to go on, grief must be temporary and well managed. It also must give way to hope and optimism. Addiction does not have to be the end of the world. Recovery is possible. A mom might need to be reminded of this by her friends. She can’t afford the luxury of checking out. Life is too precious. And like the show, it must go on.

When one member of the family experiments with drugs and alcohol, the whole family does. And when that one family member becomes addicted, the whole family does. Everything changes for everyone. And everyone needs the support of one another and the community.

The mistake is thinking that one person’s addiction does not affect you. It does. This is especially true for moms. Her addicted child needs the support of rehab professionals. She needs the support of friends who will not let her drown in guilt, and who remind her that life goes on.

When you’re moving, there’s so much to think about that it can be easy to overlook some very important things – such as how your kids are feeling. Naturally, you would hope that your kids are excited about relocating. Contrary to popular belief, many school-aged children can begin to feel a bit insecure and uneasy about the move.

The Uncertainty of Moving

Children enjoy familiarity in their lives. Their home, school, friends, and family are essentially the foundation of what they’re used to. No matter how great the new place may be, they can still feel a bit insecure about moving away from what they’re accustomed to. As a parent, it will be important for you to try and help ease their anxieties. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

1. Provide Protection

You’ll want your children to feel safe and secure about the new place. There are plenty of things you can do to make sure that they will be safe. For starters, investing in homeowners or renters insurance will replace their personal belongings in the event that it gets damaged or stolen in the new property. Other ways to provide protection would be to consider investing in a security system. This way if there are any fears of intruders, they can be put to rest.

2. Prioritize

Yes, there’s a lot to do when you’re moving, but it is important that you keep your children and their feelings at the top of your list of priorities. While it may seem feasible to unpack and get things in order, if your kids are feeling down, it may be best to focus your attention on them so that they know you care.

3. Get Into a Routine

While you can’t take your old home with you, you can start familiar routines that will make your children feel more at home. Whatever routines you used to do in your old home like eating breakfast together, having family time, or even a bedtime ritual, you should try to get back to those things as soon as possible. Even in the midst of mayhem.

4. Let Them Help

When you arrive at your new place, allow your children to be a part of the process to turn the house into a home. Let them unpack their belongings for their rooms for instance, or assist you with putting things away around the house. When they have something to do, they feel included and less stressed about being in a new place.

5. Give Them Time

Your children will begin to notice changes about the new place or neighborhood, and this could ultimately make them a bit sad all over again. It is important to give them time to adjust to the newness of it all. You can encourage them by pointing out some of the positives you’ve noticed in the area. For instance, maybe there’s a community pool that you didn’t have where you used to live. This can help them to see the advantages to moving.

6. Take Care of You

This is probably something moms don’t often do, but it is necessary – take care of yourself. Moving is a lot of work, and as you tend to the responsibilities of moving and the psychological affects it has on your children, you could easily burn out. Therefore, make sure that you’re getting a well-balanced diet and enough rest so that you have the energy to get it all done.

Moving might seem like an easy feat for you, but for your children, it can be one of the biggest losses they’ve had to face yet. Though your children should adapt to the change in a short period of time, it is important that you provide support and allow them the time they need to adjust. Be there for them in a way that matters most. While they may not live in the same home, they still have you as their rock to see them through.

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