The Mom Crowd

Last Friday, my 18 month old daughter had her cleft palate repaired and we stayed two nights in the hospital.  Due to various medical issues with my children, I’ve spent my share of nights sleeping on pull-out hospital beds and have learned that staying in the hospital is probably one of the most uncomfortable places to stay.  I have written an article to help parents prepare for their child’s surgery and now have decided that parents also need some encouragement on finding ways to be more comfortable during their hospital stay with their child.  Simple things, like knowing how to silence the iv machine alarm can really make a big difference during your child’s stay.  I’ve also stopped being afraid of bothering the nurses when my child or I need something.

Here are 10 ways to make your hospital stay a little more comfortable:

1. Go home to shower and get a couple hour nap or break if possible.  Allow a friend or family member to stay with your child while they are resting while you go home and recuperate a little.
2. Learn how to silence the alarms on those machines.  Once you’ve paged your nurse that their iv pole bag is empty, there is no need for you to endure the loud, annoying beeping that accompanies the empty iv pole bag.
3. Bring a portable DVD player with headphones and rent a good chick flick.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask your nurse for things you need (like a rocker, extra pillows, to start the coffee maker in the family kitchen, etc…) and more importantly, keep asking until you get it!
5. If you think your child needs pain medicine, then communicate that to your nurse.  I have felt at times like I sounded like I was overly drug-seeking for pain medicine for my child, but staying ahead of the pain after surgery can be the difference of being slightly uncomfortable and completely miserable during your hospital stay.  If the pain medicine is not working, ask your nurse to page your doctor to see if there is something else you can try.
6. Make friends with your child’s roommate.  Conversations with other parents can really help the time to go by quicker.
7. If you’re not happy with your nurse, ask to speak to the charge nurse to share your concerns.
8. On the flip side, make sure you let the charge nurse know when you have a fantastic nurse!  We had the best nurses we’ve ever had this past weekend and was sure to let the charge nurse know what fantastic nurses we had this weekend and named them to her.
9. Don’t feel the need to get up when the nurse comes in your room in the middle of the night to check vital signs or mess with the iv pole.  If your child does not need you to tend to her, keep getting as much sleep as you can!
10. Ask questions about the care your child is receiving.  Learn the dosages of your child’s medication and/or special precautions that should be taken with your child while recovering in the hospital. We have had a couple of incidences with improper dosages and medications with our children which were caught because I was aware of their medication.

What are some ways you have become more comfortable during your child’s hospital stay?

I am late getting my post up today, because I spent 18 hours traveling by car with my husband, 2 year old daughter, and 4 month old boy. We came home to San Antonio after visiting Dawn and her family in Hunstville, AL last night. I hadn’t seen her in person in 11 eleven years. Our families had a great couple of days hanging out together.  On the drive there we drove to Memphis from San Antonio and spent the night. Then continued the last 4 hours after a visit to the Memphis Zoo the next day. My kids were champs throughout the entire trip.

Here is how we handled traveling with 2 kids under the age of two.

Both of my kids are still in diapers and I think this helped the potty situation. It was easy to pull over and change diapers or just do it whenever we stopped for food.

Driving most of the way in one day, spending the night, and traveling a short distance the next day worked for us.  The morning after a day of driving we went to the zoo to wear out my daughter. We got back in the car, ate lunch, and she slept most of the 4 hour drive.  On the way back we didn’t spend the night, but we spent an hour and a half in New Orleans to give us a break from the road and the car seats. While the New Orleans stop added to our overall traveling time, it was worth it to eat some yummy beignets and stretch our legs before the last haul home.

I brought plenty off of snacks and toys for Annabelle. One of my favorite traveling toys are the Crayola Color Wonder No Mess Markers and coloring pad. My daughter can color to her heart’s delight without coloring the car or herself.

We borrowed a DVD player from friends and had plenty of Dora DVDs. We waited as long as we could on both trips before we even let her see the player in the car. Once the player is on no other toy will do. Also, for my daughter she doesn’t fall asleep watching TV. Both times she watched about 4 hours of Dora straight and never fell asleep once even though she was incredibly tired.

