The Mom Crowd

As a mother there are a few topics that can be difficult and uncomfortable to talk about with your teenage son or daughter. However as difficult as they may be, some discussions are necessary and must take place. One of these is a frank discussion about alcohol and drinking amongst your teen’s peer group.

This is a subject that you should not put off having until your teen is in the latter part of his/her teens- instead have the talk as early as possible!

Don’t wait until your teen starts to drink without your knowledge and worse, become an alcoholic who will need to enter alcohol rehab programs for treatment. Talk to them now.

Talking Openly and Honestly

Parents are often in the dark about drinking among teenagers. They also vastly underestimate the extent to which teenagers drink, as well as how early they begin to experiment with alcohol. Teen drinking however is not something that you have to automatically accept will take place. You can talk with your teenager and discuss the risks as well as the health consequences that go along with the consumption of alcohol. It is also important to encourage and support your teen son or daughter in making decisions that are right for him or her.

Having a frank discussion (or a number of discussions if need be) with your teen is not always easy. In fact it can be nerve wracking not just for you but also for your teenager! You may be uncertain as to how to approach the topic and not know exactly what you should say about it. Your teenager on the other hand may try to dodge your attempts at conversing on the subject and may become distant or evasive when you begin to talk. Don’t be surprised if your teen rolls his or her eye a couple of times or does not seem very interested in the conversation that is taking place. As a mother you are used to this by now, are you not?

Planning the Time and Place

Choose a time to talk when the two of you are both feeling calm and relaxed. Do not choose a time when either of you are distracted or stressed by other things. You need to have a clear head when you broach the subject of alcohol with your son or daughter.

This also goes for the place where you will have the discussion. Choose somewhere that is quiet, calm and free of distractions and/or interruptions. Do not overwhelm yourself by feeling that you must touch on every aspect related to the subject of teen drinking. In fact it is better if you break the conversation down into parts and have more than one talk about this important issue. Having shorter discussions can help both of you to feel even more relaxed and focused on the subject at hand.

Getting the Discussion Underway

It would be wise if you began the conversation by finding out how much your teen knows about alcohol in general. Then you can ask him to share his views about alcohol. Listen carefully to what your teen has to say regarding his thoughts, opinions and ideas about this subject. Listen carefully.

Once you have listened then you get to have the floor. Provide the necessary facts to your teenager. Tell him that alcohol is a drug that has a very powerful and disruptive effect on both the body and the mind. Tell him that alcohol is very addictive and anyone can fall victim to it- including individuals in his age group.

Keep in mind as you talk that many teenagers believe that alcohol can help them to fit in with the popular crowd at school and can also help them to feel happier and more fulfilled in their lives. Teenagers harbor many fallacies about alcohol and often see its allure but not its downside. As a parent you need to debunk these misconceptions in the gentlest manner possible. Let your teen know that alcohol is a depressant that can cause them to feel depressed, sad and /or angry. Let them know that even though alcohol is legal it acts on the nervous system in negative ways.

Keep the Discussion on a Positive Note

Keep your teenager’s self-respect in mind as you communicate why drinking is not a good idea. Be as positive as possible. Do not attempt to threaten your teen and do not use scare tactics to warn him off of drinking. These tactics rarely if ever work and they are simply not a good argument for the case that you are trying to build. What you should do instead is explain the risks to your teen in a no-nonsense manner that he can understand and relate to. If he has any questions then be prepared to answer them in a simple and concise manner.

Divorce is not an easy life transition for anyone to cope with but it can be particularly painful for the children who end up feeling like they are caught in the middle. As parents who are getting a divorce you play the most important role in how your kids cope with the changes that are about to take hold in their lives. Your minor children need all of the help and support that you can give them to get through this traumatic experience with as few issues as possible.

Be There for Your Child

As a parent getting ready to split from your spouse you are dealing with a lot but you must consider what your child is going through as well. You must make it a top priority to assist your child in making the transition from the kind of life your family shares right now to the way it will be after the divorce is final and your spouse and you no longer live under the same roof.

This sounds easier to do then it is in reality but what is most important is that you make yourself available whenever your child wants to talk with you about how he or she is feeling. Answer your child’s questions honestly and be understanding and supportive when he brings his/her concerns to you.

Break the News Together

It is a good idea to tell your children that you have decided to get a divorce together as opposed to each one of you telling them separately. Discuss with your soon-to-be ex-spouse beforehand how you plan to approach the topic and what you are going to say. Be as honest as you can be with your kids and be prepared for emotions that range from anger to sadness to confusion about the decision that the two of you have made. Tell your little ones as much as they need to know and that is it.

