The Mom Crowd

Ever since 9/11, I’ve been reminded how life can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. Too many times we hear the “I should have done this” or “I wish I’d done that”, but we just never got around to it. Time is short; no doubt about it.

The Bucket List was an adorable movie in 2007, where two men diagnosed with terminal cancer, embark on a mission to cross off items on their “to-do” list. Although I’ve been blessed with great health thus far, I created one a few years ago and cannot express the extreme satisfaction of completing an item and visually crossing it off my list! What’s even more interesting, is the fact that my two, young children created their own lists of “to-do’s” with adorable hopes and dreams that I didn’t even realize were lingering in the backs of their minds.

My 10-year-old daughter mentioned foods she hoped to try, places she wished to visit, and of course a handful of Disney and Nickelodeon stars she desired to meet. This had me determined to once again be the #BME! (Twitter hash tag for BEST MOM EVER!). During our most recent cruise, she was able to try escargot (yes, snails) and learned that she actually liked them. Quite a bit even. She and I both haven’t been to New York before and it’s a commonality on our lists, so I’m in the midst of planning a family vacation there within the next 3 years. Finally, I was able to locate fan mail addresses for her top celebrities and send away for signed headshots. I even follow a calendar of events that shares Disney red carpet movie premieres and she’s since collected a handful of photographs and autographs from those stars close to her heart!

We aren’t promised tomorrow, so we should live each day with no regrets. Better yet, start doing the things you never dreamt you could. Stop procrastinating! Make a list individually or as a family, and get moving! It even makes for great scrapbook memories to write down, check off when they happen, and note with a date, time, souvenir, and photograph.

As women, it seems rather easy to exhibit moments of self-control, self-indulgence, self-motivation, or self-loathing. Yet, how often do we focus on achieving self-love?

If you were a young girl who grew up with an absent father, either physically or emotionally, chances are that helped shape your overall self-concept of yourself. Many teenage girls and young adults go through stages of promiscuity or falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, in search of the “father figure” they’re trying to replace. Sadly, most will never suppress those desires unless they mend the pain they experienced as young girls. So how exactly do they go about doing that?

Positive affirmations can truly begin to create change in how you view yourself. They are basic statements that you repeat over and over again, preferably while standing in front of the mirror. If you indeed suffer from low self-esteem, they won’t be easy. Some women get increasingly emotional and find it difficult to do. Perhaps that’s because for every negative thing that’s been said to us and taken in, requires three times as many positive ones just to balance out.

Below are a list of statements you can use in the beginning.

∙ I am healthy and happy.

∙ I have a lot of energy.

∙ I am surrounded by love.

∙ I am getting wealthier every day.

Just by saying what you want in life, you then begin to see and feel it, thus attracting it into your life. Words are powerful!

While positive affirmations are a great and healthy start, there are two books I’d highly recommend for further self-discovery. Both are by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D. The titles are Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families and its companion A Gift to Myself: A Personal Workbook and Guide to “Healing the Child Within”. Both are in paperback and available through Amazon.com.

The tools above helped me come a long way in my personal journey of self-love. Not being dependent on others for happiness, reassurance, approval, acceptance, and more, allows me to value what I have to offer in others. That only comes from valuing and loving me.

If you’re anything like me, getting the kids moving before school is exhausting. From the moment the alarm goes off, I feel like a drill sergeant telling them to stop talking, quit day dreaming, or hurry up and finish eating. It’s a true nightmare just to get them to school on-time and for me to face my morning commute to work.

Although not fool-proof, recently I’ve found some things that have helped our family come closer to an overall successful track record (with less yelling on my part ).

• Verify the next days weather and lay out clothes the night before. My pre-teen daughter is notorious for last minute wardrobe changes, so she prepares two outfits to choose from.
• For breakfast, I actually have the bowls and spoons out/ready to go, along with oatmeal packets or their preferred brand of cold cereal. That way, when they come downstairs, they can choose which they’d like, and I simply heat some water up or grab the refrigerated milk (along with their gummy vitamin).
• Backpacks are now neatly placed by the door to just grab on the way out to the car. They used to be scattered wherever homework was completed just yesterday.
• Another trick is to set their bedroom clocks for 5-10 minutes earlier than the actual time. This helps settle them into bed earlier the night before and those “extra” minutes can be spent perfecting their hairstyle of the day, swapping out matching accessories, or getting that tank of gas you were too tired to stop for after work the other day.

I hope some of these tips allow you to maximize your morning routine (if not be a lesson to your children on organization and structure). What are some of the things you do to get out the door faster in the morning?

It’s coming! It’s coming! The most romantic day of the year! You know? Valentine’s Day? The time of year when the greens and reds of Christmas are yanked off the shelf, thrown in a cart marked 75% off, only to welcome the pinks, whites, and more reds, celebrating all that is Cupid? Of course you do!

Now if you’re married, in a committed relationship, or just plain dating, the romantic notion of dining out in a fancy restaurant, receiving the well-written Hallmark card, box of chocolate or delicate roses is quite possibly the way to your heart. Never mind the fact that the wait times to eat are approximately 2 hours and the last minute card he picked up simply reads, “Love, Tom” inside. Or that the chocolate just destroyed your New Year’s Resolution diet and those flowers…..just..…die. Still, it’s the thought that counts. So what then is it going to be like for the single woman you say?

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My family of five and I are an average family. We make messes, break a glass here, loose a fork there, forget about homework until the morning its due, you know the normal things. I have no magic up my sleeves, though I check daily to see if I’ve missed it.  I have two boys under six, a husband in the military and my grandmother all under the same roof causing all sorts of chaos and havoc! This was all just fine until we added moving across the country into the mix. Upon the news to move we decided to put our house up for sale. Now, I know how to handle two kids on my own for months. I can change the oil in my car, mow the lawn, build a garage, juggle soccer, work out, and a whole lot more while my husband is deployed. But moving my family to the opposite side of the country…aahh, I don’t even know where to start and he’s home right now!

So I figure like anything else I might as well just jump in. My OCD allows me to keep my house clean on a daily basis, even if it’s a never ending battle, but now the OCD is in overdrive waiting for these showings to happen! Like I’m sure many of you are aware cleaning up after a two and five year old is no laughing matter. Then trying to keep the house spotless for the drop of a dime phone calls is a full time job in itself! When the two are combined we’re lucky if we can even remember our names by the end of the day! Here’s a few tips I’d like to share with you and remember I’m still going through this myself so bear with me!

• There’s no point in trying to make the house spotless until before the kids are awake or until after they’ve passed out
• Find all the local parks
• Keep snacks handy in your car..purse..bag in the pantry
• Plan on eating out on the weekends
• Find a book, crossword or pick up knitting because you’re going to be at those parks for a while
• Those Swiffer wet pads and dusters really are a time/life saver!

As you can see it’s mostly common sense things BUT when you’re trying to vacuum, chase a kid around attempting to get their socks on, sticking the dogs in the crate or car, finishing those dishes and quickly hiding all the miscellaneous things laying around, they tend to be forgotten! We all know moving is hard and we just can’t wait until we finally get it over with. Just remember that your house is as clean as its going to be because, well, you’re still living in it!! Chances are you’re going to be more stressed about the appearance of your house then the potential buyers are, they understand that you’re living there! Remember moms, your little ones are going through a lot too right now. Either they are simply too young to understand what is going on, or are just as nervous as you are about this new chapter in your life. Just breathe, laugh off the small things and make the most out of what little down time you have. Everything will fall, in one form or another, into place! Even for a super mom moving is mayhem!