To get my daughter to nap I wouldn’t give her anything else to eat or play with. She would sit there bored until she finally decided to close her eyes and sleep.

As we were traveling we didn’t stick to a lot of rules with Annabelle. We did try to get to her to nap, but other than that we did whatever that would keep her comfortable and happy.  Although, after the first day I think I let her eat too many sweets on the drive while watching Dora. She was incredibly hyper our first evening in Memphis running up and down the hotel hallway and jumping on the bed.

My 4 Month Old Boy

My baby boy, Roman, is 4 months old and he had a harder time dealing with car than my 2 year old. He is still breastfed so I would have to get him out to feed him, but there wasn’t anywhere to lay him down and really let him stretch. Sometimes we would have to get him out of the car seat and just hold him for a while to calm him down. He did sleep a lot on the trip and didn’t cry a lot until the last leg home, when he was just done with being in a car seat.  Even though he was with us, we both missed each other.

Overall, my kids are champs and did great being in their carseats for extended periods of time. We drove a rented Tahoe and I think this also made the drove more comfortable for them as well. I hope my story will help you if you are planning to do a road trip with your kids!

Have you done a long road trip with your kids this summer? How did it go for you? What did you do?

Ok, so I’ll admit it… I use disposable diapers and I love the ease and convenience of them.  I always thought that I would only use the most expensive name brand diapers because “my children deserve only the best”.  My friends will all attest to the fact that I was a sold-out Pampers snob with our first child.  So often they commented on it that it’s now just kind of a running joke, especially since I only buy generic diapers for our second child.  Oh the things I have learned in my four years of motherhood!

With two kids in diapers, we quickly realized that it was not financially feasable (or smart) for us to spend $150 a month on diapers.  Before I would even consider buying generic diapers, I did my research by polling my friends and of course online searches.  But honestly, the best research I did was actual trials on my own baby.  Here is what I found:

Pampers Swaddlers/Cruisers

Pros: soft outer cover, form fitting, held overnight well, cute designs, available everywhere, coupons readily available, Pampers Gifts to Grow program, goes up to size 7

Cons: most expensive disposable per unit

Pampers Baby Dry

Pros: held overnight well, few leaks, cute designs, available everywhere, coupons readily available, Pampers Gifts to Grow program

Cons: not very form fitting, not stretchy (somewhat restrictive), almost as expensive as Pampers Swaddlers/Cruisers

Huggies

Pros: soft outer cover, stretchy tabs, held overnight well, cute designs, available everywhere, coupons readily available, Huggies Enjoy the Ride program

Cons: not very form fitting, had many poopy leaks (especially in the first few weeks of life while breastfeeding), about the same price as Pampers

Luvs

Pros: soft outer cover, moderate absorption, cute designs, available everywhere, cheaper than Pampers and Huggies

Cons: not very form fitting, somewhat restrictive, needed larger size because of lack of stretch

Parents Choice (Wal-Mart brand)

Pros: soft outer cover, held overnight well, never had a leak, less than $15 a box for 80-100 diapers (sizes vary)

Cons: only at Wal-Mart, harder to detect fullness from outside “feel”

Up and Up (Target brand)

Pros: soft outer cover (similar to Pampers), held overnight well, form fitting, cute design, about $15 a box for 80-100 diapers (sizes vary)

Cons: only at Target, seems to get full faster than other brands, harder to detect fullness from outside “feel”

Overall, we have been really happy using the Parents Choice and Up and Up diapers.  Admittedly, we kept our son in Pampers longer than we would have liked because he was difficult to potty train and Pampers went up to a size 7, but just changing one kid to store brand diapers saved us over $50 a month! 

What has your experience with store brand/generic disposable diapers been?  How many brands of diapers did you try before deciding on the right one for your child?

Photo Courtesy of: Kimblahg

This post is for moms of biological and moms of adopted children.  After birthing two children and adopting one child, I have noticed that bonding with your new child, no matter how they joined your family, does not always go smooth.  Amanda wrote a post sharing her own difficulty in bonding with her newborn. 

