The Mom Crowd

Happy Earth Day!

The purpose of Earth Day is to promote awareness about the environment and to inspire people to join in the cause to take care of our planet.  There are so many ways to be involved in taking care of our planet that sometimes it can be overwhelming.  It is important to remember that we can all do our part, start slowly, then keep building on the changes we DO make to help reverse some of the problems we have created by NOT taking care of our planet.

For this Earth Day, I want to highlight a book called Healthy Child Healthy World by Christopher Gavigan.  Healthy Child Healthy World is an organization founded by parents Nancy and James Chuda, who lost their daughter, Colette, to a rare form of cancer when she was 5 years old.  They felt like her cancer was triggered by environmental factors and started to research how toxic substances and environmental exposures have an impact on children.  With the help of some friends and family, they started the organization to help educate the public and be an advocate for children and their environmental health. Christopher Gavigan is the CEO and executive director of Healthy Child Healthy World and is comitted to helping families make their homes safer for children.

The chapters cover just about every aspect of making your home a safer, cleaner, greener place for you and your children–even beginning with pregnancy and what you can do to help prepare your home for the baby. First and foremost, the way you eat during your pregnancy has a big impact on you and the baby’s health.  Avoiding preservatives and additives like MSG and artificial food coloring are a good first place to start.  In my birth classes we have one whole class dedicated to nutrition during pregnancy.  Good nutrition is important for everyone–especially when you are growing a baby!

Avoiding chemicals, like phthalates, in (some) lotions and other cosmetics can also help protect the baby. The book offers itself as a guide as you think about everything from baby showers to products to put (or avoid) in the nursery. Gavigan offers specific recipes for replacing the harsh, store bought cleaners with safe, homemade cleaners.  Store bought cleaners have chemicals in them that can cause problems like poisoning, respitory difficulites, organ damage, and deteriorating the freshwater supply.

The book offers interesting information about the ingredients in our beauty supplies–it is enough to make you consider replacing some of the products you probably use on a daily basis.

The chapter on Child’s Play is helpful and a great place for new parents with young children.  We have all been awakened to the idea that perhaps not everyone has the best interests of our children at heart after all those recalls of toys with high levels of lead in them.  Choosing toys, clothes, and baby products is most helpful early on–and gets more difficult later on if you are trying to avoid large amounts of plastic toys (that is from my own experience).  We have a lot of toys in our house–many of them plastic. If I could start over I would have a lot LESS plastic, and more long-lasting toys.   The chapter even has some recipes in it for safe art supplies!

Pets, pesticides, and indoor air pollution is also covered in the book.  I was surprised at how easy and simple some of the ideas were for minimizing and eliminating pests in the household without resorting to the more toxic chemical solutions.  I’m telling you, this book covers everything!  The back of the book is filledwith TONS of resources of retailers and organizations to help you along in your journey to making your home safer and greener.

If you are interested in having a resource on hand, this is a good one to have.  As you read through it, remember: “No one can do everything. Everyone can do something.”

What “green” things do you already do at your house?  Have you read this book? Heard of it? What did you think?

We recently found out that we are expecting baby #4 in December.  When we found out we were pregnant my husband, Jon, started feeling a little nausea if he didn’t eat every few hours.  Or he would just feel like he needed to eat.  Like his stomach needed something more–even though he just ate.  And he started craving things that have sustenance–like cheeseburgers, not carrots.  He describes it as his stomach gets tight and he feels like he might throw up if he doesn’t eat something.  He feels grumpy and just wants to eat.  And he has been craving more sweets.  He is more of a salt guy than a sweets guy so that is a new symptom too.

When he starts telling me all this I can’t help but laugh!  I have felt that way with the last 3 pregnancies!  Yes, I know what it is like to HAVE to eat every few hours or face the porcelain god.  Yes, I know that protein/cheeseburgers are more filling and help you feel better for longer when you are dealing with morning sickness and that the idea of eating veggies and couscous for dinner may not sound appealing.  Yes, I know what it is like to feel like you don’t care what someone is saying because all you can think about is what you need to be putting in your stomach so you don’t feel like you are going to toss your cookies.

We decided that he is experiencing Sympathy Morning Sickness.  And I say, “I’m so thankful!”  Nausea debilitates me.  I have a hard time NOT throwing up and once I start it is hard to stop.  I don’t feel like I have time to figure to mess with what we call “inconvenience sickness”. I have way too much other stuff to do–shuffle 2 kids back and forth from school, do laundry for 5 people, cook meals, keep the house in a somewhat reasonable living condition, and oh yeah, start packing/selling/decluttering our stuff for a move to England later this summer! I digress. Now, truth be told, I am only 6 weeks along and I usually don’t start getting heavy nausea until week 7.  We will see how this whole scene plays out.  Perhaps it will come full force in the next week.  Or maybe, just maybe, he’ll have it the whole time.

Many people have reported similar things. I mentioned it in my birth class on Sunday night and one of my couples said the same thing happened to them.  I found this website where women shared their stories about sympathy morning sickness/pregnancy pains.  Now it is fun to ask couples with kids if they ever experienced that same thing.

