The Mom Crowd

Today has been very busy! Late last week, I learned about this new movie, Tropic Blunder Thunder. It’s full of big name celebrities including Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey, Jr., Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, etc… The movie is a comedy making fun of actors. The main characters are actors in the movie, so there are “movies-within-the movie.” Tropic Thunder used one of these “movies-within-the-movie,” titled “Simple Jack” for a promotional campaign. Simple Jack was about a person with an intellectual disability and used hateful language and depicted his character in cruel ways. The promotional campaign included posters stating “Once upon a time, there was a retard” and a trailer for viewing which has Christine Taylor’s voice saying “I’ll talk to any retard I like.” During the production of the film, the cast discussed their concern about some of the racial slurs and wanted to make sure they didn’t cross the line with the racial banter, however they did nothing to protect anyone from the cruelty shown toward individuals with intellectual disabilities.

Major disability rights organizations discovered this and met with DreamWorks to discuss their concern and outrage over “Simple Jack.” The promotional campaign was pulled, however there were no changes to the movie made. In the movie, Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller’s character discusses his role as Simple Jack with Robert Downey, Jr. They discuss how Stiller stated that while making the film, he actually felt retarded. The two characters exchange cruel banter filled with derogatory terms toward people with intellectual disabilities and ends with Downey, Jr. telling Stiller to “never go full retard.” You can read the script HERE and watch parts of this scene on the trailer HERE. Shortly after this script leaked, t-shirts were found on the internet with the slogan, “Never Go Full Retard.” There are many more issues with the movie and those who have previewed it, such as representatives of the National Down Syndrome Congress say that after watching the film, they felt “assaulted” and it is actually worse than the internet activists have been able to show.

The creators and cast of “Tropic Thunder” have chosen to continue on with the release of the movie on Wednesday, August 13th without making any changes or cuts to the film. They claim that the film is satire and “the movie’s humor was aimed not at the disabled but at the foolishness of actors who will go to any length in advancing their careers.” Ha! There’s some irony for ya!

Timothy Shriver, chairman of the Special Olympics, wrote the most wonderful article in the Washington Post today. He describes the cruelty that is shown in our society toward people with intellectual disabilities. I was startled to learn that “Gallup found that more than 60 percent of Americans don’t want a person with an intellectual disability at their child’s school. ” We’ve come so far and I’m so happy we are not the society of 50 years ago, but in a society that aborts over 90% of prenatally diagnosed babies with Down syndrome it’s hard to say that we’ve arrived to the place of acceptance toward people with intellectual differences.

While freedom of speech is one of our greatest gifts, I am hoping that we as a society can make the word “retard” and the abuse of the word “retarded” taboo. I hope that we can teach our children that it is never ok to make fun of someone with intellectual disabilities, whether it is direct or indirect. I hope that we can choose to not do the “PC eyeroll” at people fighting the abuse of the words “mental retardation.” I hope that we will tell Hollywood what is funny and what is not funny. This is not about being “politically correct” this is about dignity and respect.

What am I doing about it?

• Blogging about this has been a way for me to create awareness and vent my frustration about this film and the abuse of my daughter’s medical diagnosis of mental retardation.
• Online forums and communities have also been an area I have been making a strong presence in. This has been a great way to get more up-to-date information and get ideas on how to make some changes. There is power in numbers!
• Boycotting the film. While this may or may not keep a large number of people from seeing this film, it will keep those who love my daughter from watching it. For every 1 person who is interested in this film because of the negative attention it is receiving, I hope that 5 people will be turned off of the movie.
• I am waiting to see what The ARC and my local Down Syndrome Association recommends regarding physically protesting at the movie theater. If I make a public appearance, I plan on having information handy (and will be calling our news station that did the interview again!)
• Contacting every local news source has proven to be successful as well!