Allow your children to feel their emotions and be prepared to be the bad guy for a while until they start to come to term with the reality. Let the truth of what is taking place sink in before you bombard your kids with the details of what life will be like once mommy and daddy are living separate lives.

Some children think that they are responsible for the divorce so as parents you both need to assure them that that is not the case.  Let your children get angry or cry and express themselves to you just as you have expressed yourselves to them. You are preparing to mourn the loss of your marriage and your children deserve the same as they mourn the loss of the family life they have been a part of and enjoyed up to this point in their lives.

Maintain the roles that you each play as parents. You continue to be the mother who does mom things and let the father continue to do dad things. Try as hard as you can to keep your children’s lives as normal as possible. While there will be changes to cope with in the weeks and months to come you must make every effort possible to maintain the status quo in your children’s lives and to keep everything on stable footing.

Dial Down the Conflict Factor

It would be nice if divorce was amicable but often it is not. As spouses who are calling it quits you must remember that you must continue to co-parent your children. For that reason you need to dial down the amount of conflict that your children see in front of them.

Argue as little in front of them as you possibly can. When you minimize the level of conflict this plays an important role in how well your kids are able to adjust to the changes that are swiftly taking place in their lives. It makes the adjustment easier for them which is exactly what you want. You want your children to be hurt as little as possible and this is how you help to make it so. When there is arguing to be done take it behind closed doors and keep it away from the ears of your little ones. Remember that your kids love you both so do not do anything to damage the bonds they have with either one of you.

Adults have to deal with stress all of the time but do you realize that your children do as well? Children feel the stress of life and it affects them but they experience it in a different manner than do grown-ups. They may not experience it on the same scale as adults do and they may not experience it as often but children feel the pressure of daily living and it can give rise to anxiety, depression, worry and doubts.

Children worry about making and keeping friends as being well liked is so important to youngsters. They worry about their grades and getting their chores done. They also worry about living up to their parents’ expectations and not disappointing them. As a mother you play an important role in helping your children to cope with stress. Here we offer you some help in the area of stress reduction for your kids:

1. The single most important thing you can do to help your children to effectively cope with stress is to be there for them. Listen to your children when they want to talk about something that is bothering them. Do everything you can to put yourself in their shoes and from there to offer assistance, advice and to help them to come up with a solution to the problem. As adults it is sometimes not an easy feat to try to relate to the concerns that children have but do your very best. Keep in mind that you were once a child too.

2. Encourage your child to get enough physical activity. Exercise can be a stress buster for people of all ages. Make exercise a regular aspect of your child’s day-to-day life. Gym class at school is not enough exercise for your child, especially when he is feeling anxious and worried. Physical activity is not just good for the body but also for the mind as well. Help your child to figure out what kinds of exercise he would like to do and then support him in his choices.

As often as possible join your son or daughter in enjoying exercises together. Go for walks or bike rides. Go swimming in the local pool or shoot a few hoops in the front yard. Play badminton or kick a soccer ball around. Physical activity can clear the mind and can keep stress at a manageable level.

3. Buy your child a diary or journal and encourage him to write in it as often as he or she wants to. Encourage your child to use it as a way to express how they are feeling on paper. This stress reduction technique is called journaling and it can help to relieve stress as it helps a person to get to know themselves better. It also helps them to see their problems in black and white and can provide a means of helping your child to cope with the difficulties he or she is going through. By writing in a journal your youngster may be able to come up with their own methods of dealing with their problems.

4. Your child needs to have time to play, run around and laugh out loud. Encourage your child’s creativity when it comes to his hobbies and do what you can to be enthusiastic and supportive. By having outlets that bring him pleasure and enjoyment your child will develop better coping mechanisms. There is a time for work and a time for play. Ensure that in your home there is a good balance between the two.

5. One of the best defenses against stress is to build a strong immunity system. To do this make sure your child eats a healthy diet that is well-balanced and rich in vitamins and minerals. You should also make sure that your child gets a good night’s sleep. A deficiency in either healthy foods or sleep can lead a child to become irritable or frustrated more easily. A weak immune system can open the door to not only a greater level of stress but also a higher potential for illness.

Self-confidence is not something that automatically develops on its own. It is something that a parent needs to help their child to grow. It is very important for your child’s growth and development that he or she cultivates a healthy body image and a healthy level of self-confidence. The earlier you can help your child with this the better. Having a poor self-image and little self-confidence can lead to a number of problems for your child’s emotional, psychological and social well-being and can affect the way your child relates to his/her peers.

