The Mom Crowd

On Halloween, I was so excited to dress my kids up and see how adorable they looked in their costumes.  Our oldest gladly dawned his Mr. Incredible costume and was ready to head out the door.  Our almost two year old was not quite to happy to oblidge.  All I had to do is bring the costume near her and she screamed like I was pulling out her fingernails.  Actually getting it on her brought forth a thirty minute temper tantrum complete with the gasping for breath dramatic effect.  All of that made me angry.  Unrightly so, but I was mad.  I had longed to see my cute little girl all dressed up in her sweet “girly” outfit and she wanting nothing to do with it.  I finally gave up trying to convince her and fussed at her.  A few minutes later I realized how selfish I had been.  I was trying to force something on her that obviously made her unhappy and my response to it was completely inappropriate.  I got down on the floor, put her in my lap, cried and told her I was sorry.  She gave me a kiss, wanted to put on her shoes (to match her “normal” clothes), and we went on our way.

Many people would be shocked at the fact that I apologized to my toddler.  But why not?  Is she not a person too?  Did I not behave in a way that was wrong and hurtful?  It frustrates me to hear parents say “I am the parent,  I have the right” without taking their child’s feelings into consideration.  Not to mention, children learn by example.  We often times try to force our kids to apologize when they do something wrong to us or another child… even if they don’t mean it.  By allowing ourselves to show that we are not perfect and that we mess up too, we are allowing our children to accept that they don’t always have to be perfect, but that they should be aware of how their actions affect others. 

Another thing that was recently brought to my attention about apologizing to our kids is that it shows our children that we are all sinful and are all in need of a Savior.  My friend Ashley makes a practice of asking for her children’s forgiveness and then prays for her own forgiveness with her children.  When she told me about this, I thought it was a beautiful way to share your faith with your children. 

All that being said, it’s easy to ask forgiveness when you step on a toe, accidentally throw out a toy, or forget a birthday party, but asking forgiveness when you were acting selfish or even if you were just plain cranky is a lot more difficult, but no less needed.  Your children will learn to respect you and appreciate your honesty and they will learn how to respond to their own behaviors. 

Do you apologize to your children?  What specific way do you do it?

Photo Courtesy of deeleea

Last week Southwest Airlines escorted a mother and her 2 year old son off a flight to San Jose, CA, because he was screaming “Go Plane Go!” and “I want Daddy!” according the Associated Press. The crew was concerned that the passengers could not hear the safety briefing to abide within FAA guidelines. The mother, Pamela Root, assured the attendants that her son would be quiet after take off and that she had planned to feed him while in the air. Southwest Airlines has since apologized to the mother, refunded her money, and gave her a $300 dollar voucher for a future flight.

I first heard about this story from a Facebook status of a friend that was applauding Southwest Airlines. Many of the comments of the status were in full agreement with the decision. As a mother of a toddler I was initially flabbergasted and angry.

I understand that the crew had a real concern with the safety announcements, but I really wonder how loud was the child. I read that the crew made offers of juice and colors to calm the boy down.

Some days are better than others when I go out shopping with my toddler. I know when to call it quits and try again at another time. Perhaps this was one of this instances where you just need to try again later, even if you are inconvenienced. Or do you just get through it? Thankfully the mother didn’t have to make a connecting flight or miss any major events.

I am glad that Southwest Airlines apologized, because this could have a set a bad precedent for future flights with kids. It would not be good if any flight attendant could remove families at their discretion for small matters. I wonder what would have happened if this took place in another country?  Cathay Pacific very kind and understanding when I flew with a 7 month old baby. The flight from Los Angeles to Hong Kong had several children, but everyone seemed to recognized it was just a fact of life and got through with the flight.

This incident on Southwest Airlines ended up not being a huge deal. The mother flew out the next day which I can only assume to have been a much easier flight, since she and her child did not get kicked off again. I hope it doesn’t happen again to another family. Otherwise, those of us traveling with toddlers may be in for some trouble!

Do you have any traveling stories with toddlers? What would you have done in that situation? Did the attendants make the right decision?

