The Mom Crowd

I thought I’d share with you something I’ve been trying at my house.  I don’t know about your kids, but MY kids do not enjoy “clean up time”.  I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve bugged them to tears and tantrums about cleaning up.  I don’t like cleaning up my stuff all the time (ask my husband) but leaving toys strewn all through the house is not really an option for me.  I hate stepping on toys and kicking them around while I am holding the toddler and can’t see where my feet are stepping.  And most of all I abhor cleaning up THEIR mess at the end of the day.  I am not their maid, I’m their mom. Part of my job as their mother is to teach them how to be responsible for their own things–not clean up after them day in and day out.  Let’s face it, with 3 kids home for most or all of the day, I have enough on my plate already with keeping food in the house, making sure laundry is clean and put away, paying bills, and actually making meals.  Not to mention all the other “household engineering duties” that fall on our plates as moms.   The last thing I want to all day long is pick up their toys.

I wrote a while ago about Love and Logic and how I have enjoyed trying out those parenting techniques with my kids.  I decided that some Love and Logic was needed so I could teach the kids responsibility for their things AND to keep my own sanity.  I knew that the more I nagged my kids about cleaning up, the MORE they got angry at me and me with them.  The cycle wasn’t working and it was time for change.

So using some of the strategies from Love and Logic I told them the following: “Okay boys, we need something different around here for cleaning up toys.  It isn’t Mommy’s job to clean up your toys all the time and I really don’t like arguing with you about it.  Do you like it when Mommy bugs you to clean up your messes?”  ”NO!”, they say. “Okay great!  I’m glad we agree about that.  Here is the new deal–you can get out whatever you want during the day.  How does that sound?”  ”Great!”, they respond.  ”Awesome!  This is important–so make sure you listen to this–you have until dinner is ready to clean up your toys.  Whatever is left on the floor when dinner is ready goes in trash bags.  So, if you want to clean up during the day as you go you can choose to do that OR if you want to wait until Mommy starts cooking dinner you can do that too.  You can choose not to clean up your toys at all if you want–but you won’t get them back very easily. I’m fine with whatever you want to do. How does that sound?”  Their response, “Okay.”  

I think they were so relieved to hear that I wouldn’t harass them about cleaning up and that there wouldn’t be any arguing about it that getting toys taken away didn’t really sink in.  Until the next day.  Over the next week I think I stockpiled about 3-4 trash bags plus another pile of toys that they never got around to cleaning up.  Were they happy about it?  No way!  Did they throw a fit about their toys getting taken?  You bet!  Did I give up?  No way!  The key was to keep my calm and to really be fine with when they wanted to pick up their toys.  I put the ball in their court and let the consequences do the talking.  I chose not to lecture them and remind them to clean up or what would happen if they didn’t.  I do tell them that I am about to start working on dinner–but I never give a reminder “so you might want to start cleaning up”.  When they did leave toys out and I had to get out the trash bags, I would tell them what a bummer it was to have to put their toys away.  At first they tried to get mad at ME and blame it on me.  ”Nice try”, I say.  ”You chose how to spend your time and this is the consequence for your choice.”   

At first, I thought that they wouldn’t have any toys left by the time we were ready to pack up and go to England but in the last 5 days I haven’t had to pick up any toys left out.  They do it on their own.  Sure, they usually wait until I start cooking dinner to clean up but I don’t care!  They get the job done.  Sometimes we are going to be gone from the house for the afternoon and if I made dinner in the crockpot they don’t have time to pick up.  Now that we have this system going and they know I mean business, we just suggest that they might want to clean up real quick before coming to dinner.  And would you believe it, there isn’t much of a hassle about it!  Or if someone is coming over and we need to tidy up before they get there, they are generally cheerful about picking up.

My boys are 4.5 and 5.5.  I wish I would have started this on them when they were 3!  Or maybe even 2.  Although, with a 2 year old it would need to be modified since a 2 year old doesn’t have any concept of time.  And they usually need more help.  But preschoolers can learn and learn quickly.  Have you ever seen kids at preschool clean up toys so fast during clean up time and then wonder why your kids don’t do that at home?  I’m already strategizing about how to work with the 19 month old and cleaning up his toys.