There are some very important ways in which you as a mother can help your child to develop self-confidence and to help him to feel as good about himself as possible. There are numerous ways that you can boost your child’s self-confidence. Here we look at some of those ways:

Be a Positive Role Model

Your child is watching the things you do and listening to the things you say. He or she is very focused on you because you are mom. What you need to do is to be a positive role model for your little one. Send the proper messages to him or her by what you say and do. If your words and actions communicate to your children that you have confidence in yourself and respect for yourself then your kids will want to emulate that. Children model the behaviors they see and you are the most important influence and role model for your children. You can make a big difference.

Spend Time with Your Child

Your child needs to spend one-on-one time with you as often as possible. Whether you sit and watch a movie with your child, play a game, go for a walk, or go out for ice cream it is essential that you spend as much time with your child as possible. You need your child to know that you value the time you spend with him or her

Empower Your Child

Do what you can to empower your child. When you do this you strengthen your child’s inner resolve and this increases his self-confidence because it allows him to develop his own capacities. One way that you as a mother can help to empower your son or daughter is to provide him/her with choices. Be picky about what choices you give your child and do not offer too many as this can lead to confusion but do make this available to your child as often as possible. Choices can instill confidence in your child and can help him to feel good about himself.

Give Him an Important Job to Do

Give your child a job around the house or a task that will make him feel valued and important. Make sure you choose one that is age appropriate. No matter how small the job make sure you emphasis to him how important the job is. This will give your child more confidence and will help him to develop a high level of self-esteem.

Show Your Sunny Disposition

Show the sunny and positive side of your disposition. Negativity and gloom are everywhere we look in this world. Do your best to highlight the positive and uplifting side of life. Your child will pick up on this and it will help him to form a positive self-image and it will lead to increased confidence in his own nature.

Create a Routine

Having a routine is vital for your child. Not only does this make it possible for him to know what to expect but it also gives him something to depend upon and it makes him feel secure. When you make a schedule for meal times, bedtimes and the like this provides your children with consistency and can lead to improved confidence. Do your best to stick to the routine as much as possible.

Every season has its health and safety hazards and winter is no different. Whether you love it or hate it you must make your way through the cold weather season taking every step possible to keep healthy and safe.

You want your children to enjoy all that winter has to offer but you also want to keep them as well protected as possible. Here are four tips to help you do just that:

The sun shines during the winter just as it shine in the summer

During the winter the temperatures can get very frigid. You may think that sunscreen is not required during the colder months when there is snow on the ground but that is not the case. Do not put away the sunscreen in winter because your kids still need it when they play outside. Snow reflects more than 75 percent of the damaging UVA and UVB rays from the sun. Put it on your children’s delicate facial skin before they head out with their sleds or their plans to build snowman.

You need to bundle your kids up in appropriate winter wear

when they go outside but you do not want them so snug that they can hardly breathe or move. Their outer wear should fit their bodies properly but it should not be so tight that it restricts their movements. This is as true for clothing as it is for footwear. Socks and/or boots that are too tight can constrict blood flow and this can lead to feet that are even colder and very uncomfortable. When you take your child to the store to buy new boots it is best to shop in the afternoon or evening. When sizing the boots allow sufficient room for an extra pair of socks.

Be smart about the choices of clothing you pick for your kids

It is wise to dress them in layers when they head off to school or go outdoors to play. Choose outdoor jackets and snow pants that are waterproof and windproof. Cotton absorbs sweat and works well as the layer closest to the skin and wool works well as one of the other layers. But do not choose garments that are made of a scratchy wool or are too heavy as this will make your children sweat too much and will make them downright uncomfortable. Wool is a good insulator and it is also flexible and durable. The combination of layers of cotton and wool will help to keep your children warmer and dryer (and therefore more comfortable and less likely to complain!).

Make sure that your children have the right protection for their face, hands and neck when they leave the house. Invest in good quality hats, mittens and scarves. To save time when you are getting your kids ready to go outside keep winter garments in the closet nearest the door and store mittens or gloves and scarves inside of the hats.

Teach your children about outdoor safety

Especially when they are playing in the yard and also participating in winter sports and activities such as skating, skiing or sledding. Be there to supervise your children and make sure you have tissues and dry mittens on hand. Limit the time your children play outdoors in accordance with the temperature of the day.

Only allow your children to skate on ice that has been deemed frozen enough to skate on. Make sure that the sledding paths your kids use are in safe locations. They should not be too close to the road and they should not be too crowded with kids.

Purchase sleds for your little ones that are as safe as possible. The types that can be steered are the smartest choice. If you child wants to snowboard or ski then it is probably a good idea to find an instructor who can provide them with lessons. In that way you will know that they have been taught properly.

When they do get out on the slopes to do these winter activities helmets should always be worn as well as gloves with built-in wrist guards.  As well the child should always be accompanied by an adult. If you or dad cannot do it then find a trusted family member or friend who can.