The Mom Crowd

SAHM is the internet savvy way of saying “Stay-at- Home-Mom.” Stay-at-home Moms choose for many reasons to stay home with their children. For some, the costs of childcare outweigh the income made if the mom worked outside the home. Other moms are miserable working their 9-5 job and are looking for a change of pace. Other moms choose to forego the workforce so they can spend that time with their children. No matter the reason, there are millions of women who are SAHM.

Ask any SAHM and you’ll receive a laundry list of job titles she holds. Childcare worker, teacher, taxi driver, facilities manager, short-order cook, laundry attendant, janitor, counselor, CEO, entertainer, personal stylist, administrative assistant, accounting clerk, nurse, plumber, automotive mechanic, and cake decorator are only a few of her job titles.

While there is no monetary compensation or typical work benefits like 401k’s or sick leave, there are a lot of satisfying rewards in being a SAHM. The obvious include being there with your children for every milestone, boo-boo, and story time. The not so obvious (and somewhat selfish) benefits include, having breaks for yourself when the kids are napping, all day pajama days, and a more flexible schedule (unless Connor is your child, requiring you to be home for his 9:00am and 1:00pm naps because he is too cool to sleep in the car. LOL!)

The hardest part of being a SAHM for me is that I have three bosses (my husband, Darah, and Connor) who do not always synchronize their job assignments for their lowly slave me. Even with the most supportive of husbands, sometimes he will expect things of me that are just not possible depending on the mood of the day. Some days are very laid back and I’m able to shorten my to-do list. Other days are so chatoic and I’m unable to accomplish anything! These days may include a sick child, a child who won’t nap but desperately needs one, or a child who takes off his poopy diaper and smears it all over his crib. The “more flexible” schedule comes at the cost of having to be on call of untimely events.

I found this article which outlines four things every SAHM needs to know. These four things include:

1. Be proud of what you do.
2. Keep in touch with friends.
3. Stay organized.
4. Get in touch with your creative side.

What are your days like? Do you find your job as a SAHM harder or easier than when you worked?

Darah and I attended a Music Together class when she was 18 months old. It was one of the most enjoyable things I’ve done with Darah. In Music Together, we sang a lot of fun songs, did a lot of dancing and silly movements, played with cool instruments, and just had a really good time! The teacher encouraged the parents to get very involved during the classes, and we all just fed off the teacher’s high energy and zany personality. For the past six weeks, I have had the wonderful opportunity of attending a Kindermusik class with Darah (now 3 1/2) and Connor (17 months old). At first, I was going to attend with Darah only, but due to the difficulty in arranging sitting for him during our class, I decided to sign him up as well. Kindermusik is very similar to Music Together, however the Kindermusik class seemed to explore the body and movements while singing or listening to music, while Music Together seemed to explore the actual music more. I think you get just as much out of both of the programs, just a little different.

The first week of Kindermusik was difficult because Connor didn’t want to attend to anything we were doing and I was split between both children. If I think hard about it though, none of the children were perfectly attending to the class, so I think I probably was more stressed out about it than necessary. Since that first week, the kids have grown so much in their music exploration. Darah really never had much of a problem attending to the group songs and activities like Connor did, but she still has learned how to follow the direction of the teacher, move fast-and-slow, start-and-stop her instrument or movement, transition between songs and activities. Connor, though has grown up so much during our class. The first session, he threw major temper tantrums when it was time to transition. When we would put up the maracas, he would cry and run away with his maracas. When the teacher started singing her “drums away” song, he would grip his drum even harder while crying. I left thinking he just wasn’t mature enough for a group activity like Kindermusik. By week two, he got a little better about it, and even though I would have to pry each instrument away from him when it was time to transition, the crying didn’t turn into all out temper tantrums. By week three, though, he would start putting his instrument up when the teacher started singing the transition song. There were still tears, but he was following direction. Last week, he actually seemed to look forward to the transition to see what was coming next. He eyed the hoola hoops the whole time and every time the transition song would start, he’d clean up and run over to the hoola hoops, hoping this was the transition that was going to lead to them. There were still some tears, but he was in no way uncontrollable, and I loved that he was following direction so well.

The last six weeks has been a very enjoyable time for me and my children. I am so glad that I didn’t find a babysitter for him during the music class and went ahead and signed him up as well. I’m sad that this session is finishing, but you better believe we’ll be signing up for another one!

