The Mom Crowd

Since the addition of our third child, the amount of one-on-one time with my children has decreased quite a bit.  Over the summer I have tried very hard to find time to spend with each child one-on-one.  I’ve been amazed at how short spurts of one-on-one time with my children have really deepened my relationships with them.  My children are so little, but the simplest forms of quality time have really meant a lot to them and to me.   This summer, I have taken advantage of having a very wonderful, reliable babysitter.  My children have a TON of doctor’s visits and I have strived to have a sitter watch my other two children during one of my children’s appointments so I could focus on them during that time (and so my other children didn’t have to hang out at a boring doctor’s office).  I’ve taken my child out for lunch or ice cream or a playground trip after the appointment so we could do something fun together.  This has been a great opportunity for me to spend some quality one-on-one time with my children.  I’ve also let the baby stay up a little later then her big brother and sister since she tends to be the least demanding of my three during the day.  My oldest child rarely naps, so before she has a rest time, her and I spend some one-on-one time together after I lay down the younger two kids for their naps.  It requires a little creativity and discipline to find time to spend one-on-one with each of my children, but we are all the better for it when I make the time for them. 

Here are some ways (simple and elaborate) you can spend one-on-one time with your child

• Go on an overnight camping trip with your child (or rent a hotel room for just the two of you)
• Take your child with you on your run in the jogging stroller
• Have a movie date
• Feed ducks at the lake
• Surprise your child by showing up at their school to eat lunch with them
• Sign up to help with your child’s next school field trip
• Let your child stay up later than his/her siblings to spend some special time with Mommy and/or Daddy
• Let your early bird climb into your bed when they wake up and have some snuggle time with him or her
• When your son or daughter asks if they can go with you when you leave to run errands, say “YES!!!”
• If your child has a doctor appointment, hire a sitter for the other children so you can use the time in the waiting room one-on-one with your child.  And head out for ice cream afterward! 

How have you found ways to spend one-on-one time with your child? 

Earlier this week, Christy shared ideas for helping our little ones and their constipation.  I thought I’d follow that up with my child’s polar-opposite issue: plentiful poop and the yearning to play with it!

My son is two, and the discovery of his feces is nothing out of the ordinary for a child his age.  About 3 months ago, it happened for the first time: I’d go into his room to get him up from his afternoon nap only to find him sitting there, somewhat happily, in the middle of a poop-smeared crib.  Poop everywhere: on the sheets, the pillows, the stuffed animals, the railings, his hands, feet, legs, and fingernails.  Mm, mmm, and it smelled good, too.

My daughter had gone through this fecal-phase briefly as well; hers lasted for two or three days.  I expected my son’s fascination to pass just as quickly (no pun intended).  However, it soon became a routine for him.  There was one week wherein I had to disinfect every inch of his room three consecutive days.  Don’t forget the baths and scrubbing of the tub each time as well.

Our solution then was to put pajama pants on our boy every time he goes to bed, even when it’s hot.  (The a/c has to be turned down a little more every afternoon at naptime as a result.)  We still do this on a daily basis.  The pants deter him from digging.  Occasionally, I forget to put the pants on, or I think he might not need them anymore.   And those are the same occasions when I realize PANTS ARE NECESSARY.  FOR THE LOVE OF LYSOL, PUT THE BOY’S PANTS ON!!  Will I never learn? 

What To Expect the Toddler Years was my first stop for information.  Many of their suggestions were things we’d already instituted, including

• fastening diapers securely so access to the goods is limited or impossible
• recognizing patterns in bowel movements in order to predict and circumvent future occurrences
• providing the child with healthy and better-smelling tactile play activities (like dough, finger paint, sand, etc.)

Out of curiosity, I Googled this topic, and started with the words “kids who play…”  All kinds of responses were listed in the drop-down window, and I was amused to find that “kids who play with poop” is just sixth on the list.  The search led me to Babycenter.com’s Q & A on toddler poop-playing, and the solution with the highest success rate is to give the toddler a brief cold shower after the poop-cident.  Although it seems a bit extreme, I can see how a desperate parent would want to find an effective consequence for a child who is passionate about playing with his or her BM’s.

