The Mom Crowd

About three months ago, the negative effects of the recession hit our home when my husband got laid-off.  After the initial shock and fears of wondering how we were going to survive, we settled into a new reality.  I was terribly worried that my husband and I were going to drive each other crazy being around each other 24/7 with no breaks.  Surprisingly, this time has strengthened our relationship and our individual faiths. 

I thought I would share a few of the things we have done to stay sane:

Take turns sleeping in!  While I have taken my share (plus a few extra) of mornings sleeping in, I also try to let him get some days “off” from the early morning (and I mean VERY early) kid duties.

Get out of the house at least every other day!  Staying at home gets boring and boredom brings on depression and aggitation.  Getting out of the house frequently helps stave off some of the crankies.  We have made many trips to Target, Toys R Us, and other local stores just to browse to get everyone out of the house.

Play games together!   While it’s next to impossible to play actual board games with kids in the house, we have taken to playing online Scrabble and other games against each other.  The advantages of these online games are that you can take your time playing, come back to it and play when you want/can, and you don’t have to worry about game pieces being shoved into little noses!

Wives, don’t nag!  At first I didn’t realize that to my husband, my asking questions about his job search as often as I did was nagging.  It’s ok to inquire about phone calls or progress, just not on a daily basis.  And by all means, DO NOT look for a job for him unless he asks you to or has given you “permission”.  Many guys feel emasuclated when their wives do their “work” for them. 

Pray together!  We  pray together over potential jobs, our finances and our children.  Like Dawn has been saying in the past two Abiding Mondays posts, prayer calms anxiety.  When I get anxious, it helps me to pray with my husband.  I find comfort in knowing he is standing with me during the troubling times.

And lastly, just remember that it won’t last forever.  The right job will come along.  Your life will get back to the normal you have always known!

Have you or someone you know closely gone through this type of situation?  What did you do to stay sane?  What tips do you have for families in this transitional time?

Photo Courtesy of Moomettesgram

Several of my friends have been discussing with me how they are tightening up their monthly budgets.  We have been doing the same in our house.  We live in a pretty small house for having three children and I am happily trying to spend less money so we can move into a little larger home hopefully soon after the first of the year!  One area of our family’s budget which we have a lot of control over is our grocery bill.  We include diapers, toiletries, and cleaning items in our grocery bill and have budgeted about $500 a month on grocery items.  While that is not very much money for a family of five, with one on Pediasure, it’s a very doable number for our family.  However, I am trying to get that number even lower!

For the last two months, I have come in at $430 and $450 on our grocery bill-saving $80 and $50 dollars those months, which I think is great!  Both of those months, we had some unexpected expenses come up, so it was nice to have the cash already saved to spend on those unexpected expenses.  Here are some ways I’m lowering my grocery bill:

• Buy more generic.

I’ve always been a generic shopper, but there are some brand name items I prefer over generic.  On those items (like tomatoes, for instance), I’m halfing Hunts with generic and am not noticing the difference in the taste of my spaghetti sauce!

• Cook less meat.

There are a lot of great meals that do not require expensive beef and chicken.  For example, instead of taco night, I’m making bean and cheese chalupas.  We also ate a lot of chicken and rice and I have been replacing those meals with rice, bean, and vegetable varieties.  We still eat meat, but we’re just eating less of it.

• Try not to throw anything out.

I will typically buy fruits and vegetables and let them go bad in my refrigerator.  I am trying not to let that happen as often.

• Plan meals and shopping trips.

This is probably the hardest step for me, but it really makes a difference.  My grocery shopping time is Sunday nights now and I try to get everything I need for the entire week that night.  I find that I spend too much money on things we don’t need during my quick trips for milk or bread.  By eliminating those quick trips, I’m spending a lot less money!  I also have found that I spend less money when I don’t have the kids with me.

• Compare prices.

Bagged beans are way cheaper than canned beans and while they require a little more work, the little savings here and there make significant dents in your grocery bill.  Our grocery store has the price per ounce on the price sticker.  That is a very convenient tool to use when shopping.  Since some brands will package their items in different quantities, you can use this part of the price sticker to know if you are really saving any money by buying a little more bulkier of an item or a different brand.

These are just a few things that have helped me in my quest to lower my grocery bill.

Are you a coupon shopper?  What are some tricks/tips you have to save money on groceries?  How much does your family budget or spend each month on groceries?

I went garage sale shopping last weekend and I am hooked. Friends have told me all about the great deals they found at garage sales, so I wanted to find some for myself. I made a list, got some cash and hopped in the car early Saturday morning. I had seen a sign for a neighborhood sale earlier that week. My husband and kiddos went too and we had a wonderful time. I have wondered why I haven’t been yard sale shopping all along. So if you don’t garage sale shop, here are 5 reasons why you should!

1. The great deals steals. I found clothes and books for a fraction of the cost at a Resale Shop or retail store clearance.  One of my best finds this weekend was buying $82 worth of classic children’s books for $5. The hardback, cardboard  version of “Goodnight Moon” retails at $16 and I got it for a buck. Also, clothes can be really cheap at garage sales. I bought two jackets for the fall for 50 cents a piece.

2. You can haggle. You can’t haggle at Target, Wal-Mart, or any other store. Be friendly and just ask, “Will you take x.xx for this?” I always have to build up my confidence to haggle. Once you do it a few times, it gets easier. The worst they can say is no. You can save some money just by asking a simple question. We bought an edger for $15 and the lady was asking $20. So I saved $5 in about 30 seconds.