I strongly recommend you find a Kindermusik or Music Together or Gymboree music class in your area to try. Most locations will let you try out a class for FREE!!

Have you been to a Mommy and Me Music class? What did you think? What other fun activities have you done with your baby or toddler?

Connor’s room has these huge sliding closet doors. They take up nearly a whole wall in his room. When I decided to paint his room, I didn’t know what to do about the doors. Did I paint them the same blue that the walls were painted? Did I paint them in a complimentary color to make them more fun? I just wasn’t happy with any of my ideas. I posted my dilemma on a forum and got the great idea of using chalkboard paint

I headed out to Lowe’s and bought a quart of chalkboard paint for $12.00 and went to work. The paint was very oily. I used a brush instead of a roller and painted three coats letting them dry in between. Erasing them requires a wet washcloth, which isn’t too big of a deal. Everyone loves Connor’s chalkboard closet doors. I do have parents ask if this has encouraged my kids to write on walls, and it hasn’t. Both of them know to only write on the closet doors. Writing on regular walls with chalk wouldn’t be as rewarding, anyway! Besides, I’d much rather clean chalk off of my walls than marker or crayon.

What fun decorating ideas do you have for kids rooms?

My husband and I recently had an unfortunate incident at Darah’s preschool. It’s a long story (and not the reason I’m writing this), but basically we decided we weren’t comfortable with having her go back to the same school. When we pulled Darah out of school, my husband and I started really pondering what was best for Darah and her educational needs. An unfortunate experience gave us a great opportunity to reevaluate the decisions we were making and make sure we weren’t just going with the flow, but that we were truly doing the best thing for our daughter. First of all, it must be reminded that Darah is not even four years old yet. We’re not talking about making a decision on what college or high school she attends, we’re talking about preschool. Through a ton of research and even more prayer, we decided that teaching her at home was the best thing for her. Everybody gets that cringe when they hear the word “homeschool.” This decision goes completely against what’s being preached in the special needs circles, because it is the opposite of inclusion. Darah is trying out another preschool two mornings a week for three hours each morning, but I am just waiting to see how it goes before I commit to that for next year. She will not be attending full time next year, unless I do a complete flip-flop.

I am not saying that this decision is the best decision for every other child. I am saying that this decision has been the best thing for Darah for right now. It is a hard decision because even though I feel like I’m doing the right thing, everyone has an opinion or a story about how homeschooling ruins children and even though I am confident that I know Darah and her needs better than anyone else, I don’t like feeling judged by other people.

During my quest to find the perfect decision for Darah’s education, I became quite intimate with google. I’m a concrete person, so I was looking for concrete answers. Unfortunately, it took some serious digging to find the amazing resources that are out there! I wanted to find an all-encompassing curriculum that told me exactly what to do on each day. The more I started digging, the more I learned that I was actually already doing a lot of the things I needed to be doing with Darah. I am already doing the See-and-Learn reading program that I raved to all of you about in this article. I also was already working on numbers, shapes, and colors with Darah. I was also already “teaching” her in our normal, everyday activities. When her toe comes out of her sandal, I teach her that her toe is “OUT” and needs to go back “IN!” When we outside, I show her the difference between her “LITTLE” toy car and the “BIG” car that drives by. When I give her a bath, we name all of her body parts and count her way-too-cute toes. These are all foundational concepts that are usually taught to preschoolers. I know that Darah is learning by living and I do not take that type of learning for granted because it is the main way all kids learn-through experiences. However, I am the type of person who needs a little more direction. I am goal driven and a list maker and need to know that these are priority numbers one, two and three. I want to feel like I know what I’m doing even if we’re very laid back in our approach to learning. I found some amazing resources that I would like to share with you if you are considering to teach your child at home. My philosophy is every parent is “homeschooling” their child in some fashion. Even if they are sending their child to traditional school, they are still working on homework after school, answering the million and one “why” questions, and teaching their children through everyday experiences. (more…)

This is a guest post from my friend Myra at Moon and Back Studios. Myra is a talented designer and the mom of a very picky eater (see photo).

I’ve been cursed. Not in the pin in the voodoo doll sort of way. I’m talking about the kinds of curses parents put on their kids. You see, I was once a picky eater. I remember pushing my mom to the limits at meal time. And I vividly recall worrying about going to a friend’s house for dinner for fear they would serve something with fresh tomatoes (yuck), avocadoes (double yuck) or liver (the very worst yuck of all). Of course, there were many other foods that made The List, but even I couldn’t hold a candle to the Little Man (LM). And I had no idea what was in store for me.