There are two main attitudes that women should approach motherhood with:

No expectations

• After dreaming about your child as he or she develops in your womb or after staring at a single picture of your child who is halfway around the world for 9-18 months, the expectations that you have of who this child is and how they are going to behave are really not based on anything more than fantasy. 

Understanding that bonding may not happen naturally or immediately

• Hollywood has placed an unreasonable expectation on mothers that they are supposed to immediately fall in love with their new child.  Friends, family, and loved ones also add to the theory that “good mothers fall head over heels in love instantly” with their new child.  This is not realistic and does not happen for a lot of mothers.  By going into the orphanage or the delivery room with the understanding that bonding probably won’t happen instantly, I think mothers have set the stage for true bonding to begin.  The disappointment and surprise when the bonding does not happen immediately can prolong and interfere with the progression of true bonding.

Mothers who keep the above two ideas in mind when meeting their child for the first time have a great foundation set to form a deep and intimate bond with their new child.  For moms who do not feel connected to their child, they do not need to sit and wait for that feeling of closeness and deep love for their child to arrive.  Those feelings may not come without intentionally seeking out a close bond with their new baby.  Even mothers who feel that they did instantly bond with their new child need to be proactive in deepening and strengthening the bond they have already begun to form with their new child because stress and sleep deprivation can do wonders on that bond!

There are many practical ways to foster and encourage a close bond with your child with an attitude of intentionality.  I did not do all of these with my children.  I suggest picking and choosing some of these ideas that will work for you, however do not choose your activities based on what feels natural for you because if you are not feeling attached to your child it is likely that none of these activities will feel natural for you.

• Kangaroo care (this helps newborns and children who are new to their forever family feel close to their moms and can also help moms to feel close to their new child).
• Breastfeed (even mothers who are adopting small children can choose this option!)
• Counseling: Sometimes feeling like you’re not able to bond with your child stems from Post-Adoption-Depression-Syndrome or Post-Partum-Depression-Syndrome.  Both are VERY COMMON and you should seek help and support from professionals who have experience and training in PADS or PPDS.
• Slow down the other areas of your life and focus on your relationship with your child. It’s more important for you to spend time with your new child than with your dishes and vacuum cleaner during these first few months with your new little one.
• Get some time away. Go to the bookstore or out to coffee with a friend.  Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.
• Baby wearing.  This especially helped me in bonding with my daughter who we adopted.
• Have your child sleep in your bedroom or stay with your child until he or she is asleep. 
• Talk about your feelings of detachment from your child with your spouse or close friend who will understand and encourage you.
• Be diligent and wait for the fruit of your labor.  Love is a verb which becomes a feeling after it is practiced. 

These activities not only promote mom’s bond and attachment to their new child, but also promote a healthy bond and attachment from new baby or child to mom.  Sometimes the feeling of being bonded to your new child comes after your new child is exhibiting evidence of being very bonded to you. 

Have you had trouble bonding with your new child?  What are some things that helped you in fostering a closeness with your new child?

Should you keep your child in a rear facing car seat past the minimum requirement? The American Academy of Pediatrics currently recommends that “children should face the rear of the vehicle until they are at least 1 year of age and weigh at least 20 lb to decrease the risk of cervical spine injury in the event of a crash.”

Last month the British Medical Journal published an article stating that  “rear facing seats are safer than forward facing seats for children under 4 years old.” So parents should keep young children in rear facing seats as long as possible. The report goes on to say that “excessive stretching or even transection of the spinal cord can result if a child is involved in a head-on crash while in a forward facing car seat.”

Car-safety.org explains that “rear-facing car seats spread frontal crash forces over the whole area of a child’s back, head and neck; they also prevent the head from snapping relative to the body in a frontal crash.”

In an article for ABC News Sharon Munns, injury prevention coordinator at the Mayo Clinic Trauma Center in Rochester, Minn. explains the benefits in more detail,  “The rear harness works in a way that allows the head, neck, and spine to move all straight up and down, so the body moves with the restraint of the seat, preventing crash-related injuries,” she said. “In a front-facing seating, all of the body weight is going forward on the harness, which can cause injury to the head, neck and spine for children under 35 pounds. There are documents of spinal cord injuries because of children facing frontward at such an early age.”

(more…)