What do you think, Mom Crowd?  Have you faced this issue?  What worked for you and your child?  And do any of you have coupons for Febreeze?  I sure go through a lot of it!

photo courtesy mrsmecomber

Everyone has dealt with it and every one of us will deal with our children being constipated at some point in their young lives.  We all know how miserable it is to not be able to go and when our children are hurting, we can feel helpless.  As I type this, my 4 year old is miserably walking around squatting, grunting, and looking simply pathetic.  (We have struggled with potty training, especially with going poo-poo in the potty, but when he’s constipated, all bets are off and the potty isn’t an option.)

WebMD suggests that if your child has less than 3 bowel movements a week and they are hard and difficult to pass, your child may be suffering from constipation.  Some kids are more prone to dealing with bouts of constipation and those of us parents with these “lucky” kids have learned a few tricks of the trade that often help.  Here are some tips to helping keep your child from getting to the point they just can’t go. 

FIBER!  Try to incorporate lots of fresh fruits and veggies into their diet.  If they are picky eaters, try raisins  or fruit juice.  Also, try to decrease the amount of refined sugars they digest.  Refined sugars have a tendency to constipate.

WATER.  WATER.  WATER!   Keep them hydrated.  Fluids will help soften and keep things moving.  If you can, try warm liquids. 

BATH TIME!  A warm sitz bath can sometimes help relax the tummy and help things along. 

SYMPATHIZE!  Encouarge your child to keep trying to go to the potty and don’t make them embarassed if they have an accident.  Remember, they are still learning control of all of their bodily functions and sometimes pain overtakes reason! 

If your child is experiencing constipation often, it may be wise to consult your pediatrician.  Constipation can sometimes be a sign of other health conditions that need to be checked out… and sometimes it can be caused from just eating too much cheese!!!

Does your child deal with frequent constipation?  What tips do you have for parents experiencing this for the first time? 

Photo Courtesy of Cynergist

Health insurance is a hot topic in the US right now.  While congress debates the topic, I thought I’d share an option some families have that many are unaware of to insure their children.  Most people are aware of Medicaid, a government run health care option for low income families.  Many people do not qualify for Medicaid due to the income and financial guidelines.  However, every state in the US has ”Medicaid Waivers” that allows certain individuals who do not qualify based on financial criteria to participate in Medicaid through these waiver programs.  Typically, for a child to qualify for Medicaid, the government will evaluate the family’s income and assets to determine eligibility.  Medicaid waivers evaluate the individual’s income and assets to determine eligibility and does not consider the parents’ income and assets.  In other words, my daughter qualifies for Medicaid through a waiver based on HER income and assets and our total family income and assets are not factored into her eligibility determination.  The waiver is offered to different populations of people.  Some state Medicaid waivers are offered to individuals based on their intelligience quotient.  Some state Medicaid waivers are offered to individuals based on their medical issues and health.

Every state is very different in how they run their Medicaid waiver programs and every state offers different benefits outside of Medicaid to their waiver participants.  So, to keep my dear readers from becoming too confused, I am going to share with you how one Texas Medicaid waiver works.  Keep in mind, in the state of Texas, there are actually many different waiver programs that all are slightly different from one another, however a basic understanding of one of these waivers will give you a general idea of how Medicaid waivers work.

My daughter is on the Medically-Dependent-Children’s-Program Medicaid Waiver (AKA: MDCP).  When she was a few months old, I put her on an interest list, which is basically a waiting list to be evaluated for eligibility for MDCP.  It was very easy to add her to the interest list and I called religiously every month to see where she was on the list.  A month before her third birthday, I received a phone call from MDCP stating my daughter had come up on the interest list.  We set up an evaluation in my home and she qualified for the MDCP Medicaid waiver due to her health issues and medications.  We chose to keep our primary health insurance for her and she started receiving Medicaid as a supplemental health insurance, so we no longer had to pay for her deductibles, co-pays, prescriptions, cost-shares, or any other health related expense.  Her MDCP Medicaid waiver also brought along several other benefits, including:

