The Mom Crowd

Last week, my son was stung by a wasp on his hand.  He didn’t cry and he didn’t have a reaction until about two days later.  His entire hand was swollen and red.  I called my pediatrician and the nurse told me to just keep an eye on it and to bring him in if it became hot to the touch.  It cleared up after about two days of redness and swelling.  The day after it cleared up, he was stung by another wasp!  (We found the nest and my husband has reclaimed our backyard from those horrible creatures!)  Again, we didn’t notice any reaction at all and he didn’t cry or act like it hurt.  Two days later, his entire arm was swollen and this time, incredibly hot to the touch.  There was a huge red spot covering his entire bicep.  While the reaction was similar to the first sting, it was a lot more intense.  So, I called the doctor and he wanted me to bring him in.  I shamefully told him that my son had been stung by wasps twice in the same week and reassured him we found the nest.  The doctor thinks it is at high risk of becoming infected, so we were given instructions to prevent infection, which could turn to a staph infection.  I didn’t know that wasp and bee stings could lead to infection.  It makes sense when I think about it, but I thought allergic reactions such as breathing difficulty were the only real risk of wasp or bee stings.

So, until my son’s boo boo heals, we are to do the following:

• Use ice to relieve pain or discomfort
• Apply hydrocortisone cream to it twice a day
• Take over-the-counter Zyrtec instead of Benedryl because our doctor thinks it works better and my son becomes hyper and wirey on Benedryl, which is opposite most children.
• Clean it twice a day with a clorox/water solution.  I have never in my life heard a medical professional direct someone to use clorox bleach, so this was interesting to me.
• Fill a prescription for a steroid cream and have it on hand in case the red spot becomes streaky or asymmetrical and call or take him to the hospital right away.

I initially felt silly even being concerned about my son’s wasp sting, especially since I had already called the pediatrician last week about the same issue.  I tend to write off what I consider small medical issues because I have three children who all carry their own set of more major medical issues as it is.  But I am glad I listened to my gut that this reaction was worse than last week’s reaction.  I have learned in parenting and medical care for my children is that medical professionals are paid by me (and my insurance) to answer my medical questions and treat my children, so I have given up on feeling guilty about using the service that I am paying for.  Besides, what a parent may think is minor, may actually end up being serious, so it’s always better safe than sorry!

Have your children had a reaction to bee or wasp stings?  Am I the only one whose never heard of cleaning an infected area with a clorox/water solution?

My son’s second birthday is coming up next week and I just realized that it’s been a year since he’s had his picture formally taken.  Not only that, but his big sister (now over 3 years old) hasn’t had hers done since her first birthday.  I realize that I am probably in the minority here; my nephews, for example, have their pictures taken 3 or 4 times a year.  Here are my reasons for not getting professional pictures done more frequently:

• we’re cheap we don’t have a budget for it
• I take a zillion pictures of my children throughout the year; their lives are well-documented
• I’m lazy
• it’s a high-stress situation for me, and I tend to avoid high-stress situations whenever possible
• our family has not made a habit of it – my husband and I have never even had professional shots done!  (A friend did our wedding pictures.)

It’s gotten to the point that I just don’t even think about it – until we receive a wallet-size from a family member or friend in the mail.  Then I’m like, “Oh shoot!  I should really do that.  Maybe this Christmas…”  And Christmas comes & goes.  Or, I keep thinking our church will do another pictorial directory and we’ll just get it done then.

How often do you get your kids’ pictures taken?  Is it a high-stress situation for you?  What has made your picture-taking experiences less stressful?

Being a mom can at times be very overwhelming, especially when you are dealing with potential health issues with your child. Typical things like runny noses and fevers are stressful enough, but when something happens that seems completely out of the ordinary, you have to learn to trust your instincts.

When our son first started showing signs of diabetes, I called the pediatrician. The on-call doctor told me to stop giving him juice and his frequent thirst and urination should subside. After trying that for a few days and not seeing any changes, I insisted he be seen and tested for diabetes. Sure enough, my poor baby had a sky high blood sugar and was gravely ill from going too long without being diagnosed. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had just gone along thinking that the changes he was going through were just due to drinking too much juice!

More recently, he had a few drops of blood in his urine. Of course this was cause for concern and we rushed him to the pediatrician. It turned out that he was ok and that all of his lab work came back okay. I was a little embarrassed to have taken him in and him have nothing wrong, but the pediatrician reassured me and told me that they would rather see a million healthy kids with parents who are alert and taking charge of their children’s health than one kid who was sick.

Here are a few things to remember when you are trying to decide if it’s worth calling the pediatrician over:

• If your child is experiencing something out of the ordinary and you feel uncomfortable with what is happening, call and at least talk to the doctor or nurse.

• You know your child better than anyone else and you know what is and isn’t normal for them. Don’t let someone tell you that what is abnormal for your child is okay if you don’t think it is.

• A high fever usually requires a doctor’s visit, especially in a baby or toddler.

• When in doubt, call!

All of this is just to remind you that God gave you certain instincts and it’s best to follow them, even if it turns out that nothing is wrong. The worst thing you have to deal with, if that is the case, is a trip to the doctor and a few minutes of embarrassment. Better to have a red face than a sick child!

For a short informational video on when to call the pediatrician, visit the following link…

WebMD – When to Call the Pediatrician

Have you had times when you felt torn about calling the pediatrician?  What advice can you give other mom’s when it comes to trusting your instincts?  Have you ever followed your instincts and been thankful that you did because you caught something that could have been very serious?

