Pregnancy and Body Image: I Feel Huge
I saw in my sidebar here at The Mom Crowd the title “Body image issues during pregnancy” under the More from BlogHer section. Morra Aarons Mele published a post titled “Pregnant, fat” over at Blogher.com. I had to go read it. I have been having my own body image issues with my second pregnancy.
With my first I was excited and proud to show off my belly. I worked in an office and proudly wore my heals and dressed up all the way up until the very end. This time I am at home and don’t really have to impress or look cute for anyone. I am casual everyday in my new skecher tennis shoes with no laces. So I don’t feel like I take as much pride in the way I look this second time around.
As a result of my horrible morning sickness and strict gestational diabetes (GD) diet I only gained 25 pounds with my first pregnancy. I felt back to normal and lost it all within 9 months of having Annabelle. Another reason why I am not truly motivated to keep my weight down this pregnancy is because I know that the weight comes off pretty easily after the baby comes.
Since I found out I was pregnant and knowing that I might have gestational diabetes again I have been allowing myself to eat whatever I want. Bring on the cake, pie, cookies, and brownies. I have tried to ease up on the sweets since Thanksgiving, but not as much as I should. Tomorrow I take my first test to determine if I have GD again. In a way I am completely okay if I have it, because it will help me be super strict with my diet. The only downside is that if I can’t control it with diet and need insulin, then I can’t birth at the birth center I have been attending.
I have let myself go and I feel huge this pregnancy. I already mentioned how I don’t really feel up for sex very much lately and this certainly does not help. I have no energy and I feel fat. I am afraid to get on the scale. Okay, maybe I will just for you guys. I am back from standing on the scale. I have gained 23 pounds and I am only 26 weeks pregnant. ugh. (That is only 2 pounds away from what I gained total the last time I was pregnant.)
It also doesn’t help that strangers and people mention how huge I already am. They don’t believe me when I tell them that I still have three months to go. One person and her mother insisted up and down that I was further along than I think. Really, I know when the first date of my last period is. So not only do I feel huge, other people like to confirm that I am.
I don’t have any helpful solutions for making myself or anyone else feel better about their body while they are pregnant. My only hope is to slow down my weight gain and look forward to when I have my body back to work it all off.
Did you have any body image issues while you were pregnant? Did you really feel fine and happy to be round or did you look forward to having your body back?
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I have talked with many women in my family and friend that tell me the 2nd pregnancy is not as much fun in the weight gain part. You have a toddle that you need to take care of as well on top of everything else.When first have baby your pre-baby body has never been stretched or put through all of the stress your body does endures when we are carrying a child. So do not be so hard on yourself, I say just start from the point you are at, do not make yourself go crazy with trying to not gain weight but just take care of yourself. Do little things to try and make you feel good, go get a manicure and pedicure, or a pregnancy spa (something make you feel good) or go and try a new pregnancy pilates class to get a jump start on getting back in shape for your baby and you. Anything to make you feel like “You” again will make a big difference. If all else fails call up any girl friend and talk sometimes that really helps.
Also, many people told me how big I was with my first and I hated it. One day this woman made me feel so bad that I told her she was mean and rude for telling a pregnant lady she was fat and I cried (I blame it on my hormones.
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Ugh, I totally had body image issues when I was pregnant. I only gained 26 pounds, but I was a bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding when I was 6 months along and that just did not help (what with that awful maternity dress that looked like a potato sack and all.) I was so excited to be pregnant because I wanted a baby, but I not super excited about all the bodily changes that come with it. Honestly, I don’t think the hormones help. For me, exercise really helped me feel better about myself (and kept me balanced). I hope you feel better! Just remember it won’t be forever!
I had major body issues when pregnant. Especially with this last one (my 3rd). And I still have them as I still have 25 lbs to lose. Oh well.
Just wanted to say congrats on making it to 26 weeks!
I’ve seen a 26 weeker up close, and I just want to remind Deuce to stay in as long as possible!
@ Trina – Thanks for the kind words. I doesn’t surprise me one bit that you told a lady that she was rude for telling you how big you were. It is funny. I actually make a point to tell preggy ladies how good they look and how they don’t look due any day now.
@Katie – I could see how being a bridesmaid in a potato sack wouldn’t make you feel good. I have starting walking more regularly last week and it has definitely helped. It makes me feel good knowing that I can still walk 2 miles and I am not so far out of shape to bounce back. And thank goodness this isn’t forever!