More on traveling with children:

• Incredibly True Traveling Stories: a Q & with Moms

• Traveling 40 Hours with a 7 Month Old

• More Travel Tips with a Baby

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”  Hebrews 13:8

Are you in the mood for a creative writing exercise?  Indulge the English teacher in me for a moment and get a pen & paper.  Spend 5 minutes making a list of words or phrases that come to your mind when you hear the word “change”.  Do it!  I’ll be back in 5 minutes…

Okay, here’s my list.  (I have to share; I was totally one of those kids in English class who couldn’t wait to read what they wrote.)

• loose coins
• fall, trees, colors, leaves
• moving yet again
• growing up
• growing better
• growing older
• growing wiser
• hair dye
• bright red hair as seen on the metro in Budapest, Hungary (you had to be there)
• changing my mind
• changing seasons
• changing tastes
• change of address
• rhymes with range, strange
• is it the opposite of boredom?
• change it up a little!
• fickle
• unreliable

I generally love change.  I like rearranging furniture, the transition from one season to the next (hallelujah for fall!), and moving somewhere different after awhile.  I also struggle with change.  Whenever something new happens, something old fades away.   Patterns that were once vital give way to new routines and responsibilities.  It’s the cycle of life, really.  I both like it and am totally overwhelmed by it.

This simple yet powerful verse from Hebrews really keeps me grounded in times of great change.  New jobs.  New babies.  New addresses.  When everything around me is changing, and when relationships are put to the test, it is an incredible encouragement to reflect on the One who does not change:  Jesus.  He is utterly dependable, wholly reliable, and fantastically there.  All the time. 

In my times of struggle and uncertainty, I find myself worshipping God with one song over all others:  “Unchanging” by Chris Tomlin.  All of the lyrics celebrate the consistency and wonder of God, and they build up to this simple bridge:  “You were, You are, You will always be…”  What a comfort! 

Lord, we are grateful for how you remain consistent in our lives – you are ever faithful, and you never fail!  As we are tossed by the ebb and flow of our own doubts and uncertainties, our struggles and fears, please whisper your promises to us and help us see your goodness this week.  Amen.

Did you do the writing prompt?  Share your list in the comments!  What about God’s unchanging nature captures you?  And as a bonus, here’s a video of Tomlin leading a church in worship to this song.   May it encourage you this week as it has so often encouraged me.

Healthy Child, Whole Child by Dr. Stuart Kitchek and Dr. Russell Greenfield is a book for parents who are interested in using both conventional and alternative medicine for prevention and treatment of illnesses.  The book is easy to read and the chapters are divided in such a way that if your child is dealing with a particular issue you can flip to the chapter and find out more information.

One think I appreciate about the book is that it takes a look at the WHOLE child, including environmental factors, activity levels, diet, and sleep.  It promotes that idea that preventing illness is a better strategy to healthy living rather and just treating every illness with the most aggressive strategy.  The doctors who wrote this book practice health care with the philosophy that integrating conventional (mainstream medicine), alternative (chinese medicine, aruvedic) and complementary medicine (acupuncture, herbal, or nutritional therapies) is the best approach to treating children and families.  They don’t dismiss alternative and complementary medicine and often prescribe remedies from those forms of treatment for illness.  In fact doctors who practice the philosophy of integrative medicine prefer to save the more aggressive treatments of illness if the more gentle approaches to medicine don’t work first.  They also prefer to have longer than 10 or  15 minutes with their patients.  In later chapters the book takes a deeper look at several types of alternative treatments (massage, chiropractic care, counseling, meditation/relaxation, herbal remedies, chinese medicine and homeopathics).  This is helpful especially if you are new to those types of treatment for sickness.

For those of you who are interested, the book encourages vaccination as one of the ways to keep your kids from getting sick.  Two chapters are dedicated to explaining how the immune system works, how vaccinations work and why they are important.  The book also explains why the overuse of antibiotics is a key factor in the “superbugs” that are now resistant to antibiotic treatment. One example is getting antibiotics for every ear infection.  A more integrative approach is to look at the evidence that most ear infections are viral and will resolve themselves in about 3 days.  The pain can be treated with over the counter pain relievers and perhaps a prescription pain reliever.  This approach can be stretching for parents who have it ingrained that an ear infection automatically means you need antibiotics to treat it.  The book has a whole chapter dedicated to explaining the different types of ear infections and how they are treated.

One surprising chapter is chapter 9 which is about how to protect your children from the hidden messages in mainstream culture–things like instant gratification, looks are everything, negativity, violence, sex and drugs.  I appreciate that they consider the messages children receive as something important to look at when viewing the health of a child.

This is a good introduction book for parents who want to learn more about how to think about how to keep kids healthy. It isn’t a book that you use to try and diagnose what illness your child may or may not have.  The last third of the book DOES explain most of the common illnesses that kids get most often and ways to use both conventional medicine and alternative treatments.  Illnesses covered: headaches, ear infections, gastrointestinal “tummy troubles”, reflux, colds and other respitory illnesses, allergies and asthma, and skin problems.  Also covered (briefly) are attention disorders and sleep issues.  In my opinion, both of those topics could be their own book when incorporating integrative medicine.

I have found this book to be a helpful resource on my bookshelf that I can pick up if we are dealing with an issue at home.  Like I mentioned earlier, this is a good intro book for anyone interested in learning more about integrative medicine.  It has a little bit of everything in it and can be handy to have around.

Happy Reading!

Do you use both conventional treatment and alternative treatment for illness?  Do you think homeopathics is a sham?  Have you thought about using a more alternative approach for treating illness?  What’s worked for you?

Recently, I have found myself becoming a “paranoid parent” with regard to my children’s health.  All the constant flooding of the news about the Swine Flu or H1N1 Flu has really got me worried.  It is especially worrisome to me because our son, who has Type 1 Diabetes, is at a greater risk of complications should he contract one of these viruses. 

So, last night, I sat down and had a long talk with God.  There are only so many things we as parents can do to protect our children, from the flu or anything for that matter, and I really needed to get my thoughts into perspective.  After my prayer time, I felt much more at peace and decided that I would be proactive and do what I could, but also have to trust God for His protection.

Here are some things you can do to help protect your kids from the seasonal flu and H1N1:

Wash Your Hands – We all know the importance of washing our hands to prevent spreading illness.  The Centers for Disease Control emphasize washing with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze.  Alcohol based hand-sanitizers are also a great weapon in the flu fight!

Avoid Touching Your Eyes and Mouth – Your eyes and mouth are great germ transmitters, so avoid biting your fingernails or playing with your eyelashes!

Cough or Sneeze Into Tissue – Coughing or sneezing into a tissue and throwing it away is the best way to get rid of your germs.  Make sure to wash your hands afterward.  If a tissue is not readily available, it is suggested that you cough or sneeze into your sleeve and NOT your hand.

Avoid Sick People – This seems like an easy one, right?  But reality is that we are exposed to sick people everyday at the grocery store, post office, or even at church.  Encourage your friends NOT to bring their kids over even if they “just have a runny nose, but no fever”.  Also, if one of your children gets sick, try to keep the others from playing with them until they have been fever free for at least 24 hours.

Sanitize Your Toys – I am guilty of not doing this as often as I should, but it’s great practice to take out the toys and sanitize them often, especially after a child is ill.  This will help prevent the spreading of “old germs” and possibly new ones. 

Get Vaccinated – Everyone in your family should get their annual flu shot.  It’s the best way to prevent contracting the flu.  If you are sensitive to the vaccine or agents in it, talk to your doctor or your child’s doctor about your options.  If your pediatrician’s office isn’t offering the flu vaccine or has run out (like mine did!), CVS and Walgreens walk-in clinics provide flu shots to children 18 months and older.  Contact your local one to see if they have the vaccine in stock before heading out. 

Pray – Let’s face it, we can do all of the things listed above and someone is still bound to get sick, so the best way to keep your sanity during this crazy time is to pray and trust God for His protection and health.  If nothing else, it’s a great way to to find peace!

For more information about the seasonal flu or the H1N1 virus, check out the CDC website or the government’s special flu website. 

What have you done to safeguard your family during this flu season? 

Photo Courtesy of itsv