Photo Courtesy of Exployment Now

Recently, my daughter had her very first teeth cleaning.  She has visited with the dentist a couple times, but they had not actually cleaned her teeth before this past week.  She did a-maz-ing!  She laid on the exam chair like such a big girl and laughed when the dentist counted all twenty of her teeth.  She also allowed the hygienist to scrape the plaque off her teeth, clean them, and apply varnish.  I was incredibly proud of her.  She excitedly picked out a slinky from the prize box at the end of our visit and we drove on home to tell Daddy what a big girl she was.  There are a few things that contributed to our very successful trip to the dentist.

Choose the right dentist and make practice visits

• Ask fellow moms for dentist recommendations.  Call and ask if you can visit the dentist office (without having an exam).  See what kind of feel you get when you visit their office and talk with their staff.  If you do not get the warm fuzzies, find another dentist.  There is absolutely no reason why you should not feel happy and comfortable when you walk into a pediatric dentist office.  It’s also a good idea to stop by the office to say “hi” a couple times before the actual exam so your child is familiar with the staff and knows where the cool toys are stored. Our dentist actually plays his guitar for kids before their exam! 

Lay down to brush teeth

• Our dentist taught us early on to brush our children’s teeth while they laid on the ground.  I thought he was nuts until I heard his rationale.  It’s actually quite brilliant.  One of the scariest parts of dental visits for small children is laying down while someone bends over you with a toothbrush.  You can take away this awkwardness by always laying them down to brush their teeth at home.  Also, you get a MUCH better look at their teeth and do a better job at brushing in this position. 

Find a sitter for siblings

• I have found a wonderful college age girl who babysits for me during the day so I can take my children to their many appointments and leave the others at home.  I think the one-on-one time I had with my daughter at her dentist appointment really helped to keep her calm and comfortable.  I was not distracted by her brother pulling down the dental tray or pushing the buttons on the dental chair.  I was calmer, so she was calmer. 

Bring Lovey

• Need I say more?  Lovey does not leave my daughter’s bedroom because I am terrified of losing her.  However, Lovey made an extra special trip to have her teeth cleaned with my daughter. 

Talk positively about the dentist trip

• Before our appointment, I told my daughter that she was a big girl, so she was going to meet a very special person who was going to brush her teeth.  I told her that the dental hygienist was going to tickle her teeth with a special toothbrush and make sure they were extra white and extra clean.  I told her that it was going to be a special time with just Mommy and her and she would receive a special treat and a new toothbrush.  I reminded her of her Barney episode about visiting the dentist and we sang some of those songs.  I called a girlfriend and told her that my big girl was going to have a fun trip to the dentist that day and built up the appointment to my friend while my daughter was in earshot.  By the time we arrived to our appointment, she was excited!

Have you taken your child for his or her first dental visit?  How did they do?  What helped make your trip successful?  What contributed to a not-so-great dental visit?

Last week, I wrote a post in response to a reader’s concern about her shy daughter’s difficulty in making friends.  In my preparation, I was amazed by how much I still have to learn about various personality types and how we can almost “typecast” our kids with certain traits.  I think there is a danger in putting our children in some kind of personality box and expecting them to remain that way for most of their lives.  I doubt we want to label our kids.  But I can see myself veering into that territory already.  “Lucy is such a smart, stubborn little girl.”  “Eli likes to be by himself in larger groups.”  If I’m not careful, I will start believing my kids will always be this way, and then I might react unpleasantly if they don’t.  And this would make them feel badly about themselves.

Has anyone ever labeled you?  Are you considered melodramatic, intellectual, athletic, artistic, left-brained, right-brained, nosy, outspoken, introverted, a people-person, etc?  How do those labels make you feel?  Have you ever tried to make changes in yourself only to find that people can’t handle a different behavior coming from you?  (Side note: Do you like those personality quizzes – like Myers-Briggs - that explain all of your behaviors away in a startlingly accurate paragraph?  My husband hates them.  He chafes at being put in a box.  I’ve always said he has a personality that defies most standard definitions.  )   But I digress.

I came across several helpful websites when researching last week about shyness.  I will list those at the end of the post if you are interested in learning more.  But the thing that stood out to me the most in my reading was from Dr. Renee Gilbert’s site, Shake Your Shyness.  In it, she categorized shyness not as a personality trait but a feeling that can come and go, depending on the circumstances.  Dr. Gilbert states:

“You see, shyness viewed as a “feeling” is difficult, but manageable, whereas shyness viewed as an “enduring personality trait” can be overwhelming.  Had I, as a shy child, believed that I had a shy “personality,” I might easily have gotten discouraged and given up.  But because I viewed my shyness as a feeling, as something I could do something about, I always felt there was hope.  I knew that if I could just figure out what to do to fit in and muster the courage to do it, everything would be OK–and it was.”

This spoke to me on many levels.  I was struck by the freedom that comes from thinking a child’s personality characteristics might actually be circumstantial, not permanent.  How many times have you been in situations where you felt shy, even though you can be equally talkative and confident in others?  It depends on the situation – who we’re with, what’s expected of us, and how the environment makes us feel.  The same can be true of our children.

It struck me that it is not good to label our children with an “enduring personality trait” – instead, we must celebrate their strengths on a routine basis and help build their confidence in as many things as we possibly can.

Here are some interesting sites I discovered regarding shyness:

• Shake Your Shyness (my favorite)
• Helping Young Children Overcome Shyness from the University of New England
• Center for Effective Parenting’s page on shyness
• The Shy Child by Hyson & Trieste

What do you think, moms?  Is it easy to put our kids’ personalities in a box?  Do you have any strategies for raising well-rounded children, capable of many different skills and exhibiting many unique moods?

photo courtesy of allspice1