The Mom Crowd

I am calling in sick to my blog this week. Seriously, scrolling down pages makes me nauseated. In the meantime, here is a guest post from the hilarious Brittany from BarefootFoodie.com. Thank you, Brittany, for taking pity on me and guest posting!

I am so very excited to find myself over here on The Mom Crowd.  I am an avid reader of this site, mostly because these girls are brilliant, their posts are helpful, their kids are gorgeous, yada yada, I could go on for hours, but you all already know they are all kinds of awesome.  In fact, that’s why you are here, right now, reading this post, thinking, hey…this weird…this doesn’t look like a typical The Mom Crowd post…something is fishy.  And, you’d be right.  I am pretty sure the last thing anyone would say to me is that my posts were helpful and/or informative, unless you count “Wow, that was way more information than I needed to know about a stranger online.”  So, I am cutting my losses and doing what I know best, and that is hopefully entertaining you as I share a piece of what’s going on in my life at the moment.

So, here it is.

I’m getting old.

Music is loud, computers are confusing, I listen to NPR, and before my uterus sags any closer to the ground, we need to get down to business, and by business, I mean sex…in a completely fun, yet baby making capacity.

I mean, I have things to do, body parts to tighten up and surgically re-perk, I want to add number three to our brood, talk my hubby into a little discreet clipping, and go into my thirties with my pre-baby Carmen Electra physique.

Which, I should be totally psyched about, except this time I have decided to suck the fun out of things.  This time, ladies, I am taking charge…of my fertility.

Now, I’m not sure who was in charge of things before I decided to take over, but this place is a mess.  Beer cans and Cheetos everywhere.  X-rated movies just lying about.  The whole place smells like patchouli.  It’s like MTV’s Spring break in my womb.

Luckily, I am armed with the standard issue Taking Charge of your Fertility bible, the special pink thermometer, which I was relieved to learn is used to take my temp orally…and not someplace scary and uncomfortable, and I signed up for fertilityfriend.com, because honestly, I am lazy, charting is scary and daunting, and God knows where my toddlers have hidden all the pens in my house.

On top of all that, and because I clearly operate on a rational and scientific level, I’ve been googling baby making friendly diets.

Turns out, the all cherry popsicle diet I’ve been on to look more Nicole Kidman and less Carnie Wilson this pregnancy is a no go.

I just hope that when they say a diet full of protein and dairy, what they really mean is chinese take out and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

So, yeah, here we are, amidst our very first official cycle.  I’ve advised my husband to not bother wearing pants this month, and I’ve just finished my second dairy mandated ice cream cone for the day, so we are good to go.

I had no idea being in charge of my fertility was so painful…the ice cream headaches are killing me (insert rim shot).

I don’t have a helpful or interesting topic today. I am still battling All Day Nausea. I have spent the entire weekend in bed or on the couch and I have missed two parties. In fact I haven’t left my house in over a week. Yesterday, my husband and I walked to our mailbox and I immediately threw up when we got back to the house.

Last Thursday night I broke down crying. Being sick is lonely. You don’t get to go out and see anyone. I don’t what the heck I want to eat most of the time. In fact, I don’t want to eat at all, but I know I have to for the baby and so I don’t have to get an IV. I hate that I can’t do anything around the house to help and I feel like I just boss my husband around all day. (I am sure most women would love that.) But we knew before starting the whole process of a second one, that would mean that Daniel has to do everything. He is doing a fantastic job feeding Ace and taking care of her. I try to watch Ace from the couch in the afternoons so he can at least get some work done.

So I just wanted to whine again here on The Mom Crowd. Morning sickness is really horrible. I keep thinking, “What if I can’t do this a third time and we only have 2 kids?” People say I can make it through it again, but I hate this. If my morning sickness lasts 20 weeks again like it did last time. I don’t know if I will want to try for number 3.

What I do know is that tomorrow I am 8 weeks along. In two weeks I will be able to hear my baby’s heartbeat and that will make it all worth while. But I still have two weeks of vomiting and hating food to go.