I expect a lot of people to think I’m being extreme, oversensitive, and time-wasting. However, most people that would think that don’t have a little girl who is going to come home from the playground someday crying because she was called a retard. Most people don’t have typical sons who are going to come home crying because someone called their sister a retard. Although, the name-calling that is bound to ensue my children’s future is the “best case scenario” for my kids. Most people are unaware at the cruel, hateful, violent, dangerous acts that are committed against people with intellectual differences all the time. According to The Arc’s Q&A on abuse of children with intellectual disabilities, the statistics are that children with intellectual disabilites are 4-10 times more likely than non-disabled peers to be victims of crime and twice as likely to be victims of physically and sexual abuse.

The bottom line is this. My beautiful daughter, Darah who has an intellectual disability IS NOT a “retard.” That word has no place in any of our vocabulary, and Hollywood needs to understand that while my daughter does not yet have a voice to stand up for herself, she has a Mamma! And this Mamma is not going to sit back and allow her baby girl to be the butt of the joke!

I am calling in sick to my blog this week. Seriously, scrolling down pages makes me nauseated. In the meantime, here is a guest post from the hilarious Brittany from BarefootFoodie.com. Thank you, Brittany, for taking pity on me and guest posting!

I am so very excited to find myself over here on The Mom Crowd.  I am an avid reader of this site, mostly because these girls are brilliant, their posts are helpful, their kids are gorgeous, yada yada, I could go on for hours, but you all already know they are all kinds of awesome.  In fact, that’s why you are here, right now, reading this post, thinking, hey…this weird…this doesn’t look like a typical The Mom Crowd post…something is fishy.  And, you’d be right.  I am pretty sure the last thing anyone would say to me is that my posts were helpful and/or informative, unless you count “Wow, that was way more information than I needed to know about a stranger online.”  So, I am cutting my losses and doing what I know best, and that is hopefully entertaining you as I share a piece of what’s going on in my life at the moment.

So, here it is.

I’m getting old.

Music is loud, computers are confusing, I listen to NPR, and before my uterus sags any closer to the ground, we need to get down to business, and by business, I mean sex…in a completely fun, yet baby making capacity.

I mean, I have things to do, body parts to tighten up and surgically re-perk, I want to add number three to our brood, talk my hubby into a little discreet clipping, and go into my thirties with my pre-baby Carmen Electra physique.

Which, I should be totally psyched about, except this time I have decided to suck the fun out of things.  This time, ladies, I am taking charge…of my fertility.

Now, I’m not sure who was in charge of things before I decided to take over, but this place is a mess.  Beer cans and Cheetos everywhere.  X-rated movies just lying about.  The whole place smells like patchouli.  It’s like MTV’s Spring break in my womb.

Luckily, I am armed with the standard issue Taking Charge of your Fertility bible, the special pink thermometer, which I was relieved to learn is used to take my temp orally…and not someplace scary and uncomfortable, and I signed up for fertilityfriend.com, because honestly, I am lazy, charting is scary and daunting, and God knows where my toddlers have hidden all the pens in my house.

On top of all that, and because I clearly operate on a rational and scientific level, I’ve been googling baby making friendly diets.

Turns out, the all cherry popsicle diet I’ve been on to look more Nicole Kidman and less Carnie Wilson this pregnancy is a no go.

I just hope that when they say a diet full of protein and dairy, what they really mean is chinese take out and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

So, yeah, here we are, amidst our very first official cycle.  I’ve advised my husband to not bother wearing pants this month, and I’ve just finished my second dairy mandated ice cream cone for the day, so we are good to go.

I had no idea being in charge of my fertility was so painful…the ice cream headaches are killing me (insert rim shot).

A brief timeline:

• 2005: Pregnant with our first baby!

• 2006: Come home with our first baby!  Nursing!

• (later) 2006: Pregnant with second baby!  Still nursing first baby!

• (early) 2007: Stop nursing first baby!

• 2007: Come home with second baby!  Nursing!

• (mid) 2008: Stop nursing second baby…

Um, now what? 