You might be wondering how they get their toys back.  Well, some have gone away forever.  Others are earned back by doing special jobs around the house.  I don’t tell them ahead of time that they can get a toy back if they do a job.  Usually I’ll just ask them if they can help out and if I get a yes I’ll tell them they can go pick out one toy from the trash bags.  In fact, just this afternoon, my 5 year old helped by taking clothes out of the dryer and he went and got his newest transformer out of time out.  He was thrilled.  

What strategies do I use?  

• I don’t demand they pick up their toys NOW!  I let them choose the time.  They have control over when they pick up.
• I speak calmly.
• I show empathy when they make bad choices and lose their toys that were left on the floor.  
• I don’t lecture them about it.  
• I let the consequences do the talking.  

I’m still learning about teaching my kids about responsibility through their choices and doing it in a loving way.  I figure that I’m not the only mom who feels like she might pull out her hair if she has to pick up toys day in and day out.  I hope that this helps someone out there!

What do you do to get your kids to clean up?  What works for you?  Would you try this at your house?  Why or why not?

*photo courtesy of Swedishcarina*

Happy Earth Day!

The purpose of Earth Day is to promote awareness about the environment and to inspire people to join in the cause to take care of our planet.  There are so many ways to be involved in taking care of our planet that sometimes it can be overwhelming.  It is important to remember that we can all do our part, start slowly, then keep building on the changes we DO make to help reverse some of the problems we have created by NOT taking care of our planet.

For this Earth Day, I want to highlight a book called Healthy Child Healthy World by Christopher Gavigan.  Healthy Child Healthy World is an organization founded by parents Nancy and James Chuda, who lost their daughter, Colette, to a rare form of cancer when she was 5 years old.  They felt like her cancer was triggered by environmental factors and started to research how toxic substances and environmental exposures have an impact on children.  With the help of some friends and family, they started the organization to help educate the public and be an advocate for children and their environmental health. Christopher Gavigan is the CEO and executive director of Healthy Child Healthy World and is comitted to helping families make their homes safer for children.

The chapters cover just about every aspect of making your home a safer, cleaner, greener place for you and your children–even beginning with pregnancy and what you can do to help prepare your home for the baby. First and foremost, the way you eat during your pregnancy has a big impact on you and the baby’s health.  Avoiding preservatives and additives like MSG and artificial food coloring are a good first place to start.  In my birth classes we have one whole class dedicated to nutrition during pregnancy.  Good nutrition is important for everyone–especially when you are growing a baby!

Avoiding chemicals, like phthalates, in (some) lotions and other cosmetics can also help protect the baby. The book offers itself as a guide as you think about everything from baby showers to products to put (or avoid) in the nursery. Gavigan offers specific recipes for replacing the harsh, store bought cleaners with safe, homemade cleaners.  Store bought cleaners have chemicals in them that can cause problems like poisoning, respitory difficulites, organ damage, and deteriorating the freshwater supply.

The book offers interesting information about the ingredients in our beauty supplies–it is enough to make you consider replacing some of the products you probably use on a daily basis.

The chapter on Child’s Play is helpful and a great place for new parents with young children.  We have all been awakened to the idea that perhaps not everyone has the best interests of our children at heart after all those recalls of toys with high levels of lead in them.  Choosing toys, clothes, and baby products is most helpful early on–and gets more difficult later on if you are trying to avoid large amounts of plastic toys (that is from my own experience).  We have a lot of toys in our house–many of them plastic. If I could start over I would have a lot LESS plastic, and more long-lasting toys.   The chapter even has some recipes in it for safe art supplies!

Pets, pesticides, and indoor air pollution is also covered in the book.  I was surprised at how easy and simple some of the ideas were for minimizing and eliminating pests in the household without resorting to the more toxic chemical solutions.  I’m telling you, this book covers everything!  The back of the book is filledwith TONS of resources of retailers and organizations to help you along in your journey to making your home safer and greener.

If you are interested in having a resource on hand, this is a good one to have.  As you read through it, remember: “No one can do everything. Everyone can do something.”

What “green” things do you already do at your house?  Have you read this book? Heard of it? What did you think?