P.S. As I wrote this up I smelled the dry cat food and totally threw up my lime sherbert. Oh, I did get some meds. The Zofran works really well, but my insurance would only give me 12 pills every thirty days. I may have to call back my doc’s office to push it through insurance. When I called last week they gave me Phinagrin(sp?). I took it Saturday morning and it knocked me off my butt and I slept all day.

Thanks for letting me whine again.

After I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago my husband and I had to decide when to tell people we are pregnant with our second. With the first baby we immediately told our family and a few close friends who knew we were trying. My mother-in-law’s Baby Radar is off the charts and we wanted to tell her before she figured it out herself. I waited to tell my job and the rest of the world until after my first appointment at the doctor’s office.

This time around we decided to birth at the San Antonio Birthing Center and my first appointment isn’t until I am 10 – 12 weeks along. We just can’t wait that long for confirmation before we tell everyone. Also, with me getting sick so early it is kind of hard to hide. So we told the world last week.

I know some people enjoy having a secret or choose to keep it a secret until they have more confirmation than a pee stick that everything is okay. I have never been through the loss of a pregnancy. I wouldn’t know if I would want the support of my friends if something horrible happens or if I would hate having to tell people over and over again what happened. I think this is one of the main reasons people wait to tell the world. Everyone’s situation is so different based on their previous experiences and the way they handle grief.

It all comes down to the time that you feel comfortable telling everyone. Also, as friends and family we she should never be insulted or upset when we hear that someone else is pregnant and has been for a long time. When someone chooses to tell you is completely up to them.

My husband and I aren’t the kind of people that can keep exciting news to ourselves. Two months ago I told a few friends that I thought I was pregnant only to get a full blown period a few days later and sending out a sheepish email saying I wasn’t after all. (I really think that when you get off the pill your hormones go all wacky.) I would definitely wait until you see the double pink lines before you tell people that you think you are pregnant.

When did you tell people you were pregnant? Was anyone ever insulted that you told them later in your pregnancy? 

Additional Resources:

BabyCenter: When should I tell family members that I’m pregnant?
Mothering: When to tell people that you are pregnant?
The Poop: When should you tell people you’re pregnant?

I prepared for childbirth like most moms. My husband and I attended a series of child birthing classes and created a birthing plan. I had incredibly fast labors with both of my children. During my first delivery, my epidural made my whole bottom half incredibly numb (just like it’s supposed to) which made it hard to push. My nurse asked me if I wanted to use the mirror so I could see the muscles contracting and I could know how to push effectively. Well, I wasn’t planning on keeping the mirror there for very long, but Darah came very quickly and there wasn’t time to tell the nurse to get the mirror out of the way. I watched her delivery and it was incredible! I was so glad the mirror was there! It was so amazing to see her little body enter the world for the first time. I will never forget that moment. It was perfection!

Fast forward two years and three months later. I found myself again in the delivery room, dilated to 10cm, and ready to PUSH! I specifically asked the nurse for the mirror this time because I wanted to have that magical moment of watching my second child’s delivery. Well, this one didn’t just slide right out like my first. I know this isn’t record breaking, but compared to the time it took to push my daughter out (less than 10 minutes), 45 minutes felt like an eternity! I was getting nervous because he wasn’t coming out very quickly and was very irritable. The mirror was getting on my nerves. I didn’t remember that it was a magnified mirror before and my butt was huge! This was not nearly as romantic as using the mirror with my daughter’s delivery, but I felt committed. Second children always get the short end of the stick, and I didn’t want to start short-changing things for my second child in the delivery room!

So, the mirror stayed and I (and everyone else in the room) stared at my butt in a 10x magnified miror for 45 minutes. The saddest part is my eyes were closed during his delivery and I missed it anyway. We later found out why he had such a hard time arriving…he was 10 pounds! The second he was born, I completely forgot the mirror was there and gazed at my perfect little boy. I then looked back down and saw the crazy long umbilical cord (I had no idea how long that thing was!) and saw the doctor going to town with a needle and a thread on my poor body…all magnified in that blasted mirror! I told the nurse to move the mirror and went back to heaven in my arms.