Snack time, my favorite. I don’t know about you, but my idea of a favorite snack is a piece of chocolate cake with a caramel machiato from Starbucks. If I ate that everyday I would be in big trouble since my clothes would not fit me anymore! Of course serving chocolate cake and a highly caffienated beverage is not really an option for my 3 children. So, this is more for my own inspiration because I need some new ideas. And because I thought that several heads working together to better snack time for all of our growing and energetic children would be a benefit to all of us!

My (just turned!) 5 year old and 3 year old don’t get snacks very often. If they do it is usually in the morning time between breakfast and lunch. I notice that they are hungrier if they don’t eat any protein for breakfast so I’ll give them a snack. I cut out an afternoon snack a little over a year ago because I noticed that they weren’t eating much of dinner– which was healthier and covered a broader spectrum of food groups. When I cut out the afternoon snack they would eat a healthier dinner. Now my 11 month old is needing a snack in the afternoon and I want to make sure I plan ahead about what kind of foods to offer him. I know that if my other 2 see the baby eating they will start drooling for some too. So, either I will need to decide on a very small portion of snackage for them or tell them they have to wait for dinner. If I plan ahead enough then I can have the same healthy snack available for them in the morning.

In my ideal world, snacks are made from whole grain, whole foods with NO high fructose corn syrup. (I am avoiding a temptation to go off on a ***HFCS tangent….I mean seriously, WHEN will companies stop putting that terrible for you filler in their foods?!) That means that homemade snacks are probably the best option but not always realistic when life gets busy. Grabbing Goldfish and Cheerios are so easy and aren’t bad for you either. But I get tired of serving Goldfish, Cheerios, and grapes for a snack.

When Ewan was little I was great at having a huge variety of snacks available for him so I am going back to my books and magazines and pulling out some of the good ideas.

For the finger food eater (10+ months):

• Avacado chunks
• Cheese chunks
• Soft cooked veges (I like using a mixed vege frozen mix)
• Tofu chunks
• Scrambled egg yolk (for younger than 12 months)
• Hard boiled egg chunks
• Beans, lentils
• Sweet potato chunks
• Whole wheat pasta in small pieces (mix with light ricotta cheese for a protein boost)
• Small pieces of fruit (I just got a giant bag of frozen fruit with cantaloupe, grapes, peaches etc. in it and am using that for snacks)
• Whole grain/wheat pieces of bread, bagels, pancakes, or crackers
• Cottage cheese (totally messy but finger-foodalicious)

For toddlers on up:

Toddlers can eat more complicated food textures and combinations. I used to make muffins, pancakes, and whole grain cornmeal pancakes and freeze them. Then I could pull out one at a time and serve it.

• Hummus with veggie strips or pretzels (cucumbers, bell peppers, zucchini, carrots)
• Homemade granola (with or without plain yogurt)
• Small piece of whole grain/wheat toast with almond butter and fresh berries
• Whole wheat blueberry pancake
• Whole wheat banana muffins
• Apple slices with Almond or Sunflower butter
• Yogurt parfait with plain yogurt, fresh fruit, and granola
• Apple-Oat Pancakes (recipe below)
• Banana johnnycakes (recipe below)

Good Whole Food Snack Sources:

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron (Tons of great super healthy snacks and meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner)

Simply Natural Baby Food by Cathe Olson

Apple-Oat Pancakes from Simply Natural Baby Food

Soy, rice, or almond milk can be used if baby is not drinking cow’s milk.