But first my disclaimer: I write this in the spirit of McKenna’s recent article. I truly am not competitive about LM’s picky eating. I’m not proud of it. In fact, it might be one of the most frustrating experiences of my life, and certainly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Now here’s the part that might sound unbelievable but I promise it’s true. I am convinced that the picky problem started with LM at birth. It seemed as though I had the only child in the world who wouldn’t latch on. I went to the breastfeeding classes (alone) and knew all about its merits. So naturally, when LM refused breastfeeding, like any first time mother, I worried he might have severe nutritional deficits. Maybe even graduate at the bottom of his class. Or worse. So I pumped. Then, at just two weeks LM wound up in the hospital for a two week stay. But that’s a whole other story.

During the time in the hospital, I still diligently pumped. But LM hated breast milk, even with me on a bland diet. So we tried formula. Then colic ensued. So our pediatrician suggested Nutramagin. Worse colic. So the doctor prescribed another brand that was something like $30 for a 3 day supply. You’d think at that price the brand would be burned in my brain. It made the colic only slightly better.

We were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist who told us if he had a nickel for every baby he saw with colic, he’d be a rich man. He patted us on the back, suggested we get some sleep (no – really?), and sent us home. Thanks for that. And my PPO thanks you too.

Fast forward to the LM at 2. At this age, he was too old for the four kinds of baby food he was willing to eat, so we tried to introduce “real” food. While trying to convince him that Cheerios are super fun “kid food”, he would gag violently when a single one was placed in his mouth. Finally, he was willing to eat PBJ sandwiches, but only when cut into bite-sized pieces that could be stabbed with a baby fork. Eventually, with some persuading from his aunt, he tried Goldfish crackers. Ahh, making progress. Then he added applesauce and yogurt. And of course, anything from the dessert food group was fair game. But there it stopped. For THREE years.

When I asked my pediatrician for advice, she lectured me about not giving in. She implied that I was being controlled by my child. But my husband and I are pretty strict parents. We haven’t raised a little dictator who rules our home.

The pediatrician suggested that we put food in front of the LM and when he got hungry enough, he’d eat. “Don’t be a short order cook,” she warned. So we tried. And in the spirit of the game, the LM raised the ante to an all out, 2 ½ day hunger strike. He was miserable, but not as miserable as we were. I felt like the worst mom on the planet. So on the third day, I made the PBJ and handed him the baby fork.

Now LM is five years old. Every single bite of every meal must be negotiated. We make deals about “healthy food” so he can have “snack food.” Until just recently, going to a restaurant required packing a meal that fit nicely in my purse. And really, that was quite easy. PBJ, Goldfish crackers and applesauce don’t take much room in a nice sized bucket bag. Restaurant dining with family also included (and still does) knowing stares from relatives who think we’re pushovers and should do a better job standing our ground. But what’s the point of shoving food into the LM’s mouth while he gags to the point of throwing up? Believe me, there were moments of desperation where I tried that. It didn’t work.

We had a mini breakthrough on the way to my birthday dinner in January. LM announced from the backseat, “you know, I might try something healthy tonight.” Just like that. We ordered grilled chicken and green beans, and he actually ate some. That was his first taste of meat since the ground up mystery meat in the baby food.

Since the breakthrough on my birthday, we’ve added chicken nugget Happy Meals to the menu selection. He tried the hamburger version first, and promptly informed me that “the brown stuff in the middle is gross mom.” But I don’t eat it either, so I can live with that.
When we’re invited to a birthday party, I try not to stare wistfully at the kids hungrily shoving pizza in their mouths. We wouldn’t have any of that. Instead, LM waits patiently while they eat, content with the knowledge that cake is on the way.

So, back to McKenna’s post and the spirit this is written. Please outdo me! I want to be one-upped. I want to know there are moms out there with experiences like mine – maybe even worse. And maybe someone will have some brilliant advice. All I want is to be an underachiever.

For the record, I could very easily lapse into ordering at a restaurant in a very When Harry Met Sally kind of way. But I do my best to refrain from requests for “on the side” because I don’t want to be one of them. But I still will not touch a raw tomato.