The Mom Crowd

When I told my husband that I was planning to write about this topic this week, he thought I was being a little premature with the subject matter… money saving for Christmas.  So many people shop early and are done, but then there are those of us who wait until the week before to buy our presents.  Personally, I loved how I did it last year and thought I’d pass along some of my money saving and making ideas to you.

Have a garage sale in November – Ok, so I know that not everyone lives in Houston like I do, where it’s usually balmy and comfortable in November, but still… it’s so worth it!  A few of my friends and I had a large sale last year and I made over $200 that I dedicated to Christmas gifts.  It was a great idea because we didn’t have to spend any of our money out of our checking account (or savings) for gifts.  It also cleared up a lot of room for new toys and clothes for the kids.

Shop the sales now and keep your receipts –  Last year I bought a musical play table at Target for $45 and a few weeks later it went on sale at Toys R Us.  I got their Big Book and found an extra $5 off coupon, so I got the table for $15 cheaper.  I returned the one I bought at Target and ended up spending less money than I had originally thought.  Don’t be afraid to return something if you find it cheaper at another store after your original purchase.

Take advantage of coupons – Some stores are having fantastic sales and even have some pretty amazing coupons for toys in the month of November.  Target recently published an online site with over 50 toy coupons.  Other coupon sites also have toy coupons that are good through the end of this month.  In this economy, no one is going to think less of you for being frugal!

Shop resale stores and garage sales – Resale stores and places like Half Price Books are great for those items that don’t necessarily need a box. You can always find some great children’s books at garage sales, too.  (Be sure to disinfect the books if you buy them used). 

Sign up for online giveaways – You never know how lucky you can be!  Why not take 1 minute to sign up for a Wii giveaway or for a free laptop?  It would be a great gift if you win!  Sites like Freebies4Mom offer giveaways and links to other giveaways daily. 

The best thing to remember is to have fun with it.  Find a way to save that is fun for you.  If you are a catalog shopper, flip the pages and compare.  If you prefer to shop online, make sure you know the store’s return policy before you buy if you think you might return your purchases.  And don’t forget, your kids will enjoy the holidays no matter how much you spend on them as long as you are there!  They don’t need to know you paid less for their new game than their friend’s mom did! 🙂  Happy Shopping!

What are your money saving rituals?  Do you have any special plans this year for keeping Christmas spending under control? 

Photo courtesy of bowbrick

Christy’s post last week got me thinking about our family dynamic.  My husband works close to home (and even from home, occasionally), but he also does a LOT of traveling for his PhD studies.  He’ll be gone for anywhere from ten days to twelve weeks at a time.  The traveling can be difficult for him, with frequent travels through international airports (and their security), sleeping on couches at friends’ houses, and eating out every day (which he hates doing).  I’ve also witnessed how it has affected our children.

It’s hard on us when our husbands have to leave on business (or TDY), but it can even be harder on the kids.  When kids are young, they have little or no concept of time.  Saying “daddy will be home in ten days” or something along those lines just doesn’t register with them.  The first time my husband left us to do some PhD work at his university (in another country), he was gone for over two months.  Ten weeks?  Seventy days?  How was I supposed to explain this?  My four year old could only count to twenty!  Fortunately, I have a dear friend who was stationed overseas a couple of years ago, and during that time, her husband was deployed three times.  Her kids were also very young at the time, and she gave me some very helpful advice to get me and the kids through those very difficult weeks away.

Make a “daddy” book: Create a mini photo album filled with pictures of dad playing and interacting with the kids.  Let the kids carry them around, or prop it up next to their bed at night, so daddy’s right there with them. Some parents have put pictures of their spouses on the kids’ pillowcases (which you can order from Snapfish).

“Count” down the days until dad gets home: Whenever my husband leaves, whether it be for a few days or weeks, we create a Jellybean Countdown Container.  As you can probably guess, we take an old jar and fill it with jellybeans, and the number of treats corresponds with the number of days that my husband is gone.  The kids get one jellybean out of the jar every day, and that way, they know that daddy’s coming home when the jar is empty!

Let the kids use things that smell like dad: I would let my son use dad’s cologne if he wanted to smell like daddy.  Just dab a little on his wrist or spray his shirt, and he was good to go.  I, too, would occasionally use his cologne, spray one of his flannel shirts, and sleep in it at night.