@Mommyzabs – I read your blog a while back and I think we were close in weight. So your comment is comforting. Oh, those last 25 will come off! I can’t image what it is like after having 3!
@Melissa – Deuce is kicking away and jumping on my bladder all the time. Thanks for the congrats. I am so glad yours is doing so well!
I gained 40, 25, then 40 (maybe 45) again. I got stuck at the same weight after they were all born until they were done nursing. Then the last 10 lbs. comes off. I’m working on those last 10 from the baby now. The body image thing hasn’t gotten easier for me–it has been harder. I think because I am paranoid that I am getting older and it won’t come off as easy or something.
Gaining 25 was easier on the body but I still looked the same post baby. So for me, I guess it doesn’t matter how much I gain. I made better choices when preggos with my second. I think I’ll be going back to that should a #4 happen!
i’m currently pregnant with our third and about 20 weeks along. i’ve had a hard time this time wanting to transition to maternity clothes. i hate the stage when your regular clothes fit tight, but you look like you’re wearing a tent if you wear a maternity top. i can still wear my non-pregnancy jeans and i’ll keep wearing them as long as i can. (once i switch i know it will take me a while to get back into them, so i’m taking advantage of every day i can wear them).
when i’m not pregnant, usually all my fat goes to my stomach (i don’t have fat on my legs and thighs which is nice, but have been self-conscious of my stomach all my life). when i got pregnant this time, i still had about five lbs. to lose from my last pregnancy. and that made me super self-conscious about my stomach. when people started saying “oh, you’re starting to show.” i’d say “no, that’s just me and my stomach fat.” it has been just in the last week or so that i’ve finally had to stop sucking in my stomach (i do it out of habbit because i’ve had to all my life). my muscles just can’t support my growing uterus anymore.
and it is soooo true! the older you are, the harder it is to lose weight after babies. with my first it wasn’t even and issue(i was 28), with my second (at 31) i still had five lbs to go when she was 18 months old and i got preggo again. i’m sure it has to do with crossing the threshold into my 30′s.
Jenny–I still think it is amazing that you are still in your regular jeans at 20 weeks!
Jenny — I’m sure it has something to do with your lifestyle as well. I remember you guys were sort of “roughing it” when you were pregnant w/ baby #1
As someone who had to hike up and down a large hill every day for the first 8 months of her pregnancy (and had to walk to the doctor occasionally because there wasn’t a taxi to be found), I can say that I gained WAAAYY less weight the second time around, and it was mostly b/c my lifestyle was totally different. I wasn’t working a desk job like I was w/ Lil Man, coming home exhausted at 6pm from a long day and (more often than not) going out for dinner instead of making it.
I think you look GREAT! I gained more the first time than the second time and felt better about myself the second time. That being said, I felt AWFUL the first time, gained 40 lbs, and didn’t have any pictures taken except for one family picture in a tree we take every summer and my baby shower pictures. I regretted my horrible self image, so when I was pregnant the second time, I tried to embrace my belly (and thighs and calves and face and cankles and new stretch marks). I gained 20-25 lbs with that pregnancy because I was happier and not eating because of added stress like I did in the first pregnancy. So, yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about, but for me it was reversed. And I think you look FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I gained a lot of weight with both pregnancies, esp ’cause they were so close together (within 2 years). When my second child was 4 mos old, I decided enough was enough and I started my running habit. (You know the rest…) – and now I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight, maybe a little smaller. Mind you, I was never thin, but this is a big accomplishment for me, and I still get to eat all the Cheezits I want!
I gained 40 pounds with both pregnancies.
Looking back at photos…
I look like a blob with the first one (when I felt so pretty) because I wore the big unfitted pregnancy shirts.
With the second one, I looked great (when I felt fat) because I bought fitted pregnancy clothes, that accentuated my boobs and tied to make it look like I still had a waist.
For me, it was all in the clothing choices!
I am 28 weeks pregnant with my third and HUGE. I gained 70 with my first, then lost 90 afterwards. Gained 40 with my second and lost 50 afterwards. I can’t even think about what my end weight gain is going to be this time around. I certainly do not feel “beautiful” or “adorable”, even though that’s apparently how we are supposed to feel. I do know, however, that I can lose it and that’s the only thing that makes it bearable. Anyway- appreciate everyone’s thoughts. I feel awful and depressed right now, but at the end I know I’m going to have a beautiful new baby AND my body back. If I could only cease the weight gain now….oh well. It is what it is I suppose.