The Mom Crowd

Danelle “Barbi” Ice is a problogger and the founder/editor of HomemakerBarbi.com, an online Home & How-To magazine with free resources specializing in homemaking, parenting, frugal living, and family life.  If you liked this article, visit Homemaker Barbi!

Pregnancy is an exciting time of change and anticipation, and many of us expecting mamas start reading every pregnancy book, magazine and website available!  New moms want advice, knowledge, and the security of others’ experiences to know that what we’re feeling is normal, even if this isn’t your first baby.

There are plenty of things you may wonder about at some time during the 9 months, however, that you won’t read about in books. We’re giving it to you straight:  6 truths about pregnancy and motherhood that nobody tells you.

1.  You do not have to (and probably won’t) lose your baby weight immediately.  We’ve all heard the cliché: It took you 9 months to gain the weight, and you can’t lose it overnight.  This saying is a cliché because although we may not like it, these words are true!  It is not good to jump into hardcore exercise right after birth, especially if you did not maintain a high level of physical exertion during your pregnancy.  Take it easy and start slowly.

With the changes your body had just gone through in the birthing process, your top health priorities are rest, recovery, and adjustment.  Your blood volume will decrease, your organs will shift back into place, your body will learn how to be non-pregnant again. Be patient with your body and focus on your health and wellness, not your size and weight.

2.  Even celebrities cannot lose their pregnancy weight overnight.  Of course we see them on the magazine covers 6 weeks after birth looking Oscar-fabulous, but remember that their lifestyles (most times) do not mirror ours!  Our favorite stars might have nannies to help out, personal chefs to cook for them, and personal trainers to come exercise with them daily.  Even with this help, they still have to work hard at exercise and wait for their body to make its natural transitions at its own pace.

3.  Not every mother gets post partum depression (PPD).  Some women do, some women don’t, and not all of your pregnancies will be the same.  If you need help dealing with your feelings, talk to your doctor immediately.  However, if you don’t get PPD, just count your lucky stars! Always be understanding that other moms may be going through post-pregnancy feelings you didn’t, and that’s okay too.

4.  Not every mother enjoys pregnancy.  For some women, pregnancy is an incredibly taxing physical experience.  Some moms have excessive headaches or prominent morning sickness.  Pregnancy is hard work and a very difficult transition for your body and mind to make.  If you don’t enjoy being pregnant due to these or other circumstances, don’t feel guilty.  It’s okay if you don’t feel happy and glowing every day.  Just focus on the good aspects, do the best you can, and take care of your body and your baby!

5.  Sometimes it’s better to keep your baby name choices private.  When you and your partner have chosen names that you love and are ready to pass on to your children for their entire lives, it can be very disheartening to hear comments to the contrary.  It is not unheard of for friends, family members, or even complete strangers to ask if you’ve chosen names and then tell you why those names are bad!  It may defy common-sense, but I was told the name I chose for my son was weird, ugly, icky, old, hard to spell, bizarre, and that “I should come up with something better”.  And if that isn’t bad enough, it’s my husband’s middle name!  Sometimes, relatives and in-laws can even argue about which family names should be used.

Since name choices are personal and something you should be able to feel good about (without receiving any inappropriate or insensitive comments), it’s okay to keep these private between you and your spouse and children.  How do you politely decline to answer when someone asks if you’ve decided on names yet? Simply say, “We haven’t decided for sure yet. We still have plenty of time.”

6.  It’s okay to tell everyone you’re pregnant as soon as you find out!  Finding out that you’re expecting is exciting.  After all, that news changes your life forever and tells you that you’re about to experience an exciting 9 months as you and your spouse wait to meet the fruits of your love.  Talk about anticipation!  While some OB/GYNs and pregnancy books advise not to share the news until you’re out of the first trimester (due to the higher risk of miscarriage in the early months), you should do what feels right to you.

Be sure to come back tomorrow for the sequel, 6 MORE Truths about Pregnancy and Motherhood that Nobody Tells You!