Give them “kisses” from daddy: As an extra comfort measure, I would fill a jar with Hershey’s Kisses and place it on top of the counter.  Any time the kids got hurt or really sad, they would get a “kiss” from dad.

Skype before bed: If your husband’s involved with the kids’ bedtime routines, arrange for him to call around bedtime.  He can tell the kids a story (or, in our case, my son can tell HIM a story), sing them a song, etc.  If your husband is in a place where he can’t do this, have him record a few videos reading the kids’ favorite books.  Then, play the videos at night so daddy can read them a story before bed.

Does your husband travel a lot for work?  How do you handle this time in your house?

Related posts:

Trina’s post about being a (temporary) single mom

About three months ago, the negative effects of the recession hit our home when my husband got laid-off.  After the initial shock and fears of wondering how we were going to survive, we settled into a new reality.  I was terribly worried that my husband and I were going to drive each other crazy being around each other 24/7 with no breaks.  Surprisingly, this time has strengthened our relationship and our individual faiths. 

I thought I would share a few of the things we have done to stay sane:

Take turns sleeping in!  While I have taken my share (plus a few extra) of mornings sleeping in, I also try to let him get some days “off” from the early morning (and I mean VERY early) kid duties.

Get out of the house at least every other day!  Staying at home gets boring and boredom brings on depression and aggitation.  Getting out of the house frequently helps stave off some of the crankies.  We have made many trips to Target, Toys R Us, and other local stores just to browse to get everyone out of the house.

Play games together!   While it’s next to impossible to play actual board games with kids in the house, we have taken to playing online Scrabble and other games against each other.  The advantages of these online games are that you can take your time playing, come back to it and play when you want/can, and you don’t have to worry about game pieces being shoved into little noses!

Wives, don’t nag!  At first I didn’t realize that to my husband, my asking questions about his job search as often as I did was nagging.  It’s ok to inquire about phone calls or progress, just not on a daily basis.  And by all means, DO NOT look for a job for him unless he asks you to or has given you “permission”.  Many guys feel emasuclated when their wives do their “work” for them. 

Pray together!  We  pray together over potential jobs, our finances and our children.  Like Dawn has been saying in the past two Abiding Mondays posts, prayer calms anxiety.  When I get anxious, it helps me to pray with my husband.  I find comfort in knowing he is standing with me during the troubling times.

And lastly, just remember that it won’t last forever.  The right job will come along.  Your life will get back to the normal you have always known!

Have you or someone you know closely gone through this type of situation?  What did you do to stay sane?  What tips do you have for families in this transitional time?

Photo Courtesy of Moomettesgram

When I was in college, I started a job at a pediatric dental office.  I continued working there after I graduated, until we moved overseas. I did a lot of admin stuff as well as chair-side (assisting the hygienist or the doctor), and I loved how so many parents brought their kids to our office and asked great questions about dental health. Here are a few things I learned from the doctors during my years there:
1. Limit snacking – This is the main cause of tooth decay. During mealtime, our mouth produces enough saliva to keep our teeth relatively clean (we still need to brush though!), but snacking on sugary foods in between meals will “feed” the bacteria in your mouth, which produce the acid that can eat away at the tooth enamel and cause decay. It’s important to limit snacks to fresh fruits and vegetables, meat, and dairy (plain yogurt, eggs, and cheese are your best choices). Candies are of course on the “rarely/never eat” list, but many parents were surprised to find that even carbohydrates can be dangerous if consumed frequently, especially processed foods which contain refined flour and added sugars. Granola bars, crackers, and other “weak candies” should be kept to a minimum. Amelia had a great post on snacking last year — notice how almost all of her bread-related snacks contain whole wheat flour with little or no added sugar!  In addition, beverages such as juice, soda, iced tea, flavored milks and sports drinks can lead to dental caries.  My boss always recommended diluting juices with water when giving them to kids, and limiting the amount of juice per day.  Teenagers are particularly vulnerable in this category, because many of them have terrible snacking habits.  For them, sodas, convenience foods, and breath mints are the biggest culprits of tooth decay, so try to keep these items to a minimum in your house.