So, what about you?  Did your husband experience sympathy morning sickness?  Weight gain? Pregnancy pains? C’mon! Share your stories!

I found that t-shirt from Cafe Press. I thought it was pretty cute .

I got to spend a whole day with Ina May Gaskin, well known midwife and author of books Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and Spiritual Midwifery.  She came to Pittsburgh to speak to a group of doulas, childbirth educators, midwives, labor nurses, and anyone interested in the power of birth.  She gave several talks: Hands: Our Treasured Tools, Sphincter Law, Forgotten Powers of the Vagina, Demand Cesareans, and Post-Date Inductions.  

I was very interested in her talk on post-date inductions because this issue is one that is so common and one that many women have to face, either by doctors who are pushing inductions for various reasons (many unnecessary), or by women who do go past their due dates.  I rather enjoyed her talk on Sphincter Law.  Not only was it entertaining, but she highlighted the idea that bringing humor into the labor room can be freeing for the woman in labor and can also help her labor to chug along and be less painful.

A word about induction:  Did you know that first time moms who get induced are twice as likely to end up with a cesarean than mothers who go into spontaneous labor?  Did you know that there are many natural things you can try to get labor going instead of opting for pitocin first?  Did you know that many practices like to induce women with a drug called Cytotec (misoprostal) that has not been proven to be safe for pregnant mothers?  It is a great drug to use for post-partum hemorhage but when used to induce labor, there can be many complications.  Cytotec is a drug that cannot be counteracted, it can’t be turned off like pitocin can.  It can’t be removed from the body. One of the complications of the drug is that it can cause hyperstimulation of the uterus which can then distress the baby.  Using a drug that can’t be counteracted and can have harmful effect on both the mother and the baby is not wise.  Many women are not shared the possible risks when given this drug.  Ina May is very passionate about women knowing their options when it comes to birth.

In her book, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, she goes over the theory of Sphincter Law thoroughly.  It was fun to hear her talk about it in person.  The basic premise behind Sphincter Law is that the cervix also functions like a sphincter.  Like our other well known sphincters (think toilet humor), the cervix doesn’t respond well to commands, pressure, or fear.  How many of you have had “stage fright” when it comes to pooping or peeing in front of someone or sitting next to someone in the next stall?  Our emotional state of relaxation can have a powerful effect on the cervix.  Fear and shame can keep the cervix closed.  Ina May talked extensively about how bringing in a sense of humor into the place of birth can help the body release endorphins that overrule the adrenaline that gets released when afraid.  Sometimes not understanding what is going on with your body while it is laboring can cause fear too.  Her suggestions for keeping that cervix open and able to open is to bring in humor and allowing your mouth and jaw to relax. Making low groaning sounds or making your lips vibrate like a horse can keep that jaw relaxed.  (Relaxing your jaw also helps  you to poop when it feels difficult to do so .) She recommends that kissing your husband while laboring can also help keep that jaw relaxed.  Of course, if you are laboring in the hospital, you might want to ask for some privacy .

Ina May also talked about her project, The Safe Motherhood Quilt Project.  She started this project several years ago to try and waken the government to the need to decrease the maternal mortality rate here in the US.  Did you know that the maternal mortality rate has not decreased since 1982?  It is increasing, in fact. It is also thought to be grossly underestimated.  We are ranked behind 40 other countried for maternal mortality.  You would think that with all of our technology that the rate would be decreasing but that is not the case.  As the rate of Cesareans has risen, so has the maternal mortality rate.  

Some of the deaths that happen every year of unpreventable, but many are not.  Ina May started making a quilt in honor of the mothers that have died from complications of birth. An interesting phenomenon is the increase of death from amniotic fluid embolism.  Some speculate that the increase of inductions is also increasing the number of deaths from amniotic fluid embolism.  There needs to be more studies done so to show why there is such an increase.

I cannot tell you how important it is to spread the word for women to know their options when it comes to birth.  I advocate giving birth where you feel the most comfortable.  For some women, that is at home.  For others, it is at a birth center or hospital.  It is so important to know the procedures that are done and what the risks and benefits are.  For example, when a woman show up in labor at the hospital, the staff will break her water, insert an internal fetal monitor, and even start her on a pitocin drip to speed up the labor.  A mom may not know that as long as her and the baby are okay, breaking the bag of waters and inserting an internal fetal monitor is going overboard.  Using pitocin when it is not needed is simply unnecssary and introduces risks to the mother and baby.  She may not know that it is okay to refuse those things.   

There are many resources available to help women make informed choices about childbirth.  Some of my favorite books are:

• Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
• Creating Your Birth Plan: The Definitive Guide to a Safe and Empowering Birth by Marsden Wagner
• Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First by Marsden Wagner
• Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block
• Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy
• Natural Birth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon

I had a great time enjoying my maternity leave from The Mom Crowd. Thank you so much for all the guest bloggers that filled in for myself, McKenna, Dawn, and Amelia while we either having a baby, going on vacation, or going to Eastern Europe to bring home a new adopted member of the family!