Happy Easter!  This picture of my daughter Lucy was taken two years ago when she was just 1.  I remember that morning like it was yesterday; she had never seen a plastic egg before and had no idea what she was doing with it clutched in her little hand.  Now she’s a rambunctious little girl running around saying, “I want more Easter eggs!”  I know she is going to love the annual Easter egg hunt on Sunday morning – and the candy inside them even more so.

As with other holidays, sometimes I get a little overwhelmed with all there is to do.  Do my kids have good outfits for Sunday morning?  Are we going to make a special meal?  Did I get everything I need for their Easter baskets?  (Will I be able to find their Easter baskets?)  My hubby and I decided to take this year easy, since the kids are still pretty young and we’ve had a busy couple of months leading up to now.

Recently I heard about a simple bread that is easy to make with children that symbolizes the resurrection of Jesus.  After it bakes, it becomes hollow on the inside to represent the empty tomb.  This is a perfect opportunity to enjoy some family time, make a yummy treat, and remind the kids what Easter is all about!  Here are a couple of recipes should you decide to try it:

• Easy Resurrection Rolls from Recipe Goldmine
• Resurrection Rolls from All Recipes

Feel like playing it old school?  Here is a basic how-to on dying Easter eggs (which is also good for showing your kids), from Kaboose:

What kind of Easter traditions does your family have?  May you have a blessed and beautiful Easter weekend from all of us here at The Mom Crowd!

Kristi is the mom of three wonderful children and a personal trainer to strong, beautiful women and one reluctant husband.   

The preschool age is one of my favorite stages.  Children 3 ½   – 5 ½  are eager to learn, have a blast while learning, don’t think they know more than you (unlike my 7 year old), and say some of the funniest things while learning and playing.  Children this age love to be entertained and kept busy.  I searched for some simple ways to keep my 4 ½  year old entertained after my son was born.  I also used these ideas during my pregnancy when I was feeling like a beached whale and not like a mom with enough energy to chase my 4 year old around the park.

Water Fun 

Rain boots proved to be one of the best gifts my daughter received for her 5th birthday.  It wasn’t my idea - she actually requested them herself.  When we get rain, she can’t wait to put on her pink cat rain boots and go splash in the puddles.  If it doesn’t rain often in your area, another idea would be to make your own rain with a hose.

One of my daughter’s favorite activities is playing with toys in the bathroom sink.  This requires more supervision than I previously expected – I found that out the hard way after daddy had been watching the kids.  I came home to find Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, and the rest of the DP Barbie gang with Windex (“hairspray”) in their hair.

Art

I have never met a child who didn’t enjoy art projects.  The main issue I have is my daughter raiding the arts and crafts cabinet and leaving everything in a complete disaster. She comes up with some interesting creations, like pom-poms glued to craft foam with red glitter glue.  If the mess doesn’t irritate you, allowing your child to do their crafts from their own craft box can be a fun idea.

A great craft to do together is finger painting. It’s super messy, but if the weather is nice you can always take the paint outdoors.

If your child is old enough, buy a white board and dry erase markers.  My kids love to sit and doodle on their white board.  It can also be a helpful tool in teaching them numbers, letters, writing, and reading.

Technology

Computer games, music on an iPod or CD, TV shows and DVDs designed for pre-k ages are all fun in moderation.  I find that these are the most addicting forms of entertainment.  When my kids are grounded from their favorite TV shows or games, they get really cranky.  Growing up, all we had was “Sesame Street”.  Our kids are fortunate to have a wide variety of technology to help them learn.

Imagination

Has your child ever told you, “Not right now, Mom, I’m using my imagination”?  I thought it was hilarious the first time my son told me that.  Encourage your little one to use their imagination often.  Providing an array of dress up clothes is one of the easiest ways to spark their imagination and keep them busy.  You will both have a good laugh in the process!

Playing outside is a great outlet for children.  Sidewalk chalk, kid-sized garden tools, sandboxes, ride-on toys and balls comprise our outdoor collection.  I often hear jaguars, monkeys, and aliens playing in our back yard.
  
What are some of the things you do to keep your preschooler entertained?  What captivates their attention?

It seems like I’m always writing about books, an article I read here, a website I found there.  I guess that says something about how I like to spend some of my free time (escape from the kids time).  