2. Cavities are NOT just the result of bad brushing or snacking habits – First and second permanent molars can be deeply pitted and grooved, and occasionally, during tooth formation, the tooth enamel will not fuse completely, creating small fissures that are incredibly difficult to keep clean.  Even with good brushing and snacking habits, these teeth can get decay.  Some dentists choose to fill these early on to prevent greater problems in the future.

3. Get sealants when your dentist recommends them – One of the things I saw time and time again was a child who had been a candidate for sealants at one visit come back six months or a year later with dental caries on those teeth, and they had to have those teeth filled instead.  Usually sealants are placed on the chewing surfaces of permanent molars and premolars (bicuspids), but occasionally doctors will suggest sealants on baby molars.  Sealants generally last three to five years (although sometimes longer), and they really save you money in the long run by avoiding fillings, root canals and crowns to repair decayed teeth.  Most insurance companies cover sealants, but a few don’t.  Some parents are reluctant to get sealants because their insurance company doesn’t cover it.  I would encourage them to get their child sealants anyway; talk to your dentist about a payment plan if money is a concern.  Most offices are pretty accommodating, especially if you are an established patient there.

4. Braces are bacteria magnets! – Many teens (and preteens) just don’t have good habits when it comes to oral hygiene.   And, as it is practically impossible to give advice to teenagers without getting the customary eye-roll, talk to your dentist about showing them how to keep their teeth healthy and clean while wearing braces.  Children with braces are more likely to develop tooth caries and/or experience early gum recession due to poor brushing and flossing habits.  Personally, I’ve noticed that young teen boys (around age thirteen or so) are the worst when it comes to keeping their braces clean, but I’ve witnessed this in a few girls as well.  As a former wearer of braces, I know how difficult it can be to keep those babies clean, but fortunately there are a wide range of products to aid us in this area.  My personal favorite is Waterpik’s Power Flosser.

5. Children with good brushing and snacking habits usually grow up to be teenagers and adults with good oral hygiene – The earlier your child learns the importance of brushing, flossing, and healthy snacking, the more likely they are to continue these habits into adulthood.

I feel like I could write a whole book on this subject, but I’ll stop for now.  I might continue this post with a second installment if anyone’s interested.  So, what about you?  What are some important lessons you’ve learned from the dentist about your child’s dental health?

For more information:

TMC article: Last June, McKenna wrote about surviving your child’s first dental visit.

Website:  Keeping Your Child’s Teeth Healthy at Kidshealth.org

Book: Eat This, Not That! Supermarket Survival Guide

Photo courtesy of .imelda

It never ceases to amaze me at the level of shock some of my friends seem to have on their faces when I am blatantly open and honest about some of the struggles I have with my kids.  I think we are so used to feeling like we are in constant competition with other moms, about who is the better mom and who has the perfect children, that we forget how much we need to be real with each other to stay sane and learn from each other.

All too often we are met with a struggle or even just something weird we aren’t sure how to handle and we seek out advice.  Sure many women feel comfortable asking thier own mothers, but truthfully, how many of our moms REALLY remember exactly how they handled potty training or talking back?  Half the time, I can’t remember how I handled things with my son that I am now dealing with in raising my daughter… and they are only 2.5 years apart!!! 

So, what’s a girl to do?  How do you find other moms you can be totally transparent with and how can you encourage those kinds of friendships?

Join a mom’s group – Whether you join a group like the type I mentioned last Wednesday or you are just involved in a play group, take advantage of the wisdom of other mom’s (especially if they have older children)! 

Listen to your friends – You can tell if a friend is struggling, so when you realize this… encourage them to talk about it.  This can be a mutually transparent relationship and both of you can grow from it. 

Find an online parenting community – Let’s face it, people are always more bold and honest online than in person — they feel more safe and are more willing to reveal personal things.  This can be a great outlet to get advice, but be warned, as with anything you do online, be careful with how much personal information you give and weigh the advice of strangers before taking it to heart!

Be transparent with YOURSELF! – Once other moms see that you are willing to take the risk and put yourself out there, so will they! 

Are you a transparent mom?  Are you too afraid of not living up to others standards that you are not transparent enough?  What have you done to find these kinds of relationships? 

Photo Courtesy of David Boyle