3. You pay in cash. Once you bought an item it is paid for – it is yours! No monthly payments. No bills. You can stay on budget by bringing only the cash you need. It is also helpful to bring a bunch of change, because many sellers forget to have enough change.

4. Most sales happen Saturday mornings. Leave the kids at home with Dad or a friend and get some fresh air while shopping. Or bring the family along and make a morning of it. Give your child an envelope with a dollar or two and let them buy something. Teach them to haggle or how to spend wisely.

5. It is fun to bargain hunt. How many times have you been at someone’s house and heard a story about how they got a certain furniture item for a steal at a garage sale? Go get your own story!  It is really fun if you hit a gold mine when someone’s kid just grew out of the size clothes you need.

Here are 2 great articles about how to garage sale shop:

How to Garage Sale Shop Like a Pro at NotTheJetSet.net

Garage Sale Power Shopping at BeingFrugal.net

Do you like garage sale shopping? What is your best find at a garage sale?

The work of a Stay at Home Mom now equates to an annual income of $122,732. This is based on a survey of over 12,000 mothers on salary.com. They also based this number on how much it would cost to outsource 10 typical job functions of a mother: housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, facilities manager, van driver, psychologist, laundry machine operator, janitor and chief executive officer.

On mom.salary.com users can calculate for themselves how much a mom’s job is worth. And then, guess what? The user can print out a “pay check” and an Earning Statement and give it to their mom for Mother’s Day. For real? This is exactly what every mother wants for Mother’s Day -  a piece of paper that doesn’t really have any value.  (Of course, if this was a real check then I would be happy to receive it.)

The check is nice sentiment if the number on the check was 1 Zillion dollars or something else equally cute to show that your mom is worth more than current than current market trends.  There is no number that can be applied to the value of a mother’s love for her children.

* My check is only worth $115,757 because of where I live in Texas.

What do you think of Salary.com’s assessment of the value of a mother’s work?

Happy Earth Week!

Cloth diapering keeps disposable diapers out of landfills and it can save money, so I decided to cloth diaper my second child. Amelia has written about the benefits of cloth diapers before and I always wanted to try it. My problem with getting started cloth diapering was spending the time researching what to buy and spending the money on them. You can’t exactly just walk into a Babies R Us and buy everything you need.

Getting the Supplies

I spent a lot of time figuring out the different types of diapers and where to buy them. There are prefolds and covers, all-in-ones, fitteds with covers, pocket diapers, and so much more. I made my list and added up how much everything was going to cost and put it in our budget. However, every month something would come up and it got moved the bottom of the priority list. Then a lady at church heard I wanted to cloth diaper and very generously gave me a gift of prefolds, fitteds, Thirsties covers, Y-straps, and two wet bags. I also gave her forty bucks to “round out my stash.” She used diaperswappers.com to buy everything I needed. I am very thankful that I didn’t have to spend the time and energy to get everything while I was more focused on having my baby.

Using Cloth Diapers

After getting breastfeeding established with my son I decided to tackle cloth diapering and learn this new skill. We quickly learned that you need to be sure to tuck the all of the prefold diaper under the cover, so they won’t wick out on to his clothes. Also, it is helpful to be organized and set up a station. I bought two dollar store trash cans. One is for the cloth diapers and the other is for wipes and other trash. I only had a few blow outs of poo or sometimes the pee would seep through the cover onto his onesie. I am not very good at changing his diaper very often so I use 2 prefolds inside the cover.

Traveling with cloth diapers is fine as long I am sure to bring everything I need – extra diaper cover, extra prefolds, and my wet bag for dirty diapers. They take up more room in a diaper bag than disposables.

Washing and Cleaning

Once I figured out how to fold them and use them I had to learn how to wash them. It seems that every cloth diaper user has their own system. I went with the one that seemed the easiest. Amelia told me to run them through a cold wash first, then a second wash with hot water and soap. I use an regular detergent like All’s Free and Clear. Washing them is easy and it isn’t too dirty to touch the diapers, because they have newborn poo which isn’t that gross.

What is gross is leaving them too long before washing them. I got sick one weekend and went a few days without cleaning them. One fitted diaper grew fuzzy mold. After that weekend when I went to wash them I let the diapers soak in the washer over night in cold water. Then I ran them the next morning. When I took them out of the washer a few diapers had black mold spots. Either they grew from the soaking or from me waiting too long to wash them. I tried oxi-clean and even bleach, but the mold spots never came out.

Sometimes the diapers come out stained with yellow spots, so I sun them. All I do is hang them outside in the sun and the stains go away. (Those are my diapers in the photo.) I have no idea how this works, but it does! They come back to being perfectly white.

Is Cloth Diapering Working For Me?

I am currently cloth diapering about 50% of the time. I may not be 100% percent all the time cloth diapering, but I still feel like my 50% makes a difference on the environment. My husband changes my sons diapers during the night and in our sleep deprived state I didn’t want to make him change a cloth diaper. Also, I think I may not have enough cloth diapers, because I need to wash them every other day to keep up. I am not very good at washing them often. Also there are some days where I am super busy and overwhelmed so I don’t want to mess with them. We were given many disposable diapers as gifts as well, so I haven’t had to spend any money in diapers for my 7 week old son yet. I think when I have to spend my own money on diapers I will be more intent on cloth diapering more often.

How about you? Have you tried cloth diapering? What were your first few weeks like? Are you like me and always wanted to, but never wanted to spend the money to start?