Instead of writing about some enjoyable reading resource for us moms, I thought I would write about magazines for kids this week.  My mom loves to spoil the kids and she has ordered us some subscriptions to some fun magazines.  I thought I’d give a review on the ones we have received in case you were looking for some fun reading material for your own kids.  They also make great gifts for others if you are looking for something a little educational and fun that lasts all year long.  

1. Ladybug Magazine- We were given a bagful of some old magazines by our neighbor who had read and reread them to several of her 

children.  I had never heard of Ladybug before, but I gotta tell you that my 4 and 5 year old LOVE them.  We had a stack of about 20-30 magazines and we have read them so many times that they can look at the covers and know what is inside.  Ladybug is a great magazine for preschoolers and toddlers. Each magazine usually focuses on some kind of theme, like rain, and will incorporate rain into several of the stories.  The magazine is full of short stories, one or two longer stories, a song, some poems, and two cartoons that are simple-with easy to love characters.  When my mom came to visit she read several of the magazines to them and decided to order a subscription.  They squeal with delight when one comes in the mail.  

2. Zootles- Another good find.  Zootles is a magazine for 2-5 year olds.  It focuses on on animal and has several stories, pictures, and facts about the animal of the month. It also introduces a letter and a number in each issue.  A one year subscription provides 6 issues since it only comes out every other month.  The kids also enjoyed this one and learned a lot about animals.  

3. Zoobooks- Is made by the same company as Zootles but is geared for older kids. The stories and information in the magazines is more complex.  The kids also had this magazine for a while.  They really enjoyed it.

4. National Geographic Kids- This is a fun magazine too but it is definitely geared for kids 7 and up.  I actually enjoy reading this one more than my kids do–but I imagine that it is entertaining for kids in the right age group.  The magazine has fun articles about living green and how kids can contribute to caring for the earth.  It has funny jokes, wild and interesting facts, amazing but true stories about animals, movie reviews from a kid’s perspective, and lots of ads for video games (that part I don’t like so much).

5. Kids Discover- Is geared for 7-12 year olds. Another gift from my mom.  I think she was trying to give them something that was interesting and educational.  I have to say it was a flop–but they were just too young.  Again, I enjoyed reading it more than the kids. If the boys were a few years older, I think they would enjoy some of the magazines a lot.  We did sit down and read the last issue together because it was about chocolate.  And who doesn’t love chocolate?  We were all fascinated about the science of how chocolate is made and where it comes from.  This magazine would make a great addition to any homeschooling family!

6. Highlights Top Secret Adventures- This one showed up in our mailbox and we were all intrigued.  A new package comes in the mail every month and the kids squeal again when they see it.  Top Secret Adventures is a kit that includes a small puzzle of a country, a book about the country containing facts and information about the culture, people, regions, major cities, language, and food.  It also includes a puzzle book where you enter a journey as a top secret agent trying to figure out who the crook is, what they stole, and where it is hidden.  The puzzles teach kids how to think critically and logically.  I’m sure you can tell by the sound of it, that is is not geared toward the preschool ages but my kids love it.  We sit and do it together.  They of course, need help with all the reading but there are some puzzles they can do without our help and we have noticed in the last few months that they are able to understand and do more without so much help from us.  It is something I would enjoy doing by myself too!  

7. Highlights Hidden Pictures Playground- If you have kids who love stickers, like to draw, and maybe do seek and find pictures then this is a good magazine.  My kids aren’t into it very much though.  I’m not sure why but I think it is because they don’t love to color. I usually do bring the magazines with us on long car rides or plane trips to give them something to do for a while.  They don’t squeal with delight when it comes in the mail or piles up in their book corner but it does provide something different to do while we are traveling.  

8. God’s World News Early Edition- Is a gift from my in-laws.  I have found it to be interesting and enjoyable too.  The magazine covers a broad spectrum of stories happening around the world.  It touches on animals, history, science, culture all through the perspective that God cares about our world and what happens in it.  Young readers or preschoolers will like looking at the pictures and reading some of the simple stories in it.  There are sections marked for parents to read to children (who are too young to read themselves).  It also has a few puzzle games in it for a fun follow up activity.  

Wow, I didn’t realize that we had so many subscriptions in the past few years until writing them down.  Do you get any magazines for your kids?  Which ones?  Had any bombs?  Which ones?  Don’t be shy–share your opinion!