I LOVE hearing labor and delivery stories and I thought I would share how my second delivery went in my first post back. I love how having a blog forces me to write out my story. I know years from now I am going to be glad I wrote this story.

Roman’s Birth Story

I woke up March 3rd at 5:41 a.m. with my first contraction. I was already dilated to 3 cm and the baby was in -1 station before my labor began. The day before my lower back hurt really bad, but I still went walking with my friend Barb around an outdoor mall here in San Antonio to help induce my labor. Looks like walking worked!

For the first hour my contractions were every 10 minutes apart. I woke up my husband after the first hour and he began to time them. I am super thankful that my 22-month-old daughter had Mother’s Day Out (MDO) that day and my husband managed to get her there on time. We also made arrangements for other people to take care of her the rest of the day after MDO. I laid in bed all morning watching t.v. in between contractions.

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Danelle “Barbi” Ice is a problogger and the founder/editor of HomemakerBarbi.com, an online Home & How-To magazine with free resources specializing in homemaking, parenting, frugal living, and family life.  If you liked this article, visit Homemaker Barbi!

New moms wonder about a lot of things as they experience pregnancy, from losing baby weight to pregnant body image.  What you’re most curious about – the weird, funny questions and deep, dark feelings – are what we’re not afraid to talk about.  If you missed yesterday’s 6 truths about pregnancy and motherhood, go read it first.

Below, we’re giving you 6 more truths you don’t have to wonder about anymore!

1.  It’s okay to wear your maternity clothes before you need them just so people will know you’re pregnant.  It’s completely normal to wish you were showing the day you find out the news!  Before you start to show, you walk around feeling different and pregnant, but to the rest of the world you look exactly the same.  If you’re excited for your new maternity clothes and really want people to know your news, by all means – pack away your pre-pregnancy clothes and go maternity now.

2.  Pregnancy tees with funny sayings are A-OK!  Celebrities are wearing them these days, even dads are wearing them.  Shirts that have funny pictures and sayings about pregnancy are all the rage.  2chix.com has “Bun in the oven”, “What’s kickin?”, “It’s a girl”, “Pregzilla”, “You had me at epidural”, and the list goes on and on.  More and more moms want to show off their pregnancies with baby bump t-shirts that advertise the joyous news.  Will you get weird looks and comments from some childless people?  Yes, but who cares!  Enjoy your pregnancy any way you want to – these shirts are a definite “Do”!

3.  Be balanced about baby talk or risk burning out others.  While some husbands and relatives will be just as consumed with thinking about and talking about the baby as you are, keep a balance.  The baby is in you, growing, moving, changing your habits, and with you everywhere you go, every minute.  It’s natural that your thinking will be focused on baby-related talk much of the time.

Please keep this in mind: your husband, friends, and family members are excited about the baby too, but they still love the pre-pregnancy you as well.  It doesn’t have to be baby talk 24/7!  Every once in a while, it’s okay to call up girlfriends and chat about this week’s episode of Lost.  Have a romantic dinner date with your hubby in which you talk about dreams, stories, and interests not centered on the baby.  You can still be the woman he fell in love with, dreams about, and lusts after too – not shifted into the role of mommy and baby-maker 100% of the time!

4.  Breastfeeding is not for every mom.  If you can’t breastfeed, don’t feel guilty.  If you don’t want to, don’t feel bad.  Own your decision and do not listen to unsolicited recommendations from your friends or family.  The decision to breastfeed or not is yours alone; it’s your body and only you have to feel comfortable with what you do.

5.  Not every woman adjusts to motherhood quickly after her first baby is born.  Some women shift into “mommy mode” during pregnancy.  However, others may still not be used to their new role for several months after giving birth.  Give it time and don’t feel bad if it doesn’t come to you naturally right away.  Your new role is a major life change, and it will grow on you with time and experience, so don’t worry!

6.  It is natural to be proud of your pregnant body one minute, and self-conscious the next.  If you’re 7 months pregnant, feel as big as a house (I did), and uncomfortable, it’s hard to feel beautiful and attractive 100% of the time.  Your thoughts may vary wildly, from proud and wanting to show off that baby bump to wishing for your skinny pre-pregnancy body back.

When I was pregnant, I could walk through a store feeling big and proud, until I saw a beautiful (non-pregnant) woman walk by, wearing a stylish (non-maternity) outfit.  Instantly, I’d have a desperate longing for my regular body back, I’d feel large and un-pretty, and feel a little out of place.

While not enjoyable, this body image flip-flop is completely normal!  Your body image in your mind is the picture of how you envision yourself.  For most of us, that picture is how we’ve looked for most of our lives, not the way we look now that we’re pregnant.  It can be hard for the brain to reconcile the discrepancy between those two images during pregnancy.  Focus on the end result: a beautiful baby, an addition to your family, and your non-pregnant body back when it’s all said and done!

If you liked the 12 pregnancy truths, be sure to subscribe to Homemaker Barbi’s RSS feed and The Mom Crowd’s RSS feed for more articles about motherhood!

Photo courtesy of stock.exchange.