• 1 3/4 c. rolled oats
• 1/4 c. almonds
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 2 eggs (or 4 egg yolks if baby isn’t eating egg whites)
• 1 1/3 c. milk (dairy or non-dairy)
• 1 apple grated

Grind oats and nuts to powder in a blender or food processor. Pour oat mixture into a large mixing bowl an stir in baking powder and cinnamon. Beat eggs and milk together. Grate apple in food processor or by hand. Add the egg mixture and apple to oats. Stir until just mixed. Let batter sit 5 minutes while griddle heats. Bake pancakes on a lightly oiled griddle or skillet over med. heat. Use approx. 1/4 cup batter for each pancake. Cook for 5 minutes. Turn when top is bubbly and edges are starting to dry. Cook for 3 to 5 minutes. Yield: 12 pancakes

Banana Johnnycakes from Simply Natural Baby Food

• 1 c. cornmeal
• pinch of sea salt
• 1 1/4 c. boiling water
• 2 tsp molasses or honey
• 1 banana, peeled and sliced

Place cornmeal and salt in heat-proofing mixing bowl. Whisk in boiling water and sweetener. Add bananas and stir gently. If batter is too thick, add a little water or milk. Bake cakes on a lightly oiled griddle or skillet over med. heat. Use approx 1/8 cup batter for each cake. Cook 5 minutes. Turn when edges begin to dry. Do not turn prematurely. Cook 3 to 5 more minutes. Remove from pan. Keep in warm oven until ready to serve. Yield: 10 pancakes

So, what yumm-i-o snacks do you feed your kids?

***We live by an incredibly busy railroad and we see train car after train car with the label High Fructose Corn Syrup on it. I mean a row of 25 of them! It is fascinating and gross at the same time. It makes me wonder how much of HFCS I have eaten over the course of my lifetime and how much of one of those cars it would fill. Blech!

Finding a reliable, energetic babysitter or nanny can be quite a challenge these days. When I was in high school, I remember competing to be “THE sitter” with many other high school girls. I babysat all the time and made quite a bit of cash. Now that I am a mom, it seems like there just aren’t as many eager young teens and college age gals looking for babysitting gigs.

I posted last week about creating a babysitter handbook, but that’s just not very valuable if you don’t have a babysitter! Here’s some ideas on where to find a great babysitter.

• Church – check with your college/young singles pastor or youth group leader at church for names of people who may be interested in babysitting!
• Local colleges – Most colleges have job banks where outsiders can post job opportunities for the students. This is how I found one of our regular babysitters!
• Tell EVERYONE you know! – You never know when your child’s soccer coach has a next door neighbor who is looking for a great babysitting gig!
• Homeschooling groups – Check your local homeschool group for reliable high schoolers who want to sit for families. The great thing about hiring a homeschooler is they are sometimes more flexible in their schedules. If you need a Friday morning sitter, you may be able to find a trusty 17 year old who is free on Friday mornings this way!
• Your local gym/day care center/karate class/music class/etc.. – Check with people who are already in the caregiving business, and even better, check with people who are already caring for YOUR children! The child care worker at the gym or your child’s day care teacher may be looking for some extra cash on the weekends or evenings. Scoop them up!
• Nanny or Babysitting websites-I don’t have any experience with this route, but you can join a website similar to this site or this site and have access to babysitters and nannies in your area, their contact information, their resumes, and their availability.

When you’ve found a couple candidates, there’s a few things you can do to make sure they are a good fit before inviting them into your home.

• Have a phone interview. If you need specific, regular times for the babysitter to work, make sure they are available when you need them. Also, confirm pay over the phone and if they have transportation.
• Meet them face to face. My mother-in-law met with our potential nanny at Starbucks and bought her a drink and discussed in more detail why she was wanting a nanny position and what made her qualified to care for children. My mother-in-law is super laid back, so it really was perfect to have her there. Other MIL’s may not be a great person to take on this interview. If you want to have someone else there if you’re husband is not available, ask a close friend. It’s always good to get someone else’s input on something like this.
• After the first meeting, I invited our potential nanny over to meet the children and see how she interacted with them. Prior to this, I offered her the job contingent on how she and the kids interacted and on her background check results. All went GREAT and we found ourselves a great nanny!

The most important part of finding a great babysitter is not letting them go when you find them! Pay them competitive rates and make sure you are not micromanaging them. Make them feel very appreciated and never take advantage of them! Happy hunting!

Where have you found your awesome sitter or nanny? What makes your relationship work so well? Any other advice?