The Mom Crowd

Of course we all believe that our kids are a blessing, but what message are we sending our children? If they are a gift to you, do they know it? When they just spilled milk all over the couch they may not feel like a blessing at that moment, but we do have times when we can express our love for them.

What are the words that you say to them? Even caring and loving parents may not send the right message if their words don’t back up their intentions. Telling your kids that they were an accident, even in a joking manner, may communicate the message that they weren’t wanted.

My parenting class asks, “Are they an interruption or a part of your dreams and goals?” A child may even feel their parent’s resentment, because a parent had to give up their dreams when they learned that they were pregnant. I really hope that my baby is a part of what we do. I had the option of staying home with her for two weeks or bring my baby and go with my husband and friends to the Philippines from Texas. My husband and I thought and prayed about it. We reminded ourselves of our goal to include our children in our trips. So she became a part of our dreams and goals and we all went on the trip.

Have you told them? Kids like to hear it straight. Saying the words “I am so glad I get to be your mom (or dad).” to them sends a message that they are significant and that they matter.

My daughter is only ten months old, but I believe she can already tell how much we love her. One way that I show my baby how much I love her is by jumping up and down and clapping when I go get her from her nap. I say, ”I am so glad to see you!” when I first walk in, even though she only napped for 45 minutes and I am certainly not done returning emails and switching loads. My baby would definitely get a different message if I growled at her when I walked in and unhappily changed her diaper.

Spending time with your children and telling them how much you love them will help them see themselves as a blessing to you.

How do you show your kids that they are a blessing to you?

When my oldest, Ewan, was a baby he would eat ANYTHING! Asparagus, kale, broccoli, peas, spinach, carrots, you name it. Well, he is 4 years old now and vegetables don’t have the same appeal they once had. What can I say, he’s acting his age. Surprisingly, the things he LOVED as a baby are not as fun to eat now. He actually prefers raw vegetables these days to cooked ones. Isaac, my 3 year old, eats a bigger variety of food than Ewan, including vegetables. I have been worried about whether or not Ewan gets enough veges in his diet. He would eat bread, pasta, and rice until he turned into a giant carbohydrate if we let him! I personally have a hard time getting the recommended amount of vegetables in my own diet. It is always easy to include vegetables at dinner time but I have a harder time for lunch.

It is because of this that I was interested in the book Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld. I had heard about it several months ago and put it in my mental catalogue of cookbooks to try. Then some friends were telling me about it and some of the recipes and I decided to bite the bullet and buy it. When my friend, Kim (who has 4 kids), shared that her kids were gobbling up the food she was cooking I got excited!

The way it works and the reason it is called “Deceptively Delicious” is because you add pureed vegetables to the recipes. It doesn’t affect the flavor in an obvious way but you get some of the extra veggies you need. The book has some great information in it on how the different vegetables are helpful to our bodies. She has a thorough list of foods to keep on hand in your pantry in order to make the recipes from the book. After reading over the list I noticed the things she recommends are items that I usually have on hand anyway. For example, whole wheat flour, whole wheat tortillas, parmesan cheese, brown rice, whole grain pastas, wheat germ, cottage cheese, chicken broth, canned beans. The list is much longer but that gives you an idea of what is required of the recipes. The only thing that I don’t normally keep on hand and needed to get was Flax Seed meal. Flax seeds provide omega-3 fatty acids to your diet which is a great alternative if you aren’t a fish eater. They are good for your bones and your heart.

(more…)

Last week, Darah had her tonsils removed and her third set of tubes placed in her ears. Darah has had 12 surgeries in her 3 1/2 years of life and Connor’s had a same day procedure already as well (tubes placed in his ears). The picture to the left is of Darah before her open heart surgery at three months old. I am aware that not everyone is as “experienced” as we are when it comes to surgery for their child and want to share what surgery days are like for those of you who may be approaching your first surgery with your child. Every procedure, hospital, doctor, nurse, and child are so different. It’s hard to write up a one-size-fits-all post on what you can expect, but some things are pretty standard regardless of what your child is having done, and the emotional impact is pretty strong no matter how major or minor your child’s surgery is going to be!

Pre-Op (Before the surgery)

Before some procedures, doctors will want to get bloodwork done on your child. Ask for numbing cream if it’s available. This is a cream that acts as a local anesthetic and will help decrease some of the pain of the actual needle stick.

Tour the hospital with your child. Knowing where everything is prior to surgery day can help to alleviate some of the anxiety of the day. Most hospitals (if not all) are very prepared to show families where everything is prior to the surgery. It can also help with your child’s nerves if they see the hospital before the day of the surgery.

Visit the hospital’s website. If your child’s surgery is being performed in a children’s hospital, a lot of times their websites have great resources, virtual tours, and coloring sheets for your child. Take advantage of their website!

Surgery Day: Before the surgery

You will probably be asked to arrive 2-3 hours before the actual procedure. This is to register your child in the computer system, talk to the surgeon, nurse, and anesthesiologist about last minute questions. They will also check your child’s basic vitals during this time. Be prepared, surgeries often start later than usual.

Leave earrings, all jewelry, and valuables at home. If your child’s ears were recently pierced, discuss this with your doctor prior to surgery day.

If your child is anxious or irritable before the procedure, ask the anesthesiologist for a “cocktail.” Some doctors will call is “silly juice.” Basically, it’s a light sedative that will very much calm your child.

If your child needs an i.v. for the surgery, ask if that can be done after your child is already asleep. Sometimes the doctors will put the child to sleep in the operating room using a mask and then start the i.v.

While you’re waiting in the holding room before the surgery, ask your nurse if they have a playroom or any toys or books your child can play with while you are waiting. We ALWAYS bring our portable DVD player with us for Darah to watch movies on during the wait.

Do not be afraid to ask your doctors and nurses any questions you have. I also usually tell the staff something personal about Darah or our family so they go into the operating room remembering that this is somebody’s most treasured possession, and not “just another surgery.” This last surgery, I told the anesthesiologist a quick story about Darah’s beaten up Lovey she had with her. After the surgery, the recovery nurse said she heard the story about poor loved Lovey. This made me feel more comfortable in trusting them with my daughter.

When it is time to say goodbye, remain positive and reassuring. Remember, no matter how young or old your child is, they are sure to have some anxiety about being in a new place with new people and it is important to help them to feel ok with everything that is happening.

(more…)