• MDCP pays a portion of our primary health insurance premium.  It is cheaper for Medicaid to be a supplemental health insurance, so as an incentive for us to keep her on our family’s primary health insurance, we are reimbursed a portion of our monthly premiums.
• MDCP provides respite.  Due to her health care needs, she needs to be left with caregivers who are aware of her health issues, medications, and special needs.  MDCP pays a person who we have hired to take care of my daughter in our home.  This has been a huge blessing for my family.  We were able to hire a person we trust to take care of her when we needed someone to watch her and are confident that if she needs any medical attention, that person will be able to take the proper steps necessary.
• Her waiver provides medical equipment and supplies that are not otherwise covered by health insurance.  My daughter is almost five and is still not potty trained.  Her waiver provides diapers and supplies for her.
• Her waiver provides transportation or mileage reimbursement for the many doctor and therapy appointments she has every week. 

A lot of states, but not all, have waiting lists for their Medicaid waiver programs.  To see what types of Medicaid waivers are offered in your state, click here: http://www.cms.hhs.gov/MedicaidStWaivProgDemoPGI/08_WavMap.asp  When you click on your state, a list of waivers will pop up.  The state of Texas has 25 waiver programs.  You may need to scroll to another page to see all the waiver programs in your state.  When you select a program, you will have the option to download the very long and confusing program description.  I suggest, instead, contacting or looking up your state’s Department of Aging and Disabilities website to find more information (in layman’s terms) about your state’s waiver programs and process of applying.  Medicaid waivers can be very difficult to navigate, but very beneficial to families who have children with a lot of medical issues or families who need respite care due to their child’s higher level of needs.

Both my children suck their thumb or other fingers. My 2 year old daughter, Annabelle, sucks her 2 left fingers upside down while her right hand holds her ear. My son, Roman, is only 4 months and he sucks his left thumb. Occasionally he will also hold his ear while sucking his thumb. I suspect this is because he is trying to copy his big sister. While finger sucking can be a problem in later years, I am thankful that they have found a way to comfort themselves.

A lot of my friends who have children that suck their fingers also breastfed their babies. I asked my pediatrician if she noticed that it was more common in breastfed babies and she said no. So what form you choose to feed your baby doesn’t determine if they will find comfort in their fingers or a pacifier.

Don’t Worry

When Annabelle first started to suck her fingers I got really worried and looked up the topic in my What to Expect the First Year book. The book said it wasn’t a big deal and that it shouldn’t affect her teeth, so I stopped worrying about it.  This article on Baby Center also says not to worry about it.

Of course there are many pros and cons to thumb/finger sucking. I don’t have to keep track of a pacifier or put it back in when it falls out while sleeping. My child can soothe themselves whenever and wherever they need it. I do have to wash my daughter’s hands often, so she isn’t sucking on dirty fingers. I also try not to use hand sanitizer, because I don’t want her to be sucking alcohol off her hands. When she was smaller I used to encourage her to suck her fingers when she was upset or about to fall asleep. However, you can’t force them to find comfort in their fingers if they don’t want to.

So when should I be concerned about my children sucking their fingers?

The American Dental Association says:

“Most children stop sucking their thumbs or other fingers on their own between the ages of 2 and 4 years. The behaviour lessens gradually during this period, as children spnd more of their waking hours exploring their surroundings…If a child does not stop on his or her own, parents should discourage the habit after age 4 years.”

I can already tell that my daughter is sucking her fingers less and less. It usually only when she is watching television or going to sleep. I am hoping that it will end on its own. Even Dr. Greene thinks it can end on its own.  I want to tackle potty training, before I take on another problem.

How do I help my child stop sucking their thumb?

eHow.com has 6 different articles on how to teach your kid to stop sucking their thumb. There are a variety of tactics and tools you can use such as: explaining how it damages teeth, using bad tasting substances, thumb guards, distractions, band aids, and sticker charts. My old pediatrician said that instead of pointing it out that you have to praise them when they don’t suck their fingers.  As with any parenting decision you have to find the one that works for you and your child. Just remember that breaking a habit can take a while, so be patient!

I don’t think my 2 year old even knows what she is doing when she does it, so I can’t start the process to stop her yet. I am not ready to tackle problem either, so for now I am letting her enjoy the comfort of her two fingers.

Have you helped your child stop sucking their fingers? If so, how? Are you concerned about your child’s finger sucking?