If we have another baby, I will most definitely use the mirror again. The only thing I’ll change is it will not be pointed to my butt until the baby is crowning!

I’m not even going to ask a question to start some conversation…I am hoping some fun discussions sprout on their own from this brave honesty of mine!

Kegels.

Pubococcygeus Muscle (PC muscle).

Know what I am talking about?

The Kegel exercise is one that strengthens the pubococcygeus muscle which is part of your pelvic floor. They are called Kegels because it is named after a Dr. Kegel who came up with the exercise of tightening and relaxing the muscle.

Still don’t know what I am talking about?

You may have been told to do some kegel exercises during pregnancy. The simplest way to know if you are doing the exercise correctly is to sit on the toilet while you are peeing and try to stop the flow of urine. When you contract and release your PC muscle you should notice a starting/stopping or slowing of the urine leaving your body.

There are many benefits to “kegeling” for a pregnant woman. First, it can help with urinary incontinence. During pregnancy it is normal for muscles to relax and women often find themselves leaking a little pee when they laugh, sneeze, cough, run etc. Doing Kegels regularly will help prevent urine leaks. Studies have shown that it doesn’t matter whether or not you have had a vaginal birth or c-section—- pregnancy strains or weakens the pelvic floor muscles. It was once believed that having an episiotomy prevented urinary incontinence but studies have shown that doing kegels regularly can help prevent and heal a weakened pelvic floor muscle during pregnancy.

One of the most important benefits of having a strong pelvic floor during pregnancy is that it helps the baby’s chin to be tucked into its chest. This allows the best positioning for the baby’s head to help dilate the cervix and then slip through the pelvis and birth canal. If the baby’s chin isn’t tucked into its chest during birth it can make labor and birth more difficult. Pushing your baby out gently (as opposed to pushing really hard as the baby head crowns and shoulders come out) also helps prevent tearing. Deep perineal tears and episiotomies can also compromise your pelvic floor since your perineum (what is torn or cut) is attached to that muscle. There are many things you can do to help prevent tearing during the pushing part of birth but that is a whole other post!

Kegel exercises are the first exercises you can do after birthing your baby. You can start with the doctor or midwife’s okay 24 hours after the birth.

Kegel exercises benefit women in more ways than urinary continence. It also makes sex more, um, pleasurable for both the woman and her husband/partner. It helps women to have increased blood flow in the sensitive areas during sex and also helps women to have orgasms. When you first start doing Kegels after the baby is born it is quite difficult but it gets easier as time goes on and it is definitely worth it! I always laugh at a part in Jenny McCarthy’s book Baby Laughs where she and her husband would joke about whether or not sex would feel like “throwing a hot dog down a hallway” after having a baby. Kegel exercises prevent postpartum sex from feeling like that!

Older women tend to have more problems with urinary incontinence and pelvic prolapse (when pelvic organs slip down too far). Practicing Kegels throughout one’s lifetime can promote a better sex life, less urinary and bowel incontinence, and healthy pelvic organ placement. The hardest thing about the very simple Kegel exercise is remembering to do them.

In order to get started all you need is a few quiet moments to concentrate and make sure you are doing them correctly. Keep the kids out of the bathroom a time or two (easier said than done, I know!) so you can have some peace and quiet. Try to start and stop the urine flow while you are peeing. Once you get the hang of how the muscle works you can now do your Kegels anywhere! It is actually not recommended to do them on the toilet (regularly) because it could encourage bacteria to flow back into the bladder which can cause a bladder infection.

You can Kegel at red lights, while watching tv, folding laundry, doing the dishes, playing legos–whatever works for you.

Start by:

Doing 50 a day for a few weeks. Then work your way up to 100 a day for a few weeks. Then 200 a day.

Some patterns of Kegels:

Contract and then let fade away

Contract/Release

Contract, Hold for 2 seconds, Release

Contract, Contract, Contract, Hold, Release, Release, Release (like stair steps)

If you work your way through the patterns, I think you will see an improvement in your PC muscle